I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

MY APARTMENT SMELLS LIKE A HEAD SHOP

and I like it...
I went to town yesterday to Old Corner Drug to stock up on more vitamins, diabetes pricks, and advice from Kirk...Kirk's the man..Went to $ store for pots for my plants, and found some new incense...oh man..I love it..I got coconut, jasmine, lavender, vanilla, cherry and an assorted package...had bought a ruby colored vase for $1 at the $ store..and put all the incense in it..so now the place smells like a head shop...It's a good thing..Took the truck to get her legal, with tags and inspection sticker..while I was getting the truck inspected they checked my 2 left tires as they kept going low..then they tried to sell me a brake job...I told them not to let my age and tits fool them...that I knew the difference between a snow job and a blow job..and my brakes were fine..I think they are still picking them selves up off the floor..I love myself some times..before that the sales man was telling me his life story(I have that kind of face that people want to talk to...even if my eyes are glazed over.)and he said he wasn't used to working with customers and it was difficult for him...I said "That's because we're all assholes. I used to work with the public and as I got older I found out it was easier to say fuck you than it was to say thank you, so I quit.."....
Ok, the big question...do I say these things because I can't help myself..or do I say them to fuck with people?...or both...hm....there lies the rub..
I have started this post 4 different times..I had linked together a great funny post on these 2 articles I found on Wal-Mart(house of satan)....one was about how Wal-Mart gave 10% to charaties, like United Way, Salvation Army, Teachers of the Year Programs, etc...thought it was very interesting and liked reading that about Wal-Mart..especially since they are known for fucking over their employees...no insurance, etc..
But the best article about Wal-Mart was about their countersuit against Julie Roehm who they fired for:
Ms Roehm sat in the lap of Draft FCB executive Tony Weisman and ate from his plate during a dinner for advertising consultants, at a time when Draft FBC was seeking the Wal-Mart contract. The firm won the account but was stripped of it days later, after Wal-Mart fired Ms. Roehm and Mr. Womack(her partner in crime).
The two arranged for company-paid travel so they could be together.
The pair sought employment with Draft FBC while it competed for the Wal-Mart contract.
Draft FBC sent cases of expensive vodka to Ms. Roehm. Wal-Mart said an e-mail from Mr. Weisman to Draft FBC chairman Howard Draft suggested sending Effen vodka to Ms. Roehm, noting "she put away a bottle" during one night out.
Ms. Roehm supplied DraftFBC with confidential Wal-Mart sales information and advised the firm on how to structure its proposal.....
Now there's the Wal-Mart we all know and love....

For a little local news....Governor Good Hair passed the self-defense bill and it will take effect Sept.1
After Sept.1st...if you come to Texas..you might want to take to heart our state motto...'DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS.'....

fuckme till I reload....

14 comments:

BBC said...

Oh fuck.

Too funny.

I was a master mechanic for many years. But I hated up selling to people like some employers wanted me to.

I always quit those jobs.

If a customer had tits I treated her just as I would any customer.

Na, I treated her better. I'm not on this planet to fuck a woman on a car repair.

However.... :-)

Pixie said...

I go through lots of incense too, I also love the wax tarts too thats you melt MMM some of them smell good enought to eat!

soonerfan78 said...

DAMN...
I will walk softly and carry a big stick as I get my head blown off the next time I go to Gainesville.

Good Hair is a real piece of work, a talking head that has worn out his strokability factor. I figure a Hollywood star or a sports mogul will be the next governor of Texas, but I drink a lot and I do not have a clue of Texas politics, let alone my own city politics.

So, don't shoot if I come to see you, I want to drink another Dublin Dr. Pepper.
luv, sooner

Cheesemeister said...

I enjoy the smell of a good head shop in the morning.
I stole your "trailer park" graphic. I have good use for it myself!

apositivepessimist said...

yer a classic.

sink sink socks said...

Regardless of whatever additions or changes have been made to the original structure, the analytic point of view bete_de remains unchanged...

Nit Wit said...

Now don't you know that you shouldn't scare those poor honest guys down to the garage? You’re going to give those nightmares then they might fall asleep under a car and have an accident.
All those advertising firm use job offers and bribes to try to get the inside track on big accounts.
I wonder how many people will be allowed to come within range of Good Hair still packin. Gonna be a big savings in the court and prison system budgets.

Normy said...

My guy is a mechanic... whenever he screws anybody over, it's usually the dealership because they are so famous for shorting him on hours.

I am happy as hell for Texas, more states need to follow suit. Hopefully Hillary won't come into power and try to take all our guns away.

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

I love you Granny.

...that I knew the difference between a snow job and a blow job...

Omigod, that's classic. I must use that line next time someone tries to swindle me at Jiffy Lube or Good Year. However, I might not want to say that in Texas or I might end up with a bullet between the eyes because it might be deemed "threatening."

Guns, God and Gays. The three G's. What a f*cking combination.

buddha_girl said...

Like Heidi, I think the highlight of your post was the snow job, blow job line! CLASSIC!

I don't know why you say those things in public. However, I DO know why I say 'em:

Choose a reason:
1. The effect
2. My stress level's relief is more important than social mores.

the rube said...

yer tougher than me. mention brakes and it scares the shit out of me.

i guess i ran into a few things in my youth.

Josh said...

If I come to Texas to visit the SO, what can I do to keep from getting shot?

yellowdog granny said...

bbc:glad you enjoyed it...
pixie: i love those melty things..I have some of them and the little gobblet types too...I like the smells so much..'
sooner: I'll protect ya...I'll get you a sticker that says 'don't shoot, I was only kidding'..
I can't believe anyone would want to be governor of this state after good hair has moved on...it's fubared to badly..no one will want the job..not even kinky...
cheesemeister:yah, I love the smell of incense..even when it's not lit up...
isn't that a great sign?...i love it
apos:tanks...coming from a classic her ownself...

nitwit:wonder if i could get away with shooting good hair by saying he was making it dangerous for me to live in texas/????? probably not..but might be worth the jail time..
normy:glad you like our little law..you come on down and dodge the bullets from these redneck wackko's..
hmh:I have to admit ...I am a little proud of that one...and it just rolled off my tongue..made it up right on the spot...sometimes i amaze myself..ha
buddhagirl: I have to admit if i held all this stuff in that i say all the time ..i would probably explode...besides..most of it is out of my mouth before i have actually had a chance to think about it..ha
Rube:hell, I don't go fast enough to worry about brakes going out and hitting anyone...how fast can i go in 4/10's of a mile?
josh: tell em your a friend of mine...

Wicked Storm said...

You gotta promise me when I come visit that we will find where willie lives and go to his house. I can't wait!