I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Friday, December 26, 2008

ASK THE GODDESS


I'm bacccccck!...I had to make a short trip to pick up Eartha Mae, she's as much of a warrior as any Marine I know. Everyone was putting on their best duds to greet her, and George Carlin even put on clean underwear. I thought while I was here I'd stop by and see what the Yellow Dog got for the Christian Holiday, Christmas. She's doing a naked dance in the living room. She got 4 bottles of Tabu perfume and every time she farts there are little puffs of Tabu powder shooting across the room. Something about Tabuing her naked ass. I'm sure you all must know what she's talking about.
I'm here to answer all your questions...again, please no political questions or anything about sports. That's the Yellow Dogs speciality...I don't care about politics or sports. So remember that. I'll be back as soon as I carry Eartha Mae home. Be back Monday. My blessings on you..........

25 comments:

Utah Savage said...

What a goddess. I'll be thinking of my question. I'm wondering if I die will my book finally find a publisher? Or something along those lines. Too frivolous? Well, I'll work on it.

Utah Savage said...

I smell your Tabu and raise you two Habanita farts.

Willym said...

I know that it is the job of a Goddess to strike a certain amount of terror in the hearts of her devoted followers but the Tabu fart thing is really scaring me. I thought YDG had given up drinking?

No that isn't my question. My question is: Do people really believe it when a little man with beady eyes who prances around in a long white, lace and brocaded dress; lives with a whole bunch of other men, who wear black, red and purple dresses, in a really overdecorated version of OZ (the city not the prison)guarded by hunky young men in puffy yellow and blue stripped pants, black knee stockings and silver buckled shoes talks about rainforests and homosexuality?

Yes I know its a run-on sentence but its true every word of it.

billy pilgrim said...

will chuck norris and mike huckabee find happiness together.

(romance question, not politics)

Anne Johnson said...

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

Ted said...

*Looks that hot-ass warrior Goddess pic up and down*
Whew, the Lord sure is a lucky...God!
*Bows graciously*

Green tea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tsduff said...

Taboo is a cool song I found years ago on my parents HI FI - it was so cool The visual of YDG puffing Tabu cloudlets is rather difficult.

Question for the Goddess: Will I break down and get a dog again?

Green tea said...

OH great Goddess..

Please tell me if the Sun will ever come out again??

Rainwolf said...

What Green Tea said.........geeeze it's been raining forever.

Should I grow a beard and build an ark?

Lily Strange said...

Just say hello to Eartha. Yellowdog can stick pins in a voodoo doll shaped like the Avalanche logo for me and I'll stick pins a Cowboys logo for her if she wants because these teams are such bones of contention for us this year!

buddha_girl said...

Will I successfully twist fate and get Buddha trained to sleep in HIS OWN DAMN BED?

I am considering using fucking Monster Jam tickets (delivered to our home by the almighty Santa) as a tool. No sleepy in your own bed, no go to Monster Jam. It worked with potty training, right?

buddha_girl said...

One more:

Will Jackie be appropriately punished for sending Buddha a microphone with a SPEAKER?

Just Kim U said...

I'm finally caught up on my reading (meaning I cut down the folks I read *giggle*).

Just stopping by to say hello! :)

Nit Wit said...

I always make sure at least one gift to each Grandkid makes enough noise to cause the parent to disown me. It makes things more peaceful at home.

Goddess, why should I put my trust in you instead of an invisible guy on a cross or some guy promising me 72 virgins?
I think that 72 virgins would be more like a punishment so forget that.

rosemary said...

A cedar tree will be planted in Eartha's honor....now then, I have several questions as this is my last '08 chance and I since am a late comer and have gotten screwed out of a lot of opportunities to ask.

Why is licorice so bad for me with my high BP....and it tastes so damn good?

Winter? Is it really necessary?

Wrinkles? Are they really a sign of a life well lived or The Goddesses way of keeping me an underling?

Lastly, am I cougar material?

Nit Wit said...

Huh?

Woozie said...

If Ask The Goddess is still open, I'd like to know her thoughts on the Dallas Cowboys, especially in regards to their game on the 28th.

jan said...

My question is: What would embarrass Yellowdog Granny?

jan said...

o o o I have another question? What will Yellowdog be doing for the next few weekends now that the you-know-who are out of the you-know-what?

Sling said...

How come,whenever they talk about divorces,lawsuits,or criminal prosecutions,they always refer to the people involved as 'parties'?

Utah Savage said...

What a great bunch of frivolous questions. Don't fuck with the goddess you guys.

joy said...

We recently added 6 goats to our ranch. A friend tells me that was a bad idea because they are the spawn of Satan. Do you know this Satan guy? Has he spawned recently? Were my goats involved?

evilganome said...

While I would like to know why fools fall in love and how does the snowplow driver get to work I really need to know is, why do people insist on bringing baby strollers the size of a Ford 150 into stores and blocking the aisles and why am I not allowed to kill them to put them out of my misery.

I am going to be haunted by the vision of Tabu farts for the rest of my life BTW.

Christie said...

Does the fact that I watch MMA fighting mean I'm into senseless violence, young men with hard cut bodies or both?