I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

GODDESS ANSWERS

Peejay:The Goddess doesn't have a lot of time to watch TV or movies, but the Yellow Dog loves Kill Bill I&II. Being a Goddess I don't need to know kung fu, or any martial arts. I've found that a bold of lightning up the ass works pretty good.
Wendy: there should be an adult warning on this blog...have you read it?...The Yellow Dog uses the word fuck more than most people use the word 'the.' The Goddess also believes in a small dose of child bipping..A few of them upside the back of the head will usually do the trick. People on this planet need to go to parenting classes before they have children.
Allan:People need reasons to alleviate the guilt.
Pom:If your should hurts when you move it?...don't move it.
The Yellow Dog said she would light a candle and say a little prayer for you. When I get it, I'll act on it.
Big Pissy:This is an easy one...Genetics.
ChicagoLady:Yellow Dog said ...too little too late. Then threw the remote across the room.
Cherlee, the best moment in 2008 for me is when right after I brought George Carlin to Valhalla, he, Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce did their stand up act all night long. it was wonderful.
Josh:The Goddess doesn't do sports or politics. But I don't think the world is doomed. The people inhabiting it maybe, but not the world.
Ted, I repeat, no sports no politics. I do know that Jesus is pissed that the Christians are using his name to discriminate against gays and lesbians. He is not pleased.
Kath, the Yellow Dog says right back atcha.
Rox, what kind of female are you?...Make that man of yours help. Women are smarter than men...and stronger-willed..you have what he wants..use it to get your way. If that's not your style...bip him.
Kulkuri: maybe your playing the wrong numbers. I can't help you win but I can tell you that 7 is a my favorite number.
Sage:it's better to give than receive. Maybe you need to make some girls dream come true by hugging her.
Willym: Sigh*...you people on this tiny greedy little planet. If you don't need it, don't buy it. Spend less, save more. Times are going to get a lot worse.
Nan:all questions have answers, it may not be the one you want.
Linda:The Yellow Dog prays for all her friends, I'm sure she will do the same for you, and may you have good health.
Jan wants to know how late is too late. Right after you say'
uh-oh'.
Sling wants a woolly mammoth....No. Do you have any idea how hard it is to transport one of them suckers?...
Bipolar wants to know how to become un-attracted to Keanu Reeves. That's easy ...picture him having sex with your spouse.
Evilgnome:.....a peck!
I'm off...back to Valhalla...Frank, Dean, and Sammy are putting on a show tonight...My blessings on you my children. Go in peace.

17 comments:

Robin said...

OMG! I missed the Goddess? Can I get in under the grandfather act or something? I had a great question! Damnitall!

Robin said...

Okay supreme goddess, I throw myself at your mercy and will be presumptuous by asking two questions:

1. What language do the swiss speak? and,

2. Why salt? I used seasalt on samhain...amazing, any preferance?

yellowdog granny said...

obin:in the north east they speak swiss/german, west they speak romandie, south they speak swiss/italian,and a small group speak romansh.
the languages spoken are german, french, italian and romansh..
sea salt for everything...cause it makes it taste better.

Willym said...

Damn Goddess - sorry that should probably be damn, Goddess, you should be at Delphi. Then you'd have to sit on a rock inhaling some sort of strange smoking and eating laurel leaves which would make you halucinate and go without sex for the rest of your life ... nah we'll just leave you where you do your best work - right here in cyberspace.

Nit Wit said...

I held a question in my mind for 4 days and you didn't pick it up. I guess I really am a cracked egg.
Though I lucked out and didn't have to be on the jury for a creep that molested a 4 year old girl. He copped a plee and I hope he likes wht they do to child molesters in prison. though I think there too easy on them.

bipolarlife said...

Ha! I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes. Thank you Goddess!

jan said...

Once again the Goddess brings order into the universe. All hail.

sageweb said...

Wow good idea I am off to hug some chicks right now.

rosemary said...

Crap.....I missed the question session......I was gonna beg, plead, say anything to get you to skip winter this year.

Anne Johnson said...

FUCK! I missed it too. I was gonna ask that the Eagles pull off a miracle comeback and get into the playoffs. Whaddya say, Goddess?

Big Pissy said...

Thanks, Goddess!

Glad my question was so easy! ;-)

yellowdog granny said...

all blessings on you my children.

Roxrocks said...

I am apparently the kind of female who does everything around here. LOL! Who knew I'd have most of it done by the time I got back to the Goddess? LOL I'll try bipping next time!

Anne Johnson said...

Dear Goddess,

Please tell Granny that I smacked down BBC the only way my computer skills would allow. I luv my Granny and don't want her to go away!

Intense Guy said...

*sits and ponders (in awe) the great wisdom of the Goddess*

LMAO... hey! I could actually say that with a straight face :)

I'm glad you are in such good form Granny!

Green tea said...

Oh great Goddess tell me what you think is in the future for the Governor of Illinois??

yellowdog granny said...

green tea:I see either Joliet or the Federal Pen for him in the future.