I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Monday, March 31, 2008

STUMBLEUPON'S.......AGAIN



According to several sites on the net (i.e., possibly apocryphal) personnel executives of 100 major American corporations were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants:
Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.
Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
Brought her large dog to the interview.
Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.
She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.
Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.
Asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.
Announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer’s office.
Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.
Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
Wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.
Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.
Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.
Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.
Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.
Said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.
While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.
A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any further.” He promptly responded, “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” I didn’t hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.
An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.
His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies’ undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.
He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn’t want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.
He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.
Candidate said he really didn’t want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.
He whistled when the interviewer was talking.
Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.
She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.
Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.


gee...no wonder they hired me so fast...I look like a real find compared to these yahoo's....

18 comments:

DoubleDeckerBusGuy said...

Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.

Ah, now c'mon... it was an interview for an "Quality Assurance" position at a "marital aid" company, right?

sageweb said...

Wow I like that...good laughs. You probably were a good find. But you could pull off a couple of those without blinking.

jan said...

The guy with the undies and make up in his briefcase must have thought he was in San Francisco where such items are a resume enhancer. You can't discriminate against the transexual there.

Allan said...

I used to work in nightclubs during the 80's ...being offered drugs at an interview was not so odd back then.

Big Pissy said...

People really ARE stupid! lol

Big Tex said...

What's really funny is that most of the applicants were probably Republicans applying for government jobs, and they probably still got hired. And are doing a "heckuva job" at this very moment. :-)

billy pilgrim said...

i've had a few of those. the most common is asshole candidate argues with me over what the cracker factory does and what the policies are.

yellowdog granny said...

doublebusguy:hey..good to hear from you...yeah, some of the schmucks that interviewed me was enough to send me into a fit of giggles..
sage:I remember applying for a job and after i got there found out it was for telephone sales..said no fucking way..i hate them people..damn if im going to be one.
jan:he'd probably get hired and made president of the company..
allan:i've done drugs with my boss, but not on the interview..
bigpissy:yeah, but they're good for laughs..
bigtex:no shit...
billypilgrim:they make crackers, what's to know?..ha

That Rude Girl said...

Maybe I should start acting like that during interviews. Then it wouldn't be a big surprise when the rejection letter comes in the mail!

texlahoma said...

The guy that just got up and left was my favorite.

old enough to moan said...

"Can I say what nice teeth you have, may I lick them?" Why do I never get offered the job?

Nit Wit said...

I stumbled over this the other day too. The one I like the best is one I read somewhere else. The guy comes in and sits down, opens a beer and starts discussing the money and how many breaks he would get. Oh he was also smoking in a non smoking office.
Gotta go try to get a nap. I have the duty with the baby later this morning and she's teething and has a cold or the croup. I found out at work tonight. I'm so happy I could ... well you can figure it out.

yellowdog granny said...

rudegirl:how anyone could reject you is beyond me..
tex: i did that once..just listening to their bullshit made me panic and i just got up and walked out.
oetm:haha, i like that one...
nitwit:warm a little pure honey and put it in her milk...it'll make her sleep better..naps are good..when she sleeps..you sleep..

rebecca said...

I actually walked out of an interview without saying a word, once. The creepy guy kept staring at my chest and calling me "sugar" and "dollbaby." It freaked me out.

He even LOOKED like the stereotypical Creepy Womanizer Boss.

I still cringe just thinking about it.

tsduff said...

Job interviews give me a bad stomach ache (when I'm the one looking to be hired). I hate them. I liked reading about all these weird ones - kind of a kick in the face to all the corporate jocks.

Juanuchis said...

Well, you just can't make this shit up.

McRaven said...

I'm going back to work tomorrow...these stories made me feel right at work. Thanks. :)

yellowdog granny said...

rebecca:i had a boss chase me around his desk once...i was laughing so hard he almost caught me..
tsduff:i bet these are just the ones they can talk about..
janice:stranger than sci-fi
mcraven:your going back to work?...are you nuts?...are you ok?...jeez..