I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, March 21, 2011

DON'T EAT THE CHICKEN MONDAY



Spent all day Saturday running back and forth from the apt to the Westfest/Rodeo grounds for the West Volunteer Fire Department barbeque cook off..From my apt to the grounds(with no train in the way) it takes about 3 minutes. The first sign in for judges for chicken was 10:45 then 12:45 for Ribs and then 2:45 for Brisket. Remind me next year not to judge the chicken or if I do..to only do the final round. 4 of the chickens had running blood when I cut into them. Gross. I think they should be disqualified if they are bloody..period.
The ribs were really good..but oh my, the briskets were wonderful. So much better than last year..There were 12 in each category. So I had 36 bites of chicken, ribs and brisket. I won't be able to take a dump for a week.
I talked Mike A. into judging with me and we had a good time. He is just soo goofy..I forget that he's a Scorpio too and he's as big of a clown as I am, if not more. We also(mostly him) told the story about the time we were at The Capital Bar in West about 8pm and drunk as usual. Our friend Lloyd said:"Lets go to Mexico."..and of course being drunk we all said sure, lets go..So off the 3 of us go.(this is 30 years ago) Lloyds a big guy..I mean a big guy..not much taller than me but at least 300 pounds. Mike and I were in our prime..ha..We get there, check into some seedy bar on this side and off we go. I decided I have never been to 'Boys Town' and wanted to go. Judas priest. Sober none of us would have even thought it was a good idea more less actually going there. It was disgusting, to say the least. We went to some filthy bar, I wouldn't even have anything to drink..I asked for a coconut and a hammer. I had to pee, and the men just stood at the bar and peed into this troth of running 'water?'.. and the women's bathroom was a big square room with a cement floor with a hole in the center with a drain on it and water ran thru it and you stood over it and peed. I said lets get the fuck out of here. Well, they wouldn't let them take me out without paying..you can take women in Boys Town, but you can't take them out with out paying. I think it cost them $50 to get me out of there. Really..sigh*..I wanted to go back to the motel and crash (pass out), besides I figured Lloyd wanted some alone time with one of those 'lady's'...so the rest is their story. Lloyd got robbed of his $2,000 watch, his (Jack Daniels) gimme hat, Mike got slipped a Mickey, ended up passed out in Lloyds car and Federales tried to rob him with machine guns. They finally get back to the motel, and we have about $8 left and we put that in the gas tank and we made it back to San Antonio where my Daddy and Stepmother Irma the Worm lived. (Ima is her real name)..lucky for me she is kin to Lloyd and thought he was just perfect(and the whole horrible Mexico trip was my fault)..and they gave us money for gas to get home, fed us and Irma decided Jackie needed to make her world famous Strawberry Daiquiri's and we got drunk all over again. I can't even remember if we spent the night or we drove back to West drunk.
All I know is I'll never forget the look on my Daddy's face when I waked in with those 2 and we started telling the story. If he could he would have spanked me, he would have. And kicked their asses. And you wonder why I quit drinking.
anyhow..will post pictures of the BBQ tomorrow. Now? I'm going to go take a nap.



































9 comments:

Jan said...

Uh...I can't disagree with this...??

Kulkuri said...

Love the one with the Queen!!

billy pilgrim said...

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

god bless mexico.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Your wild former life is a good lesson to us all. Glad you came through okay!

Many excellent yuks and sharp points today! Thanks!

jadedj said...

I am stealing several of these. The no-fly for sure.

MarkD60 said...

I hope you didn't eat the bloody chicken, I agree with you, disqualify.

Mr. Charleston said...

If the damned chicken isn't edible... it's disqualified, I don't care what it tastes like. Maybe it should be a BBQ sauce contest as that's where the real secret to BBQ is anyway. But, you know, to us Southerners, BBQ is just one of those things that's good for your soul.

texlahoma said...

I was going to say something, but that story was so good I forgot.

Intense Guy said...

Laffs @ texlahoma... I know what you mean somedays...