I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

\FOUR NEW PAIR OF TENNIE RUNNERS





This is going to be short...Bolish is antsy and need to keep an eye on him..he's napping right now...but have to tell you about my new shoes..

Shady was here yesterday and had on the cutest pair of tennie runners...with the funky little round toes...she said if they have them in your size I will get you a pair...now that was cool..So today she shows up with 4 bags of shoes..4 new pairs of tennie runners...I am posting the pictures..but I have never had 4 new pair of shoes of any kind..I'm a buy one pair at a time kinda person...I didn't know which ones to wear..finally settled on the low top converse in kahki green..but oh my goddess.you should see the baby phat's...they are high tops in lime green lame with gold cat outlined on the sides..A pair of Rocket dogs in jigsaw pattern in tribal brown suede, and a pair of roxy black canvas with red heart on the sides..I got new shoes..I got new shoes....nana nana boo boo..stick your head in doo doo..
Fuckme till I go barefooting...

SOMETHING TO LIVE BY


"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

Sunday, July 29, 2007

HOO..RAH...NITWIT'S POSTING AGAIN.......

that's it..just that nitwit's posting again..that is more important than cheney's operation,bush's iq,that death sniffing cat, my fat ass and all the other news of the day..it all pales in comparision...nitwit's posting again...

NEW PICTURES OF MOJO












I WANNNNNNA GO HOME.....

Oh....Lord....I wannnnna go home...
(what I am missing)

I am soo lonesome for my life..Jenny graduates from college the 16th of August..My nephew and his wife are supposed to come down for Westfest on Labor Day Weekend..I don't know how many trips the old truck has in her and if I go home Tuesday for 2 days..come back..and then have to drive back for Jenny's graduation and back..then go back again for Westfest and back...my truck is apt to curl up on I-35 and croak..
Plus..this (in George Bush whiny voice)..is hard...it's hard work..fuck..there goes Bolish..be back..
He was wandering around in the front yard..then the stupid yippy dog goes out with him and he doesn't want to come back so I have to chase his dumb ass all over the fucking neighborhood..and then Bolish takes off again..phew...it's hard...hard work..ha..
Last night he had an 'accident'..cleaning up human poop from 2 bathrooms, the carpet, sheets, bed pads,clothes etc. is not my idea of a way to spend an early Sunday morning...I know there is a Johnny Cash song in there someplace..
I know I had told Lane I would do this for 2 months..but this is more difficult then I thought it would be...It's not like you can really carry on a conversation with him, as he doesn't remember anything for more then 30 minutes..so there is a lot of repeating..lots of repeating...there will be the hours of no sound..then he will start talking...which is nothing more then words strung together..and if you don't make the right reply to his conversation..he gets really snippy..which is no big deal but after the 5-6Th time...it gets a little wearing..and if I'm not cleaning up after Bolish..I'm cleaning up after the yippy fucking dog...
Lane is supposed to be taking Blanche(the mother) to Marble Falls to a nursing home this Monday...she can probably get Bolish in too, but wanted to wait and see how she adapted and how he reacted to the thought of him going too..So maybe if I can get her to make some sort of arrangements where I can stay here till right before Jenny's graduation and then just go home..I just feel so guilty that I am not holding up to my end of the deal..fuck...What to do what to do...And I need to just get away by myself for a few hours or I'm going to be in the room next door to Blanche..sigh..*....So you guys tired of listening to me whine and feel sorry for myself yet?..I am getting tired of hearing it my ownself..
Gotta go..would stay longer but a couple of astronauts took a rocket out for a joy ride and are doing loops over head..I heard one exclaim as they drove out of sight:"To the moon Alice...to the moon."

Saturday, July 28, 2007

.......CHENEY TO HAVE SURGERY.......

Washington...Vice President Dick Cheney will undergo minor surgery this morning to replace teh battery that powers a device implanted in his chest six years ago to monitor his heart and deliver a shock if it ever goes out of rhythm.The surgery will be performed at George Washington University Hospital.
To insure the continuance of power at the White House, Cheney will transfer presidential power over to Bush while he is under going the operation.As soon as he is conscious again, Bush will transfer the power back over to the Dick.

Friday, July 27, 2007

CAT SENSE:THIS KITTY IS DEAD ON


Providence, R.I. Death walks silently among us,invisible except in the cat's eye.
The cat would be Oscar.He seems to know when people are about to die..

I know you all have read about the cat Oscar that can sense when someone is going to die and he will go jump on their bed and lay with them the last 2 or 3 hours of their life...What they don't tell you is that ole Oscar has caused a few deaths on his own...There is the case of George Blyth who had laid down on his bed to take a nap and when he woke up and found Oscar laying down on the bed with him, jumped up and ran screaming "I'm not ready to go..I don't wanna die"...into the streets where he was struck by a car and killed instantly.There is also the case of Mildred Withers who was in her wheel chair at the dining room table and when Oscar jumped up on her lap she gasped...clutched at her heart and fell over dead in her mashed potatoes..Then there was Sam and Jessica Myers who were having a nooner, when Oscar jumped up on the bed...Jessica had an orgasm so strong she suffered a stroke and Sam still can't get it up...yeah.....they don't tell THOSE stories about ole Oscar.
update on Oscar....
Oscar died today at the rest home where he had been living the past few years..He was in his bed and funny enough he was surrounded by several patients ...the vet said he thinks he died a natural death..but then he could have been smothered to death from all the old people sleeping on his bed..
yup..another one..just for me..

.......I'M FAT.......AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.......


Gaining weight? Your friends may be to blame, study finds..
Risk of becoming obese grows if pals pack on pounds, researchers say...
Your friends may be more important than your genes in determining whether you gain weight.
A new study, which follwed a large group of Americans for more than three decades,was the first to demonstrate tht obesity-and perhaps other health problems tht involve behavior or lifestyle-spreads through social networks.
The study, published in today's New England Journal of Medicine, found that a person's chances of becoming obese went up 57 percent if a friend became obese, 40 percent if a sibling did and 37 percent if a spouse did.
The stronger the friendship, the tighter the link:when two people each name the other as a close friend, and one of the two becomes obese, the other's chance of following suit goes up to 171 percent.
SO IT'S ALL YOU GUYS FAULT I'M A FATTY..(and you can use me for a reason why you have gained weight also)...don't want to hear from my skinny friends out there..we are not including you..I'm just looking for someone to blame..and now I have found them....y'all are why I am fat..shame on you....

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

.......GLOBAL WARMING.......

Brazil flights canceled amid safety concerns...
Sao Paulo, Brazil.
Citing safety concerns over heavy rain and a short runway, TAM airlines canceled or diverted about 90 flights Tuesday at Sao Paulo's main airport, where one of the carrier's planes crashed in the rain last week, killing 199 people. Authorities periodically closed the airport to all traffic during the rain Tuesday, causing a ripple effect, as more than half of all flights in Brazil were delayed or canceled for the straight day.

Britons cleaning up after worse floods in decades..
Buscot, England..Gasoline-powered pumps roared into action Tuesday as stunned Britons tried to dry out their houses after the worst flooding in more than half a century. Although sunshine helped shrink water levels Tuesday, more rain was expected in the next few days. Forecasters, however, said additional flooding wasn't expected. The heaviest flooding was in the Gloucestershire region, where some 350,000 people remained without drinking water.

Heat wave sweeps south Europe, killing 35..
Bucharest, Romania..Southern Europe sizzled under a heat wave Tuesday, with temperatures hitting triple digits for a seventh day in Romania, blazes forcing the evacuation of tourists in Croatia and Italy, and wildfires in Macedonia and Greece exploding shells from long-ago wars.At least 35 heat-related deaths were reported. At least 27 people have died since last week in Romania,where heavy use of air conditioning caused power outages..

WASHINGTON D.C....GEORGE W. BUSH STILL SAYS:


'WHAT GLOBAL WARMING?'
KINGSLAND, TEXAS...Jackiesue Denney said:(while standing knee deep in flood water)
"Fuck you George W. Bush.."

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

.......OM THE HILL COUNTRY.......

Not much excitement, although Bolish and I did get haircuts...I again look like a little short fat dyke...Bolish looks pretty dapper...the guy who cut our hair is an American Indian and at first when I saw him wielding his scissors with reckless abandon, I though.."Oh, fuck!..he's going to scalp us."But he really did a good job..and only $22 for both of us..I tipped him $7.00...all I had 'cept for a $20...The guy asked Bolish if he wanted his eyebrows trimmed(he looks like an owl)and he said "Hell no, I'm not a woman."...Everyone seems to think that me and ole Bolish are a pair..it tickles Bolish and so to make him feel even better I tell everyone he's my sugar daddy.....he cracks up...
We went to the library today..and a nice little library it is...they have a chick flick night once a month...they show a movie with popcorn and tell everyone to bring pillows, blankets etc and plenty of Kleenex...this month they are playing Casablanca ...every Saturday they have kiddie films from 10:30am to noon..same deal..what a great idea..(the only movie theater is in Marble Falls about 15 miles away)
I couldn't get a card as I don't have anything with my name on it with the address, so Lane is going to mail me a blank envelope so I can get a card..but they allowed me to check out paperbacks..which I thought was a cool thing...
Bolish and Blake have the nicest neighbors..the couple next door are great about coming over and sitting with Bolish while I run to the store..although mostly I like to take him with me as he enjoys it so much..even took that yippy fucking dog Skipper too...The couple that are catty corner across the street are really nice people with two beautiful shelty type dogs..Diane and Jack are republicans but are saved from being lumped into the pile of republican assholes by declaring they think Bush has his head up his ass too...They have been so much help since I have been here..I baked a peach pie yesterday and took 2 big pieces of pie to them each as a thank you...Didn't have a recipe as I was using splenda..so just sort of made it up as I went along...I think it turned out OK...I ate a small piece and it was a tad tart for me, but really, it tasted pretty good..
If they still have Bing cherries on sale, think I will make a cherry pie...I LOVE homemade cherry pie..cherry's are my favorite fruit..
We have had sooo much rain all over Texas..3/4 of Texas is under water...I swear if I see one locust or a frog drops out of the sky,I'm running for the hills and taking up the old time religion..Well, the yippy fucking dog is yipping and have to get up and let him in...Hope all is well in your world...it's wet here..
fuckme till I'm wrinkled as a prune..

Sunday, July 22, 2007

.......PROBING BUSH'S ASS.......


Washington D.C....

Operation on the President's ass is a complete failure..after repeated attempts...the Dr.'s were unsuccessful at removing Mr. Bush's head from his ass.."We tried every procedure we could think of ..but his head was jammed in there for so long and so far up his anal canal, that we couldn't remove it...We're sure that it is a permanent condition..probably happened at birth." said Dr.Ima Trying,"There is nothing we could do, to rectify it,if you'll pardon the pun."



I'm sorry..sometimes I do these fuckers for me and me alone..


.......ANSWERS HERE!.......


As the Yellow Dog would say...what a bunch of fucking lightweights..is that the best you can do?...Where are the tough questions? Doesn't anyone want to know the meaning of life, if there is life on other planets,if there is a life after death?....jeeze..you guys suck! If you can't come up with anything better then this..I am going to limit my visits to nothing but asskickings..

Cyberoutlaw: Your prize for being first? You get to sit right next to Odin at the beer table in Valhalla...which is not necessary a good thing..he likes to talk about all the women he's fucked and gets pretty boring really fast.If you would move from New York where should you go?..That's an easy one..Yellow dog and I both think there is no place better then West,Texas..Your centrally located..120 miles to Austin and less then 90 miles from Dallas..Plus, it's still 1957 in West, so they have that going for them too.
Nitwit:I think you have no chance of every being a tanned hard body like the people that live in Florida..but then why any one would like to look like a piece of tanned leather..is beyond me..
Yellow dog:You have a seat between Nitwit and Leo in Valhalla..already reserved for the 3 of you..Sooner and Babs are right across from us..
BBC:yeah, yeah...but what's the question?
Kath:never and nope.
Tex:That's my fault..about the early tomatoes..I forgot to factor in all the rain...The Yellow
Dogs were small but juicy...
OK humans..until you can come up with some better questions..I'm off to Iraq..Thanks to Bush there are an ever ending supply of young warriors to take to Valhalla..Pray for peace...Jesus, Buddha, Allah and I are listening.

Friday, July 20, 2007

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......


Blessings on you my children...Since the Yellow Dog is off doing early karma I thought I would drop by and bestow some Goddess wisdom on you..I know life has not been what some of you have wished for..but seriously humans...you all can't win the lottery..

Thursday, July 19, 2007

.......COPACETIC AND WICKED.......



Those are Bolish's two favorite words....I'll ask him how things are going he'll say 'it's
copacetic'..and if I ask him if if he liked dinner or what ever I fixed him to eat, he'll say it was 'wicked'...He's an 87 year old New Jersey Pollock..who has been in Texas for the past 20 years or so and hasn't acclimated yet..But then Shady Lane still sounds like she just got off the bus from New York and she's been here for over 30 years.
Yesterday I took him for a ride..we went to Marble Falls which was under water a few weeks back from all the rain they had..it's a federal disaster area..But man..is it ever pretty..every thing is so green..there are lakes every where..and full to the brim...It's about 15 miles from here..and on the way back I noticed an old Chrysler that had been redone..so turned around and stopped..It was a restoration place..they had Corvette's, Mustangs, Chevy Impala's, Studebaker's,Model T's, Model A's,and they were beautiful..Bolish said they were wicked.He really enjoyed that.Today I took him to H.E.B. which is a Texas super market and let him drive the buggy..which meant I got to chase after him up and down the aisles..We were both laughing like crazy..Then I took him to Dairy Queen and he got one of those chocolate dipped round boat cones,filled with ice cream, strawberries and drenched with melted chocolate..Oh My Goddess..he was in hog heaven.
He had it smeared all over his hands, face and was making ummmmm ummmm noises..was terrific...He couldn't finish it all so we brought it home and he had it after dinner so he was really happy with that ..I made BBQ chicken, mashed potatoes,gravy, corn on the cob and biscuits..I had fucking salad...My blood sugar is higher then a kite..don't know why..but think maybe it's stress...can stress make your blood sugar go up?...Nitwit?..
Anyhow...tomorrow we are going to go get haircuts..We are both a little shaggy..Saturday we are going to the $ store to get a new flag as his American flag is starting to look pretty ratty..does anyone know how to properly dispose of a flag?
Lane's mom is going into a rest home end of next week...I am going to take Bolish to Austin to Lane for a few days, then go to West and get Annie and Little Asshole..I miss them..plus this looks like it is going to be more than a 2 week job..I told Lane I will stay 2 months...by then I am afraid he will probably have to go into a Alzheimer's place because every day he gets a little bit worse.It is so sad..he will wake up 4-5 times a night and just roams the house..Searching and digging through drawers, closets etc..This morning he said.."I don't know if I'm coming or going"....The evenings are worse ...they call it sun downing ...but I call it the fuzzies..Lane is starting to show some wear and tear from this..I can't imagine how hard this must be for her..so it makes me feel good to know that I can help...and hell, it's not like I have a job or things that have to be done..other then the pussies and the library...what's to do...? The granddaughters have their own life with school and their jobs and their friends .. It's not like I get to see them every week or so..

Hope the library doesn't close while I'm gone.
So I will go home pack up the cats..pay off my bills and then head on back to Austin, pick up Bolish and then settle in for 2 months..Least I have the laptop...There is no way I could do this without you guys...but with the computer and my blogger family..everything is copacetic.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

TEE SHIRT PHILOSOPHY

(around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
If They Don't Have Chocolate in Heaven, I Ain't Going
At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All...I Just Can't Remember It All
My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
I Just Do What the Voices inside My Head Tell Me to Do
If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Discount
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience with Princes, Seeks Frog
No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")
(on the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
I Used to Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping.
What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?
I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
(on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Liberal Arts Major...Will Think for Money
Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be
If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt
If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time
In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take.
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.

excuse smallprint..didn't know how to enlarge it..

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

BROUGHT TO YOU BY FRICK AND FRACK

Holy shit!...Where to begin?...Holy shit!...Made good time to Austin...got lost once but then after I got back on track I found my way to Shady and Brewster's house with no problem..and believe me...they live right next door to way the fuck out there..They live right on Lake Austin and one of there docks is almost under water..I spent the night and we had a great visit..I am crazy about those two people..and Brewster is like a big over grown kid..He lost part of his leg racing boats when he was way young..mid 20's I think..and he and Lane own a boat show and also make custom boats..if you want one...He ski's, races go-carts,fly's those motor ran airplanes, and helicopters..nothing stops him from doing what he wants..and Lane is all for it..says it's cheaper then him going out drinking and whoring...Lane's dad Bolish is 'polock'..that's what she calls him...he's a sweety..I will have no problem with him..We are back at his home in Kingsland and it's a ugly little town(bigger than West) but the people are so nice and friendly..but then...this is Texas..and we do friendly well..I have been trying for the entire day to get on line...Brewster's 'little friend'(as Lane refers to him)Vincent put me together a compaq,intel pentium with windows vista ...it's fucking fantastic...Lane and I were like Laurel and Hardy or Frick and Frack trying to get on line..we bought a double jack..still didn't work,bought a plug converter, still wouldn't work...finally Vincent called and walked me through getting on line..new dial up number ...had to talk to some schmuck in Indian named John to get my sign in name and password..well..duh! I can't remember either one of them..so remembered my sign in name and they gave me a new password..but couldn't remember the ips or ipq or what ever the fuck that thing is...I thought it was AT&T.net..he wouldn't sign me in till I remembered..said look John...I know my address, my phone number, my ss number and I have a tattoo on my left titty...give me some slack..what is it?...Finally he gave me a choice and when he said sbcglobal I remembered...what a mess..so anyhow..I'm hooked up and happy as a hog in slop...Rob is standing over me watching me type...he said I type good...ha..
I went with Rob and his dog Skippy (who is a little neurotic yippy terrier)on a walk and one of his neighbor ladies came out to welcome him back..and I introduced myself and she clasped my hand in both of hers..smiled really big and said :"Are you a christian?".....My first initial thought was...you nosy bitch...what the fuck?...You all know that if you don't want to know...don't ask(about anything)..if you ask..you're going to get the truth...so I said:"No, I'm not...I'm a pagan."..she actually clutched both her hands to her heart and gasped...and her big ass smile sorta slipped some...she said:"You don't believe in Jesus ?...your not a christian?"I said:"I believe that Jesus was a prophet and a really nice guy but I believe in a Goddess."...and it was one of those beautiful day with clouds the size of sailing ships and she pointed at the sky and said look at the Lord's work?" and I said:"And the Goddess is most pleased."...and she grabbed my hands again and started in on about giving myself over to Jesus..and I pulled my hands away and said:"Look, you asked me if I was a christian, and I said I wasn't..and I would never have asked you such a question because it's none of my business, but you asked me and I told you..and now your trying to sell me Jesus..I wouldn't try to change your views on Christianity and I resent you trying to change mine."..she said:"Oh, I'm not trying to do that(yeah,.....right)...and I said:"Well then..the subject's closed."....and Rob and I continued on our walk...fuck...who the hell greets a total stranger with "are you a christian?"...I was telling Brewster about it when he called and he laughed his ass off...said sounds like the OK corral..ha..
I am having fun here..Rob and I are going to get along fine..I get to cook for someone and 'mother someone'...and he gets to have someone take care of him...so it will work out...I don't know how long I will be here..when she doesn't need me any more...then I will go home..but I like being able to help her and Brewster..
Now that I am hooked up..I will stop by and say howdy..but right now...I am set up in a very uncomfortable place and getting cramps in shoulders and neck from typing this..so catch y'all later...

Friday, July 13, 2007

FIDDLE FUCK!...AIN'T LIFE GRAND




I ended up with an extra $100 this month..my loan payment doesn't start till July 30 and thought it started June 30Th...cool beans...so went and bought me a new phone..with an answering machine..if I am going to be gone in Austin, want family/friends to be able to leave me a message..I did figure out that when I got cable they sold my information to those fucking survey people..as I get about 2 a night now..just give the stock answer about 2 things they don't want...a sexual transmitted disease and my opinion on anything..I am enjoying that very much..and they 'assure me' that they are not selling anything..dickwads!
Good news...Mojo called...we had been slipping e-mails to each other..and then she called me last night..was a sweet wonderful phone call...she really enjoyed her time in Europe, loved Ireland and Amsterdam..She got rid of the boyfriend...hoo-rah!.
I will be leaving Sunday afternoon for Austin..was going to leave Saturday, but they are having the services for Lady Bird Johnson there and the town will be packed and traffic in Austin is bad on a normal day..so can't imagine what it will be like with all the mourners.She was a wonderful lady and did Texas proud..I don't look at the flowers on the roadside with out thing of her...I bet Ann Richards and Molly Ivins are giving her a welcome to Heaven party as we speak...This was a lady who liked her Lone Star Beer..so I hope they have plenty iced down for her.
I had a good day at the used shit store..I bought curtains and a brand new black iron curtain rod for a total of $5.00..Also got 2 big fat black ceramic bowls for .50cents..and a glass heart shaped bowl for a water dish for the cats..for .25cents..got some Hawaiian shirts to goof around in for $1.00 a piece..one is orange and white..I love it.
The only thing between me and my trip to Austin is getting someone to watch the cats..Jenny is working full time and going to school full time and by the time she gets off work it's 11pm..don't want her driving from Waco to West that late at night all tired and done in...and Jamie works such weird hours..going to try and get David and his daughter Jessica to switch off staying here..Loaded up the refer with pizza's, TV dinners, lunch meats, etc. as I know David doesn't like to cook and Jessica is pooped from working..so will make it easier...This will probably be the last post till I get settled in Austin..unless there is something good in paper tomorrow that warranties a post...so..have a great weekend...
I almost forgot the best news..My nephew sent me an original painting ..it's a mermaid shooting up out of the ocean..it's done in shades of blues and greens and it is just beautiful..on the back of the canvas he wrote..'tastes like chicken'....will take some pictures so you all can see it...

Thursday, July 12, 2007

.......SHADY LANE.......

Things are a popping now..I got 3 emails from Shady Lane in Austin..her mom who is 82 fell and is going to be in rehab for her fall and her dad who is 87 is in the early stages of dementia..So I volunteered to drive down and help out..Lane and her husband have a boat shop business to run and her folks live in Kingsland which is a ways from Austin, and she can't leave him alone at her house or at Kingsland and can't leave the shop to do much more than what she is already doing for her Mom..So I will probably go down Sunday or Monday and meet with her..then drive her Dad to Kingsland and take care of them for 2 weeks or so while she tries to get him into a retirement center..either there by Kingsland or by Austin..then when her mom gets out she can join him....Lane is freaking out...but not to fear...Jackie's here..ha..so her friend is supposed to fix me up with a lap top so I won't lose touch with my blogger family..but in case you don't hear from me right away after the 16Th..don't panic..I will try and keep in touch..I have to get one of the granddaughters to come and stay at the apt and cat sit..they will be fine while they are in school during the day, but need to have some one here often enough to feed, water and clean the liter box.will leave them some money so they can buy food as I know they won't cook...I may get them to switch off as I know it will be easier for them..hope the cats don't get them too much of a problem..
I was supposed to go to the library and work for Henrietta when she goes on her vacation to Washington..I had just told her the day before that I would..but now I won't be able to..what a mess...gee ...for someone that doesn't have a life..now all of a sudden I have something to do..I hope this won't be my last post for awhile..I will try and post again before I leave..

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

.......8:22AM...PHONE RINGS .......


Brrrrrrrring!.....

Jackie:mumthphfuk...

Brrrrrring!.....sounds that only a fat ass can make hitting short napped carpet...

Jackie:sonofamotherfuckingbitch...

Brrrring!...

Jackie:Judasfuckingpriest..wait a minute..I'm coming,I'm coming..

What?....

Caller:Good-morning..this is mumblemumbe Aflmumblemumble from the "We just woke you up at 8:22Am to fuck with you and ask you a bunch of dumb ass questions...may I talk to the man of the house?..

Jackie:There are no men in the house but my lesbian wife Chenequa,our two pit bull dogs,Sadie, Mable and our canary, Princess Moa, will be glad to answer any questions you have to ask as long as you don't require balls..Now what was it you wanted?....

long silence...sound of phone being hung up...

Jackie:hee, heee...pretty fucking fast on my feet for being dead asleep and just woke up huh Annie?..What do you say to some oatmeal you little Asshole?....

Sunday, July 08, 2007

.......TEXANS...YA GOTTA LOVE US.......



Just about the time you're ready to wash your hands of us Texans..one will speak that reminds you of why ...ya'gotta love us.

"After 20-odd years as a field-working folklorist, it is my professional opinion that there cannot be many a Bigfoot between the Sabine and the Neches, simply because 'My relatives would've eaten or married them a long time ago."...Rhett Rushing, UT-San Antonio researcher, on the prospect of Lone Star Sasquatches.(Dallas Morning News..July1st)(yefuckinghaw)

Friday, July 06, 2007

JENNY, JAMIE AND THE LITTLE ASSHOLE




The 4Th of July was a good day...I asked the girls to come over for a BBQ....they came..It was fun and I enjoyed it so much..I had BBQ chicken,potato salad, deviled eggs,Bush's BBQ beans(damn they're good)and garlic bread.(which


I didn't burn).I had bought a bag of chips too, but forgot to put it out..Made ice tea, and had cherry vanilla Dr.Pepper..meant to get regular DP but got the wrong one..but ended up being a good thing as Jamie loves cvdp..good on me..


They were 'starving' and we had a nice dinner..Well, it would have been nice if Little Asshole hadn't tried to climb up in their plates..I bought out the spritzer and they cracked up laughing..all he had to do is see it and he took off running down the hall way..They thought he was so cute..but they found out really fast why he is called Little Asshole.(Jamie used to have a cat named Twat..so bad names for animals runs in the family)It was a steady stream of 'oh, he's so cute..damn, he bit me.'...'how pretty he is grandma...ouch..he scratched the inside of my mouth.'...To make it even better, his beautiful blue eyes have turned a yellow green...so he truly is a green-eyed monster...


I finally got all the pictures into albums and they went through them to pick out ones they wanted copies of..Jenny is putting together a assortment of pictures of Jason's grandpa and my Daddy..who is her great grandpa..I kept trying to get her to take pictures of me and Daddy or Daddy and the boys and me...she said.."NO, I just want your Daddy."..which had me muttering 'bitch' a lot..we were giggling and insulting each other..They were a little surprised at one picture of me where I weighed no more than 85 lbs, I was about 18 years old..you could actually see my hip bones poking through my slacks..hurmph..those days are long gone..I don't know about them..but I had a great day...I know they were full and left laughing..They were going to go watch fireworks.


I got to hear them up close and personal as some nut job in the apts, next to us were shooting off firecrackers all night long...scared the crap out of the cats..well, nothing scares Little Asshole but did send him under the bed a couple of times..


We are still getting rain..we're pushing 40 inches of rain...some places in Texas have had over 44 straight days of rain..some one put a call in to Noah..I keep singing that song by Johnny Cash..."How highs the water Daddy...?...


6 feet high and rising."..All this rain has brought out the mosquito's, and allergies which is pissing me off..between the itching of bites and sneezing..I'm not a happy camper...One good thing is the smog is better..not that we have a lot in West, but Dallas does..so that's a plus..Something that was pretty scary was a article about the rain.A half inch of rain is now 9 inches in terms of impact on a community.


Casualties:12 dead, five missing.


Counties declared federal disaster areas:6


homes destroyed in 6 counties assessed:1,000


National guard deployed:260(the rest are on the borders.America and Iraq.)


Last time all river basins were at flood stage:1957(we have 13 rivers ..all are flooded)


counties heavily impacted by flooding:49,covering 48,440 square miles and 6 million residents.


Good Hair Perry has issued state disaster declarations for 44 counties...


( I think Sooner and Tex just floated by..)Oklahoma is getting the same kind of weather we are getting..so we pissed off the same weather Goddess..Welp...that's all the Jackiesue news for now...


Fuckme till I float..

Thursday, July 05, 2007

NOW FOR THE REALLY GOOD NEWS




Forget the crazy bastid in the White house and his merry band of assholes...forget the rain, the drought,the tornado's,the hurricanes, the outrageous price of gas..Don't worry about high cholesterol,being over weight,or if Paris Hilton's beaver is going to make an appearance the next time she crawls out of a limo...forget all that shit...all you have to remember is:

"A SMALL GERMAN STUDY SHOWS DARK CHOCOLATE LOWERS BLOOD PRESSURE,AND IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH.AN AMOUNT LESS THAN TWO HERSHEY'S KISSES CAN DO THE TRICK."

ahhhhhh....thank you Goddess...

Monday, July 02, 2007

.......BOO FUCKING HOO.......

EMBATTLED, ISOLATED BUSH LOOKING FOR ANSWERS.

(Peter Baker..the Washington Post)

Washington-At the nadir of his presidency, George W. Bush is looking for answers. One at a time or in small groups, he summons leading authors, historians and theologians to the White

House to join him in the search.(give me a ring, George...I'll fill you in on that little matter)

Over sodas and sparkling water, he asks his questions:What is the nature of good and evil in the post-Sept.11 world? What lessons does history have for a president facing the turmoil I'm facing? How will history judge what we've done? (harshly..asshole...very harshly)Why does the rest of the world seem to hate America? Or is it just me they hate?(I think that's pretty well established...they hate you...isn't my picture they are burning in the streets) These are the questions of a president who has endured the most drastic political collapse in a generation.Not generally known for intellectual curiosity, (no shit)Mr. Bush is seeking out those who are, embarking on an exploration of the currents of history that have swept up his administration. For all the setbacks, he remains unflinching rarely expressing doubt in his direction yet trying to understand how he got off course.(Judas fucking priest..listen to what 60 percent of the country is trying to tell you, and you might get out of this with both balls)
These sessions, usually held in the elegant living areas of the executive mansion, are never
listed on the president's public schedule and remain largely unknown even to many on his staff.To some of those invited to talk, Mr. Bush seems alone, isolated by events beyond his control,taking their leave and friends turning on him.(think that's the rats leaving the ship)
Burdened by an unrelenting war, challenged by an opposition Congress, defeated just last week on immigration, his last major domestic priority, Mr. Bush remains largely locked inside the fortress of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in the seventh year of a presidency turned sour.
Mr.Bush is fixated on Iraq, according to friends and advisers.One former aide went to see him recently to discuss various matters, only to find the president turning the conversation back to Iraq again and again.he recognizes that his presidency hinges on whether Iraq can be turned around in 18 months."Nothing matters except the war,"said one person close to Mr. Bush."That's all that matters. The whole thing rides on that."(well, your truly fucked cowboy...you backed the wrong horse in this race.)
And yet Mr. Bush does not come across like a man lamenting his plight.(he's to stupid to get it)In public and in private, according to intimates, he exhibits an inexorable upbeat energy that defies the political storms.(it's called denial....and he is the King of denial)
"You don't get any feeling of somebody crouching down in the bunker,"said Irwin Stelzer, a senior fellow at the Hudson Institute who was part of one group of scholars who met with Mr. Bush."This is either extraordinary self-confidence or out of touch with reality.I can't tell you which."..(gee...you think it just might be both...never admitting your wrong means you are always right.)
Mr.Bush has virtually given up on winning converts while in office and instead is counting on vindication after he is dead.(sooner rather then later..thank you very much)"He almost has..a sense of fatalism," said Rep.Peter King R-N.Y.,who recently spent a day traveling with Mr. Bush."All he can do is do his best, and 100 years from now people will decide if he was right or wrong.It doesn't seem to be a false, macho pride or living in your own world.I find him to be amazingly calm."(well, of course dipshit..that is a sign of detachment caused by being out of touch with reality.)
The fabled loyalty of the Bush team, though,has frayed far more than might be apparent to him.The fight over whether Attorney General Al
Gonzales should remain attorney general has exposed a deep fault line. Mr. Bush remains convinced that his old friend did nothing wrong ethically in firing U.S. attorneys, according to White House officials.Yet beyond the inner circle, it is hard to find a current or former administration official who thinks Mr. Gonzales should stay.
Some aides see it as Mr. Bush refusing to accept reality(duh)"The president thinks cutting and running on his friends shows weakness," said an exasperated senior official.
Beyond Mr. Gonzales, the grievance against the Bush presidency is broader and deeper among Republican lawmakers,some of whom seethe with anger."Our members just wish this thing would be over," said a senior House Republican who met with Mr. Bush recently. "People are tired of him."(gee and those are the ones that voted for him....imagine how all of us who think he stole the election feel.)
A group of moderate Hose Republicans bluntly told Mr.Bush during a recent White House meeting that he had became a drag on the party.(where upon...Bush started singing.."It's my party and I'll drag it down if I wanna...")
After reading Andrew Roberts' A HISTORY OF THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING PEOPLES SINCE 1900,Mr. Bush brought in the author and a dozen other scholars to talk about the lessons."What can I learn from history?" Mr. Bush asked the author, according to Mr. Stelzer, the Hudson Institute scholar, who participated.
Mr. Stelzer said that Mr. Bush seemed smarter than he expected. "He asked me,'Do you think our unpopularity abroad is a result of my personality?" And he laughed," Mr. Stelzer recalled, "I said,'In part.' And he laughed again.(yeah, out of touch alright)
Someone needs to tell ole George..ya ain't wearing no drawers buddy....

What is horrible about the description of this man?....He's our president...

fuckme..I'll never vote again.

YELLOWDOG NEWS

So much news..so little time..First an update on the weather in West,Texas...As of last Wednesday we have received 35 inches of rain..It's rained almost every day since...In 1957 we got 58.31 inches of rain.in 1900 we got 60 inches.That's for an entire year..it's now just the first of July and we have 35 inches already..with more to come..Holy shit..I have mildew growing in places we don't want to discuss..




OK..on to the world news...This may be the dumbest thing I have heard that didn't come out of George W's mouth..




"The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discrimination on the basis of race."..Chief Justice John Roberts,in announcing a 5-4 Supreme Court decision rejecting integration plans in the Louisville,Kentucky and Seattle school districts...
Judas fucking priest..

DELAY SOUGHT IN KICKAPOO EFFORT TO EXPAND GAMBLING
Austin,Texas..U.S.John Cornyn and Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott asked federal officials Thursday to delay efforts to allow the Kickapoo
Traditional Tribe of Texas to expand casino gambling at its reservation near Eagle Pass.




This is no big deal, unless you're a Kickapoo Indian...I just like saying Kickapoo..


ANTI-AMERICAN SENTIMENT INCREASING, SURVEY SAYS
Paris..Anti-American sentiment is on the rise around the globe, driven by concerns that U.S.
leaders are prone to act unilaterally and have widened the gap between rich and poor nations, a new international survey found.The survey of 45,239 people in 47 countries by the Washington based Pew Research Center found "worldwide support" for a U.S. withdrawal from Iraq and substantial opposition to U.S. and NATO military operations in Afghanistan..

No shit?...big surprise there...Bush and his bidness buddies have made us hated world wide..I get pissed when they say.."We don't hate the American people..just it's government."...them asshole republicans are the ones that elected Bush..so they are the people..Think I will get a t-shirt that says"Don't hate me..I didn't vote for him."
To tie in with that article is an editorial that I read..This is by Leonard Pitts a columnist for the Miami Herald. paraphrasing here..

"We've been told by conservatives and by mainstream media for years that this is a conservative country, but if you actually look at the facts you find that this is a myth."
Media Matters and the Campaign for Americans
Future, a liberal activist group, have helpfully

assembled said facts in a report released earlier this month,"The Progressive Majority:Why
a Conservative America is a myth."

The report, at http://home.ourfuture.org/, analyzes years of public opinion surveys from suchrespected and nonpartisan organizations as Gallup and the Pew Research Center. On issues after issue, those surveys present a picture at odds with the conservative stereotype.

62% of us oppose overturning Roe v.Wade.
61% of us support using stem cells for research.
60% of us would like to see more government restrictions on guns.

So how the hell did liberal become such a bad word..I think the conservatives are better organized then the liberals..They are out there registering voters and the liberals are at the bar partying or at home in front of the TV..

T-SHIRT DECISION UPHELD
Washington.Putting its recent ruling on student speech into practice, the Supreme Court on Friday rejected a school district's appeal of a ruling that it violated a student's rights by censoring his anti-Bush T-shirt.




A seventh grader from Vermont was suspended for

wearing a shirt that bore images of cocaine and a martini glass..but also had messages called President Bush a lying drunk driver who abused cocaine and marijuana,and the "Chicken-hawk-in-chief" who was engaged in a "world domination tour.

Williamstown Middle School principal Kathleen Morris-Kortz said the images violated the school dress code, which prohibits clothing that promotes the use of drugs or alcohol.
An appeals court said the school had no right to censor any part of the shirt.
On Monday, the court said schools could regulate student expressions if it advocated illegal drug use. Justice Samuel Alito cautioned that schools could not censor political speech.
I just want to know where I can get one of those t-shirts...