I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A OKIE RANT..you know who it is.

Yes I AM a Jackwagon
A BYGAWD Jackwagon Grand Master Nimrod of the Eleventeenth Order
Jerryworld, Skeletor(Jerry Jones) relinquishes his power, ...again
Well, the anointed one is finally gonna get his chance, and I think it is a positive move for me as a fan, because Jason Garrett uses the word "football" a lot when he gives a press conference, as opposed to a recently departed coach who now has a dream job in Houston,... roflmao at his press conferences, ...him-hawing, clearing his throat a lot, and stating "It is what it is"...in a defeated hopeless broken way. And you know, I actually like Wade Phillips, he is an excellent coach with an impeccable degree, and he is an established "elite" Defensive coordinator. Too bad Skeletor had him check his spine at the coat closet at Valley Ranch.
Jerry "Skeletor" Jones, named aptly for his extremely TAUT facial skin, says that Jason will have control of all personnel decisions, as in coaches and hiring and the Draft.
GET REAL, maybe two months before he pulls the trigger on a draft pick or a free agent, "it is his destiny , Luke." He will "suggest" that Jason "consider" his "opinion" on "ALL"staff hirings, lol.
The Cowboys got a lot of issues. They are much better off with the change that has been made, but they are an aging team with critical flaws.
The secondary (corner/safety) and the offensive line ARE "offensive."
They also need another defensive end/backer, and a true slot/scat back receiver to help take pressure off of Romo in check-down mode.
Here is my Jerryworld Litmus Test:
Name the Dallas Cowboys players that are currently in the top three at their position? ,,,waiting..CHA-CHING!
Two...Jason Witten at tight end and Demarcus Ware at def. end backer. Two on the whole roster. They are old and there are lots of holes to fill, it will be interesting to see the roster changes in the off-season, I am envisioning a coupla firing squads in Jerryworld.
The following opinion is conceived because I am a jackwagon, and not because I am a Sooner fan as well. HA.
One quick thing about the burnt orange in Austin,... what the fuck happened?
Mack, poor Mack.
"Dagnabbit, let Chizik get away to Iowa State, and now he coaches the National Champions at Auburn...and now Muschamp has flown to Florida. He was my Head-coach-in-Waiting, the boosters are staring at me....nobody LIKES me....Dagnabbit.."

Well, don't worry, they will be back....with or without Mack, but he better win this season, oh yes..
You know, if I were Mack Brown, I'd just cheat like some of the other schools.
Shit, Ohio State had players in their bowl game that exchanged tattoos for signed memorabilia, and Auburn's Heisman Trophy winner's Dad ALLEGEDLY tried to sell his son's talents to Mississippi State. Priceless.
They got hall passes.
The NCAA and the BCS are shams, and they are entities that decide who goes to the bowl games, and they in turn reap the biggest profits from our fan-based dollars. Millions, BILLIONS.
The athletes that give up their bodies and privacy don't get DICK for compensation, except for an education. Unless they leave to go pro, ...if they are smart they go back and get that degree. Most do not.
Until then, it is the National media, the school's media coverage and spin savvy, and the athlete's talent that will help them possibly get drafted or signed by a sports agent. Very few lucky ones are gifted enough to achieve this fame, and they better have another career to fall back on when they retire, or they will join me in Jackwagonville.
Who in the fuck decides who gets on the NCAA or the BCS Bowl Committee, huh?
THEY DO, because they simply can. With all the separate "bowl employees" all making a shitload of money, the NCAA and the BCS spread it out with the media and the Corporate Sponsors, and it goes on and on, March Madness, College World Series, etc.etc....
I want a fucking election, because I am gonna pull a "Donald" on these shitheads. It's about time for a playoff that will compensate every school and conference, and reward those teams accordingly that make the playoffs/ tournament/ bowl circuit.
Everybody gets happy, erect nipples and lil pudgies for all, cool beans.
JS,
I hope I have not offended you, yorn or anyone in particular, I am a jackwagon, and it was time to bitch like an old lady with bunions on her "guinea-horn'.
May the bird of paradise drop a golden nugget on your windshield, and may you find it before some sumbitch beats ya to it.
By the way, it is coldern Sarah Palin's cooze up here.
Up yours, and your little dog too.
Love and rockets.
Paco Moreno

6 comments:

squatlo said...

I love a woman who has a passion for sports and knows her shit!

But, for the record, all that TeHass stuff (that burnt orange bastardization of the Vols true colors) is beside the point.

There's only one power conference in college football, and five straight national titles (and 7 of the thirteen BCS bullshit championships) makes the SEC the undisputed king of the land.

We must cheat better'n anybody else...

MarkD60 said...

Whoa! That was mostly over my head! I just look at the "W"s and "L"s next to the teams names!

billy pilgrim said...

skeletor is looking pretty old a tired these days. the team seemed to play better with kitna making the safe plays rather than romo's high risk plays.

Kulkuri said...

Won't comment on the football rant.

Will just say all the Witches are wearing padded bras aroung here!!!

texlahoma said...

I know nothing of these things, so I happily agree!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I love sooner's rants..he just kicks their asses..