FUCKME I'LL NEVER SMILE AGAIN

I'll start out first with the Dr's report..Which is the good news. Sorta..He looked at my feet and said yes I have an infected corn and gave me another script for antibiotics. Clipped the nails to see what kind of fungus I have. I asked him how I got a fungus and he said it usually came from a trauma to one of the toes and I can remember when I lived over at the little house ramming my toe against the bed and it getting all funky looking. He said then it just spreads. So that's not caused by the diabetics. He was concerned about the lack of feeling in my right foot and leg, but told him that wasn't from the diabetes that was from 4 back surgeries and a pinched nerve for 7 years.
But he said that was still not a good thing, as I could hurt myself on my foot and not know it and that's how my corn got infected. I didn't feel it..He shaved it off and said once he found out what the fungus was he'd know how to treat it and then when it was all healed he would have me to to Mexia(pronounced maheya...where Anna Nicole came from) to his Dr.'s office and he would deaden it and go in and cut the callus off my toe. Yikes. He's about 80 years old and really funny. I told him how I was making jokes about 'the foot Dr. coming in on the stage coach once a month and staying with Miss Kitty over at the Long Branch.' He laughed and said first of all I come to town twice a month.........and he looked off in the distance and said softly..."I wouldn't have minded spending the night with Miss Kitty." and then grinned real big at me. He has great hands, and held my feet so gently...said I had great circulation and pulse and that was a good thing, but was concerned about the lack of feeling. Did a bunch of tests with needles and pins and little wheels and I felt them on my left foot, but didn't feel anything on my right one at all. But then I haven't since the second or third operation on my back. So things are looking up for my feetses...but he didn't recommend me working again unless I got some diabetic shoes. So will check that out. Now If I could just get rid of the fecking cough.
Ok...now for the shocking news of the new year. Remember when I said that Tom wasn't working for Family Dollar any more and no one knew if he quit or got fired? Well, he got fired. Inky and I figured, he got pissed and told them to go fuck themselves as they had screwed him out of his bonus for 3 years. Well....he got fired for theft over $5,000. He took a deposit bag from our store plus he took some from the new store he was working at. I know that he knew he was going to get caught, as there is just no way you can do that and not get caught. When the stock market crashed he told me he lost between $300,000 and $500,000. I asked if that wiped him out and he said no but damn near. I know he had 2 houses. Or at least that's what he said. When he described his one house is was 4 bed-room 4 baths, etc. I know he had 3 dogs he was crazy about. Was devastated when the older one passed away. Felt so bad for him. Inky and I are just stunned and shocked. I mean I would never have believed this in a 1,000 years. I am a pretty good judge of character and so is Inky and I can't believe we were so wrong about some one like we were wrong about him. All I can think of is things got out of hand and maybe he thought he could put it back before anyone noticed. I just don't know..But I'm totally at a loss. We have both left messages on his cell phone telling him we were his friends and we only wished him the best and any thing we could do we would. He hasn't answered any calls. But not sure he is out of jail The last they saw him was Tuesday I think on channel 25 in Waco, in a orange jump suit and hand cuffs. I didn't get to see it or hear about it except 3rd hand. We really never heard much more and we're not even that sure of what the charges were. So I am rocked to the core. Just want to burst out crying.

Well, enough of that ..have to think about something else or I'll start bawling. Babs and I aren't sure if we're going to stay home and watch the Super Bowl or go to Wolf's. They always have great food, and if Babs gets bothered by the amount of people we can always come home. I think we'll end up with her coming over here and bringing cheese dip and Frito's and I'll make chicken quesedillas, spinach dip with crackers, celery etc. I have a recipe for the little red potatoes that I'll be able to eat. You take the smallest red potatoes and cut them in half, core the center out till it's just a little of the potato and the skin and put seasoning on them with butter and bake in the oven till they are all crispy ...Not that many carbs.
Have been cleaning house this weekend. Since my feets is feeling better ..I dusted and cleaned up the bedroom, bathroom and hall way Friday. Today I took up the rug, moved all the furniture around and dusted and vacuumed really good. Going to take the rug to the car wash and clean it but want to wait till it's a little warmer first. But wanted it up off the floor as it was getting pretty dirty. Haven't cleaned it in over a year. Annie is a pain in the ass...Babs and I had Bold Springs Baptist Church cheeseburgers last week and Annie nearly ate all of it herself..So I thought I'll cook her up a hamburger patty and see if she'll eat it...Of course...So now I'm having to cook gr. beef for the spoilt little bitch..She even ate a can of Alpo dog food. I swear ..she's driving me to drink.
Ok...I'm out of here.this is going no where. I'm going to start posting more. I used to post 2-3 times a day, then once a day and now It's once a week...Getting lazy. the point spread is Arizona plus 7....I'm thinking about taking them and the points..but in the back of my mind I keep thinking Pittsburgh is going to blow them out of the ball park..hmmm. I really don't want Pittsburgh to win as that will put them ahead in the Super Bowl wins...Can't have that. If they lose it means they, the Cowboys and the 49ers will be tied with the most wins. Like them fucking Cowboys are ever going to win another Super Bowl Sigh*......Hope you have a great Super Bowl.

Robin has asked me four more questions. They are hard..so it has taken me awhile..here goes.
http://www.robinhoulette.com/
Number one: You have the opportunity to add something to the "bill of rights" in our Constitution....what would it be?
I don't know how I would word it as I'm not that prolific, but I do know that they should make it a right that all citizens of this country should be allowed legally to marry, live with, and adopt children with, no matter their sex. It's called human rights.I would also add a rider to the voting right, that all citizens must vote for every election, or be heavily fined.
Number two: You have a 30 minute segment on 60 minutes to tell the world how you feel...what is the tittle of your segment?
Thirty minutes? You josh, right?.....I would take up 30 minutes of the show and the title would be HUMAN RIGHTS and I'd preach, bitch and carry on for all of the 30 minutes about how we should not allow a book written thousands of years ago, by a bunch of old farts, and this book was translated a gazillion times from Greek to Latin, from Latin to Greek and then English so that most of the meaning has been lost, to dictate our laws against our citizens. This is America...The United States of America and we are all given certain rights..and these rights should be afforded to all our citizens, not just a portion of them. Then I'd bip anyone who argued with me.

Number three: If you could write your own epitaph, what would it read and if there was a person you could thank on that piece of granite, who would it be? Write my own epitaph?
Wow, how cheeky is that? Ok...here goes:
JACKIESUE ROYCROFT DENNEY
GOOD DAUGHTER
BETTER FRIEND THAN A MOTHER.
SHE WAS A GOOD OLE BROAD.
And I would thank my Daddy for never letting me down.

Number four:(back at ya...) If you could live anywhere in the world and do anything you wanted...where would it be and what would you do?
That's easy. I'd live right here, and if I had the money I would remodel the old theater and turn it into a Theater/Dinner club.Serve good food, watch good movies and on Friday night have cartoons and kiddie movies and serve pizza and soda.
Life entertainment and dinner on the weekends. I could learn to love that.
(this is from Robin)
I realize asking the Goddess these questions would be superfluous...but I'm very curious about Jackie's answers!
Working on the goddess ones but that's hard!
Robin is supposed to be working on some questions for the Goddess. Now THAT should be interesting.

I have another post to do..but not up to it right now..Need more details for a bit of information I head about today about our old friend Tom...plus my Dr.'s apt. So see ya tomorrow.

RANDOM PHOTO

Ole intenseguy hooked me up with another little chore. I have to pick out a random picture from my computer and talk about it...so here goes.

http://intenseguy.blogspot.com/

This is a picture of me during .....the summer of my 24Th year. I was working in Portland, Oregon at the 101 Club. I think that was the name of it. It was right on the corner.Doors opened into the bar just like the old swinging doors on saloons in the West. It was I think 2 doors down from the Seaman/Longshoreman's Union Office. Where the sailors and longshoreman(I'm not sure if it was both of them...it's been a long time folks.) would go to pick up their checks..Which meant if they took a right and went down 2 doors there I was..If they took a left and went down about 6 doors there was a bar ran by a Greek family. Let me tell ya...that Jackie was a whole lot prettier than those Greek guys. So we got all the drunk sailors.

I had a swamper(he's the guy that cleans the toilets, floors, tables etc.)named Boston Blackie. He was about 5 feet tall, had a thick accent. I never could figure out where he was from. Some days he sounded like he was from Ireland, some days he sounded like he was from Baaaaston. But considering he drank 2-3 bottles of Muscatel a day I was always happy just to be able to understand him at all. He was also trusted to get me change and put change in the parking meter for my car. I could give him $100 to go get change and he'd be right back with the change. But we had to lock the cabinets to the booze every night or he'd drink it all. It wasn't locked up like a wooden covered cabinet, it was a gated cabinet with a lock..wasn't wide enough for you to put a hand through...but it was wide enough for Boston Blackie to hook up enough straws together and stick them down the pour spouts of the booze to drink enough to get stoned drunk. I came to work one morning and the doors were wide open..I was afraid someone had broken in the bar and hurt Blackie. I rushed in and there was the tin garbage can and the only thing I could see was two size 10 black high top tennie shoes sticking out. He'd passed out and fell asleep in the garbage can.The sad thing is, the only holes big enough for him to stick the straws in were the liquor's. So he drank all the Japanese Plum Brandy, Kahlua, Triple Sec, Galliano, White and Green Creme De Cocoa, and half a bottle of tequila mix, before he figured out it wasn't booze. He was sicker than anyone I have ever seen be sick before in my life. There were puddles of barf all over the place. The men's and women's bathroom both, behind the bar, on tables, all over his clothes. Oh you can't believe the smell. I wanted to jerk his skinny little ass out of that garbage can and make him start cleaning the mess up, but I felt so sorry for him I just made coffee and tried to make him better. He kept saying :"I'm so sorry Miss Jackie, I just couldn't resist all them lovely bottles."...or at least I think that's what he said. I know he drank 2 full pots of coffee before he could keep down one cup. I loved working at that place. Every day was an adventure. It was 2 blocks from skid row. There were wino's(Boston Blackie being one) every where. Some were just on the street every day begging for change for booze. Some like Blackie worked and had a place to live. We didn't have a kitchen there but I would make big pots of stew, chili and make lasagna etc. and bring it down for me and everyone. I worked from 8am to 5pm and I'm searching my memory and I don't think there was place to eat around there. But I was also cheap and the idea of buying lunch didn't sit with me. So I probably brought food because I didn't want to spend the money. The first thing Lu Ann(the night bartender) and I did was make friends with the beat cops. We depended on them to come haul out drunk sailors if they got to rowdy for us to handle. I think I only had to call them once..everyone seemed to know I was young, dumb and a tad naive. One time Lu Ann came in drunk. I thought oh shit, she's never going to be able to go to work at 5 if she's drunk at 1pm. So I figured if she was going to be drunk, so was I so I started drinking, and making her more drinks. By 5pm she and I were both drunk. No one knew how to get in touch with our boss and we were to drunk to give a fuck. We were drunk and working...I still don't know how we managed to finish out the shift. I think we fell asleep on the bar after we closed it down at midnight. Once they were pouring concrete out front for a new side walk, and we wrote out names on the side walk. The beat cops came by and said what we did was a crime and put us in handcuffs and put us in the paddy wagon and took our asses to jail.(We were drunk) the bar was wide open, and people were making their own drinks and putting money on the back bar for their drinks. After about an hour they brought us back. We thought that was so much fun. Our boss was so pissed I thought he was going to fire us both. But the customers raised so much hell he couldn't.

We had some 'ladies' that came in a lot.
They were very entertaining. Most of them were in their 50-60's, but they weren't adverse to a little sex among sailors for $20. There was a residential Hotel around the corner and they would run up there for a quickie and come back and spend the money on drinks and tip us girls. So..that's the story or at least part of the story around that picture. The day that picture was taken was when Lu Ann and I got hand cuffed and tossed into the paddy wagon. Ah, the good ole days.

STUMBLE INTO THE NEW YEAR

something for you to do..while I think of something.. I just realized there are no football games on today..fuckity fuck fuck fuck..I'm going back to bed.

IGGY INTERVIEWED ME

I was over at Intenseguys blog and he was interviewed by a fellow blogger...she asked him some great questions and he gave some terrific answers. He said if anyone wanted to be interviewed by him to leave a 'interview me' in the comment section of his post. So I did..these are the questions that he has for me..and I must say...they could be tricky. Not for you old timers as you know everything about me including my Tabu farting abilities, addiction to Blue Bell Ice Cream and my love of Dublin Dr Pepper. I wasn't going to play the game as I'm not sure anyone wants to play. But if you do..leave a comment on this post and I'll come up with some questions for you. You can also head on over to Intenseguys blog and see his answers to the questions..They were very interesting. ok..here goes.

http://intenseguy.blogspot.com/

If someone invented a "go-back time machine" which places you in your body that you had, in a situation you were once in, for only 5 minutes, knowing what you know now, what thing(s) would you go back and change?

This is pretty easy for me..I'd probably take the little machine back to four different times..To the first time I took a drink...I wouldn't take it..I'd say no thanks, I'll have a sodie pop. The same with that little bennie...No thanks, I'll have another cup of coffee and some NoDoz..If I hadn't taken that little pill it wouldn't have spiraled into the LSD I took and wouldn't have married asshole number 2. No one should marry a guy you have only met 3 times in 2 weeks after dropping acid. And that day back in July of 1974, when Jack got out of the car all crazy, I wouldn't have gotten out of the car. I would have kept the kids in the car, and just drove off. Drove to my Daddy's in Texas, and had him hide me with my relatives until Jack o.d'd someplace or someone else shot him..Being sober and off drugs would have changed my life and my kids..I probably would never have married Jack, or even met him if I didn't drink, and wouldn't have Maryjo, so that is the only kicker on that trip back in time.Because I can't imagine my life without the MOJO.

What would you do if you were were to spend a week as President Obama? I'd bip the Senate and the House into coma's and make them pass a health care bill, make gay marriages legal, make all major business's that moved their plans to China to bring them back, default on all the money we owe all the countries. Tell them fuck off, you want it, come and get it. Then I would cut off all the countries that we give money to. That would pay for the health care. I would make all people on welfare take drug tests, and if they flunk they don't get any money. Roe vs Wade would never be reversed, but they would have to give sex education in schools and pass out condoms and needles to people on the streets that are on drugs.I'd make marijuana legal and set up programs with farmers to grow hemp and marijuana. I am sure there are other things I'd do but it would probably take more than a week.

How did you end up in Texas? are you a native? I started out here ..My Daddy and his folks are from Mesquite and Forney, Texas. Daddy was in the Air Force and he always tried to stay in Texas so he could be close to them. He was a great son and an even better father. I lived in Texas most of my life when I was a kid, except for some trips to Oklahoma, Hawaii, and Arizona. When I grew up I moved to Calif. to marry Asshole #1, then he joined the Air Force and we lived in Mississippi, New Mexico, Washington and Oregon. I moved back to New Mexico where my Daddy was after Asshole #2 and met Jack. After Jack I moved to Calif to be with Chuck, then back to Texas then back to Calif then back to Texas where I said fuckit...I can't quit this place. If I could live any place in the world, I'd live in West, by Goddess, Texas.

What book or books do you think every child in the USA or the world should read? I am such a believer in kids reading..I think it doesn't matter what they read as long as they read. When I was a kid I started reading when I was about 4...by the time I was 9 I was reading H.Allen Smith, Robert Ruruck(spelling), Ayn Rand, William Farley, all the children's classics, every book on South Africa, Egypt, Greece and England. I loved history and reading about people in different countries ..I read about Cleopatra, Henry VIII, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, etc.

American history ? I loved Indians..my favorite was Chief Crazy Horse. So kids just need to read. Jerk their little asses off that computer and video game and hand them a book. If they say they don't like to read, keep giving them a book till they find one that speaks to them. Reading is good.

You talk about inventing your own religion and being a goddess - what would be your number 1 rule for humans to live by? If I was a Goddess, and had the power to make human beings follow one rule it would be..........Love Thy Neighbor and be tolerant. There is too much anger and hate ...Muslims against Jews, Christians against Muslims. Whites against Black, Black against Koreans, everyone against someone. Sad..we are eathlings...people of the planet earth..supposed to be put here by a loving and kind God. Yet all we do is kill in his name. Come on everybody, love your neighbor.

So...that's the questions and those are my answers. Anyone wants to play the game..email me and I'll send you the questions and you do a post of them.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS TUESDAY

When I saw this I fell onto the floor laughing..Clinton has been pissed at Carter for badmouthing him during the Monica affair and thinks when Carter lost the election it cost him the Governor's mansion in Arkansas. When they took photos of all the living presidents..Carter couldn't have stationed himself any further away without being out of the room..I love the look on Hilary's face as she watches them not only walk right by but just keep right on walking...The Clinton's and the Carter's get along better with George and Barbara Bush than they do with each other..Pretty funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAVDlsstAjg

.......BUTTROY.......

I have a dream...I dream of one day turning on the TV and seeing advertisement for a new sitcom called "The Buttroys"... Bucky Roy Buttery, Raynell Estelle Buttroy and their three kids: Bernard Roy Buttroy, Beatrice Royella Buttroy and Bucky Roy Buttroy, Jr. Bucky and Raynell own their own business. The Buttroy Cleaners - Washateria Bar and Grill. Located in the heart of Texas in a town called Butt, Which was founded by the ancestors of Bucky Roy. I'm still working on the script, but I figure if each and every one of you use the term Buttroy at least once or twice on your own blog then the word Buttroy will become a Internet phenom and there is no telling how far we can take it..Babs and I googled Buttroy and right after the word buttery and a guy named Butt, I'm right there..So it's a start..Just think this time next year we could all be on Letterman, reciting the top 10 reasons how you can tell is someone is a Buttroy. I see an Emmy in it and a Lifetime story of our lives ...a 3-parts. Maybe a movie. You'll have to tell me who you think should play you in the movie. I'm torn between Bette Midler and Kathy Bates to play me. Any suggestions?

I put on shoes today for the first time since my last day at work. My toe still hurts..Went by the post office and got my 1040EZ form, picked up a West paper for me and Babs, and went by the store to hand in my work shirts..Inky said he missed me...said the first time he came to work and there was no one to say "where'd ya go after you combed your hair?" and he missed it. The new boss said she had heard all about me ..I am smart enough not to pursue the subjects of those talks. Ran into some customers who were sad that I wasn't going to be there any more. Wondered who was going to help them find stuff, and I said make Inky do it. Everyone including Inky laughed . No word on Tom. Inky said he called him but he wouldn't return his calls. I'll find him. Asshole #3 didn't call me fucking Colombo for nothing.

Welp, I'm back to my book..finished the Jeffery Deaver book and now finishing the Nevada Barr book, which is excellent. Going to library tomorrow and see if we can't get started on thinning out the paper back section and the kids section. Fixing the kids section is an all month job..Kids come in pull out four or five books and then shove them back any place they want. Seven year old kids have no clue about the Dewey decimal system.

Also ...when I do my post and do spell check I can't finish my post..it won't type. I can't explain it, but I have to publish the post then edit it and start all over..feck...any ideas..?

OK..I'm gone...I'm still grinning from Tuesday and the fact that Lost came on tonight...life is good..

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

here they are folks...The President of the Unites States of America, Barack Obama and his lovely wife the First Lady Michelle Obama. Long may they reign. Don't it make you all warm and tosty inside?

Does me...

MY FAVORITE 3 WORDS

"Former President Bush."........

Woke up yesterday to no Internet..didn't get it turned back on till this afternoon...Turned on by the sweetest guy..Not your typical Texas boy...(36)...He's a liberal, has gay friends, thinks they should be allowed to get married and voted for Obama. He fixed my computer..the modem broke ..he said those Motorola modems are a piece of crap and he also fixed my high speed which wasn't. Took him about 45 seconds to do it and said ole Kenny from India could have done it himself, but sent me a crappy modem instead. Then he stayed here for almost 2 hours bullshitting with me. We talked about politics, religion, football, West, Robinson(where he's from), the Government, the Middle East, Texas, Canada, you name it. Was really cool..We agreed on everything, except I couldn't convince him to become a pagan. But he was weakening.

I have been glued to the TV all day ...it was wonderful...I loved the fact that he raked ole Bush over the coals and he had to sit there with a pissy look on his face and not say a word. Made my fucking day. I was alternately laughing hysterical and crying..Annie thinks I'm crazy for sure. I kept saying "I can't fucking believe it, I can't fucking believe it."....Every time he got out of the limo and walked the crowd I almost had a heart attack...Kept screaming 'get back in the fucking car, someones going to shoot you.'...jeez...my heart didn't beat the entire time he was outside that car. I know the Secrete Service was having strokes.

When they came out on the floor for the Neighborhood Ball, all I could think of is how beautiful they looked together, how much in love and boy was there going to be some rock-em sock-em sex tonight in the White House.If the White House is rocking, don't bother knocking. whoo boy.

Well, I feel like my job here is done. I started this blog to piss off republicans and bash and rant about Bush..now he's gone and I'm not sure I know what to do now...But I'm sure I'll think of something..You may have to give me some new ideas.

Oh...Oh...Oh....I knew that I had made my prediction about Obama being President, and I googled my blog and one of the first mentions by me about Barak Obama being President was on Sept. 29th 2005...i think there were a few before then, but this one was the title of the post, President Barak Obama. See, I told you so.

POST OF MANY THINGS

I made up a new word...Instead of calling people dickhead, or asshole..I now call them Buttroy. Don't ask me where it came from, it just popped into my head and thought it would make a great word..Ya bunch of Buttroys..Doesn't it have a certain ring to it? Examples of a Buttroy?...The guy Obama picked to give the prayer at his inauguration. He's for sure a Buttroy. The person at the drive thru that doesn't give you enough napkins or mustard for your corn dog. Yup..Buttroy. The cop that gives you a ticket for going 3 miles over the limit?...Buttroy. The little old lady who cuts in front of you in the grocery line with 37 items in the 20 times or less lane...uh huh...Buttroy. The guy that tries to pick you up in the bar by saying:"If I told you you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me." Redneck motherfucking Buttroy. You get the point.
The other thing I want to post about is the terrific gift I got from Elizabeth...she's from Pittsburgh..she's a happy camper today...Her team is going to the Super Bowl. My team is staying home and picking dingle berry's off their Buttroy asses. Anyhow the gift..It's a terrific book...The title of the book?...Good-bye Bush. It is a parody of the children's book Good-night Moon. It is hysterical. I laughed snickered and giggled all the way through it. Trust me..yafta get yourself a copy. I am in return sending her a book she will love since she's a Pittsburgh Steeler fan. You all know I am doing the happy dance cause the Eagles lost. But my happiness is tainted by the fact that my friend Anne who loves her Eagles like I love my Cowboys is hurting. That takes a lot of the joy out of it.damnit.
Did I tell you that Tom is no longer working for Family Dollar? Don't know the details...he could have finally got tired of being jerked around and told them to take the job and shove it. Or they fired him because he was pissy about being moved from our store to another crap store that needed to be fixed again. He is the fixer. I know he was really pissed about it. I hate it what ever the reason as he was one of the hardest workers I have ever worked with and he deserves to be treated a lot better than they treated him. Buttroys.
My toe is the same. My cough is nearly gone, but then it does that as long as I take the cough syrup..Which is still giving me weird but wonderful dreams. I dream of my Daddy, my dog Bill and a few friends that have passed over. Dreaming of off the dead people and dead dogs is eerie..Keep thinking maybe they are coming to get me..Well, go the fuck away..I'm not ready yet. My Bush clock is still ticking...
Did I tell you that my rent went down from $151 to $120...If I had stayed working it would have gone up to $306..Buttroys.
Hows a sister expected to get a head?...Went to see Nancy Saturday and she was so excited that I would be able to work for her as there are some workshops she wants to go to and now she can go. I had thought about working at the senior center next door to the library, but being around all those old folks makes me nervous. They all smell like fixi-dent and hemorrhoid cream.Plus their fingers look like bird talons. Clutching the plastic knife and fork all bend over their food shoveling it in faster than you can put it on their plate. I swear if you made the wrong move toward them they'd flay you alive with their plastic knife. Plus it smells like school cafeteria food, and there is a memory lane I'd rather not go down thank you very much.
I lost another 7 pounds...I know weigh......185...from 255, or something like that..I forget..or least I'm trying to..I just know I was a fat Buttroy. Now I'm a chubby Buttroy. Pretty soon I'll be tits and elbows ..won't that be great.
I'm so excited about Tuesday I don't know if I should spit or go blind.I've watched everything they have shown on TV about him. Listening to the African-Americans talk about him just makes me weep. Especially the Tuskegee Airmen. wow..Plus I can't wait to see what Michelle is going to wear. And there will be people in the White House we can be proud of for a change.
welp....I am going to go finish reading my Jeffery Deaver book...it's a good-un..y'all come back and see me now..ya'hea?

HOMER SPEAKS

Best Of Homer Simpson's Quote
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to Home Simpsonget one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?
I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.

THANKS CONGRESS, YA FUCKED US AGAIN.

Subject: Why AIG Was Rescued
Remember when this economic crisis hit, and Congress let Bear Sterns go under, pushed a bunch of forced marriages between banks, etc.? Then they bailed out AIG. At the time, I thought: "That's strange. What does an insurance company have to do with this crisis?" I think I just found the answer.
Among other things, AIG INSURES THE PENSION TRUST OF THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS!! No wonder they got bailed out right away! To hell with the people, let's protect our future, said all our Senators and Congressmen. Its nice to see where their loyalties lie. (I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.

MY BUSH CLOCK

I wonder what will happen to my Bush clock that is counting down the days left in office for the asshole. Does it self destruct? Start counting down Obama's day? Or just remain at oooo hours.? Guess we'll find out..

Figure everyone one is going to be doing stuff this weekend..so I am going to post some lolcats...I found the website for them and some of them just crack me up...didn't even go stumbling for stuff just doing the animals...have a great weekend. My foot is a tad better, my cough is better thanks to the super duper cough syrup, and I'm getting bored with sitting home feeling sorry for myself...So will go to the library tomorrow and see if Nancy would like some help. Keep me out of trouble. Maybe.

...I GIVE UP....

Fuckit I quit. I'm calling Tom tonight and telling him it's all over but the crying. My old feets can't handle it any more..Plus I talked to apt. manager and if I continue working my rent will double...That sucks!...But mainly..my feet are just killing me. When I decided to work with one shoe on and slipper socks on my sore foot and walk and stand on my foot basically barefoot for 4 hours ..well, that had to be right up there with the dumbest things I have ever done..Some where between marriage number 2 and marriage number 3...The corn is still there and looks pretty ugly, my toe nails are turning black and fungi looking and falling off. The bottom of my right foot is so sore I can't put my weight on it..and my other foot is doing double duty and I swear I hear it scream at me"Sit the fuck down."..Plus, my cough is back..even with the cough syrup I'm still coughing. I just don't get it..where did it come from and why is it staying so long.?

All I know is I'm pooped..I'm tired of coughing I have achy breaky feets and if I didn't know me better I would think I am starting to get a tad depressed, and anyone that knows me, knows, depression is not me...I don't do depression..I do kicking ass and pissing off and a lot of getting even..but not depression. But I'm not my normal perky ass self I know that for sure. You would think I would be so fucking happy ole George is going away that nothing would bother me..maybe that's it..I'm going through bush bashing withdrawal. I need something to bitch about...I could bitch about the Cowboys but none of you really give a shit, and Bush is going away so nothing to bitch about there. The economy is in the shitter and wall street is getting a ass-kicking, but so far that hasn't effected me. Of course I'll not be able to buy cutesty stuff for everyone any more. sigh...Maybe I can get my buddy up at the Video Store to hire me. Sit on my ass all day and rent videos...I could do that..See if he would pay me cash. Or I could just go back to blogging , reading and watching soaps....arghghgh kill me the fuck now.

While I was over at Kevins' blog I told a great story about me and Mojo and a elevator...I think I will repeat it here. I was waiting for a elevator with Mojo who was about 19 at the time, and the doors opened and there were 2 really cute young guys in the elevator, and one of them said:"Going down?" and I said :"Only if I don't have to swallow."...and Mojo hit me so hard on the arm with her fist I actually came up off of one foot. The guys on the elevator was almost laying in the floor laughing and then the doors closed and Mojo said:"I hope your satisfied, now we'll have to wait and catch another car."..

But I grinned all day long..knowing that those 3 would be retelling that story for a week...life is good...

DREAMING OF MY BLOGGING BUDDIES

So...I'm dreaming and all of a sudden I'm on a bus that's more like a train than a bus...but it's a bus...Tex is on the bus and every now and then one of my kids will show up, but they are in and out and really have no story line..I'm supposed to be going to Maine to see Danny...but somehow we ended up in Oklahoma and that's when we picked up Tex, and we immediately started playing poker..It was me, Tex, Allan, Babs, and a bunch of other people that would come and go. Like the kids. We had tables and there were all sorts of poker games going on.. Babs had her cat with her and every one is pissed because they didn't bring their pet. Tex and I are winning at poker. Allan is chatting up some girl running away from home. We some how get involved with that and then the girl disappears and Allan's pissed at me because I convinced her to go back home..Sorry Allan. After we left Oklahoma we end up in Ohio, and we're 70 miles from Nit Wit's town and I want to call him and have him meet us, but I'm afraid to call because his wife will think I'm after her husband and get mad at both of us. Tex says:"fuckit, I'll call him."....So he calls NitWit and he meets us at the bus station and we go have dinner over at Kevin's house, but we all have to hide because the kids and R. don't know who we are and would get mad at Kevin for inviting strangers into the house. There is something about a moose head but I can't remember. Babs wants to take Kevin's cat and keeps saying here kitty kitty.. Kevin keeps calling us retards as we sneak around his house, and I think this is hysterical but everyone else is pissed. Next thing Tex and I are back on the bus, but Allan's gone and Sling is there. He has on my West, Texas High School Bohemian Headhunter t-shirt and nothing else..No one seems to think there is anything wrong with that and I keep trying to grab him in the ass. He giggles like a teenage girl.(I am not making up any of this up)
The bus/train seems to go on forever..we're all tired of playing poker so I (naturally ) say lets play strip poker. But Sling says 'No fair, I'm already half naked."...Then we're in Virginia and Jamie my granddaughter is there for a while but she thinks we're all nuts and says she's going to work. I wake up before we get to Maine. There may have been more people in the dream but I can't remember..I woke up went into the living room and wrote this all down ...this was 2 days ago..just found it...Forgot all about it...I love my cough syrup.

STUMBLING ALONG WITH MY SORE TOE

this is exactly how Annie sleeps with me at night..until she gets bored then she goes and sleeps in her velvet basket with the heating pad...We have had temperatures in the 80's and 70's all this week..With some rain..This weekend it's supposed to get down to 28...Texas gotta love it. Hope you enjoy the stumbles..This cleaned out my larder of stumbles..now will have to go stumbling and find some more for you...have a great weekend.

I will be sitting home nursing my toe..