I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

SOONER SPEAKS...

Yes, folks..he's back, with his own weird warped take on the world and those who fuck it up. With out further ado...here's Sooner.

Word: Dicklet
Definition: An asshole of such profound proportions that he can only be described as a small piece of shit tasting chewing gum that is a Chiclets sized little square dick.
As in, Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson are little square shit tasting Chiclets sized dicks, they're Dicklets!
I have reached this conclusion after the latest press releases these two nimrods have thrown at the media, a black funk has be-shitted my normally good mood. My intellect has been be-shat upon.
Controversial conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh is defending earlier comments in which he accused President Obama of using the disaster in Haiti for political gain.
"I do believe that everything is political to this president," Limbaugh said on his radio show yesterday. "Everything this president sees is a political opportunity, including Haiti, and he will use it to burnish his credentials with minorities in this country and around the world, and to accuse Republicans of having no compassion."
President Obama has dedicated $100 million for immediate relief efforts in Haiti, calling it a "top priority."
The president has not politicized the matter or criticized Republicans' response to the disaster. Republicans, in fact, have largely expressed their support for the president's efforts.
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs did accuse Limbaugh specifically of having no compassion after his original remarks: "I think in times of great crisis, there are always people that say really stupid things," Gibbs said yesterday. "I don't know how anybody -- I don't know how anybody could sit where he does, having enjoyed the success that he has, and not feel some measure of sorrow for what has happened in Haiti."
The conservative magazine the National Review defended a portion of Limbaugh's original comments in which he questioned the effectiveness of giving aid to Haiti via the government.
"On the facts, Rush is right," writes Jim Geraghty. "The tale of U.S. foreign aid to Haiti is maddening, as well-meaning Americans dump more and more money to alleviate suffering, only to see little or no actual improvement in the living conditions on the ground."
Geraghty points to a Reuters article outlining a history of corrupt and weak civil services in Haiti that has slowed the distribution of American aid. Now, in the aftermath of this giant earthquake, the biggest challenge for government and private relief efforts alike is the lack of infrastructure available to move supplies.
Now, Rush...
Is it really such a crime that Obama is helping Haiti, even if it raises his "stock" value to the world media, can compassion and caring for our fellow human beings make his approval ratings be that much better?
Maybe, maybe not. I wonder if a tornado were to strike just YOUR fucking house if the First responders might stop for a cup of coffee, or conveniently "get lost"(our G.P.S. got a virus)....thousands dead and dying, starving, suffering....Haiti is a festering mess...,I wish Obama would make a Foreign Relief Body Bag Technician out of your petty ass.
Maybe it's just me, but I believe that regardless of whether I am a Republican, a Democrat, left or right, I am sick of your hatred and lies. You are rather porcine in appearance, so therefore your voodoo dolls will resemble Porky the fucking pig. And they will have a "squeal" function that will actuate upon piercing, you whiny greasy pig faced little Dicklet.
You were just wanting another 5 minutes of fame. You are a 5 star Dicklet.

NEW YORK, New York -- Pat Robertson, the American Christian televangelist and host of "The 700 Club," said that Haitians need to have a "great turning to god" while he was reporting on the devastating 7.0 earthquake that shook the island nation - the most powerful to hit the country in a century.
As Haitian Prime Minister Jean-Max Bellerive said "well over" 100,000 people may have died in the natural disaster, Robertson took to the airwaves Wednesday on his show and said that the country has been "cursed by one thing after another" since they "swore a pact to the devil."
"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about," Robertson said Tuesday.
"They were under the heel of the French, you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the prince.' True story. And so the devil said, 'Ok it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got something themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another," Robertson said.
And Pat, they do not sacrifice their young, blood-let on little dolls(except yours, it looks like a little square dick), nor do they cast spells or curses (except for your little square dicked ass), nor did they make a pact with Satan to level themselves, nor do I believe that God had anything to do with it . I think it was the massive fault line that they have been getting warnings about,.... of course after the 4 HURRICANES that slammed into Haiti just last year. Oh, and Haiti is the poorest country in our Western Hemisphere, no Wal-Mart's or Telethons there, you hypocritical shit tasting little Dicklet.
A man of the lord would not say these things, a jackal of the beast will spread fear and hatred.
Prey for mercy, your day will come...judgement will be swift and just.
You are the Shit Master General of the entire Dicklet Pacific Fleet.

FOOTBALL
Apocalypse Now, 1979
Kurtz: (Brando)
"I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream; that's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor... and surviving."
This has been the season for the Dallas Cowboys, I watched in horror, was it going to be Good Tony, or BAD Tony.
Would the defense show up ...or lay down and point fingers at each other.
Well, we all know how it shook down. And at least they will have the same core or personnel back next year to build upon. They have offensive line issues, and depth issues. Another great addition would be a good slot receiver (Shipley) and a fucking kicker. Bad call hiring a dude that was cut from the Redskins, must have been Jerry's idea. Suisham couldn't kick his way out of a mob of crutch using war vets let alone a simple field goal. He is FIRED.
Roy E. Williams needs a salary adjustment, and most likely a swift kick in the ass, at least he tried towards the end of the season.
Barber is getting beat up, better hope that Jones and Choice stay healthy, they have the only true 3 headed monster in the NFL...it would be nice to see more wildcat , but they need another speed option...run and pass threat if they needed it...maybe another corner.
Martellus Bennett needs his ass kicked too. Big-assed young buck didn't do shit, and all he has to do is jump up and catch the fucking ball. He is a waste of talent, needs to be used in the red zone when it counts...just toss it up and drag it down.
Now I am a Viking fan, so I say this with sincerity. It will come back to haunt them, the late touchdown.
Football is war, any thing goes. But the Cowboys will not forget that shit, and Childress will get his smug chinless ass shoved up his ass one day, courtesy of Ware and Brooking going out of bounds on Peterson or Rice, IT IS INEVITABLE. What goes around, comes around.
Now we got Saints, Jets , Colts and Vikings....I would like to hear your thoughts, even if it involves the prettiest uniform, which I call the The Prettiest Uniform Theory. With that being said, I pick the Saints over the Vikings, and the Jets over the Colts. And the big Kahuna will be ....WHO DAT?
Now I have given the Saints the kiss of death, so it is written, so it shall be done.

9 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

It all needed to be said.

Kulkuri said...

It's called projection, Rush is just projecting what aWol&Co would do onto Obama. If you look closely, everything the Never-Right says about the Dems is what they would do if they had a chance to do so, or have done in the past. With Rush it's like he keeps pushing the envelope to see just how fucking stupid his "DittoHeads" really are. So far it appears that they are too fucking stupid to pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were printed on the heel!!

As for Pat Robertson, I never have been able to understand why anyone would listen to him. But then again, if you can suspend reality enough to buy into Xian myth, it's not that much of a stretch to believe his bullshit!! For him and others of his ilk, I really do wish there was a HELL for them to spend enternity!!

billy pilgrim said...

good to hear from you again sooner.

i'd like rush's and pat's opinion on the late touchdown. if the cowboys try to retaliate for the late touchdown then the vikings will really kick their asses.

maybe childress and fat boy wade should just fight it out.

Allan said...

Rush and his ilk aren't going to stop being stupid anytime soon. Sad.

Nit Wit said...

The only person I know who everything is about politics is Rush. I also think he wears a diaper under his pants and sucks on a pacifier when he's alone.

Pat Robertsons contributions must be getting low.
He should know about the pact with the devil though. If anyone knows about that stuff it's Pat. He did make a deal for himself after all. I can also picture him being the go between for Haiti's deal.

Football is just a bunch of guys playing with a pig ball.

Ted Amadeus said...

I blasted "ped-piehole Pat" a good one myself, since his foot's never very far from his mouth.
Limbilge? Isn't he what they resorted to instead of waterboarding: Tie the enemy combatant to a chair, place next to jambox, turn on Rush Limburger, and let the stink do the dirty work. Five minutes later the poor sonofabitch is willing to say anything to make it stop. Makes chain-whipping look merciful.
I know he says something halfway smart once in a while, but he still hasn't dry-cleaned the cum-stains off his suits from all those years of blowing Dubya and even a busted clock's right twice a day. Why waste your time?
From your mouth to God's ear on football...I've kept quiet about NFL & the year's gone gr8, not gonna spoil it now!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

i like it when he goes on one of his rants..

texlahoma said...

Hi Sooner, What's up?

I'm going to do something I've never done before, let someone comment for me.

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll. You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

i knew pat was in league with the devil..ha