I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Friday, May 16, 2008

LIFE, DEATH AND STUFF

I don't feel old until someone dies...and in this case it was John Phillip Law..for those of you who don't know who he was...if you ever saw Barbarella or The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming..you saw him..He was in many more movies, but those are 2 that stand out..in Barbarella he was the blind angel Pygar. At the time he and Jane Fonda were two of the hottest people in the world...In The Russians are Coming he played a sweet Russian youth who falls in love with a local American girl when a Soviet submarine runs aground off a peaceful New England island town. It's one of my favorite movies. Alan Arkin, Carl Reiner, Theo Bikel and John Phillip Law were in it...was terrific...He also played World War I ace Baron Manfred von Richthofen in the Red Baron, was in Hurry Sundown which also had Michael Caine and Jane Fonda..it sucked..but he was terrific eye candy...What freaks me out is....he was 70....dang..when did he get to be 70..when did everyone I know turn so fecking old and start croaking..???????
sigh*...
I have managed to put up 2 of the book cases and the third is up but I'm still trying to figure out how much distance I want between the shelves...It has adjustable shelves and will need to get some more clips as I think I want more shelves than it's set up for..which also means I'll have to get some more shelves..fuckity fuck fuck fuck..and then again I just make do with 4 shelves for now and do the rest later..I'm still up to my ass in books..I swear they're breeding..and speaking of books..I found this book....I paid $.50 for it at Caritas...You are probably wanting to know why I would buy this piece of shit book..So..I'm going to tell you...I'm going to do something I have never done before...I am going to destroy a fucking book...I'm going to tear each and every page of the book out and rip it into as many pieces as I can...because this book doesn't deserve to live...it's shit and hopefully I got to it before anyone else got a chance to read it..I was going to read it so I could tell you how horrid it is...but I didn't even want my eyes to be subjected to such crap..the title alone was enough to make me go psycho in the store...and to top it off, while showing a dad and his about 9 year old son some Bugle Boy underwear...the son said.."Iwouldn't wear that, I'm not a fag."...I stopped dead in my tracks and in the middle of a sentence and said 'what?'....he just looked at me and his dad said, what's the problem?...and I said, I'm just surprised that a parent would allow his child to say such an ugly word and not get reprimanded for it...The Dad took his son by the arm and marched him right out of the store...not a word was said...I wanted to bip the Dad, but refrained...and let me tell you...it was fucking hard...real hard, I'm telling you...very very fucking hard...So I can show some restrain...but it was fucking haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard.
We have a new kid at work...he's a Sr. in high school and graduates this year and is going to college where he's taking business...He's a really good kid, smart sweet and I have given myself 2 weeks to corrupt him..His name is Layetheneldhenlae. something..Laysomething..So since my brain works in mysterious ways and can't call him small fuck...I figured that might be hard to say all the time, so I call him Frito...He is going to have a case of whip lash by the end of next week from whipping his head around after I say something off the wall...Like today when my check is still not showing my new raise(and get another one in July) Thom handed me a pay out from the register of the difference, when Inky said what's that for, I said that's for the blow job I gave him yesterday, didn't I tell you about the deal we made?...Lay's head snapped around like a rubber band..and Tom, bless his heart just put his head on the top of the wall by the register and shook his head...Some days I just love being me..
My friend David O.'s eldest daughter woke me up this am and said her cousin had been killed and they were all going to be going to the funeral in Nebraska and could I come by and take care of their dogs Nelson and Pedro?...of course....They were all freaking out and trying to get all organized and then they all thought 'who's going to watch the dogs?'....and they all said at the same time...'Jackie'.......but of course..David would be there during the week, but on weekends, he's out proving that he's a slut..his words...he called me bragging about bagging 2 women..one is 25 and one is 50...I said 'yes, you are a ho.'...he's so proud..Hmm, what else is going on?...My old boyfriend James is back in town...I want you to know..every time I see him, he gets better looking...
Oh, I got groped in front of the store today by Chainsaw..He and Chief(used to be the police chief of West) were coming out of the store when I was getting out of truck to get my pay check..I yelled out...'look at those old farts'....and then they gave me my hug and Chainsaw who is damn near blind, grabbed my left boob and said..'Oh, it's Jackie'....He's 80something, blind as a bat and doesn't get any action...so what am I gonna do?...smack him?...I just laughed and shook my head..Some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you..
I'm off to take a shower, I'm so tired I'm left handed....fuckme I'll never dance again...

29 comments:

Big Tex said...

Man, what an ugly book - I'm not usually one for destroying books either, but that one's not fit to use for kindling, so you're doing the right thing. As for that little brat, you should have asked him how he knows what kind of underwear "fags" wear. His dad needs to be kicked in the sack really hard and repeatedly until he's no longer able to reproduce.

Nit Wit said...

Oh boy Barbrella. That was the first R rated movie I ever saw. I worked as the janitor at the Base Theater on Otis AFB. Cape Cod Mass. and had my own key. Got to watch all the movies and eat candy and popcorn for free. Plus I got paid $16.00 a night.
The Russians Are Coming was a great movie. I'm Glad you mentioned it now I can put it on my NETFLIX list. Sorry to hear he died and I can’t believe he was 70.
You’re corrupting our nation’s youth, not to mention your boss. Good job!
I did a search and read a little of a case study in the book. The bottom line was that the Mom wanted a little girl after 3 boys and must have communicated that to the shy sensitive boy who with a rich imagination who much preferred spending time with her rather than the macho father and athletic older brothers.
They were going to fix it though by forcing him to spend his time with Dad and the other boys and I guess cut Mom out of his life mostly. Must have screwed the kid up for life.
Run it through a shredder and flush it down the crapper though that's too good an end for it.
It's funny how Chainsaw recognized you right away once he grabbed your boob.
Gotta go figure out how to wash out my brain.

Nan said...

John Phillip Law was 70? I'm not sure which depresses me more -- finding out he's now dead, or being reminded that we're all getting older by the second. Just saw "The Russians are Coming" on tv a week or two ago on AMC. He was indeed eye candy.

Glad you said something to that kid's father -- if nothing else, the kid learned (at least briefly) that attitudes his parents might tolerate or encourage aren't necessarily going to go over real big with the rest of the world.

unokhan said...

books have the power to do good, and books have the power to do harm. at work i am sometimes duty-bound to direct patrons to odious things upon their request. librarians are supposed to always remain neutral. we get requests for corn-dummy religious stuff every day of the week and i just shrug inwardly and take em to the 200's.

can't believe you intervened with the brat boy and his dumb dad. ol' lady, you got some cojones

Kulkuri said...

nitwit, when were you at Otis?? I was there in '69 and when Tricky Dicky cut the budget I got discharged early in '70. They couldn't afford to pay me so I went home.

Recognizing someone by feeling a boob is a good trick and I'll have to remember that.

billy pilgrim said...

i totally loved the russians are coming. paul ford and jonathon winters alawys made me laugh.

don't worry dena, when the time comes i'll summon the wind and we'll fly off together.

kvothe

yellowdog granny said...

bigtex:ugly is right and parents raising kids to think it's ok to say the word fag is ugly too...bastids..
nitwit:yea, the russians are coming is one of my favorite movies..and i wanted to look like barbarella, the closest i got was someone asking me for my autograph thinking i was nancy sinatra..
no one has boobs as big as mine that would call them 'old farts' in the middle of the street..yah, i love corrupting the old and the young..thom is still shaking his head over the blow job remark..
nan:yup, thinking he was 70 freaked me out a bit..blind angels aren't supposed to get old and die.oh, im forever saying things that i shouldn't but most of the time i dont regret it..and that was one of those times..
unokhan:that's why when the local library asked me to be the librarian I said no...I have opinions..and will voice them and as a libraian..i can't ...so i just volunteer and get my digs in when i can..
kulkuri:im sure it was also my deep voice and the fact that i called him and chief old farts...that was a dead give away..
billy:summon the wind and lets fly away soon...and I have been checking up on this island off italy that looks like the perfect getaway...and can we take jonothan winters with us?

Nit Wit said...

I was at Otis as a dependent from 68 through 72 and was a long haired hippy freak most of that time.

I still love the reason Jonathon Winters got committed. This was before Mork and Mindy. He was supposedly found on the beach on an island trying to paddle away from California.

Anne Johnson said...

Hey if you still have that book, send it to me! We at "The Gods Are Bored" are always looking for good literature to skewer. Why just rip it apart and throw it away when you can rip it to pieces in a series of blog posts?

Sling said...

Anne is right!..You can't let an opportunity to hold blatant ignorance up to public ridicule pass.

yellowdog granny said...

nitwit:i remember as a kid hearing on tv that he had climbed up a telephone pole and wouldn't come down and he went away for awhile...i love jonothan ..
anne:the book is yours..you'll do a much better job at exploiting it than i could..and i'd rather stab both my eyes out with a #2 pencil than read it..ha
anne:you'll have to go to her blog and read it...she'll do a great job on it..i'd just get mad and say fuck alot..haahahh

Gadfly said...

I can't even comment on the rest. That book is still giving me the heebieJeebies

O_O


Good luck on the corruption of the young Liebensraum ... or whatever his name is. ;-)

Elizabeth said...

"It's for the blow job...." Ha! It's always fun just reading about you being you. xoxo

Cheesemeister said...

With me, they'd grab my ass and say "Oh, it's the Cheese."
I thought John Phillip Law was cool. Since on film you're frozen in time, I never much considered the fact that he was actually the same age group as my parents. Barbarella was pure cheese. Great fun!
My married guy friends Brett and Dave would surely love to have that book around--next time they run out of toilet paper!

Rainwolf said...

Blink, blink.
I don't know why I'm shocked there is such a book, but there it is.
The kid's father took him out of the store becuase he's the one who taught the little fucker that language and didn't have the balls to admit it. Assholes abound.

kath said...

Jac, I love you, your bad mouth and your quick wit. It always makes me feel good. I love your reason for buying the book and even though I never thought I would say this, That is a book that deserves to be burned. sad, sad, sad.

por Layoendnnwjberzz doesn't know what he is in for.. lol

Kalibitch said...

~shaking head~
some peopes. so stoopid. good on you for speaking up. I almost had a heart attack when you mentioned ripping up a book until i saw the cover. ~gah~
so my Cabana Boy is sneaking off to an island getaway with you? ~sigh~ broken hearted long time. :P

texlahoma said...

Don't put any space between the shelves. Sure, you'll just have one shelf but it will be really strong.

yellowdog granny said...

gaddy:yup, creeped me out..
oh poor lay, or as i call him frito...he has the deer in the head lights stare most of the shift..
elizabeth:and i would like to say that when i said it, it was planned...nope just opened my mouth and out it came...some times i am just as shocked at what i say as the people i shock..
cheesey;im thinking to prepare myself for the next time i see him, im getting a mouse trap and set it right on my boob...that should teach him..
kath:i think that anne johnson from gods are bored will do a great commentary on it...im sending her the book monday or tuesday...can't wait for her post on it..
kali: his your cabana boy, but he's my kvothe...you have to find time to read the name of the wind...trust me....you'll love it...
tex:it has 4 shelves and the other book cases has 3 so that's 11 shelves and i still dont think i will have enough for all the books...

That Rude Girl said...

It sounds like you make the workplace fun. Especially retail!

mrsb said...

Just stumbled across your blog and read a few posts. Made me laugh, made me cringe, and made me mad (that someone would write such a awful book!). I'm hooked. Can't wait to read more!

heartinhand said...

I frigging love you!

jan said...

Young kids around here are using fag and gay as their "words of the day." They don't know why. A few months ago everything was "pimp." A few months from now they'll find other words to use. I asked one of the teachers about it and she said the more attention they paid to the words kids used, the more they used them. If they ignored them, the words got replaced.

yellowdog granny said...

rude girl:lifes to short not to have fun..
heartinhand:cool!
jan:my granddaughters used to say oh that's so gay...or he's so gay..we had a long talk about other peoples feelings and by using the word gay as a put down you were saying it was bad to be gay...and they no longer use that word...

yellowdog granny said...

mrsb:well welcome and thanks for stopping by and saying howdy..come on by anytime..there is no cover charge and we're open all night...

Josh said...

Oh man, even the blind can recognize you from yer boobs... that's pretty impressive.

Nicolosi and his ilk sell pipe dreams to parents in denial about their children. I hate it more on their behalf than on behalf of the actual gays, because it gives them an excuse (no matter how flawed) to not be accepting of their child.

Josh said...

BTW, Pygar was indeed a hot-ass angel.

yellowdog granny said...

josh:what's funny is ...other that looking at them, that is as close to them he's ever gotten..so figure he must have done a lot of day dreaming about them..which is scary in it's ownself...eeeew..

tsduff said...

Had to stumble right over here to get my fix - fix of funny, and fix of mad, and all the other "fixes" you so freely provide.Hugs - hope you are feeling better.