ANOTHER JOKE

THE GIRLS
Tillie - Maude - Gertrude
These three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.
The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
Gertrude immediately had a stroke.
Then Maude also had a stroke.
But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

NEW CAMERA TEST...one..two..three..check

part of the Santa collection..

Dexter "let me out" or you'll be sorry.

I lost the fucking memory card..I know I threw it out..I meant to keep the damn box and all the paper work..got the paper work and everything but the memory card..fuck! I guess I can buy a new one..I hope..it works really good for $25..more photos to come.

OOPS IT'S MONDAY STUMBLES AGAIN.

I damn near forgot...I was up most of the night trying to keep Dexter from destroying West, Texas heirloom Christmas balls. I thought if I put them up high enough they would be safe...yeah, right. So I think I will declare Dexter the winner of the Christmas tree war. So far he doesn't give a shit about my Santa Claus collection, so they will stay out, but the balls will have to go. I may be able to leave the tree as he pretty much just fucks with the one bottom branch as it is out of range of my water bottle squirt gun. He attacks it from behind the couch. I have been letting him go outside late at night when there is no one around. He will run all over the fucking place and then eventually he comes in. Maybe he'll wear himself out....sigh*..fat chance.
We are going to have rain all week long and will be highs in the 50's and lows of 30's...So far it's not cold enough for me to turn the heat on. I just threw on my flannel shirt and put the snuggie on. Which thrills Dexter to death as he loves to hide under the part that hangs off the recliner and attack me. Well, things are A-OK here in West, By Goddess, Texas. I had a great Thanksgiving and the Cowboys won. Life is good.

Men and toys.

I STOLE THIS FROM CLANCE'

but it fits me so well.......

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch. (That would be me...) But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day. The End

I was 'catching the wind on my tongue Ma'...

DALLAS 24---OAKLAND 7

We actually played like the big boys..good game. I'm still recovering from the day ..besides all the pie baking 3 pecan, 1 chocolate cream and 2 pumpkin cheesecakes, I got up Thanksgiving morning at 6am to be at Dollar General for their big ass one day sale. They were supposed to open at 7am and poor Stephenie had to close and then go home and do all her baking and then open up ..She forgot to set the alarm and didn't get there till 7:30...some of the people were pissed but I figured what the hell, no big deal. So I got 2 video cameras, a digital camera, a mp3 player, a hair dryer($5) and a mixer on a stand for $115.83...pretty fecking good. Then at 9am I went to Senior Center and helped hand out food, make up to go dinners for 2 days worth of meals till 12:30..We fed over 300 people..We were out of every thing but yams and green beans by noon...It was terrific. I told the ladies that on days like that it made me feel sorry for anyone that didn't live in West. They agreed. I also made 2 trips to the apts to deliver dinners so they would have a Thanksgiving. I don't think enough people knew about it. Next year I'm going to make up flyer's and go around and hang them on all the apts plus put up some flyer's in town. There was a pair of brothers that were very very old and one was crippled and I helped get their food and bundled up 4 containers of deserts and leftovers for them. They blew me kisses and made me misty eyed. I love my town. By the time I got home I was done in ..standing to make the pies and then all the standing at the Center just busted my ass. I hauled out the heating pad and took some Aleve and did nothing but lay in my recliner...Walked like an old lady..hell I am an old lady. Wasn't going to do anything yesterday but forgot I had told Babs I'd bake her turkey for her so i did that and gave her all the meat except some for me to make turkey soup and a few sandwiches. Between the 2 of us we have 8 turkeys..ha..40 cents a pound, couldn't resist.

Tonight while walking a load of laundry over to the office Dexter got out and I said fuck it..It was dark and no one was about so I let him play outside. He came dragging his ass back about an hour later. May let him out at night when no ones about so he can get rid of some of that energy. I'm tired of him waking me up ripping up shit. He has figured out how to open the door in the bathroom cubbard and rips up rolls of toilet paper. Ripped my shower liner up...bastid.

Ok..that's it..Im pooped..hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

I DIDN'T KNOW THIS..........

Informed Comment
Thoughts on the Middle East, History, and Religion
Juan Cole is President of the Global Americana Institute
(I stole this from his blog...full props go to him..had nothing to do with it..I just loved it and the idea...Jackiesue)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The Thanksgiving of the Fantasticals A Day of Rule breaking, and Spontaneous Mirth

When we used to do Thanksgiving as cross-dressing and insulting authority:Thanksgiving was a Northeastern regional commemoration until Abraham Lincoln promulgated it as a national holiday in 1863, and it was celebrated in lots of different ways. One of those ways was for young men to dress up as women or in fantastic costumes and promenade, and mug, and make fun of authority. It was a "masculine escape" from the family, an opportunity to break rules and be outlandish. In our increasingly regimented national security state, we could do with some of that old Thanksgiving cheekiness, though we need both sexes now.Thanksgiving in the nineteenth century in some parts of the country was a combination of Eddie Izzard (cross-dressing), Lady Gaga (wild costumes and breaking conventions), and Jon Stewart (mirthful insults directed at high political authority). Some historians suggest that the homey, nuclear-family Thanksgiving meal was a reaction against all this public rowdiness. Alas, so successful a reaction that the carnivale side of the holiday has been erased from public memory (Elizabeth Pleck, "The making of the domestic occasion: The history of Thanksgiving in the United States," Journal of Social History (Summer 1999) Vol. 32, Iss. 4; pg. 773, 17 pgs).Pleck writes,
'As William Dean Howells put it, "The poor recognize [Thanksgiving] as a sort of carnival," a masculine escape from the family, a day of rule breaking, and spontaneous mirth . . . Drunken men and boys, often masked, paraded from house to house and demanded to be treated. Boys misbehaved and men committed physical assaults on Thanksgiving as well as on Christmas." (Well, that last part we don't miss)She continues,
"Groups of men, crossdressing, who called themselves the Fantastics or Fantasticals, masqueraded on Thanksgiving beginning in the 1780s. . . Subsequently the Fantastics copied these and other elements of English mumming, such as drunkenness and ridiculing authority . . . An editorial in a Pennsylvania newspaper in 1870 defended the Fantastics, on the grounds that "it is better to be merry than sad, and if, as some genial writer asserts, a good hearty laugh takes a nail out of your coffin, a parade of the fantasticals can not fail to lessen the bills of mortality." ' William Shepard Walsh, "Curiosities of popular customs and of rites, ceremonies, observances," Social Science (1897), p. 924 wrote as the Fantasticals were fading from public memory:
Another and somewhat strange way of observing the holiday in New York has been, up to very recent years, to dress one's self in the most fantastic costume imaginable and parade the streets. . . Hundreds of companies of these motley persons, under some such name as the " Square Back Rangers," the " Slenderfoot Army," or the " Original Hounds," and dressed chiefly, as an old account says, as "clowns, Yankees, Irishmen, kings, washerwomen, and courtiers," thronged the streets all day. These "ragamuffin parades" have fallen into disuse except for a few small boys, but as recently as 1885 they were in full swing, as the following paragraph, printed in the Sun on November 27, 1885, testifies:" Fantastic processions burst out all over the town in unusual abundance and filled the popular eye with a panorama that looked like a crazy-quilt show grown crazy and filled the popular ear with the din of thumping drums and blaring trumpets. Thirty-six companies of fantastics had permits to march around making an uproar, and they did it with great success. Local statesmen went around.with the down-town paraders and helped them whoop things up. There were lots and lots of fantastics who hadn't any permit, and who didn't care either. They were the thousands and thousands of small boys who put on their sisters' old dresses, smeared paint on their faces, pulled on red, yellow, brown, black, and indiscriminate wigs, and pranced round their own particular streets, without the least fear of police interference.' So, as we sit, pants unbuttoned and droopy-lidded, around the flat screen television watching other people work off their calories, we could get an inkling of past Americana if we imagined uncle Joe dressed up in one of Madonna's wilder costumes and making an obscene gesture in the general direction of the state capitol. If only present-day Americans were not so apathetic and timid that they gave up the most basic rights enshrined in our Constitution almost without a fight just because Dick Cheney sneered at them and muttered something about national security -- if only they showed some spunk and dared break social conventions and get uppity in the cause of personal liberty rather than that of corporate perquisites from time to time-- now that would be something to be thankful for.

GODDESS BLESS YOU ONE AND ALL

I feel like hammered shit!.Happy, but hammered shit none the less. I made 3 pecan pies yesterday and roasted 4 chicken breasts. Today I made a chocolate cream pie and 2 pumpkin cheesecakes. One for me and Babs tomorrow and one for Inky. The pies were all bribes for the crew at Dollar General. They are having a block buster sale tomorrow and they only have like 1 or 3 of the big ticket items..So by bribing everyone with the pies it got me all of the things I want in a basket and stored in the office for me when I get there at 7 a. m. Am I sneaky or what. But oh my...such hugs I got today. Jennifer and Stacy were jumping up and down off the ground..customers were cracking up laughing..They even hugged Babs and she's going I didn't bake any thing, I'm just the ride. They didn't care they were hugging everyone..I felt bad because I was going to bring the Chocolate pie for Stephanie tomorrow morning but she looked so sad cause everyone had their pie and she didn't. So I went home and whipped it up and took it back to her. Stopped by Family Dollar to get some stuff for Nitty's kids and grand kids and was telling Inky about it and his face kept getting longer and longer and I said oh fuck my pumpkin cream cheese makes 2 I'll bring you one of them..Ha.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving...Babs and I are volunteering at Senior Center, well I am and if Babs is up to it she will too. But I'll eat there at 11 and if she doesn't go will bring her back a dinner. Then at 3 when the motherfucking Cowboys play I will heat up the roast chicken breast make the fresh yams into candied yams with brown sugar and pecans, fresh green beans with red potatoes and bacon and crescent rolls. Finished up by the pumpkin cheese cake..Well, I have to whip up my whipping cream for the topping of the cheesecakes..so I'm off..I love you all and when I think of what I have to be thankful for you are all on the lists..jacsue

DOGGIES AND KITTEH'S AND FLOWERS OH MY

The illusive Prego..Who still runs under the bed when I come over..maybe one day.

Tina getting ready to do a dirt roll.

Dirt roll in progress.

Chewey and Dexter playing vampires.

Was taking picture of the flowers and bip there's ole Dexter..I had to put them in the sink so he couldn't get to them when I was gone. Jenny sent these for my birthday.

Wherz mai flowers go?

Here Chewey, Chewey...lets play.

Seconds before he reached up and flipped the basket over and bolted down the hallway.

I was playing laser light with him..

Going into attack mode. See my birthday elephant on the shelf from Babs..I love my african stuff..she gave me the african drum that the doll is sitting on last Christmas. The pair of black Masai on the right I have had for over 40 years.

Where's that fucking dog?

Good dog...

Gotcha !

I hate that fucking cat.

You can hide but you can't escape.

OHHH, CHECK THIS OUT

http://www.coml.org/
This was in the DAM News today..I was just gobsmacked. This is just fascinating to me. You couldn't get me to even think about going down there or deeper than 4 feet, but man..it is wonderful..

There are 5,600 new species on top of the 230,000 known. researchers say they hope to add several thousand more by the end of the census in October 2010.
17,650 species living below 656 feet, the point where sunlight ceases.
5,722 living in the extreme ocean depths, waters deeper than 3,280.
170 new species that get their energy from chemicals spewing from ocean-bottom vents and seeps.
More than 2,000 scientists from 80 countries are working to catalog the oceans' species.
Researching the abyss has been costly and difficult because it involved deep-towed cameras, sonar and remotely operated vehicles that cost $50,000 a day to operate.
Once the census is complete, the plan is to publish three books: a popular survey of sea life, a second book with chapters for each working group and a third focusing on biodiversity.
Cain Burdeau (Associated Press)

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY ITS MONDAY STUMBLES

anyone on a diet?

for Jan

Sage, I think they want to take piggy with them.

Elizabeth

Sling

none of my friends suck..

Ted.

Rosemary

Blueberry

Anne

Nick and Nora

Miss Healthypants

Billy

Tex

Kim

for you all.

Rox

Sooner

Shark girl

Debrah

Dexter

Intense guy

this one's for me. it's greeeeeat..!