I miss my town. I miss driving down Oak Street and waving to Tim as he sweeps the sidewalks and the street around his mother's house. I want to go to Community Grocery and see Patsy Patsy Patsy at her desk making out the order list for the store and going outside to sneak a cigarette. I want to sit at a four way stop sign and laugh at every one because no one wants to be rude and go first. "No you go, no, you go, I'm going to pick up the kids from school and have plenty of time..so you go."...I want to go to Old Corner Drug and joke with my go to go guy Kirk about how he's not the top dog any more,Dr. Cujo is now the go to guy. I mean really, he graduated first in his class and was valedictorian and would be the perfect doctor, if he'd just speak the hell up. The kid mutters, what can I say. I want to stroll into Pizza House of West and sit at #3 table, with my friend Barbara, with my face to the door, because I'm convinced some gunslinger will come in and ambush me. I want to eat a skunk egg and talk to Barbara, the best waitress in West, and swap recipes with her. I want to get my exercise by walking the 40 steps or so to Gerik's Bakery and have a Sharla for dessert.
I want to drive down Reagan Street and pass the middle school by the track field and park in my regular place on Haven Street and visit the residents at the West Rest Haven. Say hi to Karl and find out if he needs me to buy him any more hot salsa for his eggs. Sneak into Louis's room and give him warm from my oven, buttered heels from my home made whole wheat bread. I want to stop by and give Bonnie a hug and tease her about her Canadian boyfriends Will and Laurent. Check on Lisa, and then go visit with my Granddaughter, then head for home. Passing on the way the post office, might as well stop in and see if they want chocolate chip cookies or cake balls for Christmas. Oh wait, Inky's working so want to stop by and tease him about his hair. "Hey, Inky where did you go after you combed your hair?"..Well, I could blow the rest of the day visiting my favorite places, West Food Mart where they have the cutest youngest checkers in Texas.. Stop by the West News and pick up 2 papers, one for me and one for Barbara. We'll see what's on sale and plan our shopping list and laugh at each other because we can't say port butt without laughing.
Yes, I can still do this. But it's just not the same. On the way down Reagan Street, I'll pass a burnt out house, school and apartment building. The nursing home is a pile of broken doors and windows and the floor littered with insulation, sheet rock and past lives in the shape of pictures, religious items and all their favorite possessions. Tim may still sweep the porch, but his mother who he adores is no longer a bicycle ride up the street, she's down I-35 at another nursing home. Carl and Louis and Lisa and Bonnie are scattered to the winds. My granddaughter has a new job as does her mother. No more working together and my granddaughter can't drop her baby off with me and head to work, and pick her up on when she's off work. We are still here, going about our daily business, but the heart of us is gone. Ours sons are gone, our fathers and brothers and uncles are gone. Real and true hero's are gone. We lost so much. The people of my little town that I've loved these past 30 plus years is missing the laughter of their loved ones. Oh I know...we'll get over it..there will be a day when we will laugh out loud and not feel guilty, because we will get through it. Even if we don't want to.
I have always told people when you move to West, you have to set your watch back 50 years, because it's like 1957 here. Now I just want to set the clock back to Wed morning and figure out a way to keep the clock's hands from turning . Just keep it Wed morning. Then I'll have my West back.
I want to drive down Reagan Street and pass the middle school by the track field and park in my regular place on Haven Street and visit the residents at the West Rest Haven. Say hi to Karl and find out if he needs me to buy him any more hot salsa for his eggs. Sneak into Louis's room and give him warm from my oven, buttered heels from my home made whole wheat bread. I want to stop by and give Bonnie a hug and tease her about her Canadian boyfriends Will and Laurent. Check on Lisa, and then go visit with my Granddaughter, then head for home. Passing on the way the post office, might as well stop in and see if they want chocolate chip cookies or cake balls for Christmas. Oh wait, Inky's working so want to stop by and tease him about his hair. "Hey, Inky where did you go after you combed your hair?"..Well, I could blow the rest of the day visiting my favorite places, West Food Mart where they have the cutest youngest checkers in Texas.. Stop by the West News and pick up 2 papers, one for me and one for Barbara. We'll see what's on sale and plan our shopping list and laugh at each other because we can't say port butt without laughing.
Yes, I can still do this. But it's just not the same. On the way down Reagan Street, I'll pass a burnt out house, school and apartment building. The nursing home is a pile of broken doors and windows and the floor littered with insulation, sheet rock and past lives in the shape of pictures, religious items and all their favorite possessions. Tim may still sweep the porch, but his mother who he adores is no longer a bicycle ride up the street, she's down I-35 at another nursing home. Carl and Louis and Lisa and Bonnie are scattered to the winds. My granddaughter has a new job as does her mother. No more working together and my granddaughter can't drop her baby off with me and head to work, and pick her up on when she's off work. We are still here, going about our daily business, but the heart of us is gone. Ours sons are gone, our fathers and brothers and uncles are gone. Real and true hero's are gone. We lost so much. The people of my little town that I've loved these past 30 plus years is missing the laughter of their loved ones. Oh I know...we'll get over it..there will be a day when we will laugh out loud and not feel guilty, because we will get through it. Even if we don't want to.
I have always told people when you move to West, you have to set your watch back 50 years, because it's like 1957 here. Now I just want to set the clock back to Wed morning and figure out a way to keep the clock's hands from turning . Just keep it Wed morning. Then I'll have my West back.
I hope you get your town back soon. And, if it can't be the same as it used to be, I hope it's even better.
ReplyDeleteWhat Betty said...x google!
DeleteThat was beautiful.
One foot in front of the other. Life will knit slowly back together and a new "normal" will establish itself. But you will never forget your old normal and everything you lost that day. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.
ReplyDeleteMy tears welled up in my tightened throat as I read this to my sweetie George... no newspaper journalist could capture what you have here on your blog, both now and in every single past post. Thank you for bringing West's reality to those of us who can only watch and read of what you are all living through. Just love you.
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry. I'm so sorry y'all have to go through this. I wish I had a DeLorean and then we could Marty McFly the shit out of this.
ReplyDeleteOh Jackie, beautifully written, I'm crying, I can feel your pain and the pain of your lovely little town who we've all come to love over the years of reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteYou'll get back up, you know that, but you'll never forget how it was and it probably won't ever be quite the same again.
Wow! A factory like that should be in the middle of nowhere, but then, I guess West "By Goddess" Texas is in the middle of nowhere. So sad. Unfortunately, with the loss of your major employer, many things will never be the way they were. Good post Granny.
ReplyDeleteA beautifully written and heartfelt tribute post to West and its people, YDG. I wish you could have your town back too, just the way it was.
ReplyDeleteP.S. My Rare One was reading this post in bed last night and I had to explain to her what a skunk egg is. She was doubtful about the name but I assured her they are delicious. Of course, I only know that by hearsay from you, but I trust you!
ReplyDeleteThey say time heals all wounds... I don't know about that... but it does make things a little bit easier.
ReplyDelete*Hugs*
Ya know, around here, everything is "before (hurricane) Ivan" and "after Ivan". I'm afraid that's the way it will be there too.
ReplyDeleteYou can rebuild it better, but it will never be the same. Sorry.
I wish Cayman was the same as it was 15 years ago.
While your town won't be restored to what it was, it will return to something very similar to what it was. Hang in there and keep on keeping on!!
ReplyDeleteHugs.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully said. You will get over this, but I am not sure it will really be the same. Sad.
ReplyDeleteYour words are so powerful and poignant, YG! They sum up your community's tragedy and loss vividly. I am sorry that you all have to find a path through the unthinkable. Your post puts the human in disaster.
ReplyDeleteWe are all residents of West and lost a part of our hearts that day.
ReplyDeleteYou've allowed us to visit and enjoy the experience of living in West for a lot of years now, and urged us to come and enjoy it first hand. We are all graving now but things will get better. Maybe different but in many ways the same as before.
Damn it! The pollen count must be really high right now. <3
Yellerdawg,my dear sweet friend,West by Goddess Texas is America's town.
ReplyDeleteIt belongs to all of us,and I want it back too.
That was a lovely piece of writing. Loss sucks, but I hope there will be gifts for y'all too.
ReplyDeletethank you all...
ReplyDelete"The only thing that stays the same is that everything changes."
ReplyDeleteSometimes for the better and sometimes not.
I just wish the times of transition weren't so rough!
this is a rerun, but will do a new one showing the changes and progress..
ReplyDeletethis is a rerun, but will do a new one showing the changes and progress..
ReplyDeleteYou should write a book, using this style of writing, it grabs the reader.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad, and so true. Life can change in an eyeblink. I remember when I heard about it on the morning news, I first was frantic to find out if you were okay, and then I cried just because I knew your town that you loved would be forever changed. Towns change. Often they never change back again. I often think about West.
ReplyDeleteChange is hard, but eventually we survive it. Hang in there.
ReplyDeletethe Ol'Buzzard
My god, this post still makes me well up. I remember how scared I was that day when I'd heard on the news what had happened, worrying about my Texas Mama.
ReplyDeleteStill wish we could Marty McFly the shit out if it.
Not much to say after such a dreadful thing. Three years later it must still hurt like yesterday. Sending hugs
ReplyDeleteit's better..but it will never be the same.
ReplyDelete