I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

MESSAGE FROM THE GODDESS

The Goddess uses me occasionally to deliver her message to the good people of the planet earth...the message? She's pissed.As you know the Goddess sees all and knows all...and she is not happy with humans..she doesn't think we have evolved far enough down the food chain to make discissions for ourselves. She is thinking of bipping us DOWN the food chain in the hopes that we will be eaten by the Bengal Tigers as they are becoming extinct and she thinks they deserve to live more than we do..the best I can gather from her screaming and raging is...we suck...She is concerned that with famine,wars, natural disasters,crimes against children, people in positions of power abusing them for personal gain,greed, crimes against women, diseases that are capable of distroying nations,hatred for their fellow man over such unimportant things as religion, race, color and creed, and just basic bad behavior that the President of the greatest nation in her world is more concerned with making marriage between same sex couples against the law than he is with making his country a safer, better place to live.
Her exact words were: "WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID, HUMANS?"
At one point she was seriously thinking about stepping in and bipping our ex-cheerleader President into the solar system of the Planet Dipshit.....She says she doesn't want to take it out of our hands as she made us smart enough to make these discissions on our own...but she is also concerned that we all have lost our way and maybe she does need to step in and start removing some people from their postions of power..with a cosmic kick in the ass.
Right before she left in a poof of space dust that vagely smelled like rain with a pinch of honeysuckle...she had one last word of advice for us..."VOTE"....she also said I was doing a great job and that I needed a raise....well, I made that last part up, but thought hey, mabye she reads my blog and will see that and...damn, where did that lightning bolt come from?

10 comments:

BriteYellowGun said...

I love this! And you should get a raise! Yep, humanity has lost it's collective mind. Who needs all this 6/6/6 bullshit when we already elected (well...not "We" as in ME, I'd have never voted for that jackass) the Antichrist into the most powerful position in the world!

Unknown said...

I don't think the Goddess will have to bip us, we're killing each other off fast enough as it is!

Unknown said...

Tell her to go ahead and take the dipshit. Better all around for us.

Yes, vote. That is the key.

Anonymous said...

I hope I'm wearing clean underwear when all this happens.

apositivepessimist said...

You had me till it was mentioned about "the greatest nation in the world"...*cackly snort*..."no we are!"...I deduce that because we have more paid public holidays.

Maybe the goddess needs a hitman. ORRR a texas ranger-ess. Go get him Jackiesue.

Was there a pot of gold at the end of that lightning strike?...well fuck now I remember it's the rainbow...which ties in nicely with the gay marriage bit.

grinning @ debbie's comment...I hope I'm wearing no underwear. Very nice legs btw.

apositivepessimist said...

okay I will try and remember to put the yank terms in [ ]’s in future posts...sometimes I do remember.

scoobs = one of our many terms for a joint.
chookies = plural of chooks [heh] and chooks = chickens.

And yes quit sniffing the glue...here have a scoob instead ;)

Nit Wit said...

Most male cheerleaders are gay or it's the only way they will ever be around women without paying.
There still seems to be a lot of edivence that the Gump was never elected.
Gotta watch out when hinting to the boss that you want a raise, she may zap you and hire an illegal alien to take your place for bargan wage.
The truck from hell has gone off to it's reward. ;(

Nancy said...

You can be kinda scary sometimes. hehehehe

Scottish Toodler said...

You gotta get in the Union before she will give you a raise... damn lightening bolts...

Scottish Toodler said...

You gotta get in the Union before she will give you a raise... damn lightening bolts...