STUMBLE YOUR WAY TO A SMILE

ANN COULTER FLU

CENTERS FOR DISEASE
CONTROL AND PREVENTION

IMPORTANT NOTICE
RE: SWINE FLU

As you were advised through an earlier Department advisory letter, there is a distinct possibility of an outbreak and epidemic of Swine Flu in this country.
To facilitate identification and in order that you may be on the alert for indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the virus, you should be aware of the following symptoms:
1. Sore throat
2. Persistent slight headache
3. Nausea or upset stomach
4. An uncontrollable urge to fuck in the mud

AND THE WINNERS ARE:

Steve Graham's Rated PG cooking team from Waxahahie, Texas won Grand Champion, and Gerald Maynarad and his Kick'n Back Kookers team took second place. I forgot to mention the kids part of the cook off...I don't know who judged them...There were 2 divisions..the 4-9 category and the 10 and up ...Jenna and her brother Jarred Maler (kinfolk) won first and second in the 4-9 age group and Faith Spohn and Reagan Sembera won first and second in the 10 and up category. Plus they had dessert too. Which if I had paid attention to, would have entered...Maybe not my pecan pie but something.

We have one engagement between Marcus Justin DeVere and Ellen Christine McNamara. They are the grand kids of locals, not actually locals.. We had 2 births...cutest little baby girls..Kinley Carter Hurtt weighing in at 6lbs.7oz.and 19 inches long. Plus Abigail Veronica Smith, 6 lbs.5 oz. and 19inches long.(how the hell did a Smith get in town. Ahh, she's a Lenart from Abbott and married a Smith. I forgot to tell you when I was judging the BBQ that when I first sat down I asked every ones name and then they asked mine and I said (knowing the drill) Jackie...Marvin said what's your last name(meaning who are you kin to)? I said Denney. He looked at me for about 3 seconds and turned to start talking to the wild and crazy Czech brothers...I tapped him on the shoulder and said 'My granddaughter is marrying a Czech, does that count?' and he said 'It means you have a granddaughter marrying a Czech, that's all.)...If you ain't Czech you ain't for shit in this town..Even after living here off and on for over 30 years...buttroys....

Everybody and their brother croaked this past week. We had 9 deaths...Two were young..one guy Bobby Hurtt was 54 and Dale Dean Heitmiller(of the Heitmiller Steak House Heitmillers) was 43..He's been sick with cancer for a long time.

The rest were my age and up to 93..They live forever here in West.I still can't get my printer to work..somehow I disconnected it and can't figure out how to fix it..sigh* Have to call Babs over and have her see what she can do...There are 2 more engagements Tasha Smith to Daniel Lee Thompson and Robert Jackson to Stephanie Nicole Hurst.

50 years ago Janis Druse had several stitches taken in her foot after cutting it on a coke bottle at the wiener roast at Lake Park.

Best of all....the West Trojans knocked off(better than knocked up) Liberty Hill in the quarterfinals. They will play the Brownwood Lions this Saturday at 2pm in Mineral Wells. Hmm, wonder how far that is from here? Would be fun to go watch them play....nahhh, too hot..(score was 8-5)I remember my Daddy taking me there when I was a kid..they have the mineral wells and you can swim in it and it's supposed to be healing waters..All I remember is it smelled like my uncle Rusty's boot after he found a hard-boiled egg , left over from the Easter Hunt 3 weeks or so before.) Surpher I supposed. But judas priest it stunk.

It's back up in the 90's and humid as all get out from the rain we had..But my little cherry tomatoes are turning red and I have 4 types of lettuce growing like crazy. I also jumped all over Charlotte's ass for killing my grass..This is twice she's sprayed that one corner with weed killer so she doesn't have to mow it..I told her to stop it, that I was 'highly highly .HIGHLY pissed' and if she didn't want to do the yards to hire someone that would do it right, slammed my door and waited for her to come knock on the door and I was really going to ream her ass..But she skulked off to the office..Babs and I have decided that it's fraud..She's getting paid to do mow the lawns, rake, blow leaves, etc. and she goes around with weed killer killing all the grass so she doesn't have to mow it.. so we think that's fraud.

I bought 7 packages of chicken breast at .99 cents a pound so will be sprouting feathers soon. Food Mart has beef sirloin tip steak on sale for $2.59 lb. I keep waiting for Community Grocery to have the Wright Bacon on sale..so far..nada.

But they do have Blue Bell Quarts on sale for 2 for $5...and zucchini squash for .69 cents a pound..nummy.

There's a 3bd/2bath with 2 car garage on 11.75 acs. for $275,900.

Driving through town Saturday was amazed at all the houses for rent or for sale. 30 years ago when I lived here I had to move to Waco because I couldn't find a place to rent and there wasn't one house for sale..not one...Now? Every where. Lots of empty store fronts too. Every one at Family Dollar has had their hours cut back, because of the drop in sales. I think 30% of West citizens live below the poverty level..

Have to run to Old Corner Drug and pick up my diabetes medicine and go by Family Dollar and pick on Inky..Need to get a case of water..Will post some more stumbles too. Have a great week-end and Goddess bless you all.

AND THEN SHE SAID:

here comes da judge, here comes da judge

Leaving the K.C. grounds...love my clouds.

This is the 2 West Priests blessing the bar for the Knights of Columbus Hall's bar with beer...Don't you just love the Czech's?

this is the town hero..Scott Posednek...who helped the Chicago White Soxs win the world series one year.

Marvin closes to the camera, Bohunk(what ever his name is and his brother Milan from the Czech Republic. I asked where the wives were and Marvin said "Oh the women stayed back in the Czech Republic...sigh*

Let me tell you there is a reason why there is always a shortage for judges for these cook offs, most people know better. I thought there is no way they can mess up BBQ....wrong again old lady..I have to admit with the exception of 2 of the chickens that were so tough you could wield them as weapons the chickens were pretty good...I gave 2 10's..and a few 9's...The 2 that were so tough were also crappy...no smoke flavor, and one was pink inside...and your not allowed to say anything...but there was plenty of eye rolling and gaking sounds...After we judged them we could say something...like 'oh man number c4 sucked.'....well, that's what I said anyhow..The ribs were ok...none were really great but one was so bad..the cinnamon ones..oh my Goddess, I know that was the reason I spent 3 hours sitting on the toilet when I came home..Who the fuck puts cinnamon in BBQ sauce?...Really...We all had something to say about them when the judging was over..Oh I have to tell you about the other judges at my table..Marvin, Arnold, and 2 guys from the Czech Republic that didn't speak any English. I only know 2 words in Czech...pevo(beer) and pupek(bellybutton)...So the 2 brothers from the Czech Republic Milan and Buhunk(or something like that) were here for 3 weeks and they were very excited about being judges in the BBQ cook off...right up until they got the ribs with the cinnamon...I don't know how to speak Czech but I'm pretty sure they said it tasted like shit. The one brother Milan would take his Czech/English dictionary and ask me the question and then give me the answer..as in "How do you like America?" "I like America very much, it is very beautiful and want to come back again."....pretty funny..By the time we got to the brisket all I wanted to do was down a glass of pepto and take a nap.I didn't even stay to see who won..I was afraid I'd find out who put the cinnamon in the ribs and beat them to death with one of the ribs..So I went around taking pictures of the K.C. hall...but the pictures had too much light and you can't see much..The other judge was Arnold who I know from the Tiger Shop where Charlie plays the accordion and they both drink a ton of beer and then go home and take a nap. But sitting at the table with those 2 who are both in their mid 70's and both grew up in West and have known each other all of their lives was so interesting. Marvin told about going to school when he was a kid..before WWII...and they didn't have a bus at first so they had to walk 2 1/2 miles to school and back and if the roads were muddy from rain they had to walk in the fields. Then they got a bus, but it didn't have any breaks or reverse..So the driver would pull up, down shift until it was slow enough and then the kids would run along side of the bus and jump into the back door which was broke and always stayed open. Same for when they had to get off, he'd downshift and they would jump off ....Then he would pull into a circular driver way and go back the other way ..no reverse..They told stories about how when they got out of school they went directly to the fields to work and the little ones (toddlers) were kept in a cage...a big cage with a top on it ...not to be mean to the kids but to keep them safe..So they wouldn't wander off into the road, or the crick, or get 'et by the critters, which could be rabid. Can you image that happening today?..ha..I really enjoyed listening to their stories..I drank water (they had pickle slices and carrot sticks to cleanse the pallet between bites, but the rest of them drank pevo. So Marvin is an usher at St. Mary's and they have a Saturday Mass for the people that want to go to confession on Saturday night. Plus there was a funeral for some old guy named L.A. who was in his 90's and croaked..So Marvin went right from the judging to St. Mary's. It was tempting to go to Mass, just to see how Marvin who had about 6 pevo's managed to navigate up and down the aisle. So that's my BBQ judging adventure..and let me tell you folks, it'll be a warm day in Hel before I volunteer for judging a cook off again..seriously ...I had tried to talk Babs into going with me...she laughed her ass off when I told her about it...I'll do a short post on the winners Thursday after I get the West Paper and find out who won. See if I can ferret out the buttroy with the cinnamon..

CHILI CONTESTANTS

These are just a few of the campers and cookers..There were only 13 entrees for chicken, 14 for ribs, 13 for brisket..But I think some of them only entered one of them while some entered all of them...Who ever the 14th one was that entered the rib cook off, should be hung up by his balls..they were so disgusting I almost barfed.. they had put cinnamon in them..and while all the other ribs were small pork ribs and pretty tasty, the ones with cinnamon on them were huge, and were so tough the plastic fork and knife wouldn't work, we had to rip the meat off and it was so tough I broke a nail...

this one was my favorite..if you can't read it it says 3 things i hate in life..hot beer, cold women and Jeff Gordon...

These 2 were the oldest cooks there.

The bathrooms for the K.C. Grounds. It's really very pretty there and think I will go back and maybe just sit on one of the benches and eat a sammich and drink a Dublin Dr Pepper

The showers

I went to take a picture of the Christians cooker and fell in love with the pooch..He also fell in love with me..must like pagans..I petted on him for the longest time and when I finally walked away he wolfed and barked and whined..had to go back and pet him some more. The commented on how much he liked me...man...I wanted to say something sooooo bad..but didn't want to get thrown out before I even got started.

There is a lot of money wrapped up in these cookers..and some of them came a long ways.

KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS GOUNDS

I'm going to do these in shifts as there are so many of them..
this is the road going out to the K.C. Grounds..wanted you to see there are trees around here..no hills, but trees.

These are just shots of the grounds with all the contestants. As you can see, we had storm clouds most of the day, but didn't get any rain..we got them the day before when I left the window down in the truck..as usual..more pictures to come.

PRE CHILI COOK OFF PICTURES

Annie pretending she doesn't see me..

My lettuce..I've already made a salad out of a batch already and it just keeps on a coming.

My tomatoes..if you look really close you can see them..they are t-tiny just starting to bud.

My nasty urchins.

Margaret..she's the one that left me gasping for breath and seeing spots the first time I walked with her around the apts... She maybe 77 years old..but she's a walking fool...

Chili pictures to come...