I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

BRILLIAN IDEA

So Babs and I ran errands yesterday and then I went to library to check out some new books..6 brand new ones are in and I snatched them up..I'm so happy, I'm giddy. But she hadn't cataloged them yet so I said I'd do a little slave labor for her and shelf some books while she got them ready. She looks at me and sort of grinned and said 'After you go home and change your t-shirt..' I looked down and I had my Dick U t-shirt on..Great shirt to be wearing while volunteering at the library.
I spent an hour there and then went and picked up Babs and we went to The Pizza House of West and had bacon cheeseburgers. I made a Jackiesue..I put red salsa, guacamole, and sour cream on it and we split a Skunk Egg. While picking it apart(still trying to figure out what's in it as I'm sure that lying chef is not giving all the ingredients.) I had a brilliant idea. Instead of making the big (size of a soft ball) Skunk Egg...they should make about 6-8 walnut sized ones and call them Skunk Balls. I told our waitress and the lady at the cashier and they cracked up and said it was a good idea. But she said they couldn't get them to make fried pickles because it was too much work, so didn't think they wanted to go to the trouble to make Skunk Balls, but she would mention it..

It's supposed to rain all day and I have to go to House of Satan for my flat of eggs, and other assorted stuff I can't get in West. Also looking for a new hair color. I really don't want to dye my hair again. I feel like I have earned everyone of these gray hairs and wear them like a badge of honor..This one is for the time Thom got drunk and threw up in the truck. This one is for the time Maryjo shaved off one side of her head. This is for the time David kidnapped Thom's Howdy Doody Doll and left a ransom note saying "If you ever want to see your son again, leave $5 under your pillow." But everyone seems I should go the extra mile to look good for Jenny's wedding..Everyone being Shady Lane who is burning up the Internet with emails with new hair styles, colors, dresses, shoes etc. This is her thing...shopping and getting dolled up. My thing is finding the most politically incorrect T-shirt in my size and in black. But ...like I always say, you gotta suffer to sing the blues.
Yesterday after I got back from being gone most of the afternoon I came home to mayhem..everything that was on my side table by my recliner was on the floor..Pens, clippers, remote, crossword puzzles, pill bottles, gum, cough drops, etc. all over the living room floor and Prince Dexter laying right in the middle of it.. flat on his back with legs all sprawled out..looked like he was dead, the little fucker. He rolled over on his side and gave me the 'your shoes will soon have shit in them look.' I love the little fucker but he does walk a thin line between life and fur mittens. Well even if I don't want to ..I need to go throw my tits in a bra, slip into my t-shirt that says TEXAS ...WE'RE BIGGER THAN FRANCE..and go to the bank, Dollar General and maybe the 2 grocery stores. Today the West News comes out with all the sales ads. Yesterday I bought 4 packages of chicken breast with 4 in each for $4 a piece..baked 8 of them last night and froze them so I can take one out and thaw it as needed. They are huge..I know they must be shot up full of steroids but damn they taste good. I'm going to try and eat more of a Mediterranean diet. So I'm going to try and find some whole wheat noodles and some brown rice...whee...be still my fucking heart. uh oh...here comes ole kiss my ass...damn..walked by and flipped my garbage can by the computer and never even looked at it..I'm getting the 'you've been on the machine long enough, get off or suffer the consequences..shit..there go the books..gotta go..

18 comments:

sageweb said...

hahah I love the skunk ball idea. That dexter is up to no good but he sure is cute.

Patsy said...

I love reading your posts! I can almost imagine you sitting opposite me blathering away when as they're a real 'conversation'. :o)

jan said...

Skunk balls!! that sounds like a great idea for a franchise.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Speaking of skunk balls, does Dexter still have his? If he does, maybe getting The Big Snip would settle him down to being a quiet, nice, housecat instead of Satan's Stand-in!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh yes, I also had a good laugh at your Dick U t-shirt. Reminded me of a funny t-shirt I saw many years ago. There's a small Inuit village in Canada's Northwest Territories called Tuktoyaktuk and someone produced souvenir t-shirts (which had an official looking university crest and everything) that said Tuk U. It was risque for its time 20 years ago, but nowadays everybody's second word is fuck, so I'm sure it no longer has the same humorous shock value.

Kulkuri said...

UP on the tundra there is a Lutheran college that changed its name to Finlandia University and now people are wandering around with hats and shirts that have F U on them!!!!

Your skunk balls reminds me of "South Park" and Chef's salty brown balls!!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

sage, I think skunk balls is a gret idea...I may make my own version of skunk eggs and call them skunk balls and set up a franchise..ha
patsy:it's exactly how I talk...free stream..ha..
jan:see, we think alike..wanna go in as partners?
debra:no he has no balls..but he sure doesn't act like it..plus he's still a kitteh so he might out grown it...
i kinda like tuc u...
kulkuri:or alec baldwin on sat night live..with his svetty balls..

Twain12 said...

yummy skunk balls ..i just love Deskter LOL

rosemary said...

I wore shirts to work at the Library that were a bit edgy.....always kept a sweater in my locker just in case. Dexter has won. give up.

Karl said...

Good afternoon Jackiesue,

Gee wiz, it was suppose the beef'n bean, not Skunk'n ball.

So what is in a skunk egg?

billy pilgrim said...

if skunk eggs are half as good as skunk week i'd like try them.

rainywalker said...

Remember when I do make it to West the skunk eggs are on me. We are still sorting the 30,00 books for the store and putting them in the program. Good to hear your humor again! Oh, where have I been? Got caught going through airport security with a girdle on!

heartinhand said...

What's your size in case I see a particularly offensive Canadian t-shirt?!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

twain:i am going to have to work on a recipe..
rosemary:whats the use of wearing a tshirt if you cant offend someone?
hi karl:skunk egg is minced chicken,minced onion, minced bacon, 3 kinds of cheese lots of spices sort of wadding into a ball shape (softball size) and then dipped in spicy batter and deep fried.
billy:well, i know they sure smell a lot better.
heart:large if the sizes run big and xl if they run small...

texlahoma said...

Skunk Balls is a great idea. But if they catch on, look out. It might get you a new nickname "Here comes Skunk Balls."

Ted Amadeus said...

The skunk balls idea is awesome...Hell, so is the skunk egg! I gotta get down there sometime in the off-season! Loved that bit about the kidnapped Howdy-Doody doll & the ransom note (LMAO!)
If there's anyone there that does hair you can trust, have them make your hair silver. That shit in the stores is not reliable, just turns it blue. When it's done right, it's pretty.
Or, if you like disco and punk, give pink, purple & orange a try...worked for my generation!

Nit Wit said...

Dexter is just mad because you were out with people and cutting into his monopoly on your time.

Skunk Balls sound like a great idea. If they could get them to do the fried pickles you could serve them together. One pickle and two skunk balls to an order. If they can't do the pickles I guess you could use a fried Twinkee or Sinkers bar.

Intense Guy said...

Excellent idea! - sort of a take off on the "donut holes" they used to sell at Dunkn Donuts (do they still?)

I bet even Dexter would love a skunk ball.