WEST, TEXAS NEWS 3/31/10

All sorts of stuff going on here in West, By Goddess, Texas. First of all..the most important news..Bold Springs Baptist Church is making hamburgers starting at 11 a.m. on April 5. I have putt my self on a strict diet so I'm not sure I will allow myself to go and get me one. But then Goddess knows I'm weak and it's just a fucking hamburger..sigh*

JCDA Easter Egg Hunt this Saturday at the Community Center. The Easter Bunny will be there so the kids can have their picture taken. I wonder if the Bunny will get pissed off if I hop aboard?

Hippity hoppity happy Easter Day.

The City is asking for survey information so we can apply for a Texas Parks and Wildlife Outdoor Recreational Grant. I'm for sure getting in on this. The survey will be for:

Baseball/Softball complex with picnic pavilions and playgrounds.

Walking/jogging bike trails

Tennis courts

Track Field

other...

We already have an excellent baseball complex with 3 fields. I think they could just add on the picnic pavilions and play grounds to the side of it which is just a big ole field.

I like the idea of the walking/jogging and bike trails.

We're still having the Mayfest on 21-22. Along with a Cowboy Bean Cooking competition and we're also going to have a Farmers Market. Which I hope is better than it was last year. Maybe I'll have better luck with my little garden and can sell or swap my veggies..Yeah, right.

We have some engagements. Savannah Mae Kutscherousky is engaged to Aaron Blake Fullerton and will be married at St. Mary's on April 24. Laci Rae Lynn Horton is engaged to Joshua David Jirasek and will be married May 8 at the First Baptist Church.

Kelciey Leighanne Anderson was married to Brian Joseph Petter at St. Mary's and they really make a great looking couple.

Tokio Store is having a music-packed Saturday as they present "Bowleg Billy" followed by "Jeremy Lynn Woodall."...hot dang.. No cover for Bowleg but $5 for Jeremy. Nors Sausage and Burger House is having an all you can eat catfish this Friday and Saturday is rib-eye night.

St. Mary's had the Drive Through Stations of the Cross. I have pictures this time..(taken by Larry Knapek)

We had 5 deaths and since most were old farts that had lived a good life it's not so sad. But we had a 28 year old that was hit by a car and killed. Especially sad as he served 6 years in the military and was in Iraq from 2002-2005..

The Slovak Realty squad placed second in the T-Ball division this past weekend. The Young Guns won the championship in the age 12 and under minor baseball tourney. While the Cernosek Insurance team placed second in the Girls T-Ball Division.

Trojans open 7-AAA serious with 2 wins. 22-4 over Hillsboro and 9-3 over China Springs. The Lady Trojans beat China Springs 5-4 and Hillsboro in a 5 inning game on the 10-run mercy rule with a 9-1 win.

West Food Mart has shank ham on sale for $1.39 a pound so I bought one. Going to put hot dry rub on it and make spicy pulled pork..I also got 2 cutlets and will make chicken friend steak for Babs and I...I love chicken fried steak..Blue Bell 2 for $8...sigh*... Community Grocery has New York Strip Steaks for $3.99 a pound..hmmm..

Brick house for sale on Harrison Street..which is a stretch of nothing but new brick homes. 3/2.5/2 with 2,868 sq. feet. Large master with private fireplace and central vacuum system for $259,900. Anyone a RN or LVN/RN? We have openings here and at Hillsboro which is 15 miles away. They have openings for Core Measure Data Abstractor, Intection Control Practitioner and weekend supervisor for 8 hour shifts. Plus Czech Stop is always hiring.

Other news has been fun...or not depending..Anessa called. Her middle kid was in a fist fight and was getting the better of the fight and the other kid pulled a knife and stabbed him. Not good. He's still in the hospital but he's going to be ok. The apartments have been selling for months now..everyone knows about it..Will probably go through about mid summer. So Tony (lives over by Babs) is 173 years old and the biggest gossip in the apartments and he goes to Babs and says the apartments are sold and Charlotte is fired. Hmm...So I call Charlotte on a pretext of where you been haven't seen you are you sick?..She's fine..lost her wallet had to go around getting her new drivers license, SS card, etc. So I sezs to Babs..nah...she's still with us. So today (Babs and I are so evil) we're coming back from getting West News and some groceries and we see Charlotte at the apartments by Babs (actually she was yelling at me to slow down..speed limit is 15 and I usually go about 30) so I sezs to Babs..wonder if Charlotte has heard the gossip?...So we go tell her..and Tony just happens to be outside clucking with one of the neighbors..I sezs..'there he is..you should go find out where he's getting his information.' Then we go unload the truck of Babs diet Cherry Dr Pepper and watch Charlotte ream Tony's ass. We were laughing so hard we could hardly walk. Tony is now pissed at us because we ratted him out. We laughed and told him that's what he gets for telling tales. 3 hours later and Babs and I are still giggling about it. Life is good...

LAST LIBERAL IN TEXAS

West, Texas News...West, Texas 2015

As of 6 A.M. central time the last know Liberal in Texas was still on the lose. Even though she's been hunted by every police organization, including the Texas Rangers, for the past 2 months Jacque Denney (aka Jackiesue and Tacky Jackie ) a resident of the Retirement Apartments in West, Texas has still managed to elude capture. She was last seen running naked through a patch of blue bonnets screaming "Catch me if you can mother fuckers, catch me if you can."
Chief of Police of West, Texas, Thomas "Barney" Blaha said she had been 'off the grid' for months and it was an ever ending chase to capture her. "We've set out all her favorite foods and Dublin Dr Pepper to snare her, but for an old broad, she's pretty wily. She's managed to trip every trap set for her and making off with the bait. We tried tasers and stun guns..but for an old lady, she's tougher than a boot. She just takes the juice, laughs hysterically and says:"Is that all you got you republican assholes.".. We've tried putting sedatives in her food and drink, but it doesn't seem to have any effect on her at all. It's like every thing we use to bring her down..makes her stronger.
The worse part is she leaves insulting messages all over town.. "Republicans are pieces of shit".."Bite me assholes." Just horrible horrible messages. Insulting to us..making fun of our, uh hem, our privates. Saying we got 'tiny dicks', and mean stuff like that. Ain't no call for her to make it personal."
One of her old friends, Inky Adamson said he expected nothing less. "Why I remember when she used to drink, she would whup up on those old boys and call 'em pussies when they cried. I knew they'd never catch her..she's the last of her kind, and it's going to take more than a bunch of rednecks to catch her. Besides she has enough friends left that hide her out and give her shelter when the mercury drops. She won't let us buy her any clothes...she says "That's my best weapon Ink, my big old fat ass running through the corn patch telling them to kiss it...Well, fuck son, it just makes my day."
We'll have an up date on the next sighting. Last we heard she was hanging out at the High School trying to teach the kids not to believe what they read in their history books, that the world is not flat and the earth is older than 6,000 years old. Can you believe that? No wonder she's the last of her kind..believing all that crazy shit.

LAUGH AND THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU. cry and your mascara will run and then the world will laugh at you.

hope this makes your day..'cause some of them made mine..

I HAVE AWARDS COMING OUT MY ASS

MISSBEHAVIN' over at MONKEY BUSINESS gave me a sunshine award..I like that..When I was a stoner during the 60's..that was my nickname..'sunshine'...or as I liked to say 'hey, fucking sunshine to you'....Anyhow..I'm most pleased..now have to figure out which one of you that positivity and creativity inspires people the most. Which will be really hard as you all inspire me. but I'll try.

http://monkeybusiness2009.blogspot.com/

Here are the rules:
1. Place the award on your blog or within your post.
2. Pass the award on to 12 Sunny Bloggers -- those whose positivity and creativity inspire others!
3. Link to the nominees in your post.
4. Tell the nominees they've received the award by commenting on their blogs.
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received the award.

1.Jorge over at:http://dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com/ I really do like. He never comments, and doubt if he even reads my blog. He's a busy guy. But he's the sweetest most positive person I know. He also plays Hurley on Lost. Check him out and if you can go back a bunch of posts and watch the ones with Beth and the rats, you'll laugh your ass off.

2.Elizabeth over at:http://art-lifeandlovelizabeth.blogspot.com/ is just a gem of a human being. I love her...I love her family..I love her posts.

3.Rosemary at:http://rosemarys-attic.blogspot.com/ will always be in my heart. She's the one thatpaid a shit load of money for me to have the DAM News for 6 months. She's in my will.

4.Rain over at:http://rainbowwolf.blogspot.com/ is my special project. Ha....she reminds me of me and some times that's a good thing and sometimes not. She doesn't want anyone to know it..but she's got a heart as big as Texas.

5.Big Pissy over at :http://southerncircleofhellpartdeux.blogspot.com/, is really an inspiration. She's had some major blockades tossed into her life lately and has handled it a lot better than I would...She's smart, funny and can bounce back better than anyone I know.

6. Pat over at : http://ishitunot.blogspot.com/she's brand spanking new to blogging. She found me looking up stuff about West...she used to live here. Now she lives it through my eyes and has decided to do some blogging on her own. Give her a try ...she's in need of readers and think you'll be glad you did.

I'm stopping at six..I made do 6 more at a later time..But think if I put up 12 you might not be as interested to check that many out. So check these out..you'll like them..I sure do.

JOKE

A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog." Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, he wins, give him the dog."

STOLEN FROM BOROWITZ REPORT..again.

March 26, 2010
Obama's Obscure Pronunciation of "Nuclear" Breaks with Tradition
Little Heard Since Carter Presidency, Historians Say

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - In what some are calling the boldest move of his Presidency, Barack Obama broke with a time-honored tradition observed by several U.S. Presidents including George W. Bush by pronouncing the word "nuclear" as it appears in the dictionary.Announcing the new weapons pact with Russia today, Mr. Obama repeatedly pronounced the word "nuclear" in a way that has rarely been used by a U.S. President since Jimmy Carter was in the White House.But according to Davis Logsdon, a professor of international relations at the University of Minnesota, Mr. Obama's pronunciation of "nuclear" may have been key to the diplomatic breakthrough: "The Russians have heard Presidents pronounce it "nucular" for so long, they may have thought he was offering something new."Mr. Obama's obscure pronunciation of "nuclear" drew harsh reactions from members of the Tea Party movement, who see the President's obsession with correct English usage as an attempt to make the nation more European.A sign at a recent Teabagger rally read, "Obama Wants to Disconnect Your Granma (sic) and Correct Your Gramar (sic)."Elsewhere, Sarah Palin campaigned for John McCain today in a bid to shore up his support among morons

AND BIDEN SAYS

all of a sudden?...I'm starting to really like ole Biden

T.G.I.F. noooo shit!