I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Monday, June 02, 2008

ASK THE GODDESS


Yes, I'm back...Freya the Goddess of Love and War. I'm here for a little R&R...you can say what you want to about Valhalla, but some of those warriors can be a pain in the ass after 3-4 days of swilling mead.."Pull my finger" gets really old after awhile. So I thought I would visit the Yellowdog, but she's doing something called laundry. I don't know why she just doesn't buy new clothes when her other clothes get dirty, or why wear clothes at all... But after seeing the size of her ass, I can see why she keeps it covered.
Humans, it's time for you to test me and ask the Goddess any question you want..I'll be here till Friday, so make them good...Don't waste my time on 'who's going to win the super bowl' either. The Goddess doesn't care about sports, that's the Yellowdog's area of expertise and she'll just tell you the Dallas Cowboys, like she has for the past 10 years..Ask away...make me proud...

28 comments:

Sling said...

How many times can a woman go through menopause??
I only ask because every day on Oprah,she brings us yet another book that,'Changed her life'..

Lakota said...

Dear Goddess,
why do men insist on leaving up toilet seats?
ps - please let JackieSue know i've moved to a new house so she can find me. xxx K

mrsb said...

Dear Goddess,

Will I be able to get through the last 11 days of school without attacking the smarmy self righteous PTO bitch mom from my 9 year old's class?

And please tell me they won't be in the same class next year, as they have been for the last 3! I can't take another year of her.

buddha_girl said...

I can't think of a damn question just yet.

However, I OFFICIALLY love Mrsb - she's in hell right now. I HATE moms like her PTO bitch mom. I say she attacks the bitch and lets us take up a blogger collection for bail. It's only fair.

Winston said...

Yo, Goddess... Why do women insist on putting the toilet seat down? Don't they know what an inconvenience that is for us peckered people?

Lav said...

1. Why the fuck do men only want what they can't have?


2. Why are some women such nasty piece of shit who try to manipulate and ruin other people's lives?


3a. Why the hell does every new guy I meet want to just fuck me?

3b. Send me nasty (pornographic) messages on my phone?

Please please please answer question number 1!!!!

Lakota said...

LOL @ Winston!

Big Tex said...

Goddess,
Is George Bush the stupidest president in American history, or the greatest performance artist since Andy Kaufman?

joy said...

I admired some iris plants at someone's house, so she pulled up a bunch of bulbs and put them in a paper bag. Now, what do I do with them? Be nice...I'm horticulturally challenged.

rebecca said...

Goddess,
Why do women get arrested for breastfeeding discreetly in a city park, but they can put huge billboards up advertising "Hooters" all over the place and nobody says anything?

sageweb said...

Dear Goddess,
WHy are these right wing nut jobs spending all this money to ban me from getting married when there are children starving?

buddha_girl said...

I want Lav's 3b question answered. Pronto.

Some assclown sent my HUSBAND a video through the damn phone of a chick FISTING HERSELF. Whether true or photoshopped hell, it was HORRIFIC. I humiliated the guy in public the next time I saw him. There have been no further shots of fisting.

Anne Johnson said...

Dear Goddess,

How come so many people call you and yours "myths?" You look pretty doggone real to me, just as real as the Bible god.

Allan said...

How long before I get fired from blogging from my new job?

texlahoma said...

I'm a bit of a hermit and don't like visitors. Should I hook up my doorbell so that it will electrocute anyone that rings it?
Do you think anyone would notice a pile of dead Jehovah witness's on my front porch?

unokhan said...

nina simone or gil scott-heron?

Christie said...

Goddess are we really in a recession and how do we get out?

mrsb said...

LOL at Texlahoma! Can I throw a few Verizon salespeople on your pile?

Nit Wit said...

When is open hunting season on redneck assholes who think the universe revolves around them?
I gotta buy a new gun before then.
I might need an alibi too.

old enough to moan said...

Why the hell do I want what I can't have and why can't I have it?

billy pilgrim said...

pacman or t.o.

who's gonna turn into an asshole first?

LostInCO said...

Goddess, is it possible for me to live without internet access at home?

joy said...

And one more thing Goddess, can you turn off the wind machine for a few days? If this keeps up, I'll be living in Kansas instead of OK.

BBC said...

You really think you are a Goddess? The good ones I know get along well with their men.

BBC said...

Why the hell does every new guy I meet want to just fuck me?

Why would a man want to be with you if he didn't want to fuck you?

Phone Phreak said...

How come no one appreciates my fisting videos?

mrsb said...

All the Goddesses I've met get along with their men when their men are properly behaving.

That Rude Girl said...

Goddess, when will the economy turn around? I thought things would be better now that George W. is on the WAY out but it's looking like we've got a long, treacherous road ahead.