I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Sunday, August 15, 2010

CLASS REUNION.

It's all a matter of appearances.
Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Rachel arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Rachel in a glass of wine. Then Samantha walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Rachel explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Clare relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples,
Florida.

Samantha explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Ben. They run a tropical bird park in California and grow their own vegetables. Ben can stand five parrots, side by side, on his willy.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Rachel blurts out the her husband is a cashier at Walmart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby a storage facility.

Clare, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Samantha says that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

13 comments:

jp said...

I like Samantha. I would probably like her husband even more.

Twain12 said...

hehe

Jan said...

Did not see that coming

Debra She Who Seeks said...

So do you sidle up to men now and ask "How many parrots?"

Big Pissy said...

hahaha!!!!

Love it!

Peg said...

Thanks for always making me smile!

rosemary said...

love it....

Name: female, not even with a capital F. I shit you not! said...

This ole gal had to read it twice, BUT I got it. ;0)

Nit Wit said...

All I could think of is that Parrots have talons for feet.
Must be a guy thing.

more cowbell said...

In my mind, Samantha was way hotter anyway and didn't have a stick up her ass.

Also, the whole talon thing bothered me, too.

Ted Amadeus said...

Tried that parrot thing one time...Damn 8th bird kept digging his talons in.
Thanks for the memories, NitWit!

Intense Guy said...

LMAO!

Its gonna be just like the ruler they use for measuring 'em... where 8 inches is really 5...

I bet I can find some really, really small parrots...

:)

rox said...

LOL!