I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Friday, February 29, 2008

GAINFULLY EMPLOYED

Yes, the unbelievable has happened...I have a job..I start...well, I'm not sure when I start...maybe Monday, maybe Thursday...When Babs and I were doing our 4 fucking hour tour of West business's, singing Janis Joplin and making fun of the help at said business's...I got a job offer..My friend Inky is the assistant manager at the Family Dollar and asked me if I was interested in working..I said, yeah, but it would have to be part time and if I made too much money it would make my rent go up, so probably couldn't work much more than 20 hours a week(don't think I can handle standing on my feet for much longer than that a week either).So I went in today and talked to Thom the manager and filled out the application and took it back..I knew he would already be gone so I gave it to Inky and said most of the places I had worked were out of business except for Hastings and he said, 'hell, it doesn't matter, you already have the job.'...He said Thom said I would probably start Monday(he told me Thursday)...so one of the two..He asked me if I had any days I couldn't work and I said no, except during Football season that I couldn't work when the Cowboys were playing...He laughed, and I said, no, I'm serious..I can't work and miss the Cowboys..I can work while they're on, but I don't think you'd like me at the register with ear phone hooked to a radio and me screaming 'run mother fucker run'... He assured me they could work around the Cowboy's schedule..
As for Babs and my little 4 fucking hour jaunt into town..you can read about it on her blog...All I will say is I think we sang 'Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, my friends all drive Porsche's I must make amends...'just fucking beautiful'...When I hit that really high note on Worked hard all my life time ...well, dogs howl...and baby's cry...it's a thing of beauty...Babs has some fetish about weird yard toys...I insisted she get some gnomes, but she has an aversion to them...which is why I went and bought one and I'm going to sneak over to her house tonight and plant it right in the middle of her flowers...It's a little gnome with a shovel...I call him 'Dude'....We went to the used shit store, where we ran into one of the other little ole ladies from the Apts. she sort of reminds me of the absent minded witch on Bewitched...Then we hit the hardware store, where I was pissed to find out that bird seed went up from $3.99 to $4.49 for a 20 lb. bag...jeez Louise...Found some more flower/vegetable seeds...only found basil for herbs...Westites think paprika and pepper are the only spices and the only herb is...well, I don't think they use herbs...We hit both grocery stores and both Dollar stores, went to Jack & Diane's where we got to meet Jack and Diane...Jack is huge and Diane was busy counting the money from the machines...I shot a game of pool and sucked big time..I can't see to play with these damn bi-focals...Babs had BBQ sandwich with fries and banana pudding...I had a cheeseburger and a unsweetened tea...I should have waited till Bold Springs Baptist Church makes their hamburgers as all hamburgers pale in comparison to theirs...We left the house about 12:30 and got back around 4:30..what in the hell we did for 4 hours is beyond me...But we had fun...I got 2 canisters with blue bonnets on them...really kind of girly for me, but as they are Texas flowers, it made it ok...Babs got a tacky ugly frog...and we got to sing songs to the citizens of West....I wish you could have seen us singing 'staying alive staying alive..ah..ah..ah.ah..staying alive'..in her suv...waving our fingers and bobbing our heads...giggling like 9 year olds...It's fun to have a partner in crime..plus with the 2 of us as a team, it makes the cops think twice before hauling our asses off to jail..Life is good...fuckme till I sing bass...

20 comments:

Cherlee's said...

Hiddy Hun Congrats on the job!! And I'd love to hang with you and Babs you sound like you two have a blast! I envy you. Also I love your sense of humour you always make me laugh. Sending hugs
~Cherlee~

tsduff said...

Absent minded witch on Bewitched... you mean Aunt Hagatha? ha ha - and uh - Jack and Diane? I think I've heard a song about them before... Sounds like a great career move hon :)

Kalibitch said...

"He assured me they could work around the Cowboy's schedule"

You fucking ROCK! What a way to keep control of what you want in life. I bow before your greatness.

Nit Wit said...

I didn't think anyplace was open when the Cowboys played, except the sports bars that is. I told Babs what gnomes do and that ugly toade eat them. I also asked when you two were going to go to the sports bar to watch NASCAR. I told her we could take up a collection for bail.

yellowdog granny said...

cherlee:babs and i know what is important in life..fucking with people..
tsduff:yeah, aunt hagatha..she looks and reminds me of her..really.hey, at my age career is the last thing i am worried about ..getting bored and going wackkko and kicking the shit out of a republican is what i worry about..
kali:I'm telling you..life is about priorities...and cowboys on sunday..that's a number one priority...
nitwit:oh shit..babs in a bar watching nascar?holy shit..someone say something bad about matt and she'd be all over them like white on rice...dont' think they set bail high enought to cover what she would do to them...

Babs said...

I can't believe you put a fucking GARDEN GNOME in my yard!! I will get you back.... I believe Nit, garden gnomes steal souls at night.
Thanks for the kolache. I did finish it, so flaky and yummy. I'll try the sausage one later.

Did I mention that I'll get you back?? Fucking garden gnomes.

rebecca said...

Hey, you gotta watch out for those Garden Gnomes! Hahahahahahahahaaaa!!!!!

jan said...

I thought the entire state of Texas just shut down when the Cowboys played. Amulance and police put you on hold. Firemen brought fire extinguishers and left. Well, that's what i heard.

more cowbell said...

I admire your fortitude in assuring your NFL schedule. That kicks ass.

yellowdog granny said...

babs:don't talk shit about "Dude"....he'll suck your soul out while you sleep..bring him back over to my place if you don't want him, a gnome named Dude, needs to be wanted or he gets cranky..
You needed to know what good kolaches taste like, them ones at the czech shop are for the tourist..but the other cookies and fudges and stuff are really good...let me know how you like the sausage and cheese one...a west, texas invention...
rebecca:yah,babs doesn't know what she's messing with if she pisses them off..
jan:we have been trying to convince the Capital in Austin, to make any day the Cowboys play a state holiday, but so far it's a wash...
morecowbell:somethings are worth putting up a fight for..

billy pilgrim said...

congrats on the dollar store job.

let me know if dollar stores are the nerve center for the chinese takeover of the western world.

i suspect there is more to a dollar store than meets the eye.

texlahoma said...

I always liked the line "Dialing for dollars is lookin' for me."
I think I know why bird seed went up, there was a refinery fire somewhere in the world and of course OPEC.

kath said...

A job?! ack! No fun..
However.. I hope that that Thom guy knows that his place will never be the same.. no bipping!

yellowdog granny said...

billy:I think the chinese have already taken over the world..check the tags, or bottoms of everything in your house..if 3 items says made in usa, I'll personally come to canada and walk ruby...this is going to be soo much fun..one of my longest dearest friends and my best friends youngest daughter will be my co-workers..how much fun will that be..inky and i are already plotting to make life a new adventure for sara...she'll never know what hit her..
tex:dialing for dollars in trying to find me..wait for delivery each day unnnnntil 3, oh lord won't you buy me a cooooloooor tv...goddess i love that song...my favorite is at the very end and she says'that's all...and that cackle...I do a great impression of her singing this song...some day i will make a cd and give it to everyone for christmas..or april fools..ha.
i know that $4.49 for 20 lbs of birdseed isn't that much, but fuck..i buy from 3-5 bags a month...bastids..
kath:there is always bipping...

Rainwolf said...

Sounds like a good time, even tho you did get a job out of it.
Singing in the car, priceless.

yellowdog granny said...

rainwolf:I sing in the car all the time..I keep my radio on 95.7 oldies but goodies station, and I crank it up as loud as I can stand and sing right along with them..so far babs is the only one that will join in with me...my grandaughters usually turn it down and shake their heads...

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

Congratulations on the new job, Jackie Sue!

You'll have to give me some gardening tips. I'm going to try growing some herbs and tomato plants this spring, with the intentions of putting them out on my patio in the summer.

LostInCO said...

Sounds like a grand day out. Now the job, it isn't going to interfere with your blogging? I hope not.

Josh said...

Welcome once again to the work force. Your new employer must know you well to know not to fuck around when it comes to Cowboys football.

angel said...

oh my goodness- how cool is it that they will work around your football schedule!