I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

My Favorite New Year's Eve

Being a cocktail waitress and bartender meant that I worked all New Years eve and the next day...it was brutal..Drunks on NYE's usually don't go out except for that one night and they work hard at getting their money's worth ...I have visions of waiting on a table and feeling something wet on my ankle..some asshole who had flown in from some hick town in Oregon had crawled (he was too drunk to walk) across the floor and was licking my foot..why you might wonder? Because I sure as fuck wanted to know why...his response after I had jerked him up by his ears and screamed 'what the fuck were you thinking? in his face..'because you have the purtiest little ole ankles, and they are attached to the purtiest legs and I figured you wouldn't get near as mad at me for licking your feet if I had tried it on your inner thigh..'.
Good point asshole, saved his ass.

So one time it snowed like a bastard and there was no way that anyone was out on the streets and I lived across town from the Palm Gardens, so I ...tada..had the night off..I had a fifth of vodka in the freezer along with 6-8 frozen glasses..Kids were at the sitter and I was going to read and drink vodka ...then wham bam slam on the door..3 of my best buds had trudged thru the snow to my place and wanted me to go out into the snow with them to the nearest bar..which happened to be an all black joint..but it was the late 60's so it was called a 'negro joint.'..One of my friends beating on the door ..was a 'negro'..he worked at First National Bank..vice president of something..he assured me if we were with him we would be welcomed.. so off we goes..
We four ventured out into the snow and ice and cold..having already knocked off the fifth of ice cold vodka between  us..we were pretty jolly when we arrived at the joint, and I use the word joint in the most loving way..Cause it was a really nice bar..bright and cheery and packed full of black faces..except for me and 2 of my dude friends. But we had enough vodka in us to quell any uneasiness we would normally would have had.. Beers all around says I....no place to sit..it's packed..so we sort of just stood around bullshitting and because I was a waitress/bartender I couldn't but help and notice that they were understaffed and could use some help. So I started bussing tables and taking orders..after about 20 minutes I wandered over to this table full of ladies...who were making no attempt to hide their disgust at my being there..I just smiled and cleaned their table and took their order..they were rude and if the races had been swapped they would have called me the N word...but I was not to be deterred..I just kept smiling and making jokes and finally the ice broke..I forget what asinine remark I made but it made them laugh in spite of themselves and I sat down and we had a blast..talking about music, how all men were assholes no matter what color they were and when the bartender yelled at me that he could use some help..the ladies yelled 'go fuck'yo'self'...she's drinking not working..' yep..best New Years Eve ever..

13 comments:

Jan said...

Great story, you have such a talent for making people laugh.

JACKIESUE said...

I'm telling ya..those girls were a tough audience..I think I made them laugh by retelling a story the guy that worked for the bank told me about one of the guys there...he was chipping on his old lady and laughed about it..till he found out she was chipping on him..everyone sang who's making love to your old lady while you're out making love, when ever he came into the bar.

jp said...

I LOVE this story. I need to bring you along with me wherever I go.

booda baby said...

Best story!! I'm crazy about stories that make movies in my head. This is SO one of those.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Your winning ways charm everyone!

Time Served said...

Funny, funny, funny. You should tell more of your stories on Yellowdog.

Grandma K said...

What a great story!

Ol'Buzzard said...

Exactly what I would expect. Have a good year.
the Ol'Buzzard

Jono said...

Great story and the picture shows you were hot back then, too!

JACKIESUE said...

the night I went out with Anissa and Inky and Anissa's sister and niece they sat around telling 'jackie stories'...Victoria who is the one that named me aunt grandma, kept saying:"oh no, she didn't? oh my God, what were you thinking."..she had never been around me while I drank and was totally blown away...

Willym said...

And when they ask us "So how come you know and love this lady down in West, Texas?" We give them this to read!

Big hugs and kisses - but not on the ankle.

MarkD60 said...

Ahhh, anlke licking! What a greaat pickup move!
great tale!

Intense Guy said...

Many members of the Human race are horrible even before they get drunk.

I don't envy anyone in the "customer service" business.