Life as I once knew it is just a passing memory.
Where do I start?..With the painters..They came yesterday morning and said:"we're going to paint today..so take everything off your porch and move your truck so it doesn't get paint spray on it". So at 9am I bring in all my plants except for the ones on the walkway...all the chimes,the 2 little rattan tables, the indian basket,the 2 bags of birdseed,the 2 rugs,the little catch all chatchas, the broom, my clippers and assorted yard tools,etc etc etc..
Move the truck all the way to the other end of apartments and walk back..5pm..they leave..never having painted my apartment the fuckers..
I move the truck back and go watch my friend Inky and Anessa's son Devon play baseball. They win...15-5..it was cool..This morning, they come back to the apartment and tell me to move the truck again..I remind them that's what they said yesterday..she shrugs her shoulders..not realizing that I am an old lady who had little sleep the night before as 'little asshole' has(well maybe not, but he acted like it) found my old stash of meth and decided he wants to spend the entire night attacking my head, hands, feet and my eyelids during rem sleep..I must have tossed him out of the bed 8-10 times renaming him each time..from 'you little asshole, sonofabitch,little fucker, bastard, and you dirty
all to Annie's amusement..she thinks it's
funny that the new arrival is not finding
his way into my heart..she still rules supreme..and to add
insult to injury..I am now popular...like I need that shit..(where the fuck where you during high
school?)Margaret and Mary come by and visit 3-4 times a day..Seems I am good entertainment for them..They could care less that I don't particularly like people and prefer my own company, besides the fact they seem to find the perfect time to visit during my soap operas..
...Babs and I have talked about this and we think the thing to do is make a sign that says:"watching Soap Operas..knock at your own risk."and hang it on my door..that's the nice version..my personal favorite is "don't fuck with me from 11pm-3pm"
Now don't get me wrong..I like Margaret and Mary
but I like them on my terms..actually that's how I feel about people in general..I sorta like people...if I go shopping..I will say howdy, smile and ask how your doing..I don't really give a shit and expect a 'fine..how about you'..answer..if you start telling me about your hemorrhoids, my eyes will glaze over and I will point to my cart which has a few cans of cat food, mutter, have to go..it's melting..and scoot off..But if I'm in the mood I will listen while you ramble on about the latest achievements of your grand kid(who I know just got out of Highway 6 jail)..smile and say "Bless his heart"..all the clerks in the stores like me cause I come in smiling and making jokes.When they ask me 'how's it going?'..I usually say:"body count is low"....or "for a little ole fat lady, I don't sweat much"...I like making people laugh..but don't want them coming to the house for 'comedy hour'...They don't realize the reason why I'm so happy is they amuse me..but not in my little abode..leave me the fuck alone.
is that wrong?..As if that mattered...I am like Popeye...I yam what I yam...
To top off my day..I wake up to find out they have released Paris(I've been down on everything but the Titanic)Hilton out of jail..is there no justice?...what a silly question...They should make her do 1,000 hours of community service at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen..or send her to my place for a life lesson she will never forget...PLUS:I am so sick and tired of eating tuna fish salads,ground turkey, fish, and chicken ...I find no humor in eating celery sticks,diet, bland, no taste fucking cookies..who's idea was that?...Judas Priest..
I eat oatmeal for breakfast..no more bacon and eggs...no sandwiches,no bread, no potatoes, no rice, pasta...no Dr.Pepper, no Blue Bell Ice cream(which is celebrating there 100th birthday and are having sales all over the place.)and no chips...no kolaches(living in a town with 5 bakeries and the smell of kolaches baking every morning is pure torture..)'nuttin'good...
The way I look at it...if one more person knocks on my door, or the Chinese poison one more food source, or Bush fucks up one more time....I can
not be held responsible for my actions..I have been known to listen to the voices...
fuckme I'll never smile again...