I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Thursday, September 29, 2005

GOOD LAUGH


yafta....(you have to)...(left over from my kids when they were little..along with crash can..and yabut, which every parent knows stands for yeah, but..as in yeah, but jimmy's mother lets him...back to the beginnig..
yafta..read the post danny made on my adios amigos...post...he writes a little ditty and it is so funny..its about waco and sex...

WEEKLY WEST NEWS


i didnt post weekly west news last week as nothing happened...nope..too fucking hot for anyone to do anything..
but this week..we have 4 deaths, one birth and 6 birthdays ranging from 1-80 years old..
khzt is sponsoring a bake sale to raise money for the hurricane victims..
red cross is holding a blood drive
west ambulance is having a fund raiser for themselves(hmmm)
the city of Ross is having its 20th year volunteer fire dept bbq..plus a dance with music provided by the heart of texas road gang..now here is some really great news..the wisd received a superior rating...it is the highest rating a school can get..and we got it...pretty good for a bunch of bohunks..
i finally got enough nerve to ask henrietta what a polka mass was as i had a mental picture of the intire mass done with a polka beat..well i was close..all the music(hymns) that is sung is sung to a polka beat..and usually sung in czech..ill let you guys picture that one in your head without any adlibs from me..
50 years ago this week..henrietta and george got married...i saw the picture of them at the wedding and she was really pretty...george looks the same..just more wrinkles..
my good friend michael adamson who is president of the waco electicians local son won the weekly contest that the paper has to guess the winners of the picked teams and he got 10 out of 12 right and won a $20 coupon for the pizza house of west...way to go tanner...
there is a 2/1 house for sale on virginia street for $35,000..man anyone who wants to invest in real estate should come to west..do we have some houses for you...jeanettet karlick who writes the little column in the paper called thanks for listening(shouldnt that be thanks for reading????)..anyhow she is still writing about her trip to czech, australia and poland..said in one of the towns in czechlavacia(SP) that they have a texas museum which is full of historical information about the czech's that left there and went to texas...pretty cool..
both grocery stores are having sales and dr.pepper and blue bell ice cream are on sale...fuckers...
and this little bit is for all you believers out there..
PRAYER TO SAINT JUDE
Most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the church honors and nvokes you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of.Pray for me. I am so helpless and alone. Make use. I implore you, of that particular privilege given to you, to bring visible and speedy help where help is almost despared of.Come to my assistance in this great need taht i may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferins, particularly(here you make your request) and that i may praise God with you and all the elect forever.I promise, O blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, to always honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to gratefully encourage devotion to you. amen..

well..hm...i would think you would be pretty desperate to have to say that to anyone especially a dead person..which is why i love the goddess..she says she gets more prayers from behind the wheel of speeding cars and is usally "Oh goddess......."...followed by screaching brakes..
she prefers all prayers to go something like this..
"oh goddess, i have fucked up again...can you help?"
she says she does the best she can..

HAIL TO THE CHEIF..PRESIDENT OBAMA


man, that cracks me up...sorry..just another way to get my giggles..rain..rain...yes, virginia..there is something called rain...we got rain..nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo..we got rain...
sorry ...i get carried away...but man..rain..so wonderful..and it is cool out..not 103...not 108 but 80...whooptfuckingdo..
sorry..
im still mad at the dallas morning news..they said that i would see some changes big fucking deal..they swaped the cross word puzzles out..top for bottom..but the comics are still the size of postabe stamps..garfield looks like a smudge with ears..fuckers
so going to send another death threatning email to them..the guy i usually email my bitches to is off till the first of oct..so another guy that i dont know got my email..but mike must have warned him about me as he didnt seem overly concerned that i refered to them as dickheads...going to send a really good one full of my favorite words and then at the end say..angry email to follow...
fuckers
my girlfriend in austin who is from new jersey to begin with has decided that paris hilton is starting to look like a likely candidate for president..as bush has gotten as stupid as he can get...and needs a replacement..
when i saw brown not taking the blame for fema's fuck up's and blaming everyone else ..all i could think of was... i bet he can cross his legs like a radio center rockette as he has no balls at all...
i on the other hand...cant cross my legs..huh huh

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

ADIOS AMIGOS


well, the mexican army is going back to mexico after 3 weeks of helping us in san antonio...really do appreaciate all the help that people have given to texas to help in aiding all these people...but do think i heard davey crockett spinning in his grave...
and for some reason and the goddess knows i have no reason to..but i feel like i have to take up for and defend waco..when chris said it was the most boring city i was right there going yup...it sure is a boring city..and then for some reason i felt the need to defend the city...dont ask me why...but here goes..
waco has a very nice art center, the hippodrome theatre, the waco civic center, the waco symphony, there is a historic villiage that you can visit and indian sprins park is beautiful nd the mason's grand lodge is an incrediable building with the two grand lions in front to guard the door..we have several museums..some absolutely beautiful old historic homes and baylor for all its faults has a pretty campus.anually they have a charity ball, cotton fest, christmas on the brazor which is really pretty. the brazos river festival and on the 4th of july we have a great fireworks show over the brazos..the suspension bridge was made and designed by the same guy that built and designed the brooklyn bridge...plus you can watch games at floyd stadium and the ferrell center..where the baylor girl bears won the championship...we also have lots of outdoor concerts during the summer and lots of activities for the kids to intertain them so the parents can listen to great music.
so there...

IM A SICK PUPPY



i have waited for a while to post this as it is so mean and so sick..but held off as long as i could and hope people that got flooded will forgive me..but when the flood in la. first started and i saw all that water two things popped into my mind and then i pushed them away....first one was i could hear bill cosby doing is old act from the 60's...when he is noah and building the ark and he doesnt believe god is going to send all the rain and god says "how long can you tread water noah?" and the other one was i could hear johnny cash singing "how high's the water father?"
"6 feet high and rising"...
ok, im sorry i know its sick..but i have told you this before..im a twisted and sick person...at least you were warned..

going back to the house yesterday i had my radio blaring on my oldies but goodies station.and they played linda rondstat singing blue bayou....perfect song for the people of new orleans...

SORRY ABOUT THAT CHIEF...
so sad..don adams died at 82 from lung infection...i loved maxwell smart..."would you believe i liked him?"

in the spring of 1970 my dad bought me a set of sheets from j.c. penny...they had big ugly blue and black flowers on a white back ground...well, i still have one pillow case and the top sheet from that set...would still have the rest of the set but the dogs ate them...i cant believe that it has lasted this long...

catching bits and peices of the bob dylan special on pbs...but made me think of his son jacob and his band wildflowers...he sings better than daddy and is way more handsomer..( a word???)

jon stewart of comedy central had the best line about the flood and the response..
"when people say they dont want to play the blame game it's usually because they are to blame".
doh, no shit..
watched barak obama on pbs last night...really do like him and what he has to say..wish he would run for president...plus i just like saying his name...barak obama.....

people with dogs there is a new strain of doggie flu and it is like kennel cough but much worse...so keep an eye out on your dogs...

DALLAS AM NEWS REPLIES TO MY NASTY EMAIL


checked my emails when i got here and had a short email from the dallas am news after i sent them a email letting them know how pissed i was at what they did with the paper..
it said...
WOW... yes we have gotten a lot of complaints and are making some changes and will be in the thursday paper..let us know what you think(we all know that's going to happen)..

ha, least they had a good sense of humor about it..think i called them dick heads...just as long as i get my cross word puzzles back and the paper printed in large enough print to be able to read..the comics are so small now i cant read them...and i have to have my garfield and doonsbury...

man oh man it is hot here..got up early and finished up my shopping and the humidity is horrible...supposed to get over 100 again. 103 yesterday...im waiting for our cold front to bring the temp into the 80's..nights are supposed to be cool...cant wait..
mojo called me last night after she got off work..she talks to me the whole time she is riding the bus, walking home...can hear all the street noises...pretty cool..anyhow..she is all excited...her boyfriend rolff's step mom is a para-legal and her assistant left and she offered mojo the job..its 2 days a week..at $22 an hour..she is so excited..she goes in today and fills out all the paper work..she is afraid she wont get the job..but dont know how she can miss..the woman came looking for her cause she said she knew mojo would do the job well..she is going to drop two of her classes in school as if she keeps up the schedual she willhave only 2 days off a month..that is too much stress on her..that kind of work, meeting, school to meet each week is what drives people back to drinking..but i sure do hope she gets it..she was all excited.plus her brother had called and told her again how much fun they had and how great she looked and how happy she was and how proud he was of her...made her feel so good..she has sure come along way...and the cowboys won...

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

HEADING OUT


ok, my ass is sore and my back hurts so must mean its time to haul ass...going to go to the store and stock up on more fucking tuna fish..just how many ways are there to fix tuna? need to get more yogurt..want to buy a yogurt machine but cant find one in here or in waco..rats...
what really makes it hard to diet in this town is it is full of bakeries...and the whole town smells like one big fucking kolache..cream cheese kolahe...and one of the bakeries makes this bowling ball shapped thing..like a donut but no hole..huge sucker and filled with blueberry, cherry, bavarian cream, or other great stuff..then rolled in sugar..they are about the size of a soft ball and cost $1. and a heart attack...oh man..get thee behind my fat thights satan...

OLD FART'S DESEASE


yes, i have it..think the little mini stroke did me a good one..someone posted or left me an email or something about doing a blog on hurricane jackie scared hurricane rita off..cant remember who did it and cant find it on blogs..if i didnt know i was sitting on my ass i wouldnt be able to find it..fuck...so whom ever ...would you tell me again who are where it is...doh...
missed bobby dylan the other night. every since hurricane rita skipped across texas i have gotten lousy pbs reception..but great article in paper about it..and list the top ten dylan songs..here tis
1.blowing in the wind
2.only a pawn in their game
3.with god on our side
4.girl from the north country
5.mr. tambourine man
6.love minus zero/no limit
7.maggies farm
8.ballad of a thin man
9.like a rolling stone..
10.like a rolling stone..
ok. just figured the article out..this is a list of the to 10 songs of the program..fuckers..
hope pbs comes back in..i watch it all the time and really do enjoy it..love watching mr. noodle and mr. rogers..

MO'SHIT


doonsbury cartoon yesterday was soooo right on...here tis.
duke and honey are in iraq..looking out over the balcony...
Honey:over there sir, see that cloud of dust?it's some sort of military convoy...
Duke: that's not military, honey..that's the halliburton gang, pulling up stake!
Duke: i dont get it. why the hell would cheney's boys be leaving the....the...
Honey:...new orleans
Duke: go pack honey...

john edwards is starting to make presidential speaches and dragging ole left foot forest thru the mud...
mr. edwards chidded bush for suspending the 1931 Davis-Bacon act, which sets wages for workers on federal contracts..
"When the only shot many people have is a good job rebuiding New Orleans, the president intervened to suspend prevailing wage laws so his contactor friends can cut wages for a hard day's work." Mr. Edward's said.
well, fucking doh....no shit...

i see where cindy sheenan got arrested...dont know which grin was bigger..her's or the cops..big fucking deal...i know the war is wrong and so do 99%of the world..but we can't just pull up stakes and go home..but we can ease into it..but i agree in with her right to protest..but think she is doing it for the wrong reason..and think its a little self served...her son's still dead, but now she's a star...hmmmm.

did anyone see the tv where they talked about this 60 pound st. bernard puppy that swollowed a 13 inch serrated butcher knife???? holy shit..had to operate and take it out...rocky may be a pain in the ass sometimes but at least he doesnt eat knifes..although it he thought it would make me nuts he would..

i still want to know what happened to monty rock the third..

yesterday it was 108...yup..1....0.....8...degrees...fuck me...we are supposed to be getting a cold front which will bring the temperature down to the 80's...now that is scarry..im waiting for fall...then summer starts up again...fall is 3 days..


i think my little stroke has fucked with my memory..i have lived here for 11 years..the west water is paid on the 15th of the month..always..i forgot to pay it...they waited and waited and then turned my water off today.got up went to brush my teeth ..no water...thought well, fuck...called caroline and she said they cut it off because i didnt pay it...and i was like...huh...??????????/ so had to go down pay the bill and $25 to get reconnected..so to say im not a happy camper is an understatement..fuckers..

did anyone watch 2 12 men last night..i laughed so hard i peed myself..but then i do that when i sneeze or cough..
anyhow..the kid had drawn a picture of a class mate with huge tits..and she had them but that's not the point..so allen has to go to school to keep his kid from getting expelled and lets charlie play receptionist for the afternoon and he turns it into a hand job massage parlor...in the mean time allen meets the girls mother and she has hockers out to allens chin...he cant take his eyes off of them..he tries to make excuses but cant take his eyes off her tits..she keeps saying up here..bud..the eyes up..here..he says he cant help it he was a bottle baby..this goes on forever him babbling and her pissed at one point she says "what is the matter with you"..poor guy.i am not doing it justice but let me tell you.it was one of the funniest nights i have had in forever...shudda seen it

DALLAS MORNING NEWS CAN KISS MY ASS


oh, man...am i pissed...the past week they have been waring us that there were going to be some changes made in the style of the paper..well, they have screwed the pooch with me..they have turned my second favorite part of the paper into a magazine section..i get my paper and i seperate it to read..all the ads section goes on the floor to my left..then i take the front page, then the business section(boring so want it out of the way fast), metro, sports and then the living section which after sports is my favorite part as it has the comics and the cross word puzzles, which i do after i have read the entire paper...i like the way they have it as it is in a small section so that i can put it on a book and read the questions and do the answers without alot of moving around of the puzzle..do you get this?...anyhow..now they have turned that whole section into a magazine style which means the puzzle now runs straight down..the puzzle is on top and the questions are down below..so now i have to move the fucking puzzle up and down..read question..move it to put the answer in...move puzzle to read question.move it back to put in answer..fuck me..more work that my second marriage...so im going to write such a nasty fuckyoukissmyass letter that their heads will swivel on their little pencil geek necks..may have to double up on my meds...fuckers...babs blogged about changes..well, i feel the same way she does about changes..dont fuckn like em...hate em...loathe them...makes my ass red..if i want a change in my life ill dial the goddess and ask directly...keep that in mind neil and bob..who ever bought blogster...
i wish i could say i feel better after that little explosion but i dont..cause in my heart of heart i know those pea brained motherfuckers will not change it back.unless there are more nutcases like me out there..and goddess forbid if there is..cause if there are more out there like me....hey....more like me..we could take over the paper..then dallas, then texas and then the world...snap..ok, back to the real world.fuckers..

Monday, September 26, 2005

FUCK..THEY ARE RUNNING A BUSH AD...ON MY BLOG SITE...KILL ME NOW


holy insanity you crazy motherfuckers..i just noticed that one of the google ads is for a "are you glad bush won"..spot..fuck me till im blind, deaf, cant dance, cant plow and out of the will..are they trying to make me nuts enough to go postal on them so they can throw my ass off the blogsite?...calm down jackiesue..ahhhhhhmmmmmmmmfuckit........

SEX CHANGES


nothing here about sex changes but trying to fuck with the google ads...and im confused...(no shit sherlock)why are there coffee cup ads on my web site..i know for a pure fact that i have not drank a full pot of coffee in my entire life...im a tea drinker..hot tea during the winter and iced tea during the summer..so why the hell are they selling coffee related items on my blog site? hm...and mentioning blog site..im afraid that we are all going to be sold by our new slave owners... they bought and paid for us..now they want to charge us for being bought...ok..now even real slaves didnt have to pay their white masters.. what kind of rich white man slavery is this...here's the deal slaves..we bought you..now we want money from you because we bought you...how about if i let them run ads on my tits...they are big hummers and could fit a pretty good sized coffee ad on them.."drink all you want from these coffee mugs".."fill em up right here",
"large only, no small"..."comes with cream"..."no sugar these babies carry milk only"...
i need to find a job...i need to get a life..but the good news is..the cowboys won..

ROCKY RACCOON


you know i liked the fucking cat better when he only came home to eat and lick his balls..now that he is the only animal here he has had a personality change and its about to drive me nuts...he never purred before.he never meowed, he never wanted to be petted or even touched. now he is this needey grasping clutching little fucker that wont leave me alone for a minute..meow, feed me..meow feed me right this minute you bitch...meow let me out.NOW...LET ME OUT NOW, OPEN THE DOOR..LET ME OUT NOW..meow. i wanted milk with this can of chicken of the sea tuna..meow if it says chicken of the sea why is it tuna..meow..pet me. no not there ...here..next to my ear..the ear goddammit, the eat, there that's right..now lower...lower...over to the left...no that's too soft i want it harder now...more to the right now...lower...ahhhhhh, meow let me out now...bitch....fuck it sounds just like my first husband...

MORE STUFF FROM MY TWISTED MIND



one of my favorite dreams...
veteran stadium....cowboys against the eagles ...at the end of the game the score is:287 to zip.nada..zero..naught..everyone has scored including the cheerleaders.
we scored 10 td's a quarter and they score none..the fans are soo pissed the storm the field and beat all the players to death...castrate the coach.whip the water boy and bugger the owner..then they all move to texas and become sex slaves for all the cowboy fans..
i smile really big when i wake up from that dream..huh huh...

ICONOCLAST FROM WEST, TEXAS


i love being an iconoclast...no, virginia there is no santa claus, no easter bunny, no tooth fairy and the president of the united states is a stupid asshole...

well, as you all can imagine..im a most happy camper...the dallas cowboys pulled another win out of their ass and nearly gave me the "big one elizabeth"...i think i told you that my son thom and his lovely wife candy(huh huh)..went to san francisco to visit marjo and see the cowboys play the niners...well, she called me during the game and they were loosing..it was such a dismal phone call..fuck damn shit..but they rallied and then rallied again..by the time the game was over i had paced about 6 miles from the chair to the kitchen to the bathroom back and forth..turned the tv off 7-8 times..was going nuts. all the while telling my self to calm the fuck down, easy girl...whoa, settle down...man, if this keeps up i'll never make it thru the season..but the good news is ..they won...pulled it right out of their asses them boys...soo cool...and the best part of it was about 30 minutes after the game i get "the phone call"..sooner called...now that was cool....we talked like we had just hung up the phone from talking an hour ago..i swear our immediate friendship is a result from our being siamese twins in another life..or mother and child..or brother and sister..he was the sister and i was the brother..so we had a great talk..only thing missing was a talk with babs...
then at 2am my time and midnight san fran time mojo called me and we talked for 1 1/2 hours...she had such a great time visiting with thom and "thom's sweet little wifie"...she took them to all the places you would want to visit ..to the haight, the beach, museums, china town, all over..great resturants..thom rented a convertible for them to go to all these places..got to see lombard street...the crooked one..took them to where the bad section of town was and mojo said it was spooky but wanted to show them the good the bad and the ugly..she said no one was all that spooked by the bad part of town but they were respectfull of the fact that it was dangerous...then she had them go to the castro disctict where it is mostly gay people..that shook little goodie two shoes to her core.."thom's sweet wife" couldnt believe that there were nothing but gay people there and wanted thom to put the top up and roll up the windows...mojo was sadden by her attitude..wasent affaid of the bad guys but those gay people really scared her..."censor, bleep, edit"..doh..
anyhow they had a great time..thom was so happy to see mojo healthy happy and sober..she was gratefull to be able to see her brother and spend so much time with him..and best of best he like her boyfriend...which we havent always...rolff is a really nice guy and seems to love her very much...there is a possiblity that she may be able to come to texas to visit..a friend has a van she will sell mojo for little or nothing ..thom said he would fly them out here and she could stay and visit and they could drive the van back..im for that ..she has been gone for almost 3 years..and i miss her so much..but also know that texas is not the right mix for her and she is safer and happier where she is..but mommie misses her girl...and the good news is...the cowboys won...

Saturday, September 24, 2005

CHEEKY KINKY FRIEDMAN


was an article in the paper about our man around texas, kinky friedman. seems he has a animated feature to plus his running for governor...can find it on kinkyfriedman.com..it is along the lines of jib jabs little cartoon on bush and kerry's this land is your land...im going to check it out..as much as i would love to see him be the governator I am still not sure about him ..i know he is 'friends'(how close???) with willie nelson, but he is also buds with laura and forest gump..and i dont care how much politikin' you do..as far as im concerned you cant be friends with forest gump...i can see being friends with laura as she is into reading and he writes books, but still, being friends with forest is like conspiring with the enemy...
was watching travis smiley last night and had the actor vigo(??) verginstine or something like that..you know the one from lord of the rings..anyhow he was on touting his new movie and was talking about bush. and he had been on in 2002 and had a tshirt that said no blood for oil..and said some stuff about bush starting a war in iraq and everyone said oh, no couldnt happen etc..and then it happened. so this time he said that we had no business going to war with iraq, that sadaam being an evil ruler to his people was not enough reason to attack their country and bomb the shit out of them...that a lot of people thought we had an evil ruler to his people and might what to attack us and take him out...laughed so hard...oh well, i get my yucks where i can..
more good news on the n. korea front..they think we are going to attack them with a nuclear bomb and think that they might have to do the same to us first to make sure we don't bomb them..yeah, stupid, that will work...like we won't bomb you then...doh...makes my ass hurt..
you can see things are back to normal with me if i can find something nasty to say about forest gump AND the north korean's..i love being a bitch...
here in my little town of west when i go into the stores and when the clerks ask me how its going or how i am i always say one of two things"i dont sweat much for a fat girl, or the body count is low..."..

HURRICANE JACKIESUE MUST HAVE SCARED OFF HURRICANE RITA


was up till 3:30AM watching the weather and rita hit farther east and didn't hit us as bad as they thought.plus came in as a category 3 instead of a 5...wonder if all those people that left houston and surrounding areas are pissed..i tried to get in touch with all my houston cousins but no word..but they are as nutso as i am and bet anything they just stayed there and prayed..
got up this morning so i could come blog at the library and it is breezy out and cool..almost like fall..we may get some rain which will be fine with me..but don't think we are going to get anything else..i didn't even stock up on anything..figured if it got that bad i would go to strickly country(Old bar in town) as they are always cooking something up there..felt bad for my granddaughter jenny..her mother is out of town and she is supposed to keep an eye on her 16 year old sister jamie plus her dad and candy ) went to san francisco to visit with maryjo and see the cowboys (hopefully) kick the 49er's ass..so she is also babysitting her 13 year old step brother scot..so she called me freaking out as the traffic coming back from west to their house in belmead is bumper to bumper..(this was thursday)..told her to stay there and watch scot that i would keep an eye out for jamie...she has one of those worthless no good for nothing redneck boyfriends that it looks like im going to have to play psycho granny on...so will go out there today and kick his ass...he's not supposed to be there at the house and with kathy(the mom) gone till monday i know he is going to be there..so will go over and scare the crap out of him...make my day..

Thursday, September 22, 2005

HURRICANE JACKIESUE


is hauling ass to the house...will see you all sat am..that is if i can get my fat ass up ...going to bed at 5-6am and getting up at nine is a pisser...thinking about moving to the dallas area and open up a cajun resturant...make me a million making po boys, gumbo, red beans and rice...maybe ill just stay here and pretend i did...well, its going to take me two trips...but im hauling ass....ya'll come back and see us..ya'hea...

LYRICS TO "LAST CALL" BY DAVE VON RONK..


if anyone can find them and email them to me..i would really be a happy camper...part of the lyrics are
"and so we've had another night
Of poetry and poses
and each man knows he'll be alone
when the sacred ginmill closes..."


it's about drunks and bars and along with one called the drunkard..are two really great songs..rubyred couldnt find them..so if anyone can..i would appreciate it...

ASTROSCOPE PROFILE...


anyone want their horoscope profile done? i have a great book that is pretty complete about horoscope characteristics...like mine..
says i am strong, passionate, resourceful, mysterious, magnetic and hard-to-fathom...this sign(scorpio) is supposed to represent the wizards of the zodiac.scorpio men and women are born with extraordianr insight, an ability often to see into the very souls of others, expecially when in a tight spot. The tighter and more threatening a situation, the more acute this gift becomes.A scorpio person faced with imminent betrayal, dishonesty or deception is very rarely misled.Not many people have the inner strength and resources to withstand Scorpio's intense and penetrating gaze withut wavering. retreating, or giving the game away..The tiny scorpion and the high flying eagle represent the dual sides of the scorpio nature.scorpio men and women are highly motivated, gifted and briliant, compassionate and world-serving, self-sacrificing and loyal. and, as has always been so characteristic of this sign, they are nobody's fool..
there is lots more..each sign is really detailed out..so if you want to know about your sign...email me and i will do it for you...if not...i will sting yo ass..

i was in one of my psycho moods last night..after seeing the opener of the new season of Lost..man..that was good..i love that show....really really love that show...i mean it..really...
anyhow i was all tweeked about it and decided to play music instead of watching more tv..and here is what the psycho scorpio listened to...
otis reading...singing my favorite..Ive ben loving you too long..
the santo domingo de selos singing gregorian chants...they are monks from spain and i love to listen to the gregorian chants...mellows me out somehow..but to curb my mellowness i also listened to dean martin singing return to me and the rest of his hits..and topped it off with george jones singing she thinks i still care and the song i want played at my funeral...walk thru this world with me...
topped it off with some letterman..some craig ferguson and read till 6am...fuck ..i hate not being able to sleep...maybe that is why im so wacko today..just have this urge to kick someones ass...maybe ill go out to 1-35 and stop cars and ask them who they voted for..if they voted for bush i will jerk them out of the car and tell them it was much safer to wait out rita at home that to run into hurricane jackiesue...oh well...just wait out the storm i guess...maybe its the air pressure differences or something that has made me nuts...atmosphereic pressures are fucking with my head...nah..im just nuts...

SAFE IN MY LITTLE TOWN OF WEST BY GOD TEXAS

i think rita is heading back to la...and going to hit around beaumont, texas. so far..but west is in central texas and about 89 miles from dallas..so think we are pretty safe..going to tie down my stuff on the porch just to be safe..but if it his east of where it was suppossed to we will be ok...but it was soooo weird to be watching tv and have them show hurricane watch in the left hand of the screen..weird..tornado watch and thunderstorm watch but whoooo hurricane watch..wreaky..

well there is more stupid stuff in paper..and baylor university is running in first place..

QUOTE ON GAY LIFE GETS MUGS PULLED AT BAYLOR
WACO... coffee cups with an author's quote about growing up gay have been pulled from Baylor University's Starbucks..
Dining contractor Aramark pulled the cups from the campus store this month after an email sent to Baylor's dining service said the quote was inappropriate at a Baptist university.
Aramark, which oversees the coffee outlet, consulted with Starbuck's district office and removed the cups to avoid offending others.Baylor officials said.
"My understanding is it was a decision made by Baylor dining services staff, and I've not yet been able to trace it back to any Baylor administrators telling them point-blank to pull the cup,"Baylor spokesman Larry Brumley said."I think they wer trying to be sensitive."
The quote from novelist Armistead Maupin reads:"my only regret about geing gay is that I repressed it for so long.I surrendereed my youth to the people i feared when I could have been out ther loving someone. Don't make that mistake yhourself.Live's too damn short."


well....excuuuuuuuussssse me..fuckers..

Saudi fighters make up only about 1 percent of Iraq's insurgency, but each contributes thousands of dollars to the cause..and they make sure their roles as "martyrs" are now when they carry out sucide attacks..

yup saudi's...bush's buddys...the one he holds hands with when they come to texas..and he rolls out the red carpet for...fuckers..

and can anyone tell me why my urine smells weird after i eat asparagus?

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

DANNY BOY


o danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are callin',
from glen to glen, and down the mountain side,
the summer's gone the roses are all fallen,
and now 'tis you must go, and i must bide.

but come ye back when spring is in the meadows,
or when the hills are hushed and white with snow,
ye'll find me there, in sunshine or in shadow,
o danny boy, o danny boy, i love you so

but if ye come, and all the flowers are dyin',
and i am dead, as dead i well may be,
then you will find the place where i am lyin',
and kneel and say an ave there for me.

and i will hear, though soft your tread above me,
and then my grave will warmer, softer be,
and you will bend and tell me that you love me,
and i will wait in peace unti you come to me.


frederic edward weatherly..."DANNY BOY"....

this is a song garanteed to make me weep...no matter how many times i hear it...

SHITS AND GIGGLES


some times i think im demented..really..i think of some of the weirdest shit at the weirdest times...like i wonder if ronald mcdonald trump has hairy red hair on his ass like he does on his head...i wonder what kind of face jim carey makes when he is constipated..does the pope every get pissed and say "oh fuck"..? when the goddess made the universe why did she make more horses assess than horses..
i know there are more important things i should be thinking about..but for some reason im more inclined to wonder why a fat woman would wear stretch pants than i am as to wonder about the space program..speaking of which they said they are going to send people to the moon again and it will cost us$104 billion dollars..i think before they spend that kind of money to send people into space to fuck up another planet they should at least finish fixing up this one..
i cannot get over the amt of people in government that are getting arrested and sent to jail for crimes against the people they were elected to help..fuckers..
see where the budget official got arrested on charges of lieing and obstructing a fed.investagation in his dealings with lobbyist jack abramsomebody...this is the same one that delay is supposed to be hand and hand with too. they go on little trips together...wonder when he will get arrested and none to soon too..then there were 3 people arrested in a r&r hotel scam...rigging prices of shit to make money...and former republican Ill. gov. on trial for racketeering...fuckers
good news is sophia loren just turned 71..."kiss me twice"...wow..she is so lovely..
did anyone watch the are you a rock star last night to see who got to be the lead singer for inxs??? im glad the kid that got it ..got it...he looked like if he lost he would go out and kill himself...all im waiting for is tonight...lost is back..yea.....!!!! i love that show...since i dont have internet service at home anymore..i watch a lot of fucking tv...and have a death grip on my remote control....biggest reason why i will never remarry..no fucker is getting control of my remote...will have to pry it out of my cold dead hand..with my tv guide in the other hand..all underlined and marked as to what im going to watch...there is an abundance of alien new tv shows..and more peole talking to dead people...which is not a job i would like to have..talking to live people is a pain in the ass ...can you imagine how fucking boring talking to dead people would be...well, going to read the blogs you all left from yesterday...tata for now..we in texas are buckleing down for rita..just hope it doesnt hit new orleans...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

HEADING TO THE HOUSE NOW


remember the dean martin show and he would always say, "im going to mosey on over to the couch now."...i miss dean martin...and elvis,and hunter thompson, h. allen smith, john bulushie, johnny carson, and so many more...hmmm went from going home to "going home"..ha..well, my ass is tired from sitting here at the library for 2 1/2 hours..but i have pretty much caught up with my blog reading...there are some very interesting people out there in blogville...and i keep reading how people are writing mean comments on blogs and calling their kids nasty names and making threats...wow, some people are really fucked up...maybe they should start a blogville for people that just want to post mean shit and only have comments from people that post mean shit...call it "we be assholes and proud of it"...think these people need to go back to their other life...the one where the police are looking for them...too bad we cant direct rita straight to their houses...well, hope all my kinfolk and friends in the south texas area are going to be safe from rita..and to all you in la.miss, and the rest of the south...may the goddess keep yo little asses safe...see ya tomorrow around 10 am or so....

THE GOOGLE ADS CRACK ME UP.

i forget about them most of the time but today i looked up and there is one google ad for a machine ($299.00) that you buy from canada to lower your blood pressure..wonder if the chief reads our blogs and puts the ads on the accordingly?because i have seem blogsites that have been about animals and the google ads have been for pet supplies...if he is doing that, it is pretty smart..and funny..as some of the ads on mine have been for mental health....hu hu..

BEATING AROUND THE BUSH ONLY GETS YOU A BEAT UP BUSH


I am all pilled up now on blood pressure meds...but still have flashing in my right eye and floaty things...but am sure it takes a while for them to kick in...now if i could figure out some why to get a good nights sleep that didnt start at 5am and end at 11am..i will watch letterman and then watch ole craig the scotch late night host and then lay in bed and read thinking it will make me sleepy...i lay in bed until my right boob is so numb from laying on it and the other one is tossed over my neck...making my neck sore...i get up turn on tv or watch a movie..watched supreme happiness of an unclean mind or something like that...with jim carey...started out weird and thought i wouldnt be able to get into it..but stuck it out and ended up being a great movie...very strange ..but great..maryjo called me and we comeserated about the cowboys game..what a fucking blowup that was...grumpy is right ..if i didnt have a stroke from watching that fuck up...i will live forever...i didnt yell or scream but i did throw my remote out the front door and into the yard...scared the crap out of rocky...still havent seen him since then..took me 30 minutes to find the damn remote too..out in the yard in my tshirt and underwear..swearing and laughing and swearing some more..lucky my neighbors are used to strange activities coming from my house...think the only thing weird that i did here was about 7 years ago when in stead of having an easter egg hunt i had an easter quest...made up a bunch of clues made up as ryhmes to tell them how to find their prize..my 2 sons and daughter and daughter in laws made fun of me but the grandkids had a ball and thought it was great..thought the oldest were too old for hunting easter eggs and the younger ones would be into the idea of a quest in stead of a hunt...had the big plastic eggs full of prizes and no hard boiled eggs which kids dont like to eat any how...oh, the quest took up my yard and 2 of the neighbors which is why they thought it was a little weird...

Monday, September 19, 2005

JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW

halliburton has already gotten bids for clean up in new orleans...and mississippi..they were interviewing a local lady who has her own construction company and when she went to bid they said halliburton had it all ready..and it was her property.. they interviewed a bunch of people who were all complaining that halliburton had already gotten most of the clean up jobs and had cut out all the local people who were mostly black...thanks forest..you did it again...

WEST NEWS AND DALLAS MORNING NEWS NEWS...NEWS...


west high school won their homecoming game 35-33..was a really good game..we are now 2-1..hot damn...we had a bon fire and even a little parade..
the hurricane relief effort from out little town came out to be a big thing...over 80 pallets of stuff.have already sent it off..we had over 220 volunteers to help get it sorted, crated and sent off..make me proud of them...we are still raising money.haveing bake sales, auctions and one hair salon is giving $7 haircuts and all the money goes to the relief fund..pretty cool.
jeanette karlic who writes a little column for them paper went to the czech republic, poland and austria...they said the peole were wonderful except for the ones in austria..were very rude..loved the food..but said the hotels food was pretty weird..lots of meat for breakfast and tang for orange juice..but she said the country was beautiful...the villages and little towns were wonderful to visit and they had a great time..said they will go back but not to austria...also said because of the water shortage everyone kind of stunk...i would imagine...isnt that why the french wear perfume and cologne..??
we had one marriage, 2 engagements, 6 birthdays, and 4 deaths...not much going on in west..most people are still recovering from west fest...
did anyone watch the higher gound concert on pbs..? man was it terrific..4 1/2 hours of music..jazz, blues, gospels, and humor..robin williams said the same thing i did that they needed to name the hurricanes some tough names to really scare people into leaving the area..said they should call it hurricane maryjo....i cracked up..if he only knew...but then maybe he does...bette midler sang "is that all there is", and man was it great...and diane krall sang beale street...bill cosby got up and tried to make a point about something but i never could figure out what the fuck he was talking about...think he is taking too much viagra...
This was in the dallas morning news...quotes from people frome la and miss missing their "food"...
"somebody send me a freakin' po'boy. Fat chance, in Dallas.They dont even have french bread out here. And while you're down there, get me a snowball from sugar shack"...message from kjtstb79 on nola.com message board for St. Bernard Parish news.
"i got red beans and rice up her in Ps. and it was dry flavorless baked beans and minute rice with a cut in half hot dog on the side..I really almost cried." reply from apple eye...

"in 1927, all the railroads were underwater.The raods were underwater. Air travel was not adequate to carry enourmous freight, and yhet they were able to supply these 700.000 people with fewer problems than they did today..This made (commence secretary herbert) Hoover presdent, 'cause he handled it so well."..john barry.author of "rising tide:the great mississippi flood of 1927 and how it changed american."..
well, i just happened to watch a pbs special on the great flood of 1927 and the only reason it went so fucking well is because the police held shot guns to the heads of all the local negroes to make them dig dirt and fill sand bags..all the life stock died from no food or drink, and that is when all the black people decided to pack up their shit and move to chicago...not that i can blame them...all the people that were rescued from the roofs of their houses were white people..when they got saved then they went to rescue the black people..so it looks like things havent changed much in 78 years...fuckers..

i watched million dollar baby sat night..why didnt someone tell me i would cry like a baby thru the ending of the movie..wow, what a great movie..clint eastwood is fantastic..the music was the best too..everything about it was soo good..just wish they had stuck a happy ending on it..well, maybe not..

want you all to know that things are back to normal and leave this post with my favorite moment of the week..they were showing all these rescued animals and all the people that were saving them.etc...had a great moment where they reunited a man and his siamese cat. after 4 weeks he drove 10 hours straight from dallas to new orleans to get his cat back...he was hugging the guy that saved his cat and then opened up the cage and drug the cat out and was crying and hugging and weeping his little cats name(romeo) and was such a touching moment..and the cat looked like he wanted to bite the guy in the face..anyone that has ever owned a cat knows that cat was thinking"where the fuck have you been for 4 fucking weeks?...you asshole, leave me here in this flooded city with no food, no water and i have been forced to catch and kill my own food and scrounge arouond for water and then here you come waltzing back in after 4 fucking weeks to be the big saviour...bite me you ragincayjun asshole."
yup, im back...

SERVICES WERE HELD TODAY FOR THE FOLLOWING ITEMS


salt, salt shaker, dr.pepper, all blue bell packages, and all the oil in the wok...ok...so im back on the stupid fucking tuna fish, salad, jello, yogurt, fruit and veggies...lucky for me i love all this stuff.but also loved everything fried.....but until i get my blood pressure and weight down i have to forgo anything that takes salt or grease...hell, i boil my tea bags in canola...
ok, this is the haps...came to the library last thursday and read all the sweet comments and got all tearyeyed and wrote this great thank you card to all of you and promised to go to the drs. and then the server went down..almost had another stoke..huh huh...
and sat i was going to come but felt sort of like hammered shit and said fuckit and stayed in bed...kind of did a few days of whinny feeling sorry for myself..then said fuck it, that sucks..so went to dr. today and got free blood pressure meds...and perscriptions for them and will go thurs am to senior center where they are helping people get on the free meds program..but the dr. said as long as he had free ones he would give them to me...i had described to him how i felt something coming on while i was watching the cowboys play and then again when the eagles played..as you know i get as much enjoyment out of their losing as much as i do the cowboys winning..so he suggested until i get my pressure back to normal..to watch pbs and let the cowboys win or lose with out me...doh..but they are playing the skins tonight and they are inducting the tripples into the ring of honor...so i will watch but will not cheer or yell and scream...i will sit there quietly and just enjoy the game for what it is...a sport....ok, so ill watch pbs...
maryjo called me last night and you would not belive what sick puppies we are..she was on line reading stuff on the computer about symptoms of a mini stoke and i was pretending to have all of them...we especially got a great laugh out of the "do you have problems remembering things"? and i said.."and who am i talking to again?.."..and would keep calling her by different names..we were laughing so hard..told her it would give her good memories of me when i did croak. about how we sat around and laughed and made jokes of my strokes...we are so sick...would like to have listened to her explain what she was laughing so hard about to her her boyfriend..."oh, we were making fun of mom and her stroke symptoms.."...
so anyhow im back in the swing..still have a head ache over my right eye and floaty things and little flashes of light but think it will disapate when i get on the blood pressure meds..cause im not going to er..and have them poke and prod me and make me take a cat scan...rocky looked me over last night and said i looked fit to him.
going to start walking in the mornings too...till i get my blood pressure down i dont want to do to much exericise..but figure i can handle walking..will go up to the high school and walk on the track before the kids get on it...well, have to read all the blogs that i missed while i was gone...thanks again for all the support and good wishes...jac

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

SOME NOT SO GREAT THINGS ABOUT LIVING IN A SMALL TOWN


after i decided that i was probably having another mini-stroke(have had about 5-6 before) i thought, hmmmm think i might go by the drs. so went to the new dr. as the other drs are so old i wouldnt trust them with my dogs care more or less mine...and it was about 3 minutes till 5 when i walked in the drs. office..went to sign in and the recptionist said we close at 5pm and i said well, i think i might be having symptoms of a mine stroke...and she said is someone driving you? and i said no, i drove myself..she said well, you'll have to drive your self to the emergency room as we are closing...!!!!!! i laughed and said, well, dont break your arm dialing 911 for me and went home..figured if i was going to have a stroke didnt think it was a good idea to be on I-35 when i did...figured at least at home i could call 911 if i needed to...but it never got any worse and is about the same today...each one that i have seems to get weaker..weird...the first one i had was an ass kicker..had double vision, head ache so bad i thought i was going to croak..but went away after a while and everthing went back to normal..im in the process of trying to get on one of those programs where you get free meds for blood pressure..as on my income cant afford blood pressure pills and anything else...just found out from henrietta that west is working with drs here to get free meds for us poor folk...
so anyhow, just wanted to let you know im not croaking..just par....i swear it all stems from this sunday when the cowboys won..this is the first time since last season that i had anything to get all worked up over and i was yelling and screaming and that is when i started feeling weird..just figured it was because we hadnt won a game in so long..
thanks for all the messages...going to go home and rest...will see ya'll tomorrow at 3pm texas time...

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

THINK IM COMING DOWN WITH A STROKE OR SUMPIN'


got up this morning and have little sparks of darkness in the right corner of my right eye...little floaty things..and a splitting head ache..now for some people head aches are no big deal..but with me..its a big deal..i dont have head aches...i am a carrier...i give em...not get them..and its only over the right eye..and right side of my head..where the little floaty things are..and if i look down there are floaty things there too.. what the fuck..????and kinda have sorta double vision..and reading this crap ain't making it any easier..so going to blow off blogging and reading blogs and go home and eat some blue bell ice cream and wash it down with a dublin dr.pepper...maybe its from all the screaming i did during the cowboy game and the screaming during the eagle game...heehee..there is a goodess and she hates the eagles too..fuckers...ok..see you all tomorrow at 10am texas time...

Monday, September 12, 2005

I SWEAR TO THE GODDESS

I USED TO KNOW HOW TO SPELL...REALLY..NO..REALLY..ONCE UPON A TIME..I COULD NOT ONLY SPELL WELL, I COULD TALK GUD..

SOMETHING FOR THE OLD FARTS

and now the purple dusk of twilight time
steals across the meadow of my heart.
high up in the sky, the little stars climb,
always reminding me that we're apart.
you wander down the lane and far away
leaving me a song that will not die..
ah, but that was long ago.
now my consulation is in the stardust of a song...

HELP WOULD HAVE COME ALOT FASTER IF..

if those people stranded on top of their houses had spray painted "im an iraqi, come resuce me", instead of help me im an american.they would have been rescued faster...

reading sooners dirty dick and jane stories reminds me of the dirty nursury rhymes..'
There was an old lady, who lived in a shoe..
she had so many children..
she could stretch her cunt over a rain barrel..

DALLAS MORNING NEWS ....NEWS..

GEORGE W. BUSH HAS ANNOUNCED THAT HE HAS DESIGNATED VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY TO TAKE CHARGE OF THE RECOVERY EFFORTS SURROUNDING HURRICANE KATRINA AND CUT THROUGH THE "RED TAPE." I HAVE PLACED A HUGE "BUY" ORDER FOR KELLOGG BROWN ROOT AND HALLIBURTON STOCK, ANTICIPATING THE LUCRATIVE "NO BID" CONTRACTS SURE TO COME...CRAIG MARCKWARDT, DALLAS...


well, that has a ring of truth to it..

I swear to god when i read this i reread it again and again to make sure i had not misunderstood what she was saying...
"everyone is so overwhelmed by the hostipality. and so many of the people in the arena here, you know. we're underprivileged anyway, so this is working well for them.'..former first lady barabar bush on visiting katrina evacuees in the astrodome...

so is she saying its a good thing to lose your home, all your belongings and your kinfolk and pets cause you get aid and succor from the texans..???fuck me..

"
This was a failure of leadership and competence. But it was also a failure of will. And for that, you need look no farther than the mirrow in your bathroom, dearest readers. We elected this crew. We elected the congresses over the last 25 years..democratic and republican..that dafiled to do the things necessary to make New Orleans safer."..blogger rick moran(rightwingnuthouse.com...sept. 4th)

"take whatever idiot they have at the top of whatever agency and give me a better idiot. Give me a caring idiot. Give me a sensitive idiot. Just dont give me the same idiot. Jefferson Parish president Aaron Broussard, frustrated with federal disater relief..

"we all should be very nervous. If this is how they respond to a disater that they know is happening, or know is coming ...a hurricane..how are they going to respoind to a dirty bomb that they dont know.?" former fema chief of staff..jane bullock...

vintage planes fly supplies to louisiana..some WWII era planes based in texas have been used to fery supplies to la. hurricane victims..they are from midland, texas...good ole boys..
3,000 sex offenders are among the 10's of thougsands of people evacuated from la. because of the hurricane.the 7 parishes with the most damage and displaced peole from the hurrican and flooding have 3,080 registered sex offenders and sexual predators., including 1,405 in Orleans parish..

aquarium evacuates surving animals..sending them to dallas, galveston, and monterey calif...most of the 6,000 aminals died as a result..
57 schools are reported damaged..
one of katrina's effects could be an end to the nations only full time symphony owned and poerated by its musicians..The storm blew the 68-member Louisiana Philharmonic Orchestra into exile across the nation. The orchestra's audience, the city of New Orleans, is gone. It's venue, the ornate Prpheum Theatre in the business district, has taken on water. And many of its musicians have lost their homes..

and just to show that stupid is as stupid does....
WOMAN GUILTY OF DWI DESPITE OFFICERS ACTIONS
HOUSTON..A jury found a woman guilty of driving while intoxicated despite testimony that the two arresting officers down loaded nude photographas of her from her camera phone. The officers, Christopher Green and George Miller, have since been fired. The 26-year old woman was found guilty of hte misdeanor charge thursday and sentenced to one year probabtion, a $400 fine, 40 hours of community service and time with victims of drunken drivers..A juror said that the only consideration the panel made was whether she was intoxicated, based on a breathalyzer and field-sobriety tests...

well, no shit...but shouldnt some action be taken against those 2 dimwits..???? fuck me

THE COWBOYS WIN..THE COWBOYS WIN..

well, am i a happy camper or what...life is good..the cowboys won..and won good, not an ugly win...a cute win..not beautiful but cute..im still hoarse from screaming..sent the new neighbor lady running into her house by half time...when the center fumbled the ball to the qb i was screaming fuck so loud the windows were rattling...and to top it off, the sooners won for our boy and texas beat the crap out of ohio...i love kicking yankee ass..houston team sucked. they have the cutest damn qb but he is not going to make it in the league on looks..the steelers won their 14 seasonal opener..some record.im 11-4 so far..$5 a game..
this is going to be one of those catch all blogs...little bit of everything..
dennis hopper is a republican...that just boggles my mind...how the fuck can mr. easy rider be a republican..i always knew there was something about him that was wrong as i have this problem where if i dont like you i cant remember your name..dont know why but that has always been the way ...and i used to make jokes about dennis hopper must have taken so many drugs that it screwed up with my mind as i couldnt remember his name...now i know why..he's a republican...doh..
unbought scientific opinion is increaslingly hard to find.

am i the only person in the world(texas maybe) that loves to put butter then peanut butter and jelly on my pancakes????

back in the 70's i used to have a friend that worked for jose feliciano and jose sometimes could be a bit of an asshole, blind or not...so when he would be especially bad they would set out weird clothes for him to wear..plaids with stripes, yellow, red green mixed up...for some reason that strikes me as really funny.

i watched pbs again this week end and there was a show on noodling...soon as i saw what it was about i thought of sooner..as it is only done in oklahoma..i think...in case you have never heard of noodling..it is where you take your bare hands and go in to rivers, lakes, ponds, etc and catch cat fish with your bare hands..you stick your hand and arm into these mud holes, under trees,etc.and stick your arm in the holes and the catfish will take it in his mouth and they pull the fish out. .we're talking about fishes that weight up to 50 lbs or more...these guys have arms all scared up...in 2000 they had the first noodling contest...the guy that was supposed to be the best jerry somebody didnt catch any as he had been bit by a cotton mouth a few weeks before and was really pissed. but a good sport about it..the largest was a tie between 2 guys..54lbs a peice..and the largest stringer(most fish caught by one person) was 114lbs...that may have been one of the best hours i have spent watching tv in weeks...they even have a noodling queen...or queen of noodling...this is southern oklahoma which is damn near texas so that explains alot...have you ever noodled???? anyone? sooner, texlahoma???

Saturday, September 10, 2005

BYE BYE YA'LL...SEE YOU MONDAY

HAVE A NICE WEEKEND...IT'S FALL HERE IN WEST BY GOD TEXAS, AND FALL ONLY LASTS 2-3 DAYS..SO WILL BE ENJOYING THE NICE WEATHER...97 DEGREES NO HUMIDITY..THA'S ALMOST SPRING HERE...EXCEPT NO BLUEBONNETS...FUCK IM USING ALL CAPS AGAIN...OOPS.
im going to mow the yard if it hairlips the governor...get all the crap off my porch from the garage sale..( 2 months ago) lordy im slow..
so hope you all have a safe and good weekend..hope jacksonville, fla doesnt get hit by ophilia...i'll light candles...hasta la byebye

KEEPER OF THE HANKIE


you know how royal peeps have some one to wait on them hand and feet..some one to carry the queen's purse, her robe, fetch her tea, what ever...well, i think that george w (aka forest gump) should have a keeper of the hanky...the hanky keeper...because as we all know he is full of shit and when he is that full of shit he leaks...it actually runs out of his ears and drips from his lips..so he needs someone with a hanky to dab it off and clean him up...so I think he needs a hanky keeper..only job he will have is to stand by and when forest goes on one of his "its hard work, I understnd your pain" speeches he can run up and wipe away the over flowing shit .....

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT TEXAS...


this wasen't my idea..but think it is a good one..mentalhealthrn said i should blog on what we love about texas...and as for me...the thing i love most about texas is:....the clouds...we have the best damn clouds in the world...I can't tell you how many times I have been driving in my truck and spotted some glorious looking cloud and will just pull over and get out, lean my chubby ass up against the truck and just cloud watch...people used to stop and ask me if everthing was ok, did I have truck trouble, etc. but by now they all know Jackie is just cloud watching...(she's crazy you know)...and one other think i like about texas...the texan's ...we are a special breed of people...sometimes that is not a good thing..but most of the time...its wonderful...big hearts..

MEXICAN ARMY LANDS IN TEXAS


UNARMED TROOPS ARRIVE IN SAN ANTONIO TO HELP CARE FOR EVACUEES..
SAN ANTONIO...For the first time in 163 years, the Mexican army invaded San Antonio. This time no one complained...
A long line of trucks and troop carriers bearing 50 unarmed Mexican soldiers arrived Thursday afternoon at Kelly-usa on a humanitarian mission to aid thousands of of victims of Hurricane Katrina.
It is the first time Mexican troops have operated north of the rio grande since the Mexican war of 1846-48..and it marks the army's first appearance in San Antonio since a brief take-over in 1842 after the Texas Revolution..

some where in hell....Santa Anna is laughing his ass off

STUFF FROM THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS


my favorite paper, of all times
small little blurb aobut montana officials approved a plan that will allow hunters to kill up to 50 bison that leave Yellowstone national park, the state's first hunt of bison in 15 years...
well, im tore two ways about that..hate to see them get kilt.but if they are going to kilt them...let the indians do it...have a lottery where they pick some indians from the bison hunting indians and let them shoot them and keep the meat and fur...makes better sense than a bunch of rednecks with m-13's...

WATCHDOG SAYS YAHOO HELPED CHINA FIND DISSIDENT
Beijing--A media watchdog group has accused american internet giant Yahoo of helping the chinese government track down a "cyber-dissent" who was sentenced to 10 years in prison on charges of e-mailing state secrets. Reporters Without Borders said Yahoo provided information that enabled the Chinese government to link sensitive materials found on the internet to the personal computer of reporter Shi Tao. Yahoo's legal department in Beijing didn't respoind to inquiries about the case...

yahoo is becoming a real prick and asskissing up to the chinese is making me sick...
there was another article not long ago that i blogged about where yahoo was working with the chinese government to find people on yahoo..

OUR BRAINS MAY BE A WORK IN PROGRESS
Washington--
Controversial study suggests gray matter isn't done evolving...That the defining feature of humans--our large brains..contineued to evolve as recently as 5,800 years ago, and may be doing so today.........
ther is much more in the article but the first thing i thought of ..was..living proof of that....because if anyones brain is still evolving..its ole forest gump's...5 years ago he couldnt even spell president..now he are one...

MORE REASONS WHY TEXAN'S ARE FAT FAT FAT..
WHAT'S COOKIN' AT THE STATE FAIR OF TEXAS
Awesome bread pudding wrap...wrapped in tortilla with rum sauce and fried
chicken tender'n biscuit..fried chicken and biscuit sandwich
country fried pork chop sandwich
fried apple taco
fried coconut coated pineapple
fried italian meatballs
fried pbj and banana sandwich
fried nutter nana sandwich
fried texas crab cakes
vegas fried ice cream
and all the other regular fried stuff...and dipped in batter and fried..
that's enough to still your heart..

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO......


MONTY ROCK III?
The guy that played Blue on High Chaparel.
Loudon Wainwright III?
CAPUCINE
The guy that played Adam on Bonanza
Shelly Winters
Chris Lemmon
Hugh O'Brian
Barbara Steele, remember her..she played the female vampire in all the old vampire movies in the 60's and 70's
I started to put down George Hamilton, then realized i really didnt give a shit
Joe Pesci
Mia Farrow
John Goodman
David Keith
Debra Winger and Glynis Johns....

GUN MONKEYS....BY VICTOR GISCHLER


I was in caritas here in west..which is like a salvation army store..but smaller..i get lots of good stuff there..bought a brand new leather purse yesterday for $3..but the best thing I got was a paperback for .25. The title of it is Gun Monkeys...well, i had to buy it..this is what is on the back of the book..
"shoot first.....explain later..."
"Charlie Swift just pumped three .38-caliber bullets into a dead polar bear in his taxidermist girlfriend's garage. But he's a gun-monkey, and no one can blame him for having an itchy trigger finger. Ever since he drove down the Florida Turnpike with a headless body in the trunk of a Chrysler, then took down four cops, Charlie's been running hard through the sprawling sleaze of central Florida. And to make matters worse, he's holding on to somce crooked paperwork that a lot of people would like to take off his hands.Now, with his boss disappearing and his friends dropping like flies, Charlie has his work cut out just to survive.If he wants to keep the money and get the girl too, he's relly going to have to go ape.".

review of book Nomintated for the edgar award for best first novel, Gun Monkeys is a fast, furious collage of wit and wiseguys, violence and thrills---and a full-throttle run through the dark side of the sunshine state.

I dont know about ya'll but doesnt that sound like our boy sooner????
I think i will read it and then send it to babs, she can send it on if anyone wants to read it...but it sound too funny for me to pass up...i mean really GUN MONKEYS....

GENERIC STUFF

i buy a lot of generic stuff, like canned veggies, cereal,spices,tea etc..but when it comes to my ass i dont skimp...my ass deserves the very best..charmin only..

CHENEY TOLD TO .....................

i was watching news late(early in am) and only saw this one time. cheny was in new orleans doing HIS version of the south shall rise again speach and someone in the crowd yelled out "go fuck yourself mr. cheney"..i laughed so hard i nearly fell out of my chair..so far only saw it played that one time and no one else has mentioned it but made my day...think the guy showed him to much respect by calling him mr. cheney..should have said "go fuck yourself asshole"...

Thursday, September 08, 2005

ANOTHER REASON WHY I LOVE WEST


i have been in here since 3pm and left about 6pm, went to video store and turned in my video's and went to get the dallas paper..no purse..shit...where is my purse..so drove back to video store, no purse..then came back to the library and it is still sitting on the top of the computer..place is packed with kids, old folks, etc. and no one touched my purse...mentioned that to the volunteer that is working that everyone is so honest..and how great that is...she laughed and said, more likely they were afraid to touch it cause they knew it was yours and knew that you would kick their ass if they messed with your purse...
dont you just love small towns where the reputation you made 30 years ago still stands...

BEST TENNIS MATCH IN YEARS


i watched letterman last night and right after they had the results of the us open from earlier that day..the game was still going on between agassi and blake.the first 2 sets were won by blake, then agassi won the next 2 sets, then they were tied for the 5th set and then went into tie breaker...agassi won it 75..but it was the best game i have seen in years...not since macenro, conners, borg were playing have i seen such a great game..here is agassi at 35 still kicking ass...plus the kid is 25 and had spent the past year over coming an accident where he was partially parlalyzed, plus his father had died from cancer...so there was a lot of immotions to urge them on...man it was a good game...i wanted both of them to win...such a great great game.

PRE-SEASON ...RESULTS FOR TACKY JACKY

my results for the preseason are 38 wins, 26 loses, and one push....so for the preseason im up $90..now if i would just quit betting with my heart for the cowboys i might have a winning season ....go boys..

MORE PBS STUFF


i was watching mr. rogers the other afternoon and learned how to make erasers..man was that cool...
so anyhow, im watching pbs the other night and there is a show on willa cather...talked about how she was having turmoil and went to the edge of the desert to find herself..to listen to her inner voices, to find inspiration, etc..you know ..get her shit together..so that got me to thinking about my going off to the edge of the desert and trying to find my inner self, listen to the voices..get my shit together...so to speak...well, i may be in texas..but there isnt a desert close by...im in central texas...so no desert...so i got in my truck last night and drove to the edge of town..out toward tokio, texas...pulled the truck over..got out my blanket, pillow and 6-pack of dublin dr.pepper and got comfy...was going to commune with nature and find myself...



well, what i found was a fucking red ant pile...9,783 fucking mosquiteo's, gnats up the ass, and a dead something that had been ripping for about a week..when i jumped up off the blanket to get away from the ants is when i found the stinging nettles..which led me to falling into the dead thing...so i had not only found myself, i had found myself in a fucking mess...the only inner voice i heard was my own, telling me to get the fuck back to town and dont forget the damn dr.pepper's..
so after a nice hot bath, followed by a calomine wash down, 2 dr.peppers and a dish of blue bell ice cream..i had discovered something important...getting your shit together is not important if you not only cant lift it, you have no place to take it..
so for all you people that need a mantra like mine..its ommmmmmmmmidontgiveafuckkkkkkkkk...

OTHER WEST NEWS

donations are being accepted for hurrican katrina..so far we have 60 survivors here..well a little place called latham..has a church camp and they have room for 500 but only 60 came so far..we collected so much that by today they are not taking any more clothes, etc. as we have to place to store it before they can send it off...pretty cool..
the little town of tours is having meetings to discuss Trans-Texas Corridor. if it goes thru it will go by axtell and east of the Leroy-Tours area and they are hoping up and down pissed...lots of farm acerage out there and they are raising hell...
we had 2 births 3 deaths, i marriage, and 4 birthday announcements...plus 50 years ago this week we had 7 births...west football team is 1-1 and play lorena this friday...hope they win..we lost our 2nd game 35-14..ugh...we are going to have a domino tournament on the 10 at west columbus hall.the lady trogans defested connaly in volley ball..we have great girls teams in all sports here..better than the boys teams most years..have a new listing for house..2-3bed. frame house on 3 lots with nice trees for $30,000...houses are really cheap here...4 garage sales...the greek resturant is looking for a waitress..$2.50 an hour plus tips...which reminds me, my 16 year old granddaughter jamie is working as a cook afterschool and weekends at the really nice spittoon cafe...she started out washing dishes and just stuck it out till she worked her way up...she gets paid welland is learning how to be a chef..which is something she is interested in...when she and the other 3 granddaughters were little they would come to grandma's during the time they were off for christmas. and we would bake cookies...cho.chip, peanut butter, and sugar cookies that they would ice.we also made gingerbread women...i started that when there were just the 2 oldesst girls jenny and nicole and lord the mess...i would still be finding green icing on the ceilings and wall boards for months after xmas..and they would mix all the food colors together and make the ugliest purpleish black icing and ice everything with it...some of the sugar cookies were so thick and hard you could use them for door stops..but their daddys ate them all and thought they were delicious..then they got to the age where they had so many things to do that we havent done it in a few years...were going to do it last year and then they went skiing for the holidays...so maybe this year.some of my best memories..they also liked coming to granny's for holloween(my favorite holiday) as i always had the best candy or made great stuff for them..made s'mores one year, cupcakes, brownies, taffy, all kinds of stuff that i would make instead of buying...plus i dressed up in weird costumes..one year i dressed up as a nun..freaked them out...that was scarrier than when i dressed up as a vampire and that was scarry..

WESTFEST ATTENDANCE SURPASSES 22,000

















there were fewer people here this year than last but can be attributed to the gas prices and hurricane katrina..but still all in all it went well...total:22,408
FRIDAY NIGHT:2,702
SATURDAY: 2,186
SUNDAY:7,520
but that is still alot of people for our little town..They collected $1,800 at the polka mass for hurrican survivors...
but here is the impressive stats...food consumed: 1,650 hamburgers,1,050 corny dogs, 1,100 lbs. of french fries,1,480 armadillo eggs, 600 armadillo tails, 3,800 kolaches, 550 bbq sandwiches, 750 turkey legs,1,500 potato pancakes, 250 baked potatoes, 1,150 lbs. of spudzillas, 8,895 sausage sandwiches, sausage sticks and sausage and kraut plates, 2, 775 roasted iars of corn, 1,200 snowcones, 2,400 bottles of water, 1,500 servings of cotton candy,860 servings of Bavarian nuts, 300 lbs.of corn for kettle popcorn, 55 lbs.of pork rinds, 400loaves of bread, 193 skunk eggs, 3 1/2 cases of fried green tomatoes, 30 gallons of fried pickles, 30 lbs. of fried squash, 375 ice cream floats, and 300 lbs of sausage products, 40 gallons of funnel cake mix, 300 rosettes, 150 gyros, 128 steaks on a stick, 700 super nachos, 150 dozen tamales, 520 frijitas and 55 strudels...you see how they managed not to tell you how much beer was drank...lots...tons...a whole bunch..many, many kegs...pevo was drank by all..'cept me...(is that drank or drunk???)