I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Sunday, October 04, 2009

THEM SONSABITCHES













I swear to the Goddess, them fuckers better hope they don't run into me out and about, 'cause I will seriously kick some cowboy ass...I was like a person with Tourette's syndrome the last quarter...screaming and cussing...some of the things spewing from my mouth?
" mile high mother fuckers'...'ride this bronco'....'flags? flags? mother fucking flags?'(about the Denver QB...'that's the ugliest mustache since the Oakland Raiders in the 70's'...'phone? phone? someones fucking calling me on the phone?'.....' yellow flag for tripping? fucking tripping? what is this the 7th grade?'...arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mother fucker'....sigh*
as you can see I'm not a happy fucking camper. the phone call was the lady from the St. Mary's raffle letting me know the winner wasn't going to be announced till tomorrow. I answered the phone with 'you know the Cowboys are playing don't you.'..scared the crap out of her. Hope this means I won the drawing.
for all the enjoyment I got from the game I should have watched the 73 year old playing ping pong for $100,000 in Las Vegas. He lost too, but he put up better numbers than the Cowboys did..sonofabitch.
sigh*
and to top it off...I went to the West High School Homecoming game and we lost 50-21...it was ugly. I was so pissed at the crowd...no one was cheering them on...they announced the princess's,duchess's and queen and king at half time and no one cheered...I'm writing a letter to the editor of the west news paper and bitch about the 'team spirit'...rude bastids..there were 7-8 reunions and the town was full and they were at the game catching up bullshitting and not paying attention to the game..and the band..which is a great band was all but playing fucking funeral marches..I went over to the band section and yelled at the band leader to quit playing dirges and play something to pep the fans up..not put them to sleep...Annessa said she was surprised no one came to throw me out..and Inky said..'are you crazy, their all afraid of her'...ha. I leaned over to Annessa and said 'look at the coach wearing a cocksucker hat.'..and then I started laughing my ass off...and gasping thru laughter"oh fuck, that's not a hat ....that's his hair.'...
He's had the same haircut since 1982...ha...
After the game I went to Mynar's( the bar on the far corner of the West, TV cam on the blog.) and had a diet coke...full of drunk Czechs with cameras...it was Annessas '89 reunion. It was boring so walked across the street to Wolf's and bought Inky a beer and then went home. Where the day/night caught up with me ..had been at house of Satan for 3 hours shopping, then Babs and I went to PH for pizza and then I went to the game where I sat on metal seats with no backs, stood up and screamed, sat, stood up and screamed..etc. and when I got home I was in pain. Took 1/2 of a pain pill( I have taken 3 1/2 of a pain pills in 5-6 years) hot bath and still didn't go to sleep till 8:30 a.m....have been constipated for 2 months..Last night I ate a box of prunes and now am the proud owner of the cleanest asshole in Texas. Was supposed to go to Jenny's yesterday but was in no shape to drive for 30 minutes there and then 30 minutes back..Poor Jenny, she called Friday night 3 times and I was at the game and she was freaking out..each message was more hysterical..'grandma, where are you. call me back, grandma, are you ok...grandma...? " when I finally talked to her she was ready to make a trip to West to find me..What's funny is Jason told her, I bet she's at the game. She said no, it hurts her back.ha..
Well, I'm going to go take a hot bath, powder my clean ass with Tabu powder and sulk. Fucking Cowboys.

7 comments:

billy pilgrim said...

who does tony miss more, t.o. or jessica?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Wow, you are full of piss and vinegar tonight, YDG! And prunes.

jan said...

We got to see the last two minutes of the Cowboys and Broncos after the 49ers started a new winning streak.

Sorry about the Cowboys, but congrats on your asshole.

Intense Guy said...

Did the lady from the St. Mary's raffle ever call back? Did ya win? Is your back feeling any better today?

Wipe good, that prune juice can burn and give ya 'roids, you not careful...

*carefully santitizes his comment of any mention of the cowb...*

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

billy:his throwing ability.
debrah:nothing winds me up like the cowboys.
jan:your niners are kicking some serious ass...good for them..up..shinny and new...me ahole.
intense:no call yet..i sure hope i won.my back is better..im not sleeping...it's after 8am and i still haven't been to sleep.
so far..im gooder than dirt..
fecking cowboys.

Rox said...

Prunes never work for me. I could use something though, I feel like I'm full of shit.

I just cracked myself up.

Ted Amadeus said...

Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

Oh, they'll break .500 someday this year, I'm sure of it...
Colts & Vikes 4-0...HOT DAMN!!!