repeat of an old post..thought it would make you laugh again.
West, Texas News...West, Texas 2015
As of 6 A.M. central time the last know Liberal in Texas was still on the lose. Even though she's been hunted by every police organization, including the Texas Rangers, for the past 2 months Jacque Denney (aka Jackiesue and Tacky Jackie ) a resident of the Retirement Apartments in West, Texas has still managed to elude capture. She was last seen running naked through a patch of blue bonnets screaming "Catch me if you can mother fuckers, catch me if you can."
Chief of Police of West, Texas, Thomas "Barney" Blaha said she had been 'off the grid' for months and it was an ever ending chase to capture her. "We've set out all her favorite foods and Dublin Dr Pepper to snare her, but for an old broad, she's pretty wily. She's managed to trip every trap set for her and making off with the bait. We tried tasers and stun guns..but for an old lady, she's tougher than a boot. She just takes the juice, laughs hysterically and says:"Is that all you got you republican assholes.".. We've tried putting sedatives in her food and drink, but it doesn't seem to have any effect on her at all. It's like every thing we use to bring her down..makes her stronger.
The worse part is she leaves insulting messages all over town.. "Republicans are pieces of shit".."Bite me assholes." Just horrible horrible messages. Insulting to us..making fun of our, uh hem, our privates. Saying we got 'tiny dicks', and mean stuff like that. Ain't no call for her to make it personal."
One of her old friends, Inky Adamson said he expected nothing less. "Why I remember when she used to drink, she would whup up on those old boys and call 'em pussies when they cried. I knew they'd never catch her..she's the last of her kind, and it's going to take more than a bunch of rednecks to catch her. Besides she has enough friends left that hide her out and give her shelter when the mercury drops. She won't let us buy her any clothes...she says "That's my best weapon Ink, my big old fat ass running through the corn patch telling them to kiss it...Well, fuck son, it just makes my day."
We'll have an up date on the next sighting. Last we heard she was hanging out at the High School trying to teach the kids not to believe what they read in their history books, that the world is not flat and the earth is older than 6,000 years old. Can you believe that? No wonder she's the last of her kind..believing all that crazy shit.
West, Texas News...West, Texas 2015
As of 6 A.M. central time the last know Liberal in Texas was still on the lose. Even though she's been hunted by every police organization, including the Texas Rangers, for the past 2 months Jacque Denney (aka Jackiesue and Tacky Jackie ) a resident of the Retirement Apartments in West, Texas has still managed to elude capture. She was last seen running naked through a patch of blue bonnets screaming "Catch me if you can mother fuckers, catch me if you can."
Chief of Police of West, Texas, Thomas "Barney" Blaha said she had been 'off the grid' for months and it was an ever ending chase to capture her. "We've set out all her favorite foods and Dublin Dr Pepper to snare her, but for an old broad, she's pretty wily. She's managed to trip every trap set for her and making off with the bait. We tried tasers and stun guns..but for an old lady, she's tougher than a boot. She just takes the juice, laughs hysterically and says:"Is that all you got you republican assholes.".. We've tried putting sedatives in her food and drink, but it doesn't seem to have any effect on her at all. It's like every thing we use to bring her down..makes her stronger.
The worse part is she leaves insulting messages all over town.. "Republicans are pieces of shit".."Bite me assholes." Just horrible horrible messages. Insulting to us..making fun of our, uh hem, our privates. Saying we got 'tiny dicks', and mean stuff like that. Ain't no call for her to make it personal."
One of her old friends, Inky Adamson said he expected nothing less. "Why I remember when she used to drink, she would whup up on those old boys and call 'em pussies when they cried. I knew they'd never catch her..she's the last of her kind, and it's going to take more than a bunch of rednecks to catch her. Besides she has enough friends left that hide her out and give her shelter when the mercury drops. She won't let us buy her any clothes...she says "That's my best weapon Ink, my big old fat ass running through the corn patch telling them to kiss it...Well, fuck son, it just makes my day."
We'll have an up date on the next sighting. Last we heard she was hanging out at the High School trying to teach the kids not to believe what they read in their history books, that the world is not flat and the earth is older than 6,000 years old. Can you believe that? No wonder she's the last of her kind..believing all that crazy shit.
She sounds meaner than a barrel full of rattlers. They'll never get her!
ReplyDeleterun Jackie RUNNN
ReplyDeleteYou are not the last liberal in Texas. The rest of them are quiet like and no one knows what's in their heart. They gather in small groups and devise ways to irritate the GOP while standing by laughing in their hearts.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the Legend of the Wild Texas Liberal Jackiesue has reached even our poor frozen ears here in the Great White North. Some say she's fictional, but Republicans with tiny dicks know better. Go, Jackiesue, go!!
ReplyDeleteFilm on the Late News!!
ReplyDeleteHahahah I love this post!
ReplyDeleteSo when can we expect to see her naked butt running past the hardware store's web cam?
ReplyDeleteI knew this would happen sooner or later. She can hide at my place, even if we don't see eye to eye on health care. Friendship is thicker than politics.
ReplyDeleteNice. I wish there were some crazy, naked old heroine running around denouncing the falsehoods of the Republicans. It would probably help a lot of things.
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteMay Jacque Denney forever run free amongst the blue bonnets!!!
Ahhh. Intense Guy is so poetic and ah intense.
ReplyDeleteI need her to run around our town square a few times. We are over populated with dumb ones.
ReplyDeletemy money's on the yellowdog.
ReplyDeleteTexas is a state, and you are its Lone Star.
ReplyDeleteThe pursuers are SO outmatched.
ReplyDeleteted:I like to think that I am.
ReplyDeletetwain:yup..me and forest.
ishitunot:nah, I'd rather stay here and fuck with them.'
charlene:it just SEEMS like I'm the last one here.
debrah:tiny dicks everywhere just shrunk down.
sage:thanks sweety.
kulkuri:hope they have wide angle lens to get all my ass.
nana:i should start telling you guys that every day at 3:15 I'll be on the corner waving at you ..ha
willym:you know they never learn.
tex:it is in my books..i dont care what your politics are..your my bud.
brightened boy:I could rent my nekkid ass out for you..haha
intense:i do wish that before i croke i get to do just that.
charlene:ain't he?
lucy:I'm game.
billy;always put your money on the yellowdog.
anne:oh that was so sweet...made me all soft and mushy.
jan:there isn't enough dublin dr pepper in the world to catch me.
You go girl. Great post.
ReplyDeleteThis post is GREAT!!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI thought that was just a legend that Republican mothers told their children to scare them into going to church!
ReplyDeleteRun Yellowdog!...RUN!
Go Granny Go!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm fightin' the fight here in Hotlanta.
Marvelous! I'll try and see if I can provide some Dr. Pepper on the run. Run! RUN! :D
ReplyDeletecome to Nevada. You are welcome here!
ReplyDeleteOMFG.....what a ROMP ! In every sense of the word! :D
ReplyDeleteWe'd heard tell of that Lone Liberal in Texas,but there are sooooo many little dicks that yap and howl,snarl and whine there,that it was thought to be just another urban legend. Nice to know she's very much alive and well raising hell... and having a mighty fine time doing it!
THOSE dogs ain't got NOTHIN' on Yellowdog...
May your "cheeks" stay rosey, your wit sharp,your laugh as you round the corner...maniacal - and blue bonnets between your toes.(...and who knows, you might get some recruits! ; ) Thanks for a great read .
I want to know how the hell you can post something at 09:21 AM on 2/08/2014 while I'm sitting here typing this at 06:31 AM on 2/08/2014 and you've already got 26 comments? You are a tricky old broad.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I missed this one, WTF?! Thanks for reposting it!
ReplyDeleteYou could always hide in Canada. Canada loves you! :) xoxox smooch smooch!!
Mr Charleston,most of the comments were from the original post in 2010..I'm tricky but not that tricky..the first time I wrote this was in 2010 and was always one of my favorites so reposted it..
ReplyDeleteGo Jackiesue go!!!!! This is better than an episode of Smokey and the Bandit!
ReplyDeleteThe day is still young, but I'm not likely to see anything funnier than this!
ReplyDeletePictures or I don't believe a word of it!
ReplyDelete