I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......


Blessing on you my children...I am here once again to answer each and every one of your questions..I hope that you all are learning to live in peace and harmony..if not I hope your side wins...

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

......HENRIETTA AND DAM NEWS.......


This happened about a month ago, when Nancy Pelosi became head of da house...I was at the library and commIted to Henrietta (who is a Catholic, prude, republican) about I wish they would impeach Bush and Cheney(sometimes I say shit like this just to watch that one eye of hers twitch and her mouth jerk sideways..She was horrified. She said 'No, then that Nancy woman would be president."..I said 'What would be wrong with that?'...she said she would try to make everyone like the rest of them in San Francisco....homosexuals.'(I swear to the Goddess I am not making this up.) Shaking my head, I said 'Henrietta, no one can make you homosexual, besides I don't have any problems with homosexuals, I don't even think about their sex life.....No more than I think about you and George having sex, I don't think about other people having sex'...longgggggggggggg pause...."Do you think about homosexuals having sex all the time Henrietta?...do you think about people having sex at all? I don't meet someone and think, gee I wonder how he and his wife have sex, does she get on top or does he make her bend over...?" Holy shit!......
I thought she was going to dislocate her jaw and twitch to death...Sh
e snapped her mouth shut so fast and tight I'm surprised he didn't chip her teeth...since then we haven't had any more conversations on homosexuals...Dangit!
Ok, the DAM N
ews....Last Wed. Patients, doctors and advocates gathered in Austin to encourage the Legislature to pass a bill allowing a medical defense to marijuana possession charges..
Yeah, this w
ill happen when Henrietta holds a wine and smokes party for Gays and Lesbians.

'Toke Toke Toke that Cigarette...'

This is a quote from the Points section in the Sunday paper..
"I will not be part of any church that unleashes its clergy to preach that particular individuals or faith groups are damned."---Don Lar
sen, former Pentecostal pastor and ex-U.S. Army chaplain, who converted to Wicca after witnessing religious strife in Iraq.
Yes, lets hear it for the Wicca's and Pagans...

Report:Infant mortality rate at a 10-year high..
The inf
ant mortality rate in Dallas County is the highest it's been in 10 years.Experts attribute the rise in infant mortality to several factors, including barriers to prenatal care and health insurance. The leading causes of infant death are premature birth(55%), congenital abnormalities(23%), infections(6%) and sudden infant death syndrome (5%). The report also found that significant racial disparities exist. In 2004, 49% of the infants who died were Hispanic, 35% were black and 11% were white.
I wonder of that 49% Hispanic babies how many were born of illegal parents?...But since they can't ask that question of them,we won't know
..and can someone please tell me where Hispain is????


This may be the weirdest thing I read this week...
QUESTIONS SWIRL AROUND GREEN MOUNTAIN IN CHINA...
Shanghai,China--Villagers in Fumin County are wondering why a barren mountainside was painted green. Workers who began spraying Laosh
ou Mountain last August said they were doing so on orders of the county government but were not told why, media reports said...A woman who answered the phone at the county forestry department but refused to give her name said, "This is an order from above. You should ask the leader from above.".....(They would ask him but he is too busy building toy bombs)

COIN SUGGESTS CLEOPATRA WAS NO LOOKER.
London--Maybe Mark Antony loved Cleopatra for her mind. That's the conclusion being drawn by academics at the University Of Newcastle from a Roman denarius coin that depicts the Egyptian queen as a sharp
-nosed and thin-lipped with a protruding chin.When we think of Cleopatra we think of Elizabeth Taylor's Cleo, but she looked more like this...

She is butt ugly..So I figure she either was brilliant or gave great head...or possibly both...I like the idea that she is butt ugly...Butt ugly and still did some serious damage to the Roman Empire..Sort of a Egyptian version of Ugly Betty..

Rem
ember back when I said I was confused why Good Hair Perry was endorsing a bill to make it mandatory for all girls under the age of 18 to have the HPV shot..??????? It's all coming perfectly clear now...MONEY...THE GREEN STUFF...LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF GREEN STUFF..
Gov. Ric
k(Good Hair)Perry's chief of staff met with key aides about the HPV vaccine the same day its manufacturer (Merck & Co.) donated to his campaign...Chief of Staff Deirdre Delisi's calendar shows she met with the governor's budget director and three members of his office for an "HPV Vaccine for Children Briefing" on Oct. 16th.
That day, New Jersey-based Merck & Co.'s political action committee donated $5,000 to Perry, $2,500 to comptroller c
andidate Susan Combs and $2,000 to four state lawmakers.(This is the money we know about, this doesn't count the under the table money I am sure was passed..) The calendar and other documents obtained by the AP show Mr. Good Hair's office began meeting with Merck lobbyists about the vaccine as early as mid-August, months before social conservatives-who are now those most outraged by the order-helped re-elect him in November.
Good Hair spokesman Robert Black said the timing of the meeting and the donation was a coincidence.(Yeah, fucking right.)The order the governor issued this month directed the Texas Health and Human Services to adopt rules requiring the
shots for girls entering sixth grade as of September, 2008...
That fucker...it's always about money with them fucking republ
icans..I wonder how all those conservatives feel about re-electing him now?....Reminds me of the story about the rabbit and the snake both needing to cross the river...I'm sure you all know it...moral of the story...don't be surprised when you get bit by a snake no matter what he tells you..that's what snakes do...

This
was not so much funny as sad...A couple of weeks ago a man was found dead and mummified in front of his TV after a year...The TV was still going ...No one checked on him...no one cared...that is just fucking sad...I would probably be found before I became a mummy, but not before Annie had dined on me...

THE HIGHER POWER OF LUCKY...
Have ya'll heard about the shit hitting the fan over this kids book?..
O
n the first page of the book The Higher Power of Lucky, by Susan Patron, this year's winner of the Newberry Medal, the most prestigious award in children's literature.The book's heroine, a scrappy 10-year-old orphaned Lucky Trimble, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.
"Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much," the book continues. "It so
unded medical and secret, but also important."...Librarians all over the country are having shit fits...saying it was a 'Howard Stern-type shock treatment just to see how far they could push the envelope..
It has been banned from Libraries in the South,the West and the Northeast. The book is written for children 9-12 but that some librarians countered that since the heroine is 10, children older than that would not be interested in reading it...(not before maybe, but I bet you a Dublin Dr. Pepper they will be flocking to the Library to read it now.)One teacher who is pushing the banning said t
hat she has heard from dozens of librarians who agree with her stance. "I don't want to start an issue about censorship,"she said."But you won't find men's genitalia in quality literature."
"At least not for children," she said...

Oh for fuck's sake..get a life you old hens...
I am going to work at the library Tuesday and Saturday for Henrietta...I think I will ask her to get the book for the library..I'll say one thing for ole H...nothing gets her riled up more than censorship and people telling her to pull some book off her shelf..(well, other than
me and my conversations about homosexuals)...she'll buy a copy full price just to piss them off...
(PS.......Wrote this yesterday to post today..worked at the library and was looking at new books that need to be cataloged and put out..guess what I found???? yup..."The Higher Power Of Lucky.'...Henrietta had already bought it...that's my gal...)

OK, that's all the news that's fit to print...
fuckme till I'm censored..

Saturday, February 24, 2007

..............HOT L BALTIMORE..............

Does anyone remember this show?...It was on ABC on Friday night from 9-9:30 from January 1975-June 1975....It was and still remains one of my very favorite sit-coms. It was very controversial at the time and it originally was an award winning Broadway play...Norman Lear adapted it for TV and even though it was terrific, it was buried on a Friday night at 9pm and it just didn't make it..I absolutely fucking loved it...It broke my heart when they took it off..
It took p
lace in the lobby of a seedy hotel. The E had burnt out of the Hotel...giving you an idea right off that it wasn't exactly the Ritz...So it was the Hot l Baltimore...It stared James Cromwell(of Babe fame and now Jack Baurer's bad Daddy on 24)...along with Conchata Farrell, who is giving Charlie Sheen hell on 2 1/2 Men as the housekeeper..
It brought sexual innuendo and racy dialogue to television.
Among the cast were the desk clerk Bill Lewis and his love April Green.Bill was played by James Cromwell and April Green was played by Conchata Ferrell.There is nothing I love better than to here Conchata Ferrell laugh...Clifford Ainsley(Richard Masur)was the harried manager, Charles Bingham(Al Freeman, Jr.) was the philosopher, Suzy Marta Rocket(Jeannie Linero) was the Colombian prostitute, Millie(Gloria Le Roy)the unemployed waitress, Jackie(Robin Wilson) was the tomboy,Mr. Morse(Stan Gottlieb) the septugenarian who was always on the verge of dying....George and Gordan(Lee Bergere and Henry Calvert) played the homosexual couple, and last but not least Mrs. Bellotti played by Charlotte Rae, who had a 26-year old prankster son Moose who never appeared on screen.Moose delighted in such escapades as buttering the hallway, staging the Poseidon Adventure in the bathtub and collecting unlikely pets, like beavers..Once when the tenants protested a rent increase, Moose glued himself to the ceiling of his room in sympathy..
Richard Masur's character Clifford was always being harassed by his mother, and I swear one time I heard him say "mother can get fucked.'....maybe not..maybe he said another word that was soooo similar that you couldn't tell the difference..I have always wanted to write Norman Lear and ask him what he said.
The goings on with Mrs. Bellotti and Moose was hysterical..I remember her screaming into a walkie-talkie from the lobby to his bedroom:'Blue leader to red dog, over.
. Blue leader to red dog.'...One bit that really sticks in my mind is when someone offhandedly asked what the capital of Alaska was...and Suzy Marta Rocket the Columbian prostitute says 'Whoneau!...Whoneau!...(the capital of Alaska is Juneau)and someone said :'it's Anchorage, isn't it!' and Suzy's screaming 'Whoneau, Whoneau,'..someone else says 'No, I think it's Fairbanks.'...Suzy's still yelling 'Whoneau'...finally April looks at her and says"Who cares."....It still makes me laugh..
I wish they would put it out on DVD...If you never got to see it, you really missed a great TV show...I'm not for sure, but think it was the first TV that featured gays...
This was my little trip down TV's past...

Thursday, February 22, 2007

..............THE ANSWER IS..............



I hope that my answers please you...If they don't...well, in the early words of the Yellowdog.....get fucked....

Kath, the world is being ran by madmen, so you may have to seek sanity else where. Maybe in a cave, the bottom of the ocean, the top of a mountain, under the covers...I think by 2008 you humans will have had your fill of the insanity and will do what it takes to recover from the past eight years...You mortals are such slow learners. I thought you would have learned your lessons from past wars, but I see it will take something drastic to make you alter your path..Like the destruction of man..I would hate to think you will have to start all over again as slime clotting on the shores of a dead ocean.It won't be the first time.
Sanit
y.. Kath! One of my favorite subjects..Samuel Beckett said:"We are all born mad, some remain so." Nathaniel Emmons said:"Insanity destroys reason, but not wit."...but I think Waylon Jennings said it best:"I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane."....George Bush seems to belong to the school of thought from Peggy Noonan, who said:"If you commit a big crime then you are crazy, and the more heinous the crime the crazier you are. Therefore you are not responsible and nothing is your fault." Everyone has their own brand of crazy...sanity is being of sound mind..Personally as a Goddess I find that a little wanting...I want my horses sound, not my mind...
RevJim is concerned with his writing..Jim, you have a great talent..I read your blogs..The only problem I see with your NASCAR blog is there is
too long of a period between races and like the Yellowdog says:"The drivers need to be packing." Your other blog is very interesting, but I think more humor is called for..I asked Yellowdog about your political blog for advice and she said...look for the humor...if you don't find the humor in the insanity of the politics, you are lost..
Inspectorguy want's to know who I would vote for..Obama or Clinton.
Goddess's aren't allowed to vote...but if I could pull the lever I would probab
ly wait for Obama and Clinton to cancel each other out and vote for Al Gore. Anyone that cares that much for my planet would make a great president..
Jim wants to k
now how old I am and how old I feel..I am old Jim...very very very old...I was old when Jesus was arguing with the Rabbi's at the Temple..I was old when there was nothing but the sound of silence...Old ...old ...old...Jim...But I am also young...in the age of the universe I am a babe in arms...
Indian
s...I love all humans Jim...which means I love Indians. The feathered kind and the red dot kind...Although you are starting to piss me off...and it's not nice (or healthy) to piss off the Goddess...be forewarned...
Bright yeller Gun....the sunshine boy...up to his knees in snow
and children..Sunshine needs some time with his mate, away from the snow and the children..I wish I could come baby sit, but I am holding out for BlueBell Ice Cream..Think you should send the children to your mother, in Florida for the weekend..
Bob, the Yellowdog said she found the header in a email and Denise put it
up for her...I don't know what any of that means.
Finally some serious questions..Josh wants to know what the most important t
hing for mortals to do..and what is the secret of happiness and is it even attainable. Humans should spend less time on attaining 'things'..and spend more time loving and being with their family. The Goddess knows....you can not achieve happiness by going into debt by buying a bright shiny new car, or a 27inch screen to watch your movies on..Happiness isn't something that you can find...happiness is what you can be..look inside and be happy with yourself..then true happiness will come to you..Loki is off somewhere trying to come up with another great joke on the world..Bush was his last one..
Laure
n wants to know if Dubya is getting dumber...No, he's about as dumb as you can get..Also is concerned about finding the right one...if you had found the right one...you would know it..I do think that you are looking for the right one, when you and I both know ...the right one will find you..
No Tina, I think we have about 2 more weeks of not so great weather and then I think it's behind us..
Nitwit
wants to know what the last thing he should do on the first day of the rest of his life..That's so easy.....smile..
Jim wants to kn
ow if it's ok to fall in love a second time. As long as you don't make it your last..
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if there is a job out there that will make him
a lot of money and one that he won't have to work hard at and not know anything...."run for president"...
Sue wants
to know if aliens will ever land on the White House? Sue, I am pretty sure that the aliens gave up on Earth many years ago..They left you so many clues, but you ignored them all..
Ruby Rocks wants to know if a purebred dog will ever sniff his arse.?
Ruby you have the purest dog I could make..and why would you want a dog to
sniff your arse?..Is that some sort of punishment for the dog??
Dan the answ
er to your question is yes, and no Thom Cruise won't run for public office..Why should he? He already thinks he is a high ranking alien..
Cyberoutlaw no one could be worse than Bush...no one..
Anonym
ous, the answers are yes, no and I am..
Juney, Jun
ey Juney......When you have been with the Goddess all men become great lovers...either that or suffer at the hands of the Blue Cats..The Yellowdog said'nunyafuckingbusiness'....
Jim/Anonymous...I suggest you seek professional help. It's not that the Godde
ss can't answer your question....she just doesn't give a fuck...Anyone that loves Dubya aka Forest Gump aka George W Bush isn't wanted at the Yellowdog's home away from home...If you think I can punish...wait till what she will bring down on your dotted head..
Kath, Dr.'s and people that work in Dr.'s office usually see themselves as above others as they are in the role of healers...Point to your ass..and tell them to 'heal this'....I can send a cosmic bip to them...
Old Broad....I have been and always will be...Yellowdog welcomes you to her little Forest Gump bashing abode..You are among friends here..except for Jim, and he's on his way out...
Sling, easy answer......humans will be humans...and to err....is human..
apos...you say you have no questions..but I have an answer for your unasked questions.....yes....no...no...yes....maybe...

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......


THE GODDESS AWAITS YOUR QUESTIONS...JUST REMEMBER...NO MATH..

YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ASK QUESTIONS UNTIL FRIDAY AT MIDNIGHT..ANSWERS WILL BE ON SATURDAY...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

ARGHGHGHG, SHE SMOKED ME...




Well, maybe not smoked me..but she sure lit me up and left me puffing...Margaret came by this afternoon about 12:30 and I laced up my high top converses and off we went....Margaret comes up to maybe my chin and weighs about 110lbs..about the size of my left leg..She walks slower than I do, but I didn't mind slowing my pace down as she is doing me the favor by including me in her little jaunt around the apartment complex and she is a sweet little ole lady..By the 2rd trip around, I had found out she was a Dallas Cowboys fan and also yelled at the the tv set. But I'm sure she doesn't yell 'catch that mother fucker, asshole.'....she just yells, 'run'. I never noticed before how beady her little squinty eyes are...By the 3th trip around I found out that she also despises Bush...glory glory...there is a Goddess and she loves us all.. She is starting to get on my nerves with her smirk and giggles when I start to stagger, reel and trip over my now untied shoe laces on my scuffed up tennis shoes...By the 4th lap I was starting to see little dots of light in front of me and the sweat was popping out on my forehead and my legs were starting to cramp up on me..but I also found out that she too thinks Bush's mother is a mean ole bitty and there is another lady in the apartment complex that also hates Bush and his George Washington looking mother..What was I thinking when I said I wanted to take a fucking walk with this marathon running hag? The 5th trip around I was staring lovingly at the bench in front of the laundry room and wondered if this old bitch was kin to the energizing fucking bunny who just keeps on going...When we finally got to the fork in the walk to go back to the apartment, I was gasping and sucking air into my lungs like a hover vacuum cleaner...'Is this the 6th lap ?'I gasped out clutching the side of the building..."are we done yet?'
This seemingly sweet little old lady who I know for a fact harbors the heart of a 12 year old and the legs of Serena Williams, replied..'oh yes, we're all done, I sometimes do this 2-3 times a day, you're more than welcome to come with me later on today..'..
No thanks I wheezed...I think I have to take a nap.'....
I swear to the Goddess, she was skipping when she went down the sidewalk to her apartment...while I hobbled off clutching my side and wheezing like an accordion shot full of holes..
fuckme till I'm 75...

Monday, February 19, 2007

.......WE SHOULD BE MORE LIKE FLAMINGOS.......





Sometimes I find an article in the paper and I think...I have to pass this bit of information on....this is one of those articles...more of my DAM News...
DALLAS ZOOLOGISTS ARE FINDING THAT CAPTIVE FLAMINGOS PLAY THE MATING GAME BY SOME PRETTY WILD RULES.....
The Dallas Zoo is discovering things you might or might not want to know....I wanted to know this..Captive flamingos usually mate for life..but they also flock together in some very interesting ways..
They
mate up by two males pairing up some times two females pairing up..They are known to have threesomes and also foursomes..They are not to picky..Zoologist Jeanette Boylan said "the male-male pairs tend to be good fathers." "They are very attentive."..
Since flamingos in captivity have problems getting to reproduce this led
to the research of the mating habits of flamingos..Captive flamingos have a distinct hierarchy:
1. Male-male pairs
2. Male-female pairs
3. Female-female pairs
4. Single males
5. Single females
They have a complex mating dance that sometimes ends in an eruption of avian indulgence. They usually start out with 'head flagging,' where all the members of the flock, male and female, stand up with their necks stretched towards and wag their head back and forth very fast..That will lead to a 'wing salute,' where they all open their wings very wide to show the black feathers on the unders
ide. Then they may march in unison or perform an "inverted wing salute,' where the birds push their wings back behind them almost like they're at Gold's gym working on their triceps. But no matter what they do ...it all ends up the same way...A gigantic flamingo sex orgy where all the birds start mating with their chosen one or ones at the same time.. I bet when there are thousands of them going at it..it's a very beautiful sight.But with committed same-sex pairs, which happens more often in captivity than in the wild, because of the small flocks, the mating doesn't end up quite like it is supposed to with the birth of baby flamingos. Couples will go to extremes to get babies to raise.A Female might chippy with a male outside her pairing, then bring up the baby with her girlfriend. Males will steal a heterosexual couple's egg and raise it as their own. They get away with stealing the eggs by sheer force of number as there are more male-male in captivity then in the wild. Trios and quartets are rare and only seem to form under specific circumstances in captivity.
A male-female-female trio might form when a second female joins an established heterosexual pair or a female attracts a male who alread
y has another pairing. All sorts of pairings can happen in most zoos...which leads to the fact that a baby flamingo hasn't been born at the Dallas zoo since 1989...
Now I'm not saying we should steal each other's baby's or have a baby with someone so you can take it to be with your other mate...but I don't see any thing wrong with a little flamingo hanky panky...
First there was muskrat love..now we have flamingo love...
fuckme till I spread my wings and wag my head...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

.......WHAT WAS MY WORLD LIKE THIS WEEK.......











Life is good here in West, By Goddess, Texas....I would bitch about the cold and our 'snow flurries' but Ol Lady in Canada, BYG and Nit Wit In Ohio, Carina and Lauren in Michigan keep besting my weather bitching...It got down to 18 degrees here and Ol Lady topped it by it being 18 below there..fuck...So I will tell you that it is in the 60's and a little breezy..The birds are about to eat me out of house and home...I went through a 20 lb bag of birdseed in less than 4 days...I have more birds to feed here and will stop feeding them on the porch as it is now covered with bird crap...Plus the wind is blowing the seed in the house every time I open the door...
Friday I got a lovely package from Alabama...a t-shirt dyed in Alabama dirt...a 'DIRT T-SHIRT'...how cool is that? It was of course sent to me from our Alabama Mama, Junebugg..It got me interested in the concept of dying shirts in dirt and so I googled it and damn, there is a place on line where you can get dirt dyed t-shirts from Texas, Oklahoma, Alabama and several other states...I have the address but forgot to write it down so I could give it to you all, but if you email me I will give it to you..or if I remember, I will post it in the comment section..Anyhow the t-shirt I have is a brown color but they also come in an Alabama clay color ...they are cool...Now I have proof that I am older than dirt..
My daughter Maryjo Is going to Europe..She is leaving the 22nd and coming back March 18th...Going to England, Ireland, Paris, and Amsterdam...good for her...Hope she has a wonderful trip...
I received 2 phone calls from kinfolk this morning...my second cousin Frank is coming down n
ext weekend with wife and 3 kids and wanted to know about a motel to stay in, I told him about the Czech Inn, but told him, my couch makes into a queen size and we can take the pillows off and they the kids can bunk on the floor..They had all been down for our cousins wedding (he and wife are going to Paris for honeymoon, how cool is that..)and everyone missed me not being there..of course my son and his wife were there, which confused the kinfolk...why would Thom come and not bring his mother..?...ask Thom I said..Just when I think things are kinda sorta getting back to normal, I realize it was being done with smoke and mirrors..Anyhow, they are coming down and it really will be great to see them...Then I talked to my pistol packing Aunt Leola...oh, you would love my Aunt..if it wasn't for her I don't think I would be around here doing what I do...she rescued me when I was about 6 months old and took me from Oklahoma where my sister and I had been left in a motel while our mother was out entertaining the troops on leave..My sister was sent to live with our mother's family and Aunt Leola took me to Houston, where I lived till I was 4 years old...So I am very close to my 'Wowo.'..Which is what we called her when we were little as we couldn't say Leola..She and I want to have the reunion again here in West...I had it here one year and it was more fun...had a great time and they also got to enjoy Westfest...So hopefully we will have it here this year...if so ...........man......will I have a great post then..ha..
What e
lse..oh yes, Maryjo's friend in North California sent her a ticket to go see Michael Franti and Spearhead in San Francisco..gets all the comp treatment and gets to go back stage..meet and greet all the big wigs..she's pretty pumped over it..expect her to call today and tell me how it went..I have never heard of this band before but I guess they are known for doing benefits for world peace and other causes...They are sorta reggae, hip hop, soul, rock, etc.????????? Hell, I don't know..they play music..check em out..
My neighbor(can't remember her name..the 75 year old walker)..came over yesterday morning, the postman put my mail in her box...I invited her in and we had a nice talk...She's a sweety...she goes to Church at the First Baptist Church every Sunday and prays to God out loud...I was tempted to tell her I pray out loud to the Goddess, but figured..why rock the boat, I have plenty of t
ime to shock her out of her drawers...besides she will be someone to walk with and don't need to run her off first thing..She is a reader too, so gave her a stack of books to read..she was so excited..I had put out a bunch of books in the laundry room with a note saying read and bring back so others can read them too, and they are doing that..She said she read 3 of them and is waiting for the others to make the rounds..
She and several others from the apartments go to the Senior Cen
ter(right by the Library) for lunch every day..it cost $1.50 for lunch and she says it's pretty good...I might try it and see how I like it...Be nice to make some new friends.........
Brawhahahahahahahahahahah! Yeah, fucking right...Like I said, until one of the 6 people that are supposed to carry my ass to the grave croaks, I see no need for making new friends..plus I have you guys to pick from...right?..
I have to go now...NASCAR is on...I have to watch and root for Matt for Babs...oh cool, Nicolas Cage just told them to 'Start Your Engines.'....I would love to see Babs be able to do that..How cool would that be...

fuckme till my engine purrs....

Thursday, February 15, 2007

THE GODDESS HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING


Blessings on you my children....I am here,along with the Yellowdog to answer some questions for you...I hope that I will be able to enlighten you with MY wisdom and her sense of humor.
So, lets get right to it...

1.Jeremy wants to know why do fools fall in love? Because they don't know any better Jeremy, but with age comes wisdom and soon they will know better...They will still fall in love but at least they will know what to expect.Back in my day when someone broke my heart, I tied him to the wheels of my chariot and my blue kittens hauled his ass to Hades..It's not nice to mess with the Goddess.


2.Sling would like to know what's really going on and that's pretty basic Sling.Live is going on.Life goes on with rhythm and a good solid beat. It's easy to dance to if you get it right.Be a dancer Sling...enjoy life..


3.Apos would like to know if she is going to pass her physical to get her green card so she can come to the United States to be with her "Little Fat Bastard." Only if you stop huffing and puffing on that strange grass you humans find so desirable...You'll be able to smoke that stuff soon enough..I know that(hey, Yellowdog...what's the word I want for her neighbor?...oh, of course.)asshole that lives by you is hard to take even in small doses..but you can smoke pounds of that stuff and he's still going to be an asshole.


4. Oh, dear!..Zero has more than a few questions and all seem to be about women..Why is it you men have so much trouble with your women? I don't think Thor or Odin would put up with what the modern man puts up with..Alright Zero,the reason why all the women you fall in love with are crazy is because you are to young to be falling in love..You're not experienced enough to pick out the good from the bad..So you go for the one that will make you miserable..Patience my dear Zero, the one for you will come when you stop seeking her.No, she doesn't love you...but when you least expect it..the right one for you will come..


5.Nitwit, my you humans have some very strange names..but this one seems to be one of the Yellowdog's special friends and is concerned about some complete moron getting elected to the Presidency..Well, this I can tell you..the current President is not a 'complete moron'...I don't think he's capable of being a complete anything..except a complete asshole..I really do like that word...I always liked bunghole but asshole seems to fit better in this case.

6.Ruby...ah yes, Ruby..the man with the lovely sweet misunderstood dog..Ruby is concerned that a man named Kinky Friedman lost an election and that all dogs in the know must have voted for him..Which is part of the problem Ruby...dog's votes don't count unless your a republican..Then they count.Like Yellowdog told him, 'It doesn't matter if you have good intentions, if your head is up your ass.'

7.Flo: This lady is concerned with something called fonts, size and color of this blog. This blog belongs to the Yellowdog and she seems to be pretty content here with things as they are...and I don't see how that should concern me..But I did go to the place where you call home...with the exception of a picture of a very pretty human baby, I think that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
next.......

8.Cheesemeister just wants me to know she is happy with the Yellowdog and says she is a wise-ass..Yes, Cheesemeister most parts of her are very wise..Except for her vagina.it's made some serious mistakes over the years..

9.Cyberoutlaw: My you humans are very concerned with who's running for President and other offices...maybe if more of you had voted you wouldn't be in the mess you are in..But no, Nolan Ryan should not run for president..Yellowdog said for me to tell you that "just because he can pitch a perfect game, doesn't make him presidential material..'

10.Allan wants to know who is stalking him...Why, me of course.You are a very interesting person Allan and I like the music you play on your radio...Yellowdog says.."check him out."

11.Jan, Jan, Jan. You sure do ask some personal questions of the Goddess..I lost my virginity to my husband Od...who disappeared on our honeymoon...I was distraught and I wept and wept and wept..Finally I put on my falcon coat and flew around the world looking for him and found that one of the jealous God's had punished him by banishing him to the sea. By the time I got to him he had been turned into a horribly disfigured monster and soon after some one killed him...This was unexceptionable to me and I insisted that he be allowed to go to Valhalla even though he had not died in battle..I am allowed to make visits to him of a sexual nature, if you get my meaning, so even though he is dead, we still kept up our relationship.Of course he respected me in the morning and respects me still. I am the one that made it possible for him to enter Valhalla ...plus, as Yellowdog might say"I'm a great piece of ass."

12.Oh sweet Pixie..Why are we here?....You and the rest of the humans are here for my amusement..you do make me laugh so...like the time you learned how to ride your bike..that was great fun..

13.Buddha girl, who is named after one of my great friends...The Buddha...sends blessing to you all and to the little red headed man child named in his honor. Buddhagirl, you will most assuredly chase down that asshat and no you will never be able to put those drops in that child's eyes with out sitting on top of him...He's a strong willed man child who is not going to be easy to harness...The Yellowdog wishes that you and the redheaded boy would come down for some Czech festival that is held at Labor Day..Something about 'booging till you puke'...sounds like a pagan ritual.

14.Jblue wants to know if the aliens built the pyramids. Why is it when something wonderful and beautiful is discovered you want to find someone else to credit for it?...No, man kind build the pyramids..and all the other wonders of this world...You humans don't give yourself enough credit..
The aliens did make Bill Gates though..

15.Kath, if the weekends were any longer, you humans would never get any work done.You need to get up earlier, that might help..Why is yellow? This is a direct result from your humans...our word for yellow was 'Yegostrnofthsun'

16.Cyberoutlaw, is intersted if the state of New York can whip the ass's of the state of Texas..Yellowdog wants to answer this one....she says:"fuck no"...

17.Mimi is a very funny girl...She wants to know why you say 'take a shit and take a piss,' when you are actually leaving a shit and leaving a piss.' Hey, you humans made your language, and changed what the Goddess had written. You're the one that changed yellow from yegostrnofthsun....you made up some very strange words...I mean really ...'w-bn 'nk hmjt 'zt b-kl qsjt 'l gblm b-mqmm...that is Phoenician by the way..Who talks like that?...Mimi...it's up to you to start the change...next time ...tell people...'I'm going to go leave a shit, be right back.'...Every journey starts with one step...or a shit in this case..

18.Toodles is asking a question for her sister...another question about your President...Oh Thor!...You're president can't write a book ...in any form...it would take an entire storm of ghost riders to write his life story..Besides, who would read it?...She also wonders if he will be here till the end of his term..Unless your party of democrats grow balls, he will be here till the end..
Happiness....happiness is not hard to find...but you humans have become spoilt, you think owning things is the key to happiness. It's not..You spend so much time working to make money to buy things to make you happy that you have forgotten why you are here in the first place..To make this planet of your's a better place for the ones that come after you..Take pleasure in the world around you ...if it's not to your liking then you must work to change it...I made you so you would bring me joy..and being joyful does that..Owning lots of shinny toys shouldn't make you happy, making this planet a safe and clean environment for your children and your grandchildren will make you happy...and then..I will be happy.


19.Tina tossed in a question at the end of the night. Bush will get impeached in your democratic party decides to do their job...but I don't think they can agree on anything so things will probably go on as usual.
When you die....if you are good you come to my house...if you die in battle you go to Valhalla, if your bad...you go to Hades..easy peasy...
I must go now...one of the duties of being the Goddess is escorting soldiers who have died on the battle field into Valhalla, and thanks to your President I have many brave soldiers to tend to...

My blessings on you my children...make me happy...be joyful..

and don't forget to vote...


the Goddess has left the building..

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......


Ask me any question....I have all the answers...If I don't know the answer I will consult my aide-de-camp, the great and wonderful Yellowdog (aka-Jackiesue)..She has terrific insight and intuition and a line of bullshit you wouldn't believe..

MY BLESSINGS ON YOU MY CHILDREN AND ALWAYS REMEMBER...VOTE..

.......I GIVE MY HEART TO YOU.......


Or at least someone's heart...

There was article in my DAM News and thought it was kinda sorta interesting...They asked people what their favorite love song was...these are some of the people and their picks..then you can add yours...what's your favorite love song and by who(whom??)

Derek Luke-actor- AS by Stevie Wonder.
Richard Linklater-director- I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS by Ella Fitzgerald.
Mercedes Mchal-actress-IN YOUR EYES by Peter Gabriel.
Ludacris-rapper- WOOZY by Ludacris
Art Alexakis-singer-YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL by Joe Crocker(as long as I don't have to watch him sing it.)
Johnny Dubowsky-singer-WILD HORSES by The Rolling Stones.
Jaret Reddick-singer-OPEN ARMS by Journey.
Lisa Loeb-singer/songwriter-REUNITED by Peaches and Herb.
The Game-Rapper-LET'S GET IT ON by Marvin Gaye.
Lady Soverign-Rapper-DIRECTOR by Avant.
Timothy Bottoms-Actor- THE MELODY OF FRIENDLY PERSUASION.
Joey Lauren Adams-Actress-HE STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY by George Jones.
Rocco Deluca-Musician-BABY'S IN BLACK by the Beatles.
Sylvester Stallone-Actor-OOH BABY BABY by Smokey Robinson.
Jennifer Hudson-Actress-singer-MY FUNNY VALENTINE ...no artist..
Amos Lee-Singer-anything by Merle Haggard.
Nick Cassavetes-Director-YOU'RE STILL THE ONE
Jeff Lipsky-Writer-Director-SEA OF LOVE by Cat Powers..


So.............what's your favorite love song?...If I had to pick one...it would be IT'S ALL IN THE GAME by Tommy Edwards...but I also think AT LAST by Etta James is pretty great...
Happy Valentines Day ......

Monday, February 12, 2007

FREYA THE GODDESS



Her first husband was called Od (or Odur) but he deserted her, and there after she wept golden tears of grief at all opportunities..such as there were, for her life thereafter was one of unbridled promiscuity. Counting her various conquests is no small matter, but we can list her brother Frey, Odin and other gods, a man called Ottar, not to mention four very important dwarfs...When LOki cast certain doubts upon her virtue, it is hard not to agree with his accusations.
She was part of a bet between Loki and Thor for sexu
al favors, she got soooo pissed her fury was spectacular so the gods gave that one up..Freya's exploits with the four dwarfs involved her directly...She was exploring the world one night when she came across the smithy of four dwarfs called the Brisings. They were in the process of making a necklace of such exquisite beauty that Freya could hardly believe her eyes.There was nothing that the goddess would not do to possess that treasure: when the dwarfs declared that she could have it only if she spent a night of lust with each of them in turn , she readily assented.Loki had followed her and rushed to tell Odin of her prostitution and the king of the Aesir was furious as he longed for Freya himself, so to find out she was sporting with the dwarfs hurt him grievously..plus he was pissed at Loki for telling..s He told Loki to get the necklace..She was wearing it and passed out in sexual bliss when he tried to get it..She was laying on top of it and he finally turned his self into a flea and bit her to get her to turn over and he took the necklace..She went straight to Odin to find out if he had any thing to do with the theft..and if he was...well, she called him a very dirty name..He said she was calling him names but if she had not debased herself by whoring with the dwarfs in order to obtain the necklace she wouldnt be where she was, and to get and keep the necklace which she really really wanted she had to agree as part of her respoinsiblities the spreading of warfare and misery.So to keep the necklace she agreed..
Freya, as noted, was no paragon of virtue. It might have been expected that she should have been reviled for her secuality..especially in a primitive society, where women are commonly expected to be both chaste and willing, she was one of the most importand and respected members of the Norse pantheon.
She was also the goddess of sex. Daughter
of Njord and twin sister of Frey, her chariot was pulled either by her boar Hildisvini or by a number of cats. She owned a falcon coat which she used to fly around the world, in the guise of that bird.Horses were involved with her cult, for reasons it appears, of orgiastic sex. Besides her role in terms of sex and beauty she had a somewhat grimmer aspect, because she often led parties of Valkyries down to fetch the dead from battlefields, bringing them back to her hall so they could enjoy all the benefits of the afterlife.
So this is my Goddess. The Goddess of sex, fertility and war...my kinda Goddess...
Each Thursday you will be able to Ask Freya the Goddess any question that you like...and she will answer you...Just leave a question as a comment and she will answer them..I will post them the next day...

May the Goddess bless and keep you safe from the far right..