I'm a pagan...I'm a liberal..I live in West, Texas..

Friday, May 11, 2018

FRIDAY... there you have it..



  we wish.....sigh*




























Ok..we all know that I love to share shit with you guys..You would think I would keep my most private thoughts and shit that happens to me on a daily basis to my own damn self, especially if it doesn't exactly make me look good..But noooo.
So my new teeth are wonderful..and I have the smile that earned me the hippy nickname of Sunshine, back..but I'm having issues..it makes a lot of saliva in my mouth making me swallow a lot. When I do that I suck in a lot of air..causing me to burp a lot...AFUCKINGLOT and if the air I suck in has its traveling shoes on it will come out the other end..So I had Abby a couple of weeks ago and I was having issues with this problem...she's in the bathroom yelling 'come wipe me..I have pooped.' so I go running to her..Ok..disclaimer here..my fat ass doesn't run...but I can skoot pretty good.. by the time I make it to the bathroom I'm armed and ready....I was burping and farting..at will..so I'd burp...then fart and fart some more and burp some more..and it went on for a couple of minutes ..it was a sight to see as I would bow and burp..lift leg and fart..wiggling from foot to foot and farting at the same time..I ended my performance with the loudest fart ever..all during this time Abby is watching me from the toilet slack jawed..after several seconds she sits back and said '...can you do that again?' 
Man I got me some skills..

9 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You know you're doing something right when you impress the great-grands, YDG! I've never heard about that particular side effect with dentures -- interesting, LOL!

Thanks for all the great LOLs today -- have a wonderful weekend!

Sandy said...

Sitting here nodding reading them all, some seen some new...some make me want to yell at the computer, but yelling at the computer, is like sitting in one of Sarah's briefings must be like to the journalist.......a total waste of time...but somehow each day I wake up and hope to hear he's been locked up, or tarred and feathered...or kidnapped or something. Sandy' Space

Leeanna Henderson said...

BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! *cough fart cough* Okay I'm good. Woman, you crack me up. I was laughing so hard at what you wrote I nearly fell off the sofa. Goddess knows I can't tolerate another fall no matter what. People are already thinking David is beating me because of all the bruises on my legs and butt.

carolyn said...

A joke I heard calls that multitasking, you just need to add in peeing your pants at the same time. Love your blog and think of you often. Take care

squatlo said...

It's not enough to be in charge of "wiping", but a floor show is required, too?

Makes me sort of glad my grandsons are 10 hours away...

Adam said...

Trumptards can't jump over the spelling hurdles

Alison said...

Your memes are great, but your tale of farting gave me the biggest laugh of the day, so thanks for that!

JACKIESUE said...

Making you guys laugh..makes me feel better..

Rainey said...

Well, there goes another keyboard.