Famous Last Words Published on 9/28/2006
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. Francisco ("Pancho") Villa
I'll be in Hell before you start breakfast! "Black Jack" Ketchum, notorious train robber
Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan
Get these fucking nuns away from me. Norman Douglas
Don't worry...it's not loaded... Terry Kath, rock musician in the band Chicago Transit Authority as he put the gun he was cleaning to his head and pulled the trigger.
Is someone hurt? Robert F. Kennedy, to his wife directly after he was shot and seconds before he fell into a coma.
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do! Groucho Marx
Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough! Karl Marx, asked by his housekeeper what his last words were
I have a terrific headache. Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who died of a massive cerebral hemorrhage
I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring. Richard Feynman
Drink to me! Pablo Picasso
I have not told half of what I saw. Marco Polo, Venetian traveller and writer
Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying. Jean Cocteau
Dammit... Don't you dare ask God to help me. Joan Crawford. This comment was directed towards her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
Lord help my poor soul Edgar Allan Poe
Thank God. I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room. Del Close, improvisor, teacher and comedian, died 1999
I have tried so hard to do right. Grover Cleveland, US President, died 1908
I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away. Peace, Love, Empathy. Kurt Cobain. Kurt Cobain (in his suicide note), Lead singer for American grunge band Nirvana, referencing a song by Neil Young.
In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts and in living color, you are going to see another first -- attempted suicide. 30-year-old anchorwoman Christine Chubbuck, who, on July 15, 1974, during technical difficulties during a broadcast, said these words on-air before producing a revolver and shooting herself in the head. She was pronounced dead in hospital fourteen hours later.
It's very beautiful over there. Thomas Edison
Now why did I do that? General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
Don't worry, relax! Rajiv Gandhi, Indian Prime Minister, to his security staff minutes before being killed by a suicide bomber attack.
No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die. Crawford Goldsby, aka Cherokee Bill, when asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged.
I really need a therapist' Christopher Grace, an actor who killed himself during a matinee performance of Greece
I know you've come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man. Che Guevara
I'm tired of fighting. Harry Houdini
I see black light. Victor Hugo
LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. Aldous Huxley To his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
Let me go to the Father's house Pope John Paul II
I'm bored with it all. Winston Churchill, before slipping into a coma and dying nine days later.
I know not what tomorrow will bring. Fernando Pessoa, Portuguese poet
Jesus, I love you. Jesus, I love you. Mother Teresa
Don't disturb my circles! Archimedes
I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return. Frida Kahlo
Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool - good luck. (suicide note) George Sanders, Actor
They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance. General John Sedgwick, Union Commander in the U.S. Civil War, who was hit by sniper fire a few minutes after saying it
Dying is easy, comedy is hard. George Bernard Shaw
I'm losing. Frank Sinatra
Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius. Will you remember to pay the debt? Socrates
My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go. Oscar Wilde
Submit to: Del.icio.us Netscape
I want mine to be..."Everything is going......orange."
Sunday, November 30, 2008
THINGS I LIKE WITH THE LETTER G
Thanks to my buddy over at intense guy http://intenseguy.blogspot.com/
I get to name 10 things I like, that start with the letter G. He picked G for me for Great Granny...cool.
so here goes.
1.Granddaughters....I have 4 of them..Four of the most beautiful, smart, loving and crazy girls as you would ever want to know. I get up every morning thankful that I have them, even when they are pissed at me for whatever sin I have committed at the moment. (and there are plenty)
2.Green..I love the color green...emerald green, Nile green, granny smith apple green, the green green grass of home green,(in Texas that is a color sometimes in short supply)The green eyes of my Daddy and now I'm trying to go green. Green is good.
3.guitar:I am crazy about guitar music. I think my 2 favorite guitar players are (well, hell...to me if you strum it it's a guitar, and than includes base) Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings. Laugh I don't care..but Willie can play damn near anything on Trigger and you know it's Willie..same with Waylon, the intro of all is songs is so distinctive, you know who it is right away.
I always wanted to play the guitar...maybe I'll learn yet.
4.Ginger Ale..really I love that stuff...Of course now I have to drink it diet free, but it's still good..I remember when I was a little girl in Hawaii and we were at some friends of my folks celebrating New Years, and the lady gave me a champagne glass full of Ginger Ale so that it resembled the Champagne the growdups were drinking. I remember the smell of the Ginger Ale and the bubbles breaking up around my nose and sipping it out of that glass. It was just the coolest thing in the world..One of my favorite childhood memories.
5.Gnu...I like the word...more than the animal it's self..I like to pronounce the G as in Ganu...Also like to pronounce the K in Knife too..as the Kanife..hand me the Kanife so I can go cut up the Ganu..OK, so I'm easily amused..
6.Garlic. What can I say?...Is there nothing more wonderful than the smell of garlic simmering in a iron skillet with a little olive oil?...I still think if they could bottle the smell of garlic and blend it with some rosemary it would make a great perfume
7.Gay..as in Gay people...What's not to like? Still fighting for their inalienable rights after 200+ years..they deserve better treatment.
8.Gallop...I love to watch a horse gallop...little ponies out in the fields..Wild mustangs galloping across the desert...When I was a kid I wanted to be a horse..I would paw the ground with my foot, toss my long blond hair, snort and paw the air with my hands and gallop off into the sunset..My Daddy informed me that I was a 'Crazy Horse'...so he became my favorite Indian. I would pretend to be Crazy Horse riding on his horse..All of this changed when I discovered boys.
9.Galaxy..I love to look up at the stars and imagine other planets and if there is life on them. How the stars got there, how we got here. When I drank I always saw a lot more of the stars than now ...I spent a lot of time flat on my back looking up at the stars...wondering 'how the fuck did I get here?'....'Is the moon moving or is it me?'
10. Last but not least...Goddess...The great one. The one in charge. The Goddess that's so modest that she allows some kid named Jesus to take all the credit. Doesn't matter who you pray to, they all get to her, sooner or later..I think she has email so she can have them forwarded. In case you wonder ...if you ever pray to have your team win she just hits ctrl/alt/delete. She's much to busy to help your team win, or help you win an Oscar, or a Grammy. She's working on curing cancer, finding a cure for aids, and working on world peace. So don't expect any help from her during the Super Bowl. I know this because if you notice the Cowboys haven't been in the Super Bowl in a long time, and Goddess knows I was praying for them . She won't help you make good grades, have enough money to buy a new car, or pick the numbers for you for the lottery. Pray for others ...you have a much better shot of her answering them.
Well, there are my 10 favorite things that start with a G..
I get to name 10 things I like, that start with the letter G. He picked G for me for Great Granny...cool.
so here goes.
1.Granddaughters....I have 4 of them..Four of the most beautiful, smart, loving and crazy girls as you would ever want to know. I get up every morning thankful that I have them, even when they are pissed at me for whatever sin I have committed at the moment. (and there are plenty)
2.Green..I love the color green...emerald green, Nile green, granny smith apple green, the green green grass of home green,(in Texas that is a color sometimes in short supply)The green eyes of my Daddy and now I'm trying to go green. Green is good.
3.guitar:I am crazy about guitar music. I think my 2 favorite guitar players are (well, hell...to me if you strum it it's a guitar, and than includes base) Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings. Laugh I don't care..but Willie can play damn near anything on Trigger and you know it's Willie..same with Waylon, the intro of all is songs is so distinctive, you know who it is right away.
I always wanted to play the guitar...maybe I'll learn yet.
4.Ginger Ale..really I love that stuff...Of course now I have to drink it diet free, but it's still good..I remember when I was a little girl in Hawaii and we were at some friends of my folks celebrating New Years, and the lady gave me a champagne glass full of Ginger Ale so that it resembled the Champagne the growdups were drinking. I remember the smell of the Ginger Ale and the bubbles breaking up around my nose and sipping it out of that glass. It was just the coolest thing in the world..One of my favorite childhood memories.
5.Gnu...I like the word...more than the animal it's self..I like to pronounce the G as in Ganu...Also like to pronounce the K in Knife too..as the Kanife..hand me the Kanife so I can go cut up the Ganu..OK, so I'm easily amused..
6.Garlic. What can I say?...Is there nothing more wonderful than the smell of garlic simmering in a iron skillet with a little olive oil?...I still think if they could bottle the smell of garlic and blend it with some rosemary it would make a great perfume
7.Gay..as in Gay people...What's not to like? Still fighting for their inalienable rights after 200+ years..they deserve better treatment.
8.Gallop...I love to watch a horse gallop...little ponies out in the fields..Wild mustangs galloping across the desert...When I was a kid I wanted to be a horse..I would paw the ground with my foot, toss my long blond hair, snort and paw the air with my hands and gallop off into the sunset..My Daddy informed me that I was a 'Crazy Horse'...so he became my favorite Indian. I would pretend to be Crazy Horse riding on his horse..All of this changed when I discovered boys.
9.Galaxy..I love to look up at the stars and imagine other planets and if there is life on them. How the stars got there, how we got here. When I drank I always saw a lot more of the stars than now ...I spent a lot of time flat on my back looking up at the stars...wondering 'how the fuck did I get here?'....'Is the moon moving or is it me?'
10. Last but not least...Goddess...The great one. The one in charge. The Goddess that's so modest that she allows some kid named Jesus to take all the credit. Doesn't matter who you pray to, they all get to her, sooner or later..I think she has email so she can have them forwarded. In case you wonder ...if you ever pray to have your team win she just hits ctrl/alt/delete. She's much to busy to help your team win, or help you win an Oscar, or a Grammy. She's working on curing cancer, finding a cure for aids, and working on world peace. So don't expect any help from her during the Super Bowl. I know this because if you notice the Cowboys haven't been in the Super Bowl in a long time, and Goddess knows I was praying for them . She won't help you make good grades, have enough money to buy a new car, or pick the numbers for you for the lottery. Pray for others ...you have a much better shot of her answering them.
Well, there are my 10 favorite things that start with a G..
Saturday, November 29, 2008
PICTURES..
This is Cheryl P. and her grand-kid the dog..which I made friends with by carrying doggie treats in the truck. She's a shitzu. I'm sure I'm spelling that wrong.
Just to show we have a little class at Strickly Country we even had a customer arrive in a limo..of course the guy who drives the limo is also the guy who can find the whores for you...
Just to show we have a little class at Strickly Country we even had a customer arrive in a limo..of course the guy who drives the limo is also the guy who can find the whores for you...
Patsy, Patsy, Patsy's new shoes..which she said were 'killing her fucking feet.'..
The Christmas tree at Strickly Country..It's very ....festive in there. Merle has lights every where, and wants to put up more.
The domino players. The guy on the right ate 3 pieces of my Pecan Pie.
The grub...The 3 pots in the back were full of turkey, ham, butter beans and ham hock, dressing, gravy and rolls.The side on the left was all veggies and desserts...The bartender made little bundles of green beans wrapped in bacon and man, they were most excellent.
Andy(Patsy's boyfriend) and Tommy P. who is one of my very favorite people. When I walked in everyone was all 'hi, good to see you, give me a hug, etc. Tommy looked at me and said 'fuck you'....I laughed and said, 'somethings never change, which is why I like you'..He's always the same..always...an asshole..but a funny asshole..I've known him and his wife Cheryl (along with all of them) for over 30 years...and of all of the people I know..he's exactly the same as he was 30 years ago..nothing bothers him, he's mellow, doesn't give a shit and likes me.
The Christmas tree at Strickly Country..It's very ....festive in there. Merle has lights every where, and wants to put up more.
The domino players. The guy on the right ate 3 pieces of my Pecan Pie.
The grub...The 3 pots in the back were full of turkey, ham, butter beans and ham hock, dressing, gravy and rolls.The side on the left was all veggies and desserts...The bartender made little bundles of green beans wrapped in bacon and man, they were most excellent.
Andy(Patsy's boyfriend) and Tommy P. who is one of my very favorite people. When I walked in everyone was all 'hi, good to see you, give me a hug, etc. Tommy looked at me and said 'fuck you'....I laughed and said, 'somethings never change, which is why I like you'..He's always the same..always...an asshole..but a funny asshole..I've known him and his wife Cheryl (along with all of them) for over 30 years...and of all of the people I know..he's exactly the same as he was 30 years ago..nothing bothers him, he's mellow, doesn't give a shit and likes me.
T.J. and Merle. Merle's the one I went to House of Satan with. He bought .T.J. a new computer and himself a new TV, and still had time to go outside and have a smoke.
Patsy and Andy, and I can't remember who the woman is...
The stocking on my door..If you click on it you'll see that two of the very's have been x'd out and I wrote 'see Santa'..after good.
My Santa collection.
I had about 30 more but gave them to Mojo.
the tree...
the tree..
Annie on her perch and is laying on my heating pad.
Annie under the tree. She likes to sleep under the tree and pull off all the tinsel.
What greets everyone that comes to the apt.
OK...I have a thing for clouds..and Texas clouds are the best.
That's my view from my front porch...
The stocking on my door..If you click on it you'll see that two of the very's have been x'd out and I wrote 'see Santa'..after good.
My Santa collection.
I had about 30 more but gave them to Mojo.
the tree...
the tree..
Annie on her perch and is laying on my heating pad.
Annie under the tree. She likes to sleep under the tree and pull off all the tinsel.
What greets everyone that comes to the apt.
OK...I have a thing for clouds..and Texas clouds are the best.
That's my view from my front porch...
Cross-eyed little bitch.
Jenny called me last night and asked me to the family thanksgiving..which was late as everyone was out of town. She's been mad at me since May, so it was nice to hear from her. She said she was sorry 'she over reacted'.....ya'think?...Everyone in our family over reacts. I was so tired from the trip to hell, and Friday is the day we get our truck and I put out a u-boat full of stock so was just too tired to go...So she asked me to come over today and see the tree she and Jason put up...So I brought a zombie pizza from Pizza House and went for a visit...it was really nice and her puppy LULU has doubled in size...so sweet..I brought her a bag of snasauges, and she didn't leave my side the entire time I was there. We had a great visit. and she made a point to show me all the things that I have given her for her apartment. When I first got there Jason made a big deal out of hugging me and I laughed and said 'you're going to have to stick up for your own-self from now on...your on your own.'....(the reason why she was mad at me is because I told her to 'lighten up on the boy'..She nags him pretty good.
Jenny called me last night and asked me to the family thanksgiving..which was late as everyone was out of town. She's been mad at me since May, so it was nice to hear from her. She said she was sorry 'she over reacted'.....ya'think?...Everyone in our family over reacts. I was so tired from the trip to hell, and Friday is the day we get our truck and I put out a u-boat full of stock so was just too tired to go...So she asked me to come over today and see the tree she and Jason put up...So I brought a zombie pizza from Pizza House and went for a visit...it was really nice and her puppy LULU has doubled in size...so sweet..I brought her a bag of snasauges, and she didn't leave my side the entire time I was there. We had a great visit. and she made a point to show me all the things that I have given her for her apartment. When I first got there Jason made a big deal out of hugging me and I laughed and said 'you're going to have to stick up for your own-self from now on...your on your own.'....(the reason why she was mad at me is because I told her to 'lighten up on the boy'..She nags him pretty good.
Oh, and I got a hair cut Friday..at the same place I got it cut last time but by a different girl, and the first hair cut was fucking perfect. this one............not so much..I'm so pissed I'm going back and tell her to fix it or prepare to get her ass kicked.
She's one of those that listens to what you tell her and then she does what 'she' thinks will work...that might work for some people but not me..it was hard to tell at first as she had it back combed and fluffed..which I knew I'd just go home and comb it out and de fluff it..the styling part was bad enough..but the hair cut is crappy...She had it all sprayed down and wasn't till I came home washed it and re styled it that I could see little tuffs of hair sticking up on the sides...fuck...yes, asses will be kicked.
Well, I'm off to bed..Need a good day of hiding out tomorrow, a do not a fucking thing day..and I'm ready for it..
Friday, November 28, 2008
FUCKME I'LL NEVER SHOP AGAIN
Me and ole Merle went to the house of Satan for black Friday sales..I knew we were fucked when we drove up at 4:45 and there were no motherfucking parking places...none..we parked in Tokio and walked...we get inside and there are no motherfucking baskets..and the motherfucking sale hasn't even started yet..we wandered around looking for what we were there for..nothing like last year...last year I was in and out(even with the fat mother with the 8 screaming kids)in 15 minutes. Five A.M. came and it was like every movie you have ever seen when they open the doors and let the crowd in...they were fucking off....At 5:08 I lost Merle, I found him at 6 A.M. outside smoking a cigarette. I almost joined him. If there was a bar open I would have had a drink and talking him into sex. .....
Nah....
Merle got a 32" TV for $388 and a computer like I got last year for $398. I couldn't find anything at first..wanted a microwave for $25 but couldn't find it so got a DVD/VCR for $69, and got the sewing machine for $59. I found a apron pattern and was going to get some material but I started to have a panic attack and thought I had better get the fuck out of there, Merle or no Merle before I went Jackiesue on someone and beat them to death with my sewing machine. I grabbed a dozen cans of cat food for 'Maybe I'll eat it and maybe I won't Queen Annie' and a flat of eggs. Oh and a DVD for $2 of the March of the Penguins. They had more but spots were starting to dance in front of my eyes, my road kill sweat shirt was working, some asshole kept saying 'can I Have that TV' thinking he was being funny...After the 3rd time I said 'only if I get to rip your balls off afterwards'...His wife thought that was really funny. He didn't..He muttered something under his breath and I said "look asshole, I'm crazy and off my meds so don't fuck with me."..
I finally got all my shit through the line and went out side and that's where I found Merle, calm as could be..He said"that wasn't so bad.".....Where the fuck was he?...Didn't he see the 4,837 motherfucking people in that store?..All of them pushing or towing a basket full of motherfucking Hannah Montana shit?....It's 7:15 and I have to eat, read my paper, and get ready for work...I have had 2 hours sleep and I still want to kill somebody..I have a feeling my chipper 'good morning' is going to be replaced with 'what the fuck do YOU want'....First person that tries to return a item today is going to leave the store with the said item hanging out of their ass. oh...oh....oh...and to top it off...Just as I walk out the door to go get Merle.......it fucking starts to pour down rain, and rained all the way to Walmart. That should have been my first warning. Damn I want to go back to bed. fuckity fuck fuck fuck
Thursday, November 27, 2008
HOT DAMN...WE WON...
34-9...Not too shabby...we beat the point spread too, which is good for me, as I gave up 12 1/2 points..So far this season I am 111-60-5. I had fun...I made the pies and had some sweet potatoes that I figured I better do something with so made a sweet potato casserole, which I have never made before..It's made with sweet potatoes, brown sugar/butter and walnut topping..Fucking rocked..but jeez, would give you a sugar hit ...was so rich..My pecan pie disappeared along with the chocolate cream pie. Dennis P. took the pumpkin pie home with him and half of the sweet potato casserole..
I wanted to play pool and they were playing partners for beer, so I yelled across the bar to Dennis."Hey Dennis, you wanna play with me?"..We did 20 minutes of bad jokes about him playing with me, until Cheryl said 'knock that shit off.'..so we had to behave. But we giggled all the way through a ass kicking on the pool table..When we lost I told Dennis, "Oh, I forgot to mention we were playing for a beer."...He looked at me and said:"I'm not playing with you any more..you suck."...
I said.."I can remember when that would have been a compliment."...Cheryl made us sit apart, we were giggling like 9 year olds...Dennis kids were just shaking their heads at us..Cheryl told them..."Pay them no attention...they've been doing this routine for 30 years."..
Tomorrow from 5am to 11am House of Satan is having their black Friday sale. They have a 31 or 32 inch TV on sale for $388. so Merle said he wanted to get one, and I said well, I'm going ..you want to go with me?..So Merle and I are going to the House of Satan at 5am in the morning...Holy shit!...Plus I still have to work from 9am-1pm...My ass will be draggin'....
I said.."I can remember when that would have been a compliment."...Cheryl made us sit apart, we were giggling like 9 year olds...Dennis kids were just shaking their heads at us..Cheryl told them..."Pay them no attention...they've been doing this routine for 30 years."..
Tomorrow from 5am to 11am House of Satan is having their black Friday sale. They have a 31 or 32 inch TV on sale for $388. so Merle said he wanted to get one, and I said well, I'm going ..you want to go with me?..So Merle and I are going to the House of Satan at 5am in the morning...Holy shit!...Plus I still have to work from 9am-1pm...My ass will be draggin'....
I took a shit load of pictures but will have to wait till Babs gets the camera and down loads them before I can post them. I'm pooped...need to go take a shower and try to get some sleep before I get up to go face the fat house wives in their house coats, dragging the husband around by his ......well, it's going to be ugly...Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving..I did. We even had a guy show up in a limo...we all decided he hadn't been laid in a reallly long time and that he was hoping to impress someone enough to get at least a blow job...T.J. laughed and said..."Don't look at me."...
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
guess what?..I'm spending Thanksgiving at Strickly Country. I think I was invited because they knew I would bake pies. So I will go tomorrow and take a pecan, pumpkin, and chocolate cream. Eat,raise a little hell watch at least 2 football games, come home take a nap and then watch game #3...3 fecking football games...life is good. I will take pictures...also will take some of my tree....everyone have a wonderful and joyous Thanksgiving.
Remember how we re-payed the Indians for that first Thanksgiving..?...Now your kinfolk get to return the favor. love and kisses, yo'friend ydg
NEW YORK NITTY GRITTY
this is my favorite photo-blog. I have read lots of them and like a lot of them, but this is by far the best in my book..He's also up for best photo-blog on blogspot.com
You can vote for him in your inclined..You can also go and check him out..You won't be disappointed..some of my screen savers over the past 3 years have been his photos. My favorites of his are the ones he takes of the Empire State Building, which is my favorite building, but he takes pictures of shadows, doorways, the New York Canyons, and just all of New York..average every day things you would see if you lived there and walked the streets..He's really good...check him out..jac
Monday, November 24, 2008
ONLY IN TEXAS
MISS TEXAS
This is an article I found in my DAM News, by Scott Farwell.
I'll do my own fine little editing.
Cassie Nova is resplendent in red. Her figure is flattered by an almost-there hem-line. Heels, three-inch, Hair, teases. Makeup, porcelain doll smooth.
As co-host of a preliminary Miss Texas pageant held Sunday night in Dallas, Ms. Nova was all woman, except for one thing--she's a man.
Therein lies the problem. That and the pageant venue: a gay bar.
"I didn't know a drag queen was going to have that prominent of a role," said Jean Magness, executive director of the Miss Texas Organization, who watched over the Miss Oak Cliff/Miss Oak Lawn Area pageant at the Oak Lawn lounge. The Rose Room. "The question was Cassie's involvement. Was it appropriate? For me and other board members present, that was a major concern."
(Oh, it just keeps getting better and better)
In the days before and since the pageant, a controversy caught wind.
One one side, the local competition's director and others say beauty pageants have long been the dominion of gay men. they supervise wardrobes, style hair, and, for what-ever reason, seem to have a knack for coquettish walks down the runway.
(ya think?)
On the other, some contestants and their mothers say nowhere are gender roles more defined than at a beauty pageant--an onstage display of pose, grace and conventional femininity.
"It was pretty clear they were pushing an agenda," said Barbara Cox(no pun intended), an elementary school teacher who squirmed while watching her daughter compete Sunday night. "It's never healthy when society deviates to the extreme. I can't see where something like this would be beneficial to our nation.(oh fuckme sideways) As a matter of fact, I see it as a detriment." (which means she had a hetro doing up her daughter for the pageant and was at a huge disadvantage)
Talk like that angers Dustin Fitzner, the local pageant's executive director.
"That's like saying everything I believe in is immoral and wrong," he said. "I'm not going to take my rainbow flag and march down the street for gay rights, but this is the first time I've been personally insulted, and I decided I'm going to do something about it."
When Gregg Kilhoffer, president of a company that owns several Oak Lawn gay clubs, offered to host the pageant for free, Mr. Fitzner jumped. (there's a sexual joke in there some place, but I'll leave it to you to find it.)
"I'm not going to pay $5,000 to rent out the auditorium at Highland Park High School," he said. "This made incredible sense. I'm a gay man, and this was a way to support my community."(and to stir some shit up with the straight world)
(not that that's a bad thing)
Hundreds of young women enter Miss Texas preliminary pageants in hopes of winning the statewide event held in Fort Worth each July. The winner of that pageant competes to be Miss America. The process starts at shows like Sunday's, which attracted nine entries.(big hair and all)
Soon after setting the venue last summer, Mr. Fitzner started having problems.(no shit?...this is still Texas, right?)
Some contestants said they didn't want to compete in a bar.
Others said they wouldn't feel safe in Oak Lawn. (what? 'fraid of the big bad homos?...your quasi-virginity is safe with them I'm sure.) Each time he heard it, Mr. Fitzner suspected the girls-or their families were uncomfortable competing at a gay nightclub. (what gave you the first clue, Sherlock?)
Others said they wouldn't feel safe in Oak Lawn. (what? 'fraid of the big bad homos?...your quasi-virginity is safe with them I'm sure.) Each time he heard it, Mr. Fitzner suspected the girls-or their families were uncomfortable competing at a gay nightclub. (what gave you the first clue, Sherlock?)
It wasn't the first time he'd run into problems.
Growing up in Bowie, Texas, the 6-foot-5-inch Mr. Fitzner played center on his high school basket team and performed in
theater.
"It was a Brokeback Mountain kind of experience," he said recently, smiling over chicken salad at a cafe on Cedar Springs Road. "They didn't know whether to clap for me or beat the (expletive) out of me." (for you who don't know..they beat the shit out of me)
But at 29, with a business degree and a job and a place to call his own., Mr. Fitzner said, he's finally comfortable in his own skin. (or in someone else's... sorry I couldn't resist)No explanations, no apologies.
Maybe that's why he didn't flinch when others recoiled at the idea of having a local Miss Texas pageant-the second he has organized- at The Rose Room. And maybe that's why, when he was signing entertainers, he gravitated to Cassie Nova- a drag queen, runner -up of Miss Gay Texas 2008 and one of his favorite acts.
"She is hilarious," Mr. Fitzner said. "There are two people I want with me on my death bed:Celine Dion and Cassie Nova."(sigh.....it just don't get any better than this...I fucking love Texas)
At first, the decision put him at odds, with Mrs. Magness,(of the Fort Worth Magness's), head of the Miss Texas program.
She worried about the reputation of the event, which has flagged in recent years amid criticism that pageants objectify women, rewarding beauty over brains.(hey it worked for Cassie Nova.)
But after speaking to Mr. Fitzner, she was convinced that the Rose Room would be acceptable and that a female impersonator could have a limited, tasteful role in the event.(in other words he had pictures of her and T.O. Owens in a compromising position at Motel 6)
"Many of the people who participate in the pageants world are from the gay community because, it its own way pageants are a theatrical type world,"(also in the picture was a goat, 2 teenage girls and assorted S&M gear.) Mrs. Magness said, " We're already a blended community.( a midget, several jars of mayonnaise and a whip)
But after watching Sunday's show, Mrs. Magness said that Mr. Fitzner is welcome to direct more Miss Texas pageants -as long as drag queens are not part of the show.(she paid $5,000 for the pictures, but he keeps the negatives.)
At one point Sunday night, Cassie spoke directly to pageant officials.
"Hey judges, you OK?" she asked. "You need a little liquor or something: You're not supposed to drink, but I can slip you something.(oh....I bet he could) I've got a flask in my...(pointing at her cleavage)"...
A few minutes later, she sashayed across the stage, her sequin-studded red dress sparkling under a disco ball.(I bet his balls were sparkling under that sequin-studded red dress) She sang "My Strongest Suit" by the Spice Girls.
The crowd of about 100 people howled.
"I held back quite a bit," said Cassie, whose real name is James Love(oh I bet it is). "My onstage personality is a little bit more vulgar. I edited myself so I could win them over and make them not fear the unknown so much."(which means, she's got a date with Judge Number 3.)
Mr. Love, 36, has worked as a drag queen with the same company for 17 years. He said controversy about his job doesn't surprise him, but hypocrisy does.
"What kills me about these girls is the ones who (complain) about a pageant at a gay bar are the same ones who clamor for gay makeup artists," he said. "they want to get on the moral high ground when it's public."
Some people said the winners from Sunday's pageant-Alex Eppler as Miss Oak Cliff and Kat Ewing as Miss Oak Lawn Area-will be handicapped by controversy in the 2009 Miss Texas competition next year. Others said they expect the gay community to rally behind the girls.(include your own joke here)
"I don't think it will be a disadvantage," Ms. Ewing said after the pageant. "I'm glad to be a part of something that's pushing things forward.
I am sooo going to root for for Alex and Kat. Look for them next year at the Miss Texas contest..I can't wait.
Oh....man...you gotta love Texas...I sure do.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
DALLAS 35-- SAN FRANCISCO 22
Plus...we beat the point spread..So far(not counting tonight's games) I'm 106-58-5...I happy!...
I also made 4 pecan pies today...One for Babs, one for Tom, who furnished the pecans, one for Edda K. and one for the manager for the other dollar store in West..She tried to lure me over to her side Saturday, but I let her know I couldn't work more than 20 hours a week, and I liked my shift at Family Dollar. Didn't want to tell her I hate Dollar General stores. They always look dirty and cramped compared to Family Dollar. That's not just because I work for them, I felt the same way before I went to work there...I only go there for specific things that we don't carry at Family Dollar, like the McCormack spices, vitamins, raunchy cards, and there Charmin soft toilet paper is .50 cents cheaper than ours.
Babs came over to get her pie and helped me de-bug my computer...it's working so much better now. I need to do laundry and since I hate to do laundry I'm going to go see if I have one more clean work shirt, so I can put it off till tomorrow. I'm going to go to House of Satan on Black Friday again this year. I'm going to get 2 mini choppers($4 each as compared to $10 at Family Dollar) for me and Babs, a microwave for $25, and a Sewing Machine for $60. I decided I'm going to start making aprons and clothes pin bags. Two things that people ask for all the time and no one in town carries.
Our cold front came and went..it was in 60's today and I was sweating like a piglet..but then I had the oven going all fecking day too. Still have to make some chocolate covered pretzels for Babs. She was going to get some already made ones when I convinced her that I could make them just as good, all I needed was the pretzels and some bark..Which let to 20 minutes of me wandering up and down the aisles going 'bark..bark...bark'... Then we drove by the new used shit store. It's called Bucky's Bargain Barn. So I had to say that about 12 times until Babs(who's still a little testy from not smoking) threatened to make me walk home if I didn't shut the fuck up.
She's gone with out a cigarette for over 10 days. We decided not to keep count as it's easier not to. ha..
I have the tree up and it really looks good. Will take some pictures..Annie has staked out a place right under the tree and is eyeing the lower balls. So far she's left them alone, but Tina, Babs kitty has already climbed the tree a few times and broke some balls.(that has a certain ring to it..breaking balls.....sorry guys..it's a woman thing.)
After a series of incidents the past few weeks, I've decided I know what my last words will be. I went to put garbage out one day and a cat jumped out and I yelled "Holy shit."...(I never scream)..One of the old ladies snuck up on me in the laundry room and I yelled "Holy Shit."...and today while reaching into the birdseed bag a mouse jumped up at me I yelled "Holy Shit."....and then laughed my ass off..So I'm sure when I look up and see a truck coming at me or look over from my hospital bed and see me start to flat line...my last words will be "Holy Shit."....
Hope you all had a "Holy Shit" weekend..