.......35---7.......

We are 4-0!......I am so happy I could shit a brick....no wait...I did that this morning...

NO ONE INFORMED ME

that for the medicine to work...it would have to turn my fecal matter to the consistency of Portland Cement...due to this lack of knowledge...at about 9:30 this morning....I shat a brick.

.......I FEEL LIKE HAMMERED SHIT.......

Tuesday I had chicken for dinner...late Tuesday night, my stomach said...'uh..this shit is bad' and proceeded to spew it out from both ends for about 3 days..I was dizzy, had spots in front of my eyes,feverish,nauseous,cramping so bad I thought:'well, fuck it..just kill me now'..I couldn't walk, talk or do anything..I tossed up stuff that had been in my stomach since 1986....When I finally was well enough to call the Dr. and I described my ails..he laughed and said:Maybe you should go to the emergency room..

I said if I'm so sick I can't drive 5 minutes to your office what makes you think I would make a 40 minute ride to the Hospital?..dipshit..he was laughing at me in the way I described my throwing up and crapping out my anal canal...he thinks I'm so funny that he automatically laughs at every thing I say..which did not make me feel any better...laughter is not the best medicine if it's not you laughing..So with 3 days worth of the biggest pills I have ever seen in my life I am at least well enough to stand up straight and leave the bathroom...Which is why I haven't been around to read any of your blogs..I did some in spurts but missed a bunch..and I hate that...but will catch up this weekend...after I do laundry..which you all know I hate to do anyhow..I would rather someone took out my spleen with a grapefruit spoon..

I had my hopes dashed yesterday...I put an ad in the West Paper for lost white male cat and said where he was last seen, described him, etc..and yesterday I got a phone call from some lady who lives in the apt's behind me...she said she saw him night before last..so I went over there and then found out the cat she saw was a white and yellow cat...fuck...so..still no Asshole...will be 2 weeks Sunday...If he was just out getting laid..he should be dragging his ass back home by now..the not knowing is what is killing me...but man..Annie is so happy...she is the way she used to be...all Royal and affectionate and funny...playful and sleeps with me again..she cuddles right in the crook of my arm and stays there all night long...so that's nice..but miss the little fucker..

Wednesday..the lawn guy was weed eating around my porch and I heard this loud thunk...and thought well, he hit the house with a rock..was deep into a good book and still not feeling so hot,so didn't get up and check on it...later on that night when I opened the door to let Annie out the bottom half of the glass screen door shattered into a gazillion pieces all over the carpet and porch...scared the shit out of me..thought for a second I thought one of the x-in-laws was taking a shot at me..then I realized that the thunk I heard was the rock hitting the door...and you know he could have been able to see it from outside...so I called manager and she gave me the phone number of the guy(why I had to call him I don't know..as I thought that would have been something she would been responsible for ..????)..so called ...and called ...and called...finally about 7:30 I reach him..I explain it to him and he's not exactly bending over back wards to be helpful..Can't understand why the apt. doesn't replace the door...first of all the apt. didn't put the door in..the old tenant did..they don't put up screen doors...so they could care less about my screen door..he wants to know what I want from him...I am trying to keep from asking him where he lives so I can come do this in person so when I do snap he will be within ass kicking distance.I said..I want you to do the right thing..your helper(his son) broke my screen door...I want the glass picked up and the door replaced...I get mutter mutter...yadda yadda..finally he said he will be over at noon today to clean up the glass, but doesn't know when he can replace the door..I am going to see what happens and if he doesn't fix the door or replace it in a week...I'm going to have to go Jackiesue on him....it won't be pretty...I actually am looking forward to it.

The other thing that is really keeping me up at night is the European donor sperm scare...man..how frightening is that????

What it boils down to is if you are an American looking for donor sperm to produce a blond, blue-eyed Scandinavian baby...you may have to get the American version..as there is a ban on sperm from all European countries with exposure to mad cow disease ...Since May, 2005 the Food and Drug Administration has blocked donors from all over Western Europe.While some sperm banks had enough frozen stock(under the circumstances..

I think that's a funny term)to cope with demand, they now face shortages.No body is happy about this.."The consensus in the United Kingdom is that this is a silly ban," said Dr. Allan Pacey, an andrology expert at the University of Sheffield."There's no evidence to show that mad cow disease can be transmitted in human semen."

Dr.Gianpiero Palermo, and associate at Cornell University's Center for Reproductive Medicine, said it shouldn't matter anyhow..."There's absolutely no difference between American and European sperm," he said."If you are looking for a specific type of donor, we can find whatever genetic qualities you want in the U.S."..

'Yeah.....our sperm is as good as your sperm...nana nana boo boo...'Jeez, if we can't get the blond/blue-eyed babies from Denmark..does that mean we will have a rash of brown haired/brown-eyed babies?...Oh wait..we already have them..their called illegal aliens..

DAM NEWS THAT MADE ME LAUGH, PONDER AND WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS

MATTEL APOLOGIZES TO CHINA FOR RECALLS..

What the fuck?...They poison American kids and they kiss China's ass?..They should be in the prone position kissing the millions that have been buying their shit and paying for it with the health of their kids. I could really get behind kicking some of those corporate asses.

This is the article by Alex Veiga, from the Associated Press.

Mattel Inc.tried to save face Friday with Chinese officials, taking the blame for the recent recalls of millions of Chinese-made toys..(Judas Fucking Priest!...Saving face with the Chinese?...Give me a fucking break..that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard..) Analysts said it was striving to mend a strained relationship with the nation that makes most of its toys and fattens its profits"Mattel takes full responsibility for these recalls and apologizes personally to you, the Chinese people, and all of our customers who received the toys," Thomas Debrowski, Mattel's executive vice-president for world-wide operations, told Mr. Li.

The unusual move reflects how invested Mattel has become in China.(well fuck yes,they make their toys with lead, but that's no big deal..it's so much cheaper and the profits for them are so high)

Peter Navarro, a business professor at the University of California,Irvine, and author or The Coming China Wars, suggested Mattel was trying to avoid punitive measures.

"Mattel is worried that the Chinese government is going to make it difficult for them to produce, put their costs up and hurt their stock price," Mr. Navarro said..(If I was a young mother/father today..I would be boycotting Mattel toys and any toy made in China...I don't recall any toys made in the good ole USofA that had lead in them...)

Mattel stock fell from the mid-$23 level after the first recall in early August, but shares have rebounded, increasing 38 cents, or 1.6 percent, to $23.94 on Friday...(com'on parents these are you kids here.)

Mattel has ordered three high-profile recalls this summer involving more than 21 million accessories and toy cars because of concerns about lead paint or tiny magnets that could be swallowed.

Mattel previously said many of the toys were recalled because of design problems..

It said certain vendors in China or their subcontractors violated Mattel's rules by failing to use safe paint or to run tests on paint.

Lead-tainted toys accounted for only a small percentage of all toys recalled. In a prepared statement issued, Mattel said its lead-related recalls were "overly inclusive, including toys that may not have had lead in paint in excess of the U.S. standards.

Mr. Li upbraided Mattel for maintaining weak safely controls and reminded Mr.Debrowski that "a large part of your annual profit..comes from your factories in China."(that is Mrs. Li describing Mr. Li's dick)

"I really hope that Mattel can learn lessons and gain experience from these incidents," Mr. Li said.

He added.....that Mattel should "improve their control measures.".....

Oh, if I was a Mama that had bought a lead based toy from Mattel, right about now I would be returning every toy I had ever bought from them and would refuse to buy any more..plus I would be seeking out Mr. Debrowski and Mr. Li so I could kick their ass...

fuckme I'll never buy Mattel again..

OK..on to stuff that makes me ponder and laugh..

CHARITY EFFORT FALLS FLAT(no pun intended)

The idea was cooked up by a fraternity, which made it suspect from the get-go...in spite of its purported effort to raise funds for breast cancer research. The "Jugs for Life" exhibit, touring the country in a 53-foot tractor-trailer rig, displays 75 pairs of "artfully decorated"fake breasts, some of which are wired to perform stunts.To call the show sophomoric(a press release describes breasts as "man's best friends") is to give it undue credit...regardless of its good intentions.

Did you know among faculty at 32 elite colleges,Democrats out number Republicans by more than 10-1???

"I told her it was a nice snake.'Nothing can happen.Watch.' It got a hold of my tongue."

....Matt Wilkerson, an Oregon man who was drunk when he stuck a rattlesnake's head into his mouth.(Associated Press.)...what can I say to that?....Even in Texas we know better then to stick a rattlesnake's head into your mouth..

I have more stupid stuff...but this should hold you for a while..snort*

.......34-10.......

Great balls in cowtown....

Ahh life is good when it comes to the cowboys..

Old yellowdog..is a happy camper..Although the first quarter like to have given me a heart attack...Plus I got so pissed off and after screaming a variety of swear words at Williams who threw a block instead of wrapping up the running and he made a touchdown for Chicago..I actually resorted to childhood cuss words...I called him a poo poo head...I just ran out of cuss words..and after losing Asshole I just can't bear to use that word to cuss at anyone anymore..so that has limited me also..But my boys are 3-0...and we play Saint Louis next week..Another thing I am happy about is that Bret Farve tied Joe Montana's touchdown record with 420...ole Bret is looking good for an old fart...

Speaking of Asshole..I'm going to the paper today and put an ad in and see if someone might have seen him...Maybe someone took him and he's wore out his welcome and they are willing to give him back..I also want to thank everyone for their sweet comments about his disappearance..I cried when I read each and every one...but seems like I cry a lot since he's been gone..who knew such a little pain in the ass could leave such a big hole in my heart?..thank the Goddess the Cowboys are winning..a losing team and the loss of the Asshole..jeeze..I'd really be in the dumps..As it is...I'm just so happy with my boys and the fact that I am 30-13-5 for the season so far....I been picking me some winners..more ties then ever..the bookies are good at that point spread...Also...not to brag or anything..but the Dallas quarterback Tony Romo just became the third quarterback in the Super Bowl era to pass for more then 3,500 yards in his first 13 starts...nana nana boo boo...stick your head in doo doo...

FUCKME TILL I THROW AN INTERCEPTION..!!

I put away the second dish ....I took the second liter box out to the dumpster and threw it away..I put away all his little play mice and only bought enough cat food today for one..Don't know where he is...don't know what happened to him...but as of Sunday at 10am the littlest asshole is gone..no one has seen him since then...I have looked, asked,put up signs,interrogated neighbors, visitors and strangers on the street...my little buddy is gone...my fucking heart is broke...

MY WEIRD VIEW ON 'STUFF'

"People have often said about the Clinton's, they don't care who they hang out with as long as the people can be useful to them, they will find a way to make it work."..Unidentified "major" Hillary Clinton fundraiser, on the candidate's involvement with crooked money man Norman Hsu.(The New York Times,Wed.)...

This is why I am not getting my hopes up about Hillary Clinton for President..Because...lets face it..we all know there are many many skeletons buried in closets from Arkansas to Washington and I think the Republicans know where at least one of them is buried and will drag it out the week before the election...That's how Lyndon Johnson got to be the Vice President with John Kennedy...He knew all about the women and ole Lyndon wasn't afraid to tell all unless it got him on the ballot..(I'm reading The Darker Side of Camelot)That's why I am for Barak Obama...and unless he has a big titted blond hidden away someplace...he's got a better chance then Hillary..Although I'm still holding out for Al Gore...hmmm, maybe he knows what the Republicans know and is waiting for Hillary to go up in flames and then will step in...jeez....I don't fucking trust anybody..

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FOUND WORKING AT ARMY BASE.

Twelve illegal immigrants working as landscapers at Fort Bliss near El Paso were detained Friday by military police and turned over to immigration authorities, an official said...

Ok, lets get the full picture here..Mexican landscapers near El Paso...which is a hop, skip and a jump from the border..gee ya assholes, what gave you your first clue?...fuckme till I run a roto-tiller.

FORD MEMORIALIZED IN MICHIGAN MAZE.

In a tribute to Gerald Ford, a farm not far from where he grew up in Michigan created a maze in a cornfield in the likeness of the nations 38Th president, who died last December

(I wonder if the maze is of him tripping and falling from Air Force One?)

COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS VISIT IRAQ.

U.S. Troops in Iraq were treated to a performance by the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on Saturday(last),part of a five-stop USO tour for the squad.

Now everyone knows that I love my Cowboys and am very proud of our Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders...but Judas fucking priest...no wonder they fucking hate us...Lets see how many ways we can insult the people of the country we have invaded and bombed the shit out of....Half naked women jumping around and shaking their tits....I know our boys deserve some entertainment..but couldn't we get someone to go entertain them that wore some clothes and weren't shaking their tits? I think that is pretty insensitive and insulting...but then what the fuck do I know?(other than not being able to lip sync her own songs, looking a little loopy, and making a bad apparel choice...I thought Ms Spears body looked pretty good for having a 1 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. So the bra and panties didn't fit or look good, she still looked pretty damn good....but I also think she should cover up her beaver as I have seen all of it I want to..)

COWBOYS 37-------MIAMI 20

TOUCHDOWN........COWBOYS....
BROUGHT TO YOU BY...BUDDHA_BOY..

rah rah ree....

kick 'em in the knee...

rah rah rass....

kick 'em in the .......

other knee.

boomalocka...boomalocka

sis...boom...bah...

buckle up winsockee...buckle up...

Ahhh..live is good...

.......LIFE WITH A CRAZY.......

Cat makes getting up in the morning very interesting....and just a little scary..

The little "Asshole" has been so disruptive during the am hours around 5-5:30 that I have had to lock him out of the bedroom so I can sleep.

Which means when I get up, I never know what I'm going to find..books all over the floor,paper scattered from room to room, the rug in the kitchen is draped across the back of the couch(still don't know how he managed that)..all the plants are dug up and dirt every where..toilet paper is shredded and scattered all over the house..and the butter I keep out on the counter has lick marks, and there are little patty paw prints all over the counter..He goes into the entertainment center and scatters my movies and Cd's of music every where..the 45's from the record pile are all over the carpet..This morning I found all my pictures and the frames I had put out to use were all over the dining room floor and he had ripped to shreds one of my favorite Indian baskets..I have never seen an animal live up to his name like this one. He has figured out how to get the doors open for the cupboards under the sink, which means I have garbage scattered over the area that would have normally been covered by the rug but it's in the living room..Most of this goes undetected as he is a silent house wrecker..except that now he has discovered the door stop...there is one in the bedroom, the living room and one for the bathroom door that opens into the hall way

right by my door...so I get woke up to 'twaaaaaaang'....3 second pause..

'twaaaaang'...3 second pause..

'twaaaaaaaaang...

twaaaaaang...

twaaaaang.'

1 second pause..

'twangtwangtwangtwangtwang'

..you get the picture..I started out with the spray bottle with just water..then I went to

1/2 water, 1/2 vinegar...now it's all vinegar and he could give a flying fuck..I can squirt him about 8 times really fast right in the face and he just strolls off..only time he acts like he's afraid of it, is when he thinks it's some sort of game..I try and figure out what I ever did in my past 63 1/2 years to deserve this little fucker in my golden years...but there are too many things to count...but still...give me a break..I went in to the kitchen the other morning to make my daily oatmeal and stepped on the carpet and there was a yowl and I nearly fell on my ass...the Asshole was under the rug sound asleep...and I didn't see him..him being UNDER THE FUCKING RUG...I can't take a crap without him attacking me from behind my Texas flag shower curtain..and he likes to sleep on the back of the toilet so that when I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night(I never turn the light on)..I don't know that he is on the back of the toilet until he attaches all 4 claws to the back of my head and goes 'meoooooow'..all I can say is it's a good thing I am where I am ..as he scares the shit out of me..Little fucker..and I swear after he does that he is laughing his ass off..

Other then that?....life is normal..

WHERE THE HEL IS HOG HEAVEN?

I've always been convinced that the Yellowdog was a month short of a calendar year, but after last night I'm sure of it..I haven't heard that much yelling, screaming, cussing, begging, pleading and weeping since ..well, since Loki stole my necklace and I had to sleep with those horny little dwarfs to get it back...Who would have thought a football game would bring out such passion in the Yellowdog?...I do believe that I haven't seen such enthusiasm since the Aztec's version of this game..of course if you lost..you lost your head and there were no gents in black and white stripped uniforms and yellow flags to keep you in line..

On to the question and answer time..

Nit wit is concerned about why blogging about politics makes him so depressed?...That's easy..the politics of this country can be bought and sold to the highest bidder..that would depress me too.Oh, by the way..have a great vacation.

Jan wants to know where she left her diaphram...look deep Jan...very deep...a little deeper....ah, there it is...

The Rube wants to know how many boy friends Payton Manning has...I belong to the don't ask ...don't tell school of thought when it comes to sports hero's and their 'friends'...don't want to be outing anyone here.

Lavender wants to know how to start a successful porn site and the best I can come up with is:practice...and run it by hand...

Blue Momma needs another baby...dear friend of the Yellowdog..no one NEEDS another baby..but if it is your desire to have another baby..I suggest adopting...too many children need loving families...give one of them a good home..

BBC, the Goddess thinks men need women a lot more then women need men..some of them just don't know it yet, but they will.

Josh wants to know what mankind's biggest mistake is...well, for a start, they fucked up when they refer to themselves as mankind..especially how screwed up your world is..and it was all started and brought about by stupid white men..supreme rulers on your planet?..I think not..this planet has been going to Hel in a hand basket every since 'mankind' stopped worshiping the Goddess and started worshipping God..there is still plenty of time for you to change your ways..The Goddess is very forgiving.

Tex wants to know why some people want to imprison or other wise pick on people that are slightly different from them, even if they in no way effect their lives...That's easy enough Tex..they are afraid and insecure..and by putting people that are different from themselves, it makes them feel superior...which is a bunch of crap as we all know..but that won't change as long as you continue to allow a book written thousands of years ago guide you in your daily life..That book has been transcribed from at least 15 different languages..and each translation something gets lost...Jesus thinks you're all fools...but fun to watch...( I figure if those money grubbing preachers can quote Jesus, so can I.)

Now that I have offended all the Christian readers of the Yellowdog..I will go gather up the soldiers who have died in battle and take them to Valhalla..Blessings on you my children..

.......HOG HEAVEN.......

Yes, folks...old yellowdoggranny is one happy old lady...not only did the cowboys win....45-35(sorry Buddha_Girl)...but the fucking Philadelphia Eagles lost...Yes, there is a Goddess and she did good..So for for this week I am 9-3-1..Still 2 games tonight so depends on how they go for my final bets..I am going to have my bookies summer home at the end of the season if this keeps up.

The only thing bad about our win was how badly our defense sucked..hell, I'm a crippled old lady and can tackle better then them guys did last night..and special teams?...wasn't so special...we have injuries, but JJ has the bucks so he needs to get us some replacement players..But I can't tell you how I love to look at my TV and see Coach Wade Phillips on the side line...you can see every play in his face..he grimaces, grins, frowns, rolls his eyes,scrunches up his face...it's all there..every play..I love it...and when they score..oh my Goddess,the grin goes from ear to ear and it is a joy to behold...just a contrast from that smirking/snarling face of that old Yankee coach Bill Parcells,before...a pox on him..hooray for my Boys..and fuck you Philly fans..and if that isn't enough good news..Pee Wees back...Paul Reuben's is going to be on Pushing Daisies..He will play the potentially recurring role of

Alfredo Aldarisio, a traveling homeopathic-antidepressant sales rep...I hadn't even planned on watching that show..but if it has peewee in it..I'm a watching it..It's on ABC..so be on the look out..peewees back..I are in HOG HEAVEN..

sigh*....life is good..

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

As my good friend Cadmus once said:"I shall tell you a great secret, my friend.Do not wait for the last judgement.It takes place every day."

And from the great woman troubadour Iselda:"Lady Carenza,I'd like to have a husband,

but making babies I think is a huge penitence:

your breasts hang way down

and it's too anguishing to be a wife."

Ahh, wisdom of the ages....

If you have any questions for the Goddess, you will have until Sunday night at midnight to ask me anything you would like..I will answer them and then go collect slain warriors and take them to Valhalla...Blessings on you my children...Peace..

.......GOT PIVO.......

Well, it was a Westfest weekend and all went well...we had 22,714 people here from 7 PM Friday to 1 Am Monday. For some reason I keep thinking the numbers are higher, but that the 30,000 numbers are from about 15 years ago..we used to get lots lots more people..But then we were the only game around..now there are all sorts of festivals at this time of the year.But even though we had fewer people then we had last year..the ones that came stayed longer..The weather was great..even got a little rain to cool it off..There were 2,513 people for the Friday's Preview Party, and 12,51 on Saturday and 7,620 on Sunday.The Friday night numbers are really low, but it rained that night and I personally had never heard of the band that played and think no one really gave a shit about them..The old farts running Westfest need to start catering to the younger crown..there is enough polka music to keep the older crowd happy and coming back..but they need to get some better music/groups/bands to draw in the younger crowd...I am going to go to the Westfest meeting this year if it hairlips the governor..Plus Friday night is High School football and in Texas Friday night Football rules..although we lost our opener ...hope we do better this weekend..Ok..now to the good part..what they ate and how much....brace yourself..it's pretty scary...now remember how many people we had over the 21/2 day weekend...this is what they ate and drank.

They consumed the following:

2,130 hamburgers, 1,380 corny dogs,1,700 pounds of french fries,8,172 kolaches,74 whole strudels and buchtas,790 BBQ sandwiches,670 turkey legs,720 potato pancakes,520 baked potatoes,1,550 spudzillas(potato twisters),960 sausage sticks and sausage and kraut plates, 1,715 roasted ears of corn,625 ears of

corn on a stick,1,250 snow-cones,85 cases of bottled water,and 3,000 servings of cotton candy,530 bags of Bavarian nuts, 390 pounds of corn for kettle popcorn,55 pounds of uncooked pork rinds, 1,300 skunk eggs,3 cases of fried green tomatoes,20 gallons of fried pickles, one case of fried squash,1,050 ice cream floats and ice cream servings,and 400 pounds of sausage products, 108 gallons of funnel cake mix, 300 rosettes, 250 fruit pies,125 pretzels,475 steak on a sticks, 500 chicken on a sticks,450 pork on a sticks,650 super nachos and 25 gallons of pickles.For the first time ever they didn't tell us how much beer was drank...So it must have been a lot and they were too embarrassed to let everyone know what booze hounds we are...Jeez, their Czech's ...that's what Czech's do..drink pivo, do the chicken dance to polka music and drink more pivo.
So..another year and another Westfest...I have been here in one fashion or another (except for when I was in Calif)..since the second one..Everyone has a standing invitation to come to the next one on next Labor Day..Buddha_Girl, Lorna and 'Obert are coming next year for sure.

Plus I have 2 Westfest magnets, 4 West papers ..2 from the week before Westfest and 2 for the week after..Pretty cool..anyone wants them...let me know..will send them out..

.......CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER.......

There is a book coming out that supposedly has Bush admitting that he 'can tear up'...that he cries a lot and mostly when he talks to the families of fallen soldiers..

well...boo fucking hoo..cry me a river George..you've made 2 countries cry over your fucking blunders driven by greed and ego...How many dead do you have notched on your gun George Porgy made them cry?....

fuckme till I cry...

WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL THERE?

2ND British officer blames Rumsfeld......

General says warning about deficiency of postwar plan ignored.

London...A second retired British general slammed the United States over its Iraq policy, saying in a newspaper interview published Sunday that it had been "fatally flawed."

Maj. Gen. Tim Cross,the most senior British officer involved in the postwar planning, said he had raised serious concerns about the possibility of Iraq falling into chaos but said former Defense Secretary Donald (the dickhead) Rumsfeld dismissed the warnings.

"Right from the very beginning we were all very concerned about the lack of detail that had gone into the postwar plan, and there is no doubt that Rumsfeld was at the heart of that process,"

Gen. Cross said in the Sunday Mirror.

The comments came a day after the release of critical comments made by the general who led the British army during the Iraq invasion.

Retired Gen. Mike Jackson also singled out Mr. Rumsfeld for criticism, saying his approach to the invasion was "intellectually bankrupt," according to quotes excerpted from his autobiography and published Saturday by The Daily Telegraph.

The comments from the two retired British generals come in the wake of U.S.criticism of British military performance in Basra and Washington's fears that Prime Minister Gordon Brown is poised to approve a British troop withdrawal.(yeah, now if only Bush would follow the leader)

(this to me is the kicker for this article...)

U.S. and Iraqi authorities have expressed concern that a broader British draw down could jeopardize the region's rich oil resources and the supply line from Kuwait to Baghdad and beyond.(only worried about the fucking oil).

Some analysts also fear that British withdrawal could exacerbate a violent power struggle between rival Shiite groups in the sect's southern heartland...(uh?....what the fuck have they been doing for the past 5 years???)

and how about this for a oxymoron? the Iraqi Prime Minister ordered a "professional and neutral" investigation Sunday into violence that killed more than 50 people at a religious festival last week.He also defended his government, saying critics underestimate Iraq's

problems and don't appreciate his achievements.

"such as stopping the civilian sectarian war."

Oh my fucking ass!...if that was true why would this be a problem????....this is a quote from the Iraq's national security adviser....brace your self...it's really ugly:
"But this is my favorite television show."---Mowaffak al-Rubale, Iraq's national security adviser, objecting to a request by U.S. Congressmen to quit watching cartoons during their meeting, according to Rep.James Moran,who was there..(Washington Post

Is that not enough to chap your ass?...Judas fucking priest...someone...GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!...We're over there fighting their fucking war and the assholes watching cartoons...I wish him a speedy Gonzales non-cartoon like death...

fuckme till it's 'that's all folks.

DAM NEWS AND STUFF

First of all..my idea of hell....'if I was locked in a room with Paul Dean and Rachel Raye..'Between the two of them, I don't know which has the most annoying voice..I just know that I can't stand to listen to them talk..it hurts my ears..I do believe that Paula Deans voice is the most obnoxious...and her laugh makes me want to search her out and bitch slap her into a coma..and I found this quote by Tallulah Bankhead that I rather enjoyed:"My Daddy warned me about men and whiskey.He never said a word about women and cocaine."

In my DAM News there was an article about the new bill boards that are going up in and around the Dallas area, put up by the Dallas Stars(Hockey team)..one of them says:"The only thing our refs shave is the ice." There are five of them up now and most of them use clever phrases to focus on the aggressive nature of the sport. One bill board says "One game a week? Is the N in the NFL for Nancy?"...Another says:"Maybe baseball should stop using the word sacrifice."

I think it is pretty funny...with the basketball refs betting on games and all..they said the funniest ones ended up on the cutting room floor.Stars president Jim Lites said they avoided taking a swipe at Michael Vick. I would have nailed his ass to the billboard..

Then there was the article about the kid who is a senior at Hilliard Davidson High School who got 3 days of in-school suspension and banned from extracurricular activities for a semester for going to a football game and convincing the other team fans to hold up assorted and different cards..Telling them the message would spell out Go Darby for the Hilliard Darby High School...What they actually spelled out was:

WE SUCK

I thought that was pretty funny too...people don't have a sense of humor anymore..

I wish I had the money to take a trip to Dallas and the cash($26-99) to see the Smothers Brothers, one of my all time favorite groups..I have had a crush on Tommy Smothers since the summer they had their TV show...The funniest show on TV at the time, but they fell afoul of the censors and got shit canned..They did a great review of the show and said they did one bit where one asked the other why anyone would boldly, baldy lie, and the answer was:'national policy'...Some day before I croak..I wanna see them in concert..I have 2-3 of their album.

The weirdest thing I read in my DAM News is the story about a Catholic Church is offering a confessional booth fashioned from recycled doors for those who want to make a "green confession.'

"It is not, I hope, blasphemous to do this," Anthony Sutch, a priest in Suffolk, told the Times of London."I do not think it is.It is just an attempt to make people conscious of the way they live."Graham Elliot said the confessional booth would give people the chance to reflect on their behavior...Hmm, if George W went to confession there..well, he'd be there a long...long...long...time..bastid.

Well, Westfest is in full swing...Had to go out today to get some batteries for my wall clock and remote..took me 30 minutes to make my way to the $ store which is less then a mile from my place...traffic is already starting to back up on the road to the Fest...Oh well, it makes money for the town..Also I have 2 refrigerator magnets for Westfest, West Texas...first 2 people that ask for them and want them I will mail them to you..

Back to my TV and reading...one more day and they will all be going home...yeah!