I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Sunday, December 26, 2010

DEADWOOD FUCKS

The Number of Fucks In Deadwood
HBO's series Deadwood had a reputation for salty dialogue even before the first episode aired. It was nearly impossible, they said, to keep count of the number of f-words spoken during each program. We took it as a challenge.

Total fucks in series: 2980
Cumulative series FPM: 1.56

Total fucks in Season Three: 1050
Average fucks per episode: 87.5
Cumulative Season Three FPM: 1.73

Total fucks in Season Two: 1099
Average fucks per episode: 91.6
Cumulative Season Two FPM: 1.76

Total fucks in Season One: 831
Average fucks per episode: 69.3
Cumulative Season One FPM: 1.23

Episode Thirty-Six "Tell Him Something Pretty"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 4
Minutes 10 thru 19: 10
Minutes 20 thru 29: 23
Minutes 30 thru 39: 31
Minutes 40 thru 49: 21

Total fucks in Episode Thirty-Six: 89
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.82

*49 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2980
Cumulative FPM: 1.56

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirty-Six: 1
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 89 : 1

Episode Thirty-Five "The Catbird Seat"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 21
Minutes 10 thru 19: 13
Minutes 20 thru 29: 23
Minutes 30 thru 39: 6
Minutes 40 thru 49: 7

Total fucks in Episode Thirty-Five: 70
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.43

*49 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2891
Cumulative FPM: 1.56

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirty-Five: 4
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 17.5 : 1

Episode Thirty-Four "A Constant Throb"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 11
Minutes 10 thru 19: 27
Minutes 20 thru 29: 24
Minutes 30 thru 39: 24
Minutes 40 thru 47: 22

Total fucks in Episode Thirty-Four: 108
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.30

*47 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2821
Cumulative FPM: 1.56

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirty-Four: 7
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 15.4 : 1

Episode Thirty-Three "Amateur Night"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 3
Minutes 10 thru 19: 16
Minutes 20 thru 29: 23
Minutes 30 thru 39: 9
Minutes 40 thru 50: 19

Total fucks in Episode Thirty-Three: 70
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.40

*50 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2713
Cumulative FPM: 1.54

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirty-Three: 12
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 5.8 : 1

Episode Thirty-Two "Leviathan Smiles"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 10
Minutes 10 thru 19: 30
Minutes 20 thru 29: 2
Minutes 30 thru 39: 13
Minutes 40 thru 49: 10
Minutes 50 thru 53: 2

Total fucks in Episode Thirty-Two: 67
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.26

*53 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2643
Cumulative FPM: 1.54

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirty-Two: 5
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 13.4 : 1

Episode Thirty-One "Unauthorized Cinnamon"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 9
Minutes 10 thru 19: 25
Minutes 20 thru 29: 12
Minutes 30 thru 39: 9
Minutes 40 thru 49: 19

Total fucks in Episode Thirty-One: 74
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.51

*49 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2576
Cumulative FPM: 1.55

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirty-One: 0

Episode Thirty "A Rich Find"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 13
Minutes 10 thru 19: 35
Minutes 20 thru 29: 24
Minutes 30 thru 39: 12
Minutes 40 thru 49: 19
Minutes 50 thru 52: 6

Total fucks in Episode Thirty: 109
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.10

*52 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2502
Cumulative FPM: 1.55

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirty: 5
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 21.8 : 1

Episode Twenty-Nine "A Two-Headed Beast"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 20
Minutes 10 thru 19: 14
Minutes 20 thru 29: 17
Minutes 30 thru 39: 10
Minutes 40 thru 49: 24
Minutes 50 thru 53: 8

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Nine: 93
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.75

*53 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2393
Cumulative FPM: 1.54

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Nine: 2
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 46.5 : 1

Episode Twenty-Eight "Full Faith And Credit"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 14
Minutes 10 thru 19: 37
Minutes 20 thru 29: 26
Minutes 30 thru 39: 15
Minutes 40 thru 49: 29
Minutes 50 thru 51: 16

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Eight: 137
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.69

*51 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2300
Cumulative FPM: 1.53

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Eight: 7
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 19.6 : 1

Episode Twenty-Seven "True Colors"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 15
Minutes 10 thru 19: 12
Minutes 20 thru 29: 27
Minutes 30 thru 39: 6
Minutes 40 thru 50: 5

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Seven: 65
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.30

*50 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2163
Cumulative FPM: 1.49

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Seven: 4
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 16.3 : 1

Episode Twenty-Six "I Am Not The Fine Man You Took Me For"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 4
Minutes 10 thru 19: 18
Minutes 20 thru 29: 5
Minutes 30 thru 39: 21
Minutes 40 thru 49: 15
Minutes 50 thru 52: 3

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Six: 66
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.27

*52 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2098
Cumulative FPM: 1.49

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Six: 4
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 16.5 : 1

Episode Twenty-Five "Tell Your God To Ready For Blood"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 4
Minutes 10 thru 19: 17
Minutes 20 thru 29: 30
Minutes 30 thru 39: 24
Minutes 40 thru 49: 19
Minutes 50 thru 52: 8

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Five: 102
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.96

*52 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 2032
Cumulative FPM: 1.50

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Five: 8
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 12.8 : 1


Season Two Recap

Episode Twenty-Four "Boy the Earth Talks To"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 13
Minutes 10 thru 19: 31
Minutes 20 thru 29: 11
Minutes 30 thru 39: 15
Minutes 40 thru 49: 11
Minutes 50 thru 57: 12

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Four: 93
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.63

*57 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1930
Cumulative FPM: 1.48

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Four: 7
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 13.3 : 1

Episode Twenty-Three "The Whores Can Come"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 4
Minutes 10 thru 19: 13
Minutes 20 thru 29: 29
Minutes 30 thru 39: 10
Minutes 40 thru 46: 20

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Three: 76
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.65

*46 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1837
Cumulative FPM: 1.48

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Three: 8
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 9.5 : 1

Episode Twenty-Two "Advances, None Miraculous"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 13
Minutes 10 thru 19: 20
Minutes 20 thru 29: 19
Minutes 30 thru 39: 8
Minutes 40 thru 50: 2

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-Two: 62
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.24

*50 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1761
Cumulative FPM: 1.47

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-Two: 7
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 8.86 : 1

Episode Twenty-One "Amalgamation and Capital"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 7
Minutes 10 thru 19: 27
Minutes 20 thru 29: 45
Minutes 30 thru 39: 14
Minutes 40 thru 48: 4

Total fucks in Episode Twenty-One: 97
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.02

*48 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1699
Cumulative FPM: 1.48

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty-One: 5
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 19.4 : 1

Episode Twenty "Childish Things"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 9
Minutes 10 thru 19: 8
Minutes 20 thru 29: 16
Minutes 30 thru 39: 14
Minutes 40 thru 49: 34
minutes 50 thru 51: 2

Total fucks in Episode Twenty: 83
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.63

*51 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1602
Cumulative FPM: 1.46

Total cocksuckers in Episode Twenty: 5
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 16.6 : 1

Episode Nineteen "E.B. Was Left Out"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 6
Minutes 10 thru 19: 20
Minutes 20 thru 29: 17
Minutes 30 thru 39: 19
Minutes 40 thru 50: 51

Total fucks in Episode Nineteen: 113
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.26

*50 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1519
Cumulative FPM: 1.45

Total cocksuckers in Episode Nineteen: 4
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 28.3 : 1

Episode Eighteen "Something Very Expensive"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 7
Minutes 10 thru 19: 20
Minutes 20 thru 29: 26
Minutes 30 thru 39: 17
Minutes 40 thru 49: 23
Minutes 50 thru 57: 5

Total fucks in Episode Eighteen: 98
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.72

*57 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1406
Cumulative FPM: 1.41

Total cocksuckers in Episode Eighteen: 9
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 10.9 : 1

Episode Seventeen "Complications"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 11
Minutes 10 thru 19: 6
Minutes 20 thru 29: 17
Minutes 30 thru 39: 49
Minutes 40 thru 49: 29
Minutes 50 thru 57: 9

Total fucks in Episode Seventeen: 121
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.12

*57 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1308
Cumulative FPM: 1.39

Total cocksuckers in Episode Seventeen: 6
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 20.1 : 1

Episode Sixteen "Requiem For A Gleet"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 5
Minutes 10 thru 19: 20
Minutes 20 thru 29: 11
Minutes 30 thru 39: 18
Minutes 40 thru 49: 21
Minutes 50 thru 52: 13

Total fucks in Episode Sixteen: 88
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.69

*52 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1187
Cumulative FPM: 1.34

Total cocksuckers in Episode Sixteen: 14
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 6.3 : 1

Episode Fifteen "New Money"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 6
Minutes 10 thru 19: 1
Minutes 20 thru 29: 24
Minutes 30 thru 39: 19
Minutes 40 thru 49: 26
Minutes 50 thru 58: 15

Total fucks in Episode Fifteen: 91
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.57

*58 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1099
Cumulative FPM: 1.32

Total cocksuckers in Episode Fifteen: 8
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 11.4 : 1

Episode Fourteen "A Lie Agreed Upon, Part 2"

Fucks per ten minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 11
Minutes 10 thru 19: 19
Minutes 20 thru 29: 16
Minutes 30 thru 39: 36
Minutes 40 thru 50: 29

Total fucks in Episode Fourteen: 111
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.22

*50 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 1008
Cumulative FPM: 1.30

Total cocksuckers in Episode Fourteen: 15
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 7.4 : 1

Episode Thirteen "A Lie Agreed Upon, Part 1"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 4
Minutes 10 thru 19: 20
Minutes 20 thru 29: 16
Minutes 30 thru 39: 22
Minutes 40 thru 49: 4

Total fucks in Episode Thirteen: 66
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.35

*49 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 897
Cumulative FPM: 1.24

Total cocksuckers in Episode Thirteen: 8
Ratio of fucks to cocksuckers: 8.25 : 1

Season One Recap

Episode Twelve "Sold Under Sin"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 1
Minutes 10 thru 19: 18
Minutes 20 thru 29: 6
Minutes 30 thru 39: 10
Minutes 40 thru 49: 2
Minutes 50 thru 60: 4

Total fucks in Episode Twelve: 41
Fucks per minute (FPM): 0.683

Cumulative fucks in series: 831
Cumulative FPM: 1.23


Episode Eleven "Jewel's Boot Is Made For Walking"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 7
Minutes 10 thru 19: 7
Minutes 20 thru 29: 11
Minutes 30 thru 39: 13
Minutes 40 thru 49: 6
Minutes 50 thru 60: 59

Total fucks in Episode Eleven: 103
Fucks per minute (FPM): 1.72

Cumulative fucks in series: 790
Cumulative FPM: 1.28

Episode Ten "Mr. Wu"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 10
Minutes 10 thru 19: 19
Minutes 20 thru 29: 26
Minutes 30 thru 39: 48
Minutes 40 thru 49: 27
Minutes 50 thru 54: 3

Total fucks in Episode Ten: 133
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 2.46

*54 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 687
Cumulative FPM: 1.24

Episode Nine "No Other Sons Or Daughters"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 9
Minutes 10 thru 19: 22
Minutes 20 thru 29: 11
Minutes 30 thru 39: 31
Minutes 40 thru 49: 2
Minutes 50 thru 58: 13

Total fucks in Episode Nine: 88
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.52

*58 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 554
Cumulative FPM: 1.11

Episode Eight "Suffer The Little Children"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 18
Minutes 10 thru 19: 26
Minutes 20 thru 29: 8
Minutes 30 thru 39: 11
Minutes 40 thru 49: 24
Minutes 50 thru 55: 5

Total fucks in Episode Eight: 92
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.67

*55 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 466
Cumulative FPM: 1.05

Episode Seven "Bullock Returns To The Camp"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 3
Minutes 10 thru 19: 21
Minutes 20 thru 29: 10
Minutes 30 thru 39: 8
Minutes 40 thru 50: 25

Total fucks in Episode Seven: 67
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.34

*50 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 374
Cumulative FPM: 0.964

Episode Six "Plague"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 4
Minutes 10 thru 19: 19
Minutes 20 thru 29: 12
Minutes 30 thru 39: 23
Minutes 40 thru 49: 10
Minutes 50 thru 51: 9

Total fucks in Episode Six: 77
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.51

*51 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 307
Cumulative FPM: 0.908


Episode Five "The Trial Of Jack McCall"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 10
Minutes 10 thru 19: 5
Minutes 20 thru 29: 7
Minutes 30 thru 39: 8
Minutes 40 thru 49: 4
Minutes 50 thru 55: 6

Total fucks in Episode Five: 40
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 0.727

*55 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 230
Cumulative FPM: 0.801

Episode Four "Here Was A Man"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 4
Minutes 10 thru 19: 3
Minutes 20 thru 29: 3
Minutes 30 thru 39: 12
Minutes 40 thru 49: 4
Minutes 50 thru 52: 0

Total fucks in Episode Four: 26
Fucks per minute (FPM): 0.433

Cumulative fucks in series: 190
Cumulative FPM: 0.819

Episode Three "Reconnoitering the Rim"

Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 5
Minutes 10 thru 19: 12
Minutes 20 thru 29: 20
Minutes 30 thru 39: 6
Minutes 40 thru 49: 11
Minutes 50 thru 52: 6

Total fucks in Episode Three: 60
Fucks per minute (FPM)*: 1.15

* 52 minute episode

Cumulative fucks in series: 164
Cumulative FPM: 0.953

Episode Two "Deep Water"


Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 3
Minutes 10 thru 19: 4
Minutes 20 thru 29: 14
Minutes 30 thru 39: 16
Minutes 40 thru 49: 7
Minutes 50 thru 60: 5

Total fucks in Episode Two: 49
Fucks per minute (FPM): 0.817

Cumulative fucks in series: 104
Cumulative FPM: 0.867


Episode One "Deadwood"


Fucks per ten-minute segment

Minutes 0 thru 9: 12
Minutes 10 thru 19: 9
Minutes 20 thru 29: 3
Minutes 30 thru 39: 21
Minutes 40 thru 49: 9
Minutes 50 thru 60: 1

Total fucks in Episode One: 55
Fucks per minute (FPM): 0.917

Cumulative fucks in series: 55
Cumulative FPM: 0.917


The West Virginia Surf Report!

13 comments:

MarkD60 said...

What the fuck is this?

Blueberry said...

HA HA!! Obviously, fucks come cheap, and can't compare to a well-placed cocksucker.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

Mark..it's a HBO tv show..(canceled) and was one of the best shows on tv..ever.but the language is worse than mine..ha..
blueberry:I always liked the Chinese guy Wu when he said cocksucker..
cocksucka...ha

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I haven't seen this fuckin series but it's on my fuckin To See List. I understand they're a bunch of foul-mouthed fuckin cocksuckers. My kinda people!

Kulkuri said...

I guess fucking Deadwood, SD has changed because when I was there 5 or 6 years ago, they didn't fucking talk like that any fucking more.

Jan said...

Reminds me of one time when I was doing box office for our community theatre and a couple came out to protest before leaving that they had counted seven goddamns and four fucks in the first act.

OMG. you counted?

We advertised it as "Strong language." What the fuck did they think that meant?

Ted Amadeus said...

Thanks for "the short fucking version". Now I gotta buy the cocksucker, because it sounds like my kind of fuckin show!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

So what's the fuckin' beef?

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I like how the fucks and cocksuckers built up from season to season..I'd like to see them bring it back..I loved loved loved this show..and my favorite character was Calamity Jane..oh she was perfect..I've never laughed out loud as much to anything as I did to her..

jadedj said...

It's nice to see you have a fucking hobby, YD G ;-)

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

i could take that 2 ways jadedj..
a fucking hobby..or a hobby of fucking..

Susan said...

I'm so fucking glad I found this blog and this blogger!

Intense Guy said...

Aren't statistics wonderful.

:)

LMAO!