I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Saturday, March 24, 2007

BADA BIP...BADA BING....THE ANSWERS ARE:


Before the Goddess answers your questions she has a request...Babs the most beloved mini Goddess is in need of our prayers...she is going in Monday to have an operation on her right eye...it's not life threatning but I believe in covering all the bases..so I ask that you all say a little prayer( a lot of little prayers) and light a few candles for our friend. You don't have to pray to the Goddess, you can pray to Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Allah, or Fred...it's just important that the prayers are out there...thanks...


Ok.........now to business...You are not making this easy on me are you....but I will please you all..
To the Double Decker Bus guy...what a great idea you have...and he's wondering if he will be successful in his attempt to get'er going...I think that you need some publicity..make a video of you, the bus, your family and your dreams..put it on u-tube...then write Jimmy Kimmel...on ABC..he's a sucker for this kind of stuff..You go on the Kimmel show..and your golden..
Tex, Tex, Tex.....now you know that Edward Scissor Hands is a character in a movie..he has no need to scratch his ass...but I have it on good authority that Winona Ryder was more than eager to tend to Johnny Depp's every wish...even the ass wiping part...
Mimi is mad because food that she needs to eat doesn't taste good and things she loves taste bad..Didn't we cover this last week??? This is Loki's territory...he's in charge of food flavors..I would have every thing taste like Blue Bell ice cream(rocky road)..but he wants everything good to taste like crap...just to mess with you humans..he gets such great amusement from watching you shovel in broccoli and act like your being poisoned...
Tina is a klutz she says and has broken several things including a picture of the boss's kids...She has also sprained her ankle...It sounds like to the Goddess that you are punishing yourself for some undetected deed..
Maybe you're boss did something to you and it's your way of 'gettin' even'...??? unconsciously that is..self injuries can be a way of punishing yourself...(I read that some place)
Jan is wondering how many people will be killed in the first 6 months after the governor of Texas passes the 'shoot first ask questions later' law...I don't have a head count yet, but I am hoping that right now all the women that are being abused by their boyfriends or
husbands are out buying guns ...and within a week of the law passing...are taking care of business..if you know what I mean...
Buddhagirl wants to know how she will make another 2 weeks till spring break without throttling someone..same way you do every year my sweet girl..that extra glass of wine before bed...
The Most Holy Sooner has a series of questions..wants to know why the phone always rings when he is in the bathroom....? That's the trickster's doing...and if there is no one on the end of the line...it's Loki himself...laughing his ass off at you..
He also wants to know if Bush's exit strategy will go through Iran and if Cheney eats live babies while drunk on Tequila...Bush still doesn't have an exit strategy...it's hard to have an exit strategy built on lies..and I don't think he will be in office long enough to go anywhere except before the court ...and the Goddess wouldn't allow babies to be eaten alive by anyone...Cheney does whack off to pictures of the Bush twins while on Tequila...
Sooner wants to know if he sneezes, farts, coughs and burps at the same time will he explode...the answer is no....but if you climax at the same time..all bets are off.
The tooth fairy is not my department...although I do believe that when he used to leave you money in exchange for a tooth...he gave your pee pee a little tap..
Apos, wants to know if there is a such thing as reincarnation and what will she come back as if there is...yes, Apos there is reincarnation....you will come back the next time as the Dahli Lama..my blessings on you...
BBC: I answer the questions around here human..no matter your age and wisdom...even the Yellowdog doesn't dare answer my questions...and you're wrong anyhow..nana nana boo boo..
Tina_gueden wants to know why bad things happen to good people and why can't karma be instaneous...Bad things happen to good people to make them more appreciative of the good things when they come...and Karma has to work it's way around...have to give you humans time to change your ways...and do better...
Scottish Toodler wants to know what is going to happen to her..should she stay or should she go(isn't that an old rock and roll song of you humans?) I see great things for you S.T. your first book will do well, but your second book will kick some ass..and it doesn't matter if you stay where you are at, go back to La or move to another city..where you are doesn'thave anything to do with your creative ability...but then..you know that..and as for the where abouts of Sooner..? He is swilling beer and watching some sport on tv where a small group of very tall humans are chasing each other up and down some arena..no guns are involved...Plus...Rowe is on his way out..along with Gonzales...and several other top of the line players in Bush's little party..
The Wise Nit Wit wants to know if we can afford to keep the current administration in power after all they have done to your country for another 22 months..In the words of the Yellowdog....'FUCK NO'...
Costa Rica, needs to lay off the bong water..
The Wiseman The Rube wants to know if they will make alcohol that is good for you humans and won't make your heads hurt...of course...one glass of red wine with dinner.....(mead is good too)
RevJim wants to know : is reality relative or is it absolute and can it be both and at the same time...it can be both....and at the same time...but it can't be universal....(takes small curtsy)
Allan wants to know which is correct:Good things come to those who wait..or He who hesitates is lost...and can you have it both ways...They both are correct and yes you can always have it both ways...always...
Sling also mourns our good friend Larry Bud Melman..who is responsible for 'sandwitch on a stick'.
Don't weep for Larry...he's backstage with Loki at a Stones concert...
Carin wants to know why smoking meat makes it last longer but smoking is bad for your health...Smoking meat may make it last longer..but not really all that good for you...and if you doubt smoking is bad for you..go get an x-ray of your lungs...soon..
Cheesemeister...never be a fraid to question the Goddess...she thinks highly of you...ask away..
That's all the wisdom for today children....until next Thursday/Friday ..same place, same station, same channel.....my blessings on you and yours...

21 comments:

yellowdog granny said...

to the late comers:
cyberoutlaw:wants to know if there is a special place in Hell for microsoft...well, I know there is a speical place in Hel with my sister Goddess Hel,who says she has been moving furniture around to make space for them all....that help?
and Josh: wants to know when making an important decision what is the most important thing to consider...
that's easy...who benefits...who does it hurt..and does the benefits out weight the pain someone will have to suffer for your action...?

apositivepessimist said...

uhm have I already sent my comment on this...I was doing like stooff and still had this page up.

apositivepessimist said...

oh okay maybe not, it waass...

uhm does this Dahli dude get to have sex? oooh perhaps I get to be bum chums with Richard Gere.

Cheesemeister said...

I am humbled to know that the Goddess thinks highly of me. But believe me, no-one thinks highly of Death Cheese!
Loki and Hel deal with them often in The Netherworld. They are my punishment for all my sins in my past and present life. Or maybe blog trolls are the punishment for those. Most of the members of Death Cheese are semi-illiterate and in spite of their posturing are pretty innocuous. Except where The Cheesemeister's computer is concerned.
http://sphereofmusic.blogspot.com/2007/03/axe-man-axes-cheesemeisters-computer.html
Forgive me, I've always gotten through life by making up ridiculous stories that only I understand. I used to post links to them on my Random Thoughts blog, but then the troll would follow the links and piss me off with his dumb comments. So I just don't aggravate myself that way anymore.

cyberoutlaw said...

Good luck to Babs. My mom has had eye surgery several times. It's always a hold your breath moment for us, but according to her it's no big deal these days.

zero said...

oh, that vampire song-

it was done by a band called
type o negative.

i will send you a disc of the song if you would like me to when i send you the university.

(no i have not forgotten, i am just a lazy ass)

BBC said...

Not that I look for such things, but in the picture at the top of your blog I see a puppy's face.

And I like that Goddess with the boob, God loves boobs, kissy, kissy. LOL

Wishing Bab's good luck.

the rube said...

red wine! that might turn me into a frenchman.

i didn't get to where i am today by acting like a frenchman.

i asked ganesh to bless babs.

the rube said...

red wine! that might turn me into a frenchman.

i didn't get to where i am today by acting like a frenchman.

i asked ganesh to bless babs.

yellowdog granny said...

apos: I don't know why you can't have sex as the Dahli Lama..you be the boss, you can do what ever you want to...yeah, getting to hang with Richard Gere wouldn't be a hardship...
cheesemeister: ahhh being goofy is a great help...doing goofy, being goofy, thinking goofy...yeah...goofy...
cyberoutlaw: that's for the good thougths for babs...she goes in tomorrow am...very very early..she's mungo pissed ..
zero:yup..I'm waiting...watched resident evil:apocalypse...loved that one..women kicking asses and zombies..what more could you ask for..also watched house of flying dragons..which i loved..but so sad...i cried...sigh*
bbc:did you see the people praying?
the rube: drink american wine...the french don't have a manopoly on wine..you can even drink some austrailan wine..or wine made in texas...of course it tastes like beer..but it's wine..
thanks for the prayers for babs..

tina_guedea said...

oh I know but I suppose I can still fantasize about instant karma and the incredibly painful ways it could pan out...lol
p.s. tis Guedea! ;.)
which = pix
Thanks Goddess!

Allan said...

Nice channeling! I'm still confused though.

carina said...

Good vibes to Babs...a good friend has gad a couple of laser eye surgeries, not life threatening but sure scary! I went and held her hand the first time but couldn't watch....

BBC said...

Nope, I don't see the people praying. And praying is a waste of time anyway. God helps those that helps themselves and others.

texlahoma said...

Man! I'll try to make my next question more Godess-worthy, I didn't know you had to answer so many.

yellowdog granny said...

tina_guedea: oops sorry..can't read my own writing..Karma has to work it's way around...it all works out in the end..trust me..
allan: hel, you're confused?...I stay confused...but I find that successful for me..
carina: yup..she's doing fine..I on the other hand almost had a break down worrying about her.damn!
bbc: I can't belive you can't see the two people praying..laying on their right side staring out at you with their hands in prayer postion...dang boy...you're a little off..
that's the difference between you and me..I pray to a goddess, she loves prayers...and I also thing they are powerful...a little action along with the prayers doesn't help either..but prayers are important...I'll pray for you to see the two praying..
Tex: it takes the Goddess many hours to answer the questions..especially if they are tricky one's...but it's fun...

Josh said...

Thanks for the response, I'll try to be more timely next time. Also, it's looking like everyone's prayers paid off for Babs.

soonerfan78 said...

Thank you most wise oracle of the goddess, I appreciate your friendship and admire your wisdom.

I will investigate the "Tooth Fairy theory" of sexual torture by regressing into the naive scrawny 6 year old version of Sooner via alcohol and sensory deprivation.

I will report my findings as long as they do not reveal any of my "shortcomings".

The next time I will try to ask a question that will make The Goddess pause to consider her answer,.... and.... you are a great freind to us all, you Bluebonnet sniffing West By Gawd Good-Un, you!

By the way, a "Good-Un" in our native slang translates to a keeper, one that you don't want to piss off or hurt in any way.

Jac is a Good-Un, to us all.

Tina said...

Interesting - I think you may be on to something regarding punishing myself subconsciously for an undetected deed - guess i've been really bad since im still a klutz this week (LOL) but really that is an interesting thought....

yellowdog granny said...

JOSH: I AM THINKING ABOUT DOING A BLOG WHERE IT IS JUST ASK THE GODDESS AND ANSWERS BY THE GODDESS...THAT WAY ANYONE CAN ASK ANYTHING ANYTIME...HMMMMM
YUP..OUR GIRL DID GOOD..
SOONER: BLESS YOU MY CHILD...
TINA: ACTUALLY I LEARNED THIS FROM MY OLD BOYFRIEND CHUCK WHO BELIVES IN ESCHATOLOGY...SAYS ALL BODY ILLS ARE A DIRECT RESULT FROM AN EVENT IN YOUR LIFE OR AN ACTION YOU SEE, HEAR, FEEL ETC..'LIKE IF YOU HAVE BAD BACK IT MEANS YOU HAVE MANY BURDENS TO CARRY AND IF YOU GET RID OF THE BURDENS..YOU GET RID OF THE BACK TROUBLE..MAKES SENSE IN A WARPED SORT OF WAY..HE'S THE ONE THAT WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME WHEN I BROKE SOMETHING OR TRIPPED AND HURT MYSELF..THAT I WAS PUNISHING MYSELF FOR SOMETHING I DID...SOMETIMES HE WAS RIGHT...

Tina said...

wow interesting indeed - and now im off to doc tomo lol