I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Friday, July 03, 2009

FREE PUSSY AND BEER FOR BREAKFAST





Babs has 2 little kitteh's to find homes for..so she said if I would help her hang up the fliers advertising the free kitteh's she'd buy me lunch at Pizza House...so I said 'betchaass'...So we go to Pizza House first as my blood sugar was starting to drop...she had cheeseburger I had fried catfish. And as usual, she gets hers right away and mine is like 10 minutes later. Which happens every fucking time we eat there. I know that cook must be someone I pissed off or punched out back in my drinking days, cause it's an every time event when we go eat there. (we split a skunk egg and it was the best one yet..had jalapeno in it and lots of spices in the batter..I fecking love skunk eggs)As I'm waiting for my catfish(making jokes about them baiting a hook and catching the fucker.), the waitress knocks over a container of dishes, food, etc. I of course laugh...The place is packed and they are short handed and she's up to her ass in alligators. I feel bad about laughing so I go around and help her pick up the dishes and literally scooped the leftover foods up in my hands and dumped it in the garbage. Babs is making fun of me for being a good guy.I finally get my fish which is fantastic by the way. We eat, bullshit with the other waitress, who is usually the one that waits on us and when Babs and I go up front for her to pay for it, they said they weren't going to charge me for the fish lunch as it was late and I helped her clean up all the food and dishes. Haha..So there, told Babs, see it pays off to be a good Samaritan. So we leave there and go to several places to hang up the free kitteh's sign..We go out to Dr.Tom's to hang them at his office and since we were close I suggested we go to Strickly and see if anyone wants a kitteh...I walk in the door and say "anybody want a little pussy?"


(Merle with his maracas and Dennis

with his attitude.)


9 drunks raised their hands. Julio said he could always use a little penuche'(spanish slang for pussy) and even after I explained the pussy was in reference to little furry kitteh's they still wanted some. "Chief" said to ask Merle(one of the 2 gay owners of Strickly) if he wanted some pussy, and I said I was pretty sure ole Merle didn't want any pussy, but Merle said it had been so long since he'd had any, he probably wouldn't know the difference. But "Chief"s girlfriend is interested in the little gray one, so the trip may have paid off. Dennis Porter said he wanted some pussy, but his wife Cheryl said he couldn't handle the pussy he had home. But everyone said I had to make the stuffed jalapenos for tomorrow so now I wish I had stayed home. It's 103 and feels like 108 outside..I came home and the phone is ringing and it's Shady Lane, laughing her ass off. Seems some how Bolish got his hands on a large can of beer and had it for breakfast. Popped it and downed it and gave a big burp and said"that was really good.".....They had to wait to give him his Alzheimer's medicine till noon and were afraid Lane was going to be upset. She said he used to own a bar in Bloomfield, New Jersey (Robs) and having a beer for breakfast was no big deal. But they're way of thinking is some one's ass is in trouble..Pete's friends snuck him a six pack and when Bolish asked for one, Pete said sure. Not thinking anything about giving an 86 year old Alzheimer patient a beer. Ha..So today has been a fun day. Can't wait till tomorrow to take my stuffed jalapenos to Strickly. Will take the camera and take pictures again. (the pictures are of Shady from back in the 80's at the Waco Boat Races.
Everyone have a happy 4th of July...........and have a beer for breakfast and if you get some free pussy...think of me...
FREE PUSSY UPDATE...some lady came by and took both of the kitteh's...hotdang!

26 comments:

Josh said...

And in the end, the free pussies went to a lady! I'll skip on the obvious gay reference I could make and simply say, you probably provided her with a crazy cat lady starter kit. ;)

Yankee Girl said...

That's quite possibly the catchiest title ever.

Sling said...

Wow..I Googled 'Free Pussy' and wound up here!
So technically,Babs still owes you a lunch.

Rox said...

I'm tuckered out reading this! You had a busy day, lady!

jan said...

That has to be the best title in the history of blog titles. I'll be you get a lot of cheap perverts googling you on this one. The stuffed jalapenos sound great.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

josh:oh man that's funny..
crazy lady starter kit..
yankee:i sorta liked it too..has a certain 'ring' to it..ha
sling:monday is bold springs baptist church cheeseburgers and babs said she would buy since i got my lunch for free today..see if the ladies need any help in the kitchen.haha
rox:and that was only part of it..had to go back to town for bread crumbs and inky and i made jokes about free pussy for about 30 minutes..we think we're pretty damn funny.
jan:i already get guys from bulgarian and saudia arabia looking for granny pussy..so i know this will bring the perverts out of the wood work..free pussy and beer..every redneck in the lower us will be here. i am quite fond of the title though..

otilius said...

nice one, YDG!

Galt-in-Da-Box said...

*LMAO @ Josh's blast*
"Late, rack 'im!" - Van Smack

Fired off my complete arsenal of firecrackers and skyrockets tonight.
Am about to make up some burger-steaks and salad then wash it all down with Oak Leaf Merlot.
Happy 4th ta "all y'all" SOBs, especially JSD & Sooner.
Hope U got my email abt SrF being open this wknd, YG...We close dark & early Sunday.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

tanks fred..
galt..will watch the west,texas fireworks show tomorrow..can't wait..

mrsb said...

As I was scrolling through my blog reader, I saw the title "Free Pussy and Beer for Breakfast" and I thought.... that has to be Granny!

billy pilgrim said...

about 35 years ago i learned there's no such thing a free pussy.

a lesson i'll never forget.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

mrsb;well of course..who else?
billy:im sorry to hear that..better luck next time.

tina said...

HAHA that is just awesome and so are you kiddo :)

So...a skunk egg, that is like a chicken egg...in shape and taste or...?

Junebugg said...

Damn, I miss skunk eggs! I believe West, Texas is the only place you can get them. See if you can finagle their recipe or something

Allan said...

Great give-away line!

I used to think of beer in the same way that normal people would think of Wheaties.

texlahoma said...

I bet a beer was good for the 86 year old, he ought to get one every day. Are the little kittens strange?
My old lady told me not to be getting any strange pussy, better not risk it.

buddha_girl said...

I wanted some of those stuffed jalas. Dammit. I may try my hand at making them today. My brother in law's a fine guinea pig for suc things.

SO very glad the kittehs were snatched up. *Ooooooooooooh good pun!* Kitteh. Pussy. Snatch.

I'm on my A game today!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

tina:they are egg shaped..they are little balls of chopped chicken, ham, bacon, sausage, jalapenos, spices, onions, and the dipped in batter and deep fried..oh and they have cheese in them...they rock.if and when you come down for westfest you can try one out..
juney:yup only made at pizza house and then someone from pizza house makes them for westfest.
allan:me too, but i sure dont miss it.
tex:heehee, smartass..
buddhagirl:ill email you the recipe, they're easy.
haha..you and tex..smartasses..

Anne Johnson said...

I've got a white pussy here myself.

Intense Guy said...

I've been told a million times that there ain't no such thing as free pussy...

Or was that beer? umm..

I hope it cools off some - Its too hot for even free pussy.

Big Pissy said...

Best blog post title ever. ;-)

sageweb said...

Best title..glad the pussies found a home. Great pictures too. Email me the recipe too...I love me some Jalepenos!

Heidi said...

That is so great somebody adopted the kittehs! Now, if only we can find someone to adopt the two foster kittehs John and I are taking care of! I bought them a scratching post this evening, and it's so cute watching them use it.

Scottish Toodler said...

I love free pussy AND beer for breakfast!!! lol

Green tea said...

I betcha you have turned up on every porn site in the blog world..LOL

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

anne:braggart
intenseguy:we got some rain, but i broke my ass doing the nekkid rain dance so im retiring my ass.
bigPissy:yeah, i think it maybe the best title of any of my posts yet.
sage:done, hope you like them..
heidi:it was great they went to the same person and so fast..kitteh's are so cute to watch play.
scotish:this post was made for you then..ha
greentea:im afraid to see what my stat counter turned up..