I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Sunday, June 13, 2010

BRAINWASHED CHRISTIAN

Stole this from Facebook...I love facebook..

10 Signs that you are a Brainwashed Christian
10. You vigorously deride belief in the existence of other gods (Thor, Osiris, Ganesha, etc...) as foolish, and archaic, but feel persecuted if someone derides belief in your god.
9. You are insulted and incredulous when scientists state that people evolved from "lower" life forms, but have no problem with your bible stating that we were created from dirt.
8. You think polytheism is archaic, and silly but have no problem with a "trinity"god.
7. You go crazy when you hear how the Quran commands beating women, or killing atheists and Jews, but you think it is a moral allegory when the bible commands genocide, or when god orders the slaughter of all the babies in Egypt, or even when he orders the "untouched" women to be raped as spoils of war.
6. You think that evidence for god is merely a question for which you don't know the answer. IE-"Where did beauty come from? God did it" or "Why are things so complex? God did it."
5. You think that the burden of proof lies with Atheists to disprove your claim, instead of on you to provide evidence for your own.
4. You think that there is a place that God sends people who don't believe as you do, to suffer in pain, torment and torture. Not only are you OK with this, but you still consider your religion "tolerant" and your god "loving".
3. Geology conclusively proving that the flood didn't happen, or history proving that the bible was written by man, or science proving that the earth is 5 billion years old doesn't convince you, but one idiot rolling around speaking gibberish and calling it tongues is all the evidence that you need.
2. You laugh at the claim that Greek gods slept with women, but don't blink an eye when recounting the story of the holy spirit impregnating Mary (without her permission), giving birth to a man/god who was sent by himself, as a blood sacrifice to himself, to appease himself, to convince himself to forgive his creations of things that he himself knew they would do, then to raise himself from the dead to ascend and be with himself again.
1. You think that the story of a man who lied to his son, brought him to an altar under false pretenses, tied him up in terror, and raised a knife with the intent to look into his eyes and slaughter him, is a good and moral story. You think that it was good that he proved his loyalty to his lord, you are OK with the evil concept of blood sacrifice and even more than OK that a supposedly moral God would command such a thing.
Runner up- You think that it is a mythological story to hear about Icarus flying too close to the sun, but Jonah surviving for 3 days inside a whale is perfectly reasonable.
Runner up #2- You think that a 0.01% success rate for prayer is proof of god, or that things that might have happened anyway, happened merely because YOU wanted them to and you prayed for it. You think that the other 99.9% is just an example of Gods mysterious ways
.(#2A- You would rather convince yourself that you are helping by sitting alone and thinking about someone, and call it prayer, then actually getting up off your ass and DOING something.)

Here is a message to Christians everywhere;If you can identify with any of these things, you need to seriously rethink your beliefs, your morality, and your parental skills and....
READ A BOOK!

15 comments:

Anne Johnson said...

ROTFL, Granny! Goddess will love this one!

Charlene said...

This is good!

turquoisemoon said...

and that's just the tip of the iceburg!!!

turquoisemoon said...

iceberg...LOL Guess I got worked up!!!

Intense Guy said...

Only the lazy will not think critically of things.

Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action. In its exemplary form, it is based on universal intellectual values that transcend subject matter divisions: clarity, accuracy, precision, consistency, relevance, sound evidence, good reasons, depth, breadth, and fairness.

Most religions fear this type of thinking as they need to fill the collection plate(s).

Debra She Who Seeks said...

People believe the darndest things, don't they? Personally, I don't have any problem with that. People can believe any crazy-ass shit they want. It's when they start acting on those beliefs that all the senseless killing, raping and suffering starts. That's why religions should never be organized, in my opinion.

Anonymous said...

Crap, now I forgot what I was going to say.

Jan

Mom said...

I am a Christian, but I have found way too many people who call themselves by the name of Christ are an embarrassment. God is love. Your religion should never get in the way of love.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I don't want anyone to think I'm against Christians...just against the crazy ones...ha..
jan you make me laugh.

Ted Amadeus said...

They left out the best one: Think homosexuality is evil, but have no qualms with pederast priests.
Just a few of the reasons I escaped from denominational religion in 1987 and I ain't NEVER going back!
One of these days YG, I'm gonna hafta send you a copy of an album I have, called Many Ways by Tom Burke...You'll laugh your ass off.

Nit Wit said...

Most of the so called Christians I have met ignore 99% of the bible for those few bits of nonsense that they think support their bigoted vision of the world. Of course the majority of them have never really read the thing and only parrot what they hear from a pulpit just before they are conned out of even more of their money.

rjjs8878 said...

Amen, sister!

Rainwolf said...

Best thing I've read so far today. Now on to the stumbles....

Blueberry said...

Been there. Came to my senses. Lucky me. Lucky everybody who knows me.

Ted Amadeus said...

YdG, I don't know if you wrote this one yourself, got it from the DAMNews or elsewhere, but it is excellent in it's thought-provokingness.
Nit-Wit, most those birds would read half of it, label Granny a commie than run off: Funny-mental-ism is the result of a closed-and-locked mind; a brain so dead if it ever really saw the Light, it would run back into the cave and hide, because the light's too big to fit in it's narrow, coffin-shaped, "one true" box of denominational religious stupidity.
Now unfortunately, the same can be said for academics!
Sad, very sad.