I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Monday, March 10, 2008

LIFE IN THE SLOW LANE

It may not be the fast lane but I can guarantee you that any lane that I'm in...is good for a few laughs...and I'm starting to rub off on the least expected people..I was at the library the other day after I was made a Obama Mama and was excited to share my good news and fun stories about it to Nancy..so I lean over the counter and say"Guess what?"...and she says:"You're pregnant!"...and I laughed and said:"hell no, if I was pregnant, I wouldn't be laughing and I would have said. and before I could finish the sentence Nancy says:"you would have said 'oh fuck'..." and then both us us cracked up laughing ...We were giggling like 3 year olds that said poop in church..Then Sat. night Sara comes by to return the vacuum cleaner and is whining about all the hours she is working..20-22 hours at the Dollar Store and over 20 hours at Bush's Chicken..I said 'let me tell you something sweety..when people die and they lay them out in the cemetery, they never have "I wish I had worked more" on their headstone...You're 18 years old..you have your whole life ahead of you to work your ass off, you should be out partying and having fun with your friends...and your Daddy(my best friend David) should be calling me up at 3 in the morning screaming he can't find his daughter'....
What the hell, no one ever listens to me right?....Well, she goes to work today and gives notice at the $ store..only going to work one job and since all of her friends work at Bush's, she's going to keep that job..T. (the boss) said thanks, Jackie, now your hours just went up....What the fuck?....After all these years, someone actually paid attention to me and did what I suggested?....Holy shit!...None of my kids or grand kids every listened to me..Well, that's not true..Jenny and Jamie left the Baptist Church because I taught them not be homophobes and when the Baptists said being homosexual was a sin, they left Bible School and walked all the way home..They said"if my Grandma says it's ok to be homosexual, it's ok with us."..They were 8-9 years old...proud moment in my life, I'll tell you that...
Margaret and Mary came by this afternoon. Soon as General Hospital is over all the little old ladies (including me) go check their mail..She came by to give me some 0f my mail that ended up in her box...I informed her that I had put her down as a alternate for Waco the 29Th of the month...She says"Does it matter if I'm not registered to vote?"....I freaked fucking out...'Your not registered to vote???? No more bitching about Bush for you Missy, until you're registered to vote...' Then I asked Mary if she was registered and she said no...fuck what is the matter with these people...You can't fucking bitch unless you vote..so I went to the Post Office and got the registration forms and will get them registered to vote..Mary said 'you'll have to tell me who to vote for'...
I almost had a stroke...no one can tell you who to vote for, you have to decide this on your own...After telling me she didn't know anything about 'all that stuff'...I told her I would down load all the information from Glassbooth.org for her..and would explain to her what the issues were and where the people running for office stood on the issues...Jeez, sometimes people piss me off..I told Margaret I'm going to kick your skinny ass. I can't believe you do all this bitching about Bush and his crap for the past 7 years and you're not even registered to vote..'...I'm still steamed..I'm going to put a sign up on the bulletin board and let the old farts here know if they want to be registered to vote or need a ride to go vote to let me know...Being an old fart is no excuse..Of all the people voting, they should care the most..sheesh!...
What else can I bitch about.....Babs brought back the Gnome ...I will sneak over there and leave it again..
We've had rain and more rain...but honestly..I'm not bitching about that..especially after reading about how Maine, Ohio and that area have gotten so much snow..Ohio Hottie Kevin said they had 19 inches..holy shit..we were freaking out when we had a couple of inches last year..

OH, good news ...I have been continuing to have low blood sugar, so all day yesterday I didn't take my med's and haven't taken any today...My blood sugar went up to 179 after I had oatmeal with peanut butter, then I had a salad for lunch and after lunch it was 91...So I think I can control my diabetes with out the medication if I just eat right...(yeah yeah, I know...)..but I think I will try it and see what happens...I suppose I should ask Dr. E. but I'm going to try this for 2 days or so and see how that works...if it goes up I can split a pill in two and take half of one twice a day instead of 2 a day..I knew I could kick this diabetes ass...But that means NO Dublin Dr. Pepper..jeez...that sucks..sigh*
Oh, Shady Lane sent me a Texans for Obama bumper sticker...to go along with my We're the deciders by Molly Ivins and the black ribbon that says "enough with the ribbons"...Just think about how many people I piss off when I drive my truck to town.....yupper...life is fucking good....
ps...I just finished reading Duma Key...fucking rocked....little long..but it was vintage King..

22 comments:

Sling said...

Life is good Jackie,and you can pack more into life than anyone I know!
P.S.Thanks for the 'Wal-Mart baby' vid..
I laughed my ass off!

sageweb said...

Wow you are a busy beaver. So I hate taking meds too. I am all for trying to use your diet to control your diabetes but ask your doctor. I would hate for you to have to blog form the hospital.
My gramma is diabetic..94 years old and still cranky. She still sneaks a shot of scotch when the nurses aren't looking.

Big Pissy said...

OMG! I'm SO glad you like Duma Key!

yellowdog granny said...

sling:well, i figure i don't have too many more years left..so better make each one of them packed full of fun and a little adventure..wasn't that video hysterical?..everyone i sent it to emailed me back and said they laughed till they peeed..haha
bigpissy:yeah, i really did like it..not as much as i liked the name of the wind..but it was vintage king..

Gadfly said...

As we used to say when I was in Lubbock, Molly Ivins SO fucking rocks!

She was a hardcore Texas babe

RoxRocks said...

It amazes me when people, especially women, don't vote. The women who came before us and fought for us to have THE RIGHT to vote are all rolling around in their graves!

That being said, we had a provincial election last week and I forgot to vote. Turns out, I was going to vote for the guy who won anyway, so it's all good, right? At least I was registered. LOL!

more cowbell said...

AAAGGGHH! Not registered?! After 00 and 04? Hold on, I'm having a Fred Sanford moment ....

old enough to moan said...

If you were to embark upon a campaign trail encouraging folks to vote it doesn’t sound as if you would have to travel too far!

Do they not realise that they are a part of the system and it begins with them putting an X in a box?

Nit Wit said...

Now who would ever not listen to Jackiesue. Someone who wants to get bipped maybe. Oh for the days when I could work 20 hours a week and still not starve. Looks like you are going to be spending a lot more time in the dollar store.
If I had 19" the girls would never leave me alone. Oh wait your talking about snow. We got about 8" down here. Before the snow started we had freezing rain, sleet, hail, and thunder and lighting that stayed during the blizzard. Strangest weather I've ever seen.
I think with Nancy it has something to do with working at the library. Or maybe it’s the corruption of living in a red state.
Did anyone ever tell Margaret and Mary that women won the right to vote a little while beck.
George Carlin thinks that by not voting he has a right to bitch about all the elected bums. I don't think I agree with his logic. I'm still trying to get my son to register. He will but it took him 5 months to register for the draft when you do it online now.
Finally a ribbon I can get behind. I'm so sick of these people who down to the corner store in their gas guzzlers with support out troops ribbons all over the back.
Gnomes are evil even if they don't look like The Gump.
Better watch that blood sugar. Doc told me mine would most likely go away if I lost 40 pounds or so, but that's no fun.
I finished Duma Key yesterday and it was pretty good. He always does something to piss me off though. Like what happened in the end of Cujo.
I can't believe that N.Y. Governor’s wife stood by his side when he made that statement yesterday. I would become one with a meat cleaver if I was that stupid. I guess some people will do anything for power and status.

Mimi said...

I am super impressed by your grandkids. I used to go to a baptist church w/ a friend and they always sent me home in tears with the stuff they said. They can be harsh.

Good luck with the blood sugar!

joy said...

I get 4 votes at every election. Three of my friends never registered. I finally convinced them to fill out the form about 5 years ago. They still refuse to take any interest in the world around them. So I provide them each with an index card prior to every election. They take it to the booth and copy it onto the ballot. Voila! I get to vote 4 times!

Christie said...

Keep up the good work it's great to know some one out there is! We had a chalk chimpanzee we circulated around , kinda like your gnome. No body wanted that ugly little shit.

Allan said...

Apathy about politics is the reason we are in the position we are in now- get the vote out, JS!

yellowdog granny said...

gladdy:she was one of my favorites...her and ann richards..who i named my cat after...
rox:i have voted every election since i was 25..back when i first voted you had to be 21..election was nov5th i think that year and i turned 21 nov 12..missed voting for goldwater...yes...sad..but true..fucking goldwater..what the hell, i wasn't very smart back then..
cowbell:that's how i felt..and she bitches about bush all the fucking time...judas priest..

oetm:i will be out hustling people to register and vote or suffer the consequences..my foot on their ass..

nitwit:if you had 19 i'd move to ohio..sometimes i don't know what these old farts think...nancy didn't vote eiher, said she hadn't made up her mind yet.....arughghghgh.
carlin is dead wrong on this one...
so far i have done ok with the blood sugar..went up when i ate a individual size of popcorn..but that would be rare..hate to think i couldnt give up popcorn once in a while if i could give up bluebell and drpepper...
if i had been his wife i would have given my own press conference..looking for a lawyer than would gaurantee me everything he owned 'cept his dick...the whore could have it..
mimi:yeah, they are super cool..and thanks to kevin in ohio he's changed the way they think about gay marriage too...
joy:i could tell margaret and mary and even the granddaughters who to vote for, but voting is too important to let someone else make the decision for you..so i make them use their little brains and vote their heart...

yellowdog granny said...

gladdy:she was one of my favorites...her and ann richards..who i named my cat after...
rox:i have voted every election since i was 25..back when i first voted you had to be 21..election was nov5th i think that year and i turned 21 nov 12..missed voting for goldwater...yes...sad..but true..fucking goldwater..what the hell, i wasn't very smart back then..
cowbell:that's how i felt..and she bitches about bush all the fucking time...judas priest..

oetm:i will be out hustling people to register and vote or suffer the consequences..my foot on their ass..

nitwit:if you had 19 i'd move to ohio..sometimes i don't know what these old farts think...nancy didn't vote eiher, said she hadn't made up her mind yet.....arughghghgh.
carlin is dead wrong on this one...
so far i have done ok with the blood sugar..went up when i ate a individual size of popcorn..but that would be rare..hate to think i couldnt give up popcorn once in a while if i could give up bluebell and drpepper...
if i had been his wife i would have given my own press conference..looking for a lawyer than would gaurantee me everything he owned 'cept his dick...the whore could have it..
mimi:yeah, they are super cool..and thanks to kevin in ohio he's changed the way they think about gay marriage too...
joy:i could tell margaret and mary and even the granddaughters who to vote for, but voting is too important to let someone else make the decision for you..so i make them use their little brains and vote their heart...

Nit Wit said...

WOW I'm seeing double and haven’t even had a drink yet. After midnight I hear the call of the hops and have a night off to commune with them.
The Boss asked me who I was going to vote for and said her friend said he was a Muslim. I set her straight on that but when she asked who to vote for I said I'm Voting for Obama but you do what you want it’s your vote.
She voted for Edwards whose name was still on the ballot. She was going to vote Hillary until we discussed NAFTA and what it did to Ohio.
The space shuttle Endeavor took off over night and didn't blow up so one of my computers is going to be stuck on NASA TV for the next 16 days. I think I love empty space because there is so much of it in my melon.

jan said...

I am dismayed when older women don't vote and younger women don't party all night. It is just against nature. I'm glad that you are setting the ladies in Texas straight on all that.

buddha_girl said...

I'm with Sling on the WalMart baby thing. MADE MY DAY.

You go on with your bad-ass self! I'm so glad you're getting out the vote and not just telling people for whom they should vote. You're a TRUE American, Jac.

I had a huge grin on my face when you related the story of steering the girls away from that judgemental sect from hades. Well done!

yellowdog granny said...

nitwit:I wish I could just tell them who to vote for..but I can't..I will lead them to the water, but their going to have to vote themselves..i cracked up today..at 3pm when the old broads went for their mail, i met them with the registeration forms and said fill em out...i'll go mail them for you..and by goddess an hour later, they're banging on the door saying they didn't want their asses kicked so here they were..haha..I picked up a bunch of them at the post office and took some to the library and going to put up a sign at our mail box and say if anyone wants to register to vote or needs a ride to go vote and will leave my phone number...i'm going to check out the nasa channel..never have..oops..
jan:i told them today...when you get that voter card in the mail..your going to be stronger about this than you think..your going to be proud of yourself..I hope so any how..
bg:I want to tell them to vote for obama..but I can't make myself do it...and I'm proud of the girls for not only listening to me about gays/lesbians but that they felt strongly enough about it to act on their feelings..good girls.I loved that walmart baby video but really loved the one with the lady and the lion..made me weep...
anyone that wants to get on the jackiesue forward email list..send me your email address..i get some awesome emails from my friends..

Woozie said...

Would you like some steel-toe stilettos to stomp Mary in her figurative nuts?

trish said...

:) Just wanted to do a stop-by and check out who's been checkin me out. ;) Any 'Merican who loves us Canadians is a damned good 'Merican. :D I like you. You rawk. :D

McRaven said...

My sugars are out of whack because of the surgery. Fasting in the morning is 135. After that it hits 250. Doc added two more pills but it is not coming down...