I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Thursday, September 24, 2009

JOKES

I usually don't do jokes, I'm funny enough with out any help..but this one cracked me up. Actually by the time I got back to my email Shady Lane had sent me the first one and decided to add it to the second one..cause they both made me laugh..


Deaf Sex Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or read lips. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. She writes a note to her husband: 'Honey, Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times. The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife that if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.

As we men age, we start seeing more of the medical world, which nowadays seems to include an increasing number of women as our physicians and therapists.
And in my case, a new urologist.
My family doctor recently referred me to a just-out-of-medical-school female urologist. I was skeptical, but I went to see her yesterday..
Now normally I would welcome this sight; she's absolutely drop-dead gorgeous as well as unbelievably sexy.
But a urologist?
She told me that I need to stop masturbating.
I asked her why.
She said, "Because I'm trying to examine you..."

9 comments:

jan said...

two I haven't heard!!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, those are so wickedly bad, YDG!

Intense Guy said...

LMAO!

:)

That deaf dude is preeeeetty durn smart....

joy said...

Those are sooooo bad...I love them!

texlahoma said...

The second one was best, LMAO, oops, I hope that was just a fart! Take that, Bob.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

shady lane sent both of them to me..i have to admit..they both made me laugh out loud..

Nit Wit said...

Both good ones that I haven't read before.
I still like the one that told me what all that thunder was. I'm get the giggles every time I think of it.

Big Pissy said...

I laughed out loud at both of 'em too! ;-)

Rox said...

HAHAHAHAH!