I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I WOULD RATHER EAT SPAM THAN GET SPAM

I'm not the only one that gets spam...everybody gets spam...spam,spam spam,spam..fucking spam.... Do we all get the same generic spam or is our spam just for us and us alone?..If that is the case...they don't fucking know jackshit...or in this case Jackie's shit.. Because according to my spam...I need a bigger dick and pills to make it work better..and If my new and bigger dick stays hard for longer than 4 hours I need to see a Dr....let me tell you folks..if I had a dick, and it stayed hard for 4 hours I would be running around showing it to everyone in the city of West...'Look at my dick...have you ever seen a dick so big and hard before in your life?.. don't you wish you had my dick?now that's a dick for you..."...I have always known that women do things bigger and better than men...and I would have the evidence right there in my hands to prove it..a bigger better dick..and it stays hard for 4 hours..beat that..er.. top that...uh...well, you know what I mean.Another reason why I know that the spammers don't know me is they keep trying to fix me up with older Christian men.One was even for older black Christian men...First of all you moronic assholes..I'm a pagan...and second of all, if I'm going to be out there dating..I wouldn't want some ole fart who voted republican and goes to Church..thanks but no thanks. Plus the Goddess has promised me first dibs at Antonio Banderas when he divorce's ole what's her face...
The spammers also think I need a new car,a new house,a boat and insurance for all of them...They also seem to think I need more education...and in the words of Pink Floyd..we don't need no more edukashun...leave us kids alone...They want to send me to school to study real estate,fashion design,interior design,and criminal law...They want to give me free stuff too. Fabreeze freshners, House of Olay face cleansers(Junebugg says they are really good, and when I decided to try them out..they quit sending me the spam),lap tops, XBOXES,Ipods, DVD's,movies,cell phones,magazine subscriptions,free meals at Denney's, Red Lobster,Black Eyed Peas and Steak and Ale..Trips to Disneyland, and every resort in the U.S. E-Bay wants to give me free tips, and Pogo wants me to sign up to their special club that is only $5 a month, when I can play there for free.I get offered work of all sorts, typing,computer jobs, being a store shopper, and selling everything from houses to livestock...The most amazing thing they want from me...is my opinion...are these people fucking crazy..???? asking for my opinion...yeah, that will work real well for them.You want to know what I think..I think you should stop sending me all this fucking spam. Speaking of black Christian suitors, I did get a sweet email from a black Christian gentleman in Nirobi that is willing to cut me in on a great money making plan..all I have to do is give him my bank account number, I'll let you know how that turns out..
I was sort of ok with all the different types of spam...then today I got one that made me a tad nervous...it's for a burial plot, but just to show how little they know about ole Jackiesue.....it's a plot for two...Who sees the irony in that one....
fuckme till spam comes out my ass....

p.s...fucking blogger won't let me upload, down load or put pictures on my blog..fuck you guys..

14 comments:

Nit Wit said...

I have high speed cable by Adelphia that I got almost no spam. It has now been sold to Time Warner and I am suddenly getting spam again even though they haven"t offically taken over.
That's the 8th owner of my local cable in 12 years or so.
I only seem to get the you won this so give us your info and we might give it to you. I also keep getting offered jobs by E-BAY. I suppose Time Warner will try to get me to use AOL again. There I got all the spam that made me think the saw me as a limp little wiener who lived for Victoria's Secret underwear.
Kinda miss the Victoria's Secret adds though. :)

Nit Wit said...

I can see it. Jackiesue swaggers up to the counter in the hardware store, wips it out and asks to see Gary. :)
I think that was his name.)

Cyberoutlaw said...

Oh yes, we're all getting the same spam all right. Somewhere out there is an ambitious spammer who thinks everyone is a bald headed fat bastard who can't get it up. And even if that were true, who in their right mind would actually buy genuine cures for baldness, lose weight overnight pills, and monster woody enhancements from some dude who doesn't even have a real email address?

Big Pissy said...

yep! Same spam as you....

annoying!!!

Unknown said...

{{{{{{Blush}}}}}}}
Jackie Sue mentioned me in a post. BY NAME!!!! Does this mean that I'm famous or imfamous?

Jackie, if you get a dick, you gotta name it. All men name their dicks. My ex called his "Oscar". He claimed it was because it was a weiner, but I swear it was because he was full of bologna.

Cassandra said...

I just got spam today with the title of "impress your friends with a degree". WTF?
At least it was different than the usual penis enhancement spam...

TheWayfarer said...

*ROFPMPLMAO*
I hate spam too.
Why haven't they come up wit designer dope for the ladies to increase vaginal sensitivity, etc?
Why don't they pimp that instead?
You could make a king's ransom in stand up comedy with this stuff!
I come here for the laughs and the insights & you've never let me down! You'd think if they wanted your opinion, they'd just drop by.

Unknown said...

Spam in a can
Spam in a man
Spam in email
Span by the tail.

Dumb, huh?

Tina said...

LMAO! Spam about Viagra, Cialis and penis enhancements, dude I even see that lame commercial on the tv...u seen it? The guy is jumping into the pool with a big dumbass smile on his face. And what makes me laugh the most is the fact that they say...If you sustain a hard-on for more than 24 hrs, see a doctor....WTF I find that quite interesting and funny, I dunno

lol

Tina said...

On a side note....speaking of SPAM...the kind that ya eat....well I tried to give a can of it to a bum years ago....he wouldn't take it

that's pretty bad lol

Anonymous said...

Yep spam is a bitch..That is why I have a yahoo account for my email (the junk goes there..except for your jokes ..those are cute and I send them out to other friends). I have wordpress for my blog cause it lets me load photos everytime.

P.S.
Have you heard from Nancy? I'm worried about her...she hasn't blogged in a few days.

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JBlue said...

I hate that spam offering me bigger male parts. I don't want male parts on my body, big or small, thank you so much.

Granny said...

Spam is why I use that horrid word verification thing with the letters no on can read or hear.

It doesn't help with email but it keeps it out of the comment box (see above)