I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

YOU RANG?


Rosemary, Rosemary, Rosemary. Goddess doesn't need to teach you spells. First of all I'm not a witch, I'm Goddess and I made you a strong woman..I'd advise you to tell Steve to either start picking up after himself or he'd find him spending a lot more time in Hotels. Yellow Dog says to try Biotin for your hair. I would think making your counter tops the screen saver on his computer might get the point across. People don't want to read about what is really going on in the world. Starving babies dying with out every having clean water, war, animals going extinct because there is money in pollution. So they'd rather watch mind numbing stories on MJ, Jon and Kate(who should have those kids taken from them...I wouldn't let them baby sit my blue cats). World peace? Who knows, I just put you here, it's up to you people to play nice.
Sage Bitches will rule every day. You should know that. Maybe if you took Homer out into the yard and played with him and his favorite toy for awhile and then let The Bitch have it..he might be aggressive enough to take it back and might like the feeling of being the Alpha Dog..But then again?..You can teach 'Balls'..you either have them or you don't.
Debra, Swine Flu is Piglet's revenge. My Chariot has a little sticker that says 'TRUST IN THE GODDESS, SHE'LL PROVIDE.".
Ts?..rescue two dogs, one Beagle and one sweet ole Pitty Bull Dog.
Nitty, favorite of the Goddess. Yellow Dog and I are so glad you're back with us. I have to admit, I let Yellow Dog interfere with my Goddess duties. I was prepared to take you to Folkvang, when Yellow Dog pleaded on your behalf. So Goddess slammed the door on you and sent you back. But if it helps any, Yellow Dog gave up chocolate for you.
Buzzardbilly, you silly girl. Earth people prove to be a horror movie every day, so need for me to go any place else. Yellow Dog says her favorite scary movies are Rosemary's Baby and The Exorcist. Why? I think she likes seeing God taking credit for getting rid of the Devil, when she knows there is no Devil.
Gruvkitty, you earth people aren't jerks for bombing the moon, you're stupid and lazy. With the money, time and ingenuity it took to shoot the moon with a rocket, you could have cleaned up every river in the United States and made it more drinkable. Goddess is very tempted to bip someone..and hard.
Wendy, Oreo needs a home and you need a cat. Rescue the cat and see if you can't find Oreo a good home on Petfinders.
Mr. Intense Guy, you make my heart break. You are such a good kind loving man to have such tender feelings for Yellow Dog. She just needs to heal a little more. The right dog is coming her way and when it gets there, she'll be ready. I can't understand a world with out being able to eat Reese's Peanut Buttercups. I can eat and drink all I want and never have to worry about calories, fat or carbs. Yellow Dog on the other hand will eat absolutely no carbs all day so she can have a 1/2 cup of Blue Bell Ice Cream. So..you might try that.. People that buy clothes and 'snuggies' for their animals should be bipped into a coma.
Goddess can't understand why it's important for Christians to put the stamp of their God on every thing. Are they afraid they will forget?
Ken, Yellow Dog has a great expression. "If you beat around the bush all you get is a beat up bush"...Tell the Virgo's to man up and pay attention or the Goddess will wreck havoc on their house. I like a man that wants to sack villages for me. I may have to take you before your time just so we can rumble together.
Rox Gerry Goffin and Barry Mann wrote the song and I like the Platters version the best. Who put the snow on the ground? It's to early? Goddess did and don't question my judgement, or you could have snow 3 feet deep by the middle of the week.
Sooner....because I said so. I think I already answered the rocket to the moon question. The people in charge would rather take the easy way to get fresh clean water than clean up the water they already have..
Future, it's just instinct. They smell clean and throw up on it.
Rainwolf, Goddess is always in a snit. As long as Earth People keep trying to kill the planet and each other I will always be in a snit. Goddess doesn't approve of gambling, but She likes the numbers 3 15 39 48 17 9. They will win some place. Not sure if they will be in your state, but in some state.
Billy I can't for the life of me understand why he continues to wear that silly dress all the time. Goddess wears sweats when She's laying around Folkvang on rainy days.
Hi Joy...'sup?
You didn't embarrass yourself this time. There were some good questions and Goddess is most pleased. I would like for each and every one of you to try and be a better human. Smile, keep me in your heart, help your fellow humans even when they don't ask for help. Go through your closets and take some of those clothes that you keep saying you'll wear when you lose 10 pounds and donate them to people who have no clothes. You know the minute you give them away you'll lose the 10 pounds, then you can buy something new and not something that's been hanging in your closet for 3 years. Who wants to wear something that is 3 years old even if it does fit.????
If you can't afford to rescue a cat or a dog. Donate some money or buy some food, and take it to your local humane society. Cat liter, old blankets, towels, pet toys. They need it all. Instead of watching TV and seeing how much Michael Jackson's glove brought at auction, take that hour and go volunteer at the Library or Retirement Home. Bake a pie, cake or some cookies and take it to the Fire Station or the Police Dept. There is still time left for you to change the wold..It all starts with one step. I bless you.

11 comments:

Nit Wit said...

Nobody should ever have to give up chocolate.
I guess it would be hard to be her pall barer if I'd gotten through that gate. Now Jackiesue needs to wait until I get strong enough to lift my fair share. Might take 20 or 30 years.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Truly, I am humbled by Her wisdom.

Sling said...

I think there should be a nobel prize for Goddess most wise!

texlahoma said...

I will honor your wisdom with a question next time, oh Goddess.
I foolishly forgot to visit Yellowdog Granny's website. I accidentally went to youporn.com and became...preoccupied.

Ken said...

The Goddess is very wise. That's great advice for all of us humans in the last paragraph. Oh, and Goddess? You come and get me any ol' time. I'm ready to go and rumble whenever you are! Woohoo!

sageweb said...

I love the goddess!!!

Rox said...

Snow three feet deep? Goddess, you wouldn't!

Intense Guy said...

*Hugs*

...for both you and for YDG.

Thank you for the wisdom and for imparting bippings.

yellowdoggranny said...

I wish I was as smart as the Goddess...

Green tea said...

O darn..sorry I missed the Goddess..but I was out of town and off line..
Next time..

The Sports Lounge Team said...

Thanks again matey, glad you like it. sure, spread the word, it's good to get feedback. We should try to cover more American sports, and now the footy's over we might have more time to cover it.

Tan