I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Saturday, April 09, 2005

GARAGE SALES


EVERY TIME I GO TO A GARAGE SALE I REMEMBER GEORGE CARLIN''S BIT ABOUT HOW EVERYBODY ELSES STUFF IS "SHIT" AND YOUR''S IS STUFF...I LIKE MY STUFF AND WHERE DID YOU GET THIS SHIT AND WHY ARE YOU ASKING $2 FOR IT..I FOUND SOME GOOD PAPER BACKS FOR .25 AND WHEN I FINISH READING THEM I WILL DONATE THEM TO OUR LITTLE LIBRARY..WHICH FOR A SMALL TOWN HAS A GREAT GREAT SELECTION OF BOOKS. WE HAVE 9 COMPUTERS..A WONDERFUL CHILDREN''S SECTION AND SINCE I READ MORE BOOKS THAN ANY 10 PEOPLE I GET TO ACTUALLY MAKE UP A LIST OF BOOKS I WOULD LIKE HER TO GET SO I CAN READ THEM...WHICH IS REALLY FUNNY AS THE TOWN IS MOSTLY REPUBLICAN AND IM A YELLOW DOG DEMOCRAT AND WE NOW HAVE ONE OF THE LARGEST SELECTIONS OF LIBERAL BOOKS IN ANY LIBRARY IN THE STATE OF TEXAS. HAVE ALL OF AL FRANKLIN, MICHAEL MOORE,MOLLY INVINS, AND EVERY BOOK THAT WAS EVER WRITTEN THAT SLAMS, MAKES FUN OF, OR POINTS OUT WHAT A LIE''N ASSHOLE GEORGE W BUSH IS...WHAT I REALLY REALLY LOVE ABOUT IT, IS THE LIBRARIAN THINKS GWB HUNG THE MOON AND SHE HAS TO BUY THESE BOOKS THAT RIP HIM A NEW ASSHOLE AND SMILE AT ME WHILE SHE DOES IT...AHH, THE GODDESS IS GOOD...I LEAD SUCH A DULL LIFE THAT I TAKE MY PLEASURES WHERE I CAN...LIKE GOING TO CRAWFORD AND WATCHING THE MICHAEL MOORE MOVIE FAREINHEIGHT 9-11...OH MAN, YOU COULDNT HAVE CHISELED THE GRIN OFF MY FACE WITH A JACKHAMMER...THERE WERE YOUR LITTLE PREPPY ASSHOLES SCREAMING 4 MORE YEARS HOPING THEY COULD PISS SOMEONE OFF BAD ENOUGH TO START A FIGHT..WELL, THESE PEOPLE WERE A BUNCH OF OLE PEACE AND LOVE HIPPIES AND COULDNT REMEMBER HOW TO MAKE A FIST...BUT I BEING THE OBNOXIOUS ASSHOLE THAT I AM, QUEEN BITCH..TOOK THEM UP ON IT..SO HERE I AM. ALL 5''4", 61 YEARS OF ME..STANDING TOE TO TOE WITH 4 BIG OLD TEXAS BOYS THINKING THEY RULE THE ROOST...TOLD THEM I THOUGHT THEY WERE WUSSY HOMO''S AND IF THERE WAS A GOD THEY BETTER HOPE THEY WERE HOMO''S BECAUSE IF GWB GOT BACK IN HE WAS GOING TO INSTATE THE DRAFT FOR HIS LITTLE WAR AND SINCE THEY WERE OF THE RIGHT AGE, THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD KEEP THEM OUT IS IF THEY WERE THE LITTLE HOMO''S I THOUGHT THEY WERE.THEY SHUFFLED THEIR FEET AROUND IN THE DIRT FOR A WHILE AND THEN WENT HOME...JERKOFFS....
MAN, CAN I GO OFF ON A TANGENT...DONT GET ME STARTED ON GWB. I JUST LOSE COMPLETE CONTROL...
SO BACK TO THE GARGAE SALES...I FOUND THE PAPER BACKS AND THEY WERE BY MY NEW FAVORITE AUTHOR...T.J. MCGREGGOR...HE WRITES GOOD...
BUT MY FAVORITE AUTHOR IS JAMES LEE BURKE...IF YOU HAVE NOT READ ANY THING BY HIM...SHAME ON YOU...
IM GOING TO HAVE MY OWN GARAGE SALE IN ABOUT 3 WEEKS SO I CAN PUT OUT ALL MY GREAT STUFF AND HAVE PEOPLE WALK UP TO IT AND SAY HOW CAN SHE ASK $2 FOR THIS SHIT....

No comments: