I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Monday, May 12, 2008

JACKIESUE AND BABS GO TO CRAWFORD

There is a thing on line here called Waco yard sale..where instead of actually having a yard sale you can post things you want to sell or buy on line...and I had posted that I wanted to buy, trade or have someone build me some book cases..and this nice lady said she had 3 of them (they sorta look like these)and she would give them to me...all I had to do was come and get them...the only catch is...she lives in Pubic Hair, Texas right outside Crawford...But Babs and I didn't figure that out till we saw the sign that said Crawford 9 miles...I freaked out...figuring they would have black helicopters circling over head and we would be greeted by Secret Service and FBI agents standing around talking into their wrists and coordinating my arrest..Either we snuck in the back way and by passed their check stops or I'm not as notorious as I think I am..
Which is really disappointing..dag nabbit!
Any how, it is just beautiful out there..everything was green and lush...fields and fields of feed corn all about 4 feet tall and the sky was sorta gray looking like it might rain and then it cleared up and was just glorious...(Bush don't know shit, but he did pick a beautiful part of Texas to live in)
We met the lady I had met on line and talked to and she was a joy....She had 13 acres of land with 2 trailers on it..but nice ones..she had just sold the small one that the book cases were in and she said they use her neighbors flat bed for a band stand and have bands play and throw big party's ...we wrangled an invite to their next one, on the promise that I will try and get Donna Beckham to come play too..I really did enjoy meeting her..she was smart and sweet..and had a great sense of humor as the first thing I said when I got out of the truck was that I figured that the free book cases was just a ruse by the Bush Administration to get me to Crawford where I would be met by the Feds and Secret Service and I would never be heard from again..that's before hello..I'm Jackie, I'm here about the book cases..ha.
These were some big ass book cases..one was 4' by almost 7' and the other 2 were 2'x 4'....and made out of 1/2 solid wood..made at her family's cabinet shop..After Babs, C. and I loaded them in the back of the White Charger, I laughed and said..'look...not a penis anywhere around'......we're bad...
So off we go back to West, on the lookout for black Suvs and men in black..We passed some place called the Hog Pen that served BBQ and had a band and dancing...I think I would have driven that far for a cold one and a pig sandwich back in the day, just to tell everyone that I ate at the Hog Pen. Babs and I sang along to the radio till we got to Elm Mott when the gate on the truck flew open and I pulled into the parking lot of some truck stop and after closing it told Babs, we some lucky mother fuckers...we could have lost all three of those book cases out of the back of the truck....if they hadn't been so damn heavy they would have ....I figured while we were right down the road from the closest Dairy Queen to West we should stop in and pee and have us an ice cream cone...which we did..Lordy it was good..Babs had hers chocolate dipped, but I'm a purist and like my ice cream sans chocolate..
It was about 20 minutes till 8 when we pulled in and since everything shuts down at 8 I took Babs to Community Grocery so she could get a brisket so I could fix it for her..Babs didn't know a goodun from a badun so I had the kid behind the counter bring out some so I could try and bend them...if they don't bend in the middle it means there is more fat than meat..if they bend and are pretty flexible then there is more meat than fat...Then Babs decided she wanted some Cajun turkey breast and then she got me a lb. and we're steadily harassing the kid behind the meat counter...and after the last lb. of Cajun turkey breast I said..ok, it's official, we're assholes...then to prove it we went to work where it's almost straight up and down 8pm...and I'm famous for telling people when it's 10 till 8 that we are closing in 10 minutes...5 minutes and we're closing...so when I show up with my nose pressed to the window saying 'open ..open ..open'...Inky was not a happy camper...that will teach him...so I asked him if I could borrow his 3 kids and he called Anessa and she showed up with 2 of them, and lucky for me..the two that are good workers..so they got all the books into boxes and lugged them into the living room and then they brought in the book cases..about 30 minutes..Annie is having a field day jumping from them to the table, to my chair, to the computer desk and back..I'm sure she thinks I bought them for her especially...So it's midnight and I have rubbed the brisket down with a home made rub and it's in the oven set for 200 degrees and will cook all night long..I cut it in half and she put the rest of it in her freezer...when she gets through eating this half, we can do the other half...but would take 2 days to cook that 171/2 lb brisket..$24 at $1.39 lb. Not a bad price at all.
Now I have to figure out if I'm going to repaint these book cases...two are tan and the big one is a pale green..figure what the fuck...will put them where I want them and fill them full of books and worry about painting them later...I want to move the bed and make room for one of the small ones in there..one in the dining room and one in the living room...or all in the dining room..decisions decisions ....sigh*
But the best thing is I think I made a new friend..and I'm crazy about her little fat bulldog and the beauty of her property..even if her neighbor is an asshole...
Babs and I sang to the radio all the way to and from and I'm telling you ....we may not sing as good as Janis, or Jimmy Buffet and I was always to drunk to learn all the words to any of the songs we sang, but by Goddess...we were loud..'searching for my lost shaker of salt....'

21 comments:

Big Tex said...

Mmmm, brisket....

I hear that the Chimp is going to be residing in Dallas after he finally gets his worthless ass out of office. Which seems wrong to me - surely there's some sort of law against dumping toxic waste within the city limits.

Kulkuri said...

That horse looks pissed and with good reason, his asshole looks like aWol. Or maybe it is having a hard time shitting aWol out!!

One of the Jimmy Buffet songs I like is Livingston Saturday Night and I like the line about my head hurts, my feet stink and I don't love Jesus.

Back to aWol and Crawford, he only bought his goat farm when he decided to run for Pres so he could be like his hero St. Ronnie and have a place to cut brush. At least Ronnie rode horses at his ranch, aWol is afraid of anything that is smarter than him, so he rides around in a pickup.

rebecca said...

LOL @ Big Tex's comment.

Anonymous said...

Thanks YellowDog Granny, it was my pleasure meeting you and Babs. Brutus says come back anytime :) CJ

billy pilgrim said...

to dip or not to dip a cone?

tough call, but i'm with babs.

Nit Wit said...

The Secret Service and other Feds were busy serving drinks at Drunk Jenna's wedding to the Social Climber.
Wait till he finds out that being related to The Gump will automatically become as popular as he is.
If you put enough books in the book cases you won't be able to see enough to tell if they have any paint on them.
A Tiskit A Taskit, a Brisket in a Basket! That's a great price for Brisket. It must be nice to live where the Steers walk right up to the door of the super market to be processed.
You and Babs are starting to expand your stompin grounds. Bush will move away from Crawford if he knows what's good or him.
I can hear the Secret Service now, "Sir, you have to move, we have no defense against Jackiesue and Babs and like them too much to get in their way.

Rainwolf said...

That sounds like a most excellent road trip.

yellowdog granny said...

bigtex:brisket good..very juicy..
you know bushie makes his own rules...i hope they make his life miserable..with marches, picket's etc..
kulkuri:that used to be one of my slams for people..'your feet don't match, you wear totesack drawers, and Jesus don't love ya..' and i will repeat for the umteenth time..it's not a fucking ranch..ranches have either livestock or crops..all he's got is them 2 dogs...and no i wasn't talking about the daughters..so by all rights it's a compound. sigh* I feel better now..
rebecca:yup, funny runs in our family..
billy;chocolate is good on most things but i like my dairy queen cones with just ice cream...
nitwit:i have books coming out my ass...really...I have put 2 shelves pull of kids books, one for movie, music and tv..one for plants and animals..and still have 8 boxes of books..farq! haven't heard from babs about the brisket but i had a sannywich with it and it was very good and juicy...which is hard to do as brisket can get dry very fast if not cooked right..81/2 hours in the oven at 200 degrees did it..
you know he's moving to dallas when he gets out of the for shame house...hope it was because of me.
rainwolf:it was fun and the country out there was just beautiful...

Nan said...

I am experiencing serious bookcase envy. Doesn't matter where we live -- there's never enough shelf space.

angel said...

who'da thunk such a long car trip could be so much fun!

unokhan said...

don't despair -- you could still be on a no-fly list or two.

sounds like you're gonna have room for more library book sales...

never heard of the bending method of evaluating brisket but the internet bears you out...one feller sez u ought to be able to fold it in half "like a wallet"

if you ever come to louisiana, allons manger!

old enough to moan said...

I read a book about a bloke who took a fridge on a trip around Ireland [Tony Hawks - UK comedian], for a moment then I thought you were going to the likewise with the bookcases around Texas. What a film that would make!

yellowdog granny said...

nan:yup..i was all excited till i started filling the shelves and realized...i need more book cases..
angel:lifes to short not to have fun..
unokhan:yup..im afraid to fly..i know they have me on that list..
yeah, one of the kids at west food mart, one of our 2 local grocery stores is the one that showed me how to pick a good one...usually he just picks it for me, he's reall good at it..oohhh, i'd love to come to louisiana...love cajan food, and want to ride on the streetcare named desire one time..
oetm: not with the gate of the truck keep flapping open..those book cases were big and heavy...i liked the guy who took pictures of people sitting on the red couch..

Kalibitch said...

no chocolate? gasp!!

Josh said...

I thought for sure that you and Babs were going just to crash Jenna's wedding. I read somewhere that the man who married them is an Obama supporter...

I wish I had someone to rub *my* brisket down.

That Rude Girl said...

That's great you made a new friend, got free bookcases for all of your books and made it home safe without encountering the Secret Service or the FBI. LOL!

Gadfly said...

Don't paint good wood! Finish Finish! AAArrghhh!!!

*pant pant*

I may have strained something...

yellowdog granny said...

kali:not on my dairy queen cones...i like it..just like it without better..
josh:come on down sweety..i'll rub your brisket..i thougth about crashing the wedding, but why press my luck.
gaddY;oh it's already been painted..if it wasn't i would stain it and put about 3 coats of semi-gloss poly on it...or maybe tung oil..but it's already been painted..2 are a beige and the big one is a pale green..

unokhan said...

i like where gad's coming from here.....one of life's small thrills is applying industrial-strength stripper to painted old wood and seeing what's under there. it's messy and caustic but the payback can sure be smiley fun...

texlahoma said...

I love brisket!
I think it would be fun to follow you two around with a video camera and make a documentary.

Anonymous said...

Gadfly & unokhan,
The bookcases are made out of paint grade material (Poplar) and no finish or stripper will make them pretty.
The precious bookcase owner


YellowdogGranny, if you need more shelf clips just let me know.