I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Friday, February 13, 2009

ASK FREYJA


What a silly holiday Valentines Day is..one day a year to show your love. With flowers that will eventually die, candy that will make you fat, jewels to make you feel good about yourself, and sheer night clothes to make you desirable. The way to show someone that you love them is to be caring, considerate, helpful, and loving, every day of the year. Silly humans.
I am Freyja, Goddess of love, beauty, fertility, war, battles, death, magic, prophecy and wealth. I am the authority on love. If it's not done right, then it's war and death. So I think it is only fitting that on this silly holiday I should be here to answer your questions pertaining to love. I will be going back to Folkvangr with the fallen warriors and you will have until Monday to ask your questions. Blessings on you my children.
Don't be Buttroys and ask about the weather and sports or politics or I shall smite you.

23 comments:

Josh said...

If a significant other says they don't believe in Valentine's Day and explain it away as a manufactured holiday that panders to our base consumerist impulses... should I still get them something anyway?

Ted said...

Never been anything more than another freaking day of the week for over a quarter century now.
My question would be, why do people build such an empty-headed-emotionalism-driven mystique around something that was never supposed to be anything more than a simple biological function...i.e:
"You and me, baby ain't nuthin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on Discovery Channel."

Wendy said...

Ever wonder how many people actually know the basis of St Valentines Day?

I was a florist for what seems like a million years which was really 15, all I can say is red roses suck be original and get something different you buttroys!

Stephen Rader said...

So true. Let those you love know that you love them through actions instead of words. Be there for them, laugh with them, care for them, listen to them, hug them when they cry AND when they giggle. Those things stay with you forever.

Silly holiday, indeed.

Much love to you!

Anonymous said...

Oh Mighty Goddess Freyda, goddess of love, I am in between a rock and a hard place.

I reckon I oughta start by lettin' ya know that me and my old lady have been married for 33 years, we done got 5 kids and now she's knocked up and milky agin.

Now we gotta simple life here in Sheepdip, Oklahoma. And we is about 3 hours from any one of them there gas stations, where they got them toilets and candy. I gets lonely.

Until I met her, she is so purty, like a lil angel. So soft and cuddly. Only she is a critter. A sheep named Daisybell.
I love her, now how do I break it to my smelly fat cow of an old lady without her getting maddern' a jacked-off bobcat

Signed,
Sleepless in Sheepdip

Lilly's Life said...

WTF, these comments! Sleepless in Sheepdip? Ted?

I never believed in Valentines Day until this year. There are so many revolting things going on in the world that I thought perhaps we all should be running around tellingn people we love them. What harm can it do? It doesnt have to be about the commercial side of things at all.

However, then I read something that I found interesting.

Freyda, oh wondrous one, why do most relationship breakups occur on Valentines Day?

And second, this guy I know baked me this interesting shabby chic cake. Now he went to a lot of trouble because he knows I have a sweet tooth. BUT how does one sit there eating this cake which tastes like cardboard and still try and look adoring and grateful? Its tough. Any tips?

PS There is a pic of the cake on my blog goddess just so you can see it in all its glory - it will give you all you need to know to help with my quandry.

Cheesemeister said...

Well, since I said to hell with this love crap back in 2000, I can only hope that things go way better for my son than they ever did for me when it comes to love. As for me, I just want candy. Because since I gave up on love, I don't have to give a crap about getting fat!
I just wonder if its true that it was my fate to be born the day after valentine's day because I am such a curmudgeon by nature.

just me said...

Sleepless in Shipdip, you could introduce her to a handsome young Ram....

Oh, goddess, I am in the waning years of my life, not the twilight years, the ones before that, and I wonder is there a nice 55 to 60 ish man out there who isn't chasing a 22 year old piece of tail....anywhere? Will this lovely queen of her double-wide trailer ever meet her prince charming???

To be real for a second, which is about all I can take these days, I really wonder if at my age I can find a man to laugh with, go to the thrift store with, go to movies with, to care for, love and cherish, and who will do the same for me?

joy said...

If the occasion arises, can I go to Folkvangr instead of Valhalla?

Green tea said...

Dear Freya, Do any of my old boy friends ever think about me and smile??

billy pilgrim said...

should i break out of comfort zone and seek true love?

sageweb said...

Dear Goddess,
I have a good friend that I have a crush on. I never act on it cuz we make such good friends. Should I talk to her about it..or just leave it?

Roxrocks said...

Dear Goddess,
A Moose keeps coming into my yard and I want to get a great picture of it for a retarded friend, however the Moose stays in the bushes and it's hard to get the right shot. Do you have any suggestions that wouldn't involve me actually getting close to the Moose or being injured by said Moose?
I know my problem is a small one, but I think the joy a Moose Picture would bring to a Blohio Retard would be immense! Please advise!

jan said...

Mighty Goddess,

Was I wrong to dump a guy because he put his hand on my dog's face and pushed her away when he thought I wasn't looking?

I might mention that he was not especially rich.

Also how can I meet a great guy like Ted?

Allan said...

Why is Cupid such an asshole?

Anne Johnson said...

Dear Goddess, can you put some more jo in my mojo?

texlahoma said...

A sheep named Daisybell?
In Sheepdip Oklahoma?
That's my sheep!
We are engaged and due to be wed, as soon as the state of Oklahoma reqignizes sheep/human marrigaes!
She is purty, like a lil angel soft, cuddly and she always knows just what to say... baa, baa.

tsduff said...

Does marriage really matter? I used to think it did.

Goddess, I hope you were able to find some humor amongst the human comedy of Valentine's Day. xo

Rainwolf said...

I think VD is an appropriate acronym for the day. Should I worry about this itch?

Lilly's Life said...

OMG these are hilarious.

I think I need the Goddess' advice though because I cannot answer this and my readers need to know. How do you have sex on a moving motor bike? I know that YOU would be the only one to be able to answer this. Thank you in anticipation...

Also Ted seems to have a strange way of attracting the chicks, whats the go???

Woozie said...

In the words of Miss Bonnie Tyler, where have all the good men gone? I see plenty of physical attractions but a hot ass a relationship does not make, at all. I'm so tired of waiting and sometimes it gets me so, so down. People tell me that if I settle today, a true love might come along tomorrow and I'll miss my chance because I settled. It's always tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow, why never today?

more cowbell said...

Oh mighty goddess,

Will I ever give a flying fuck again about being in a relationship? And if so, will it really be necessary to start shaving my legs again?

That Rude Girl said...

Freya, should John and I get married, or is it better to stay single so I can be my own person?