WELL, I REALLY DID TRY AND WATCH HIM BUT THAT DAMN "SHIT EATING GRIN" OF HIS JUST MAKES ME SO DAMN MAD IM AFRAID IM GOING TO PULL AN ELVIS AND SHOOT OUT MY TV...SO I FIGURED IF IM GOING TO HAVE TO LOOK AT A WIENIE I WOULD WATCH PBS SPECIAL ON HOT DOGS....AT LEAST THOSE WIENIES DONT MAKE ME WANT TO BASH MY HEAD ON THE WALL...
AND ON LETTERMAN THE OTHER NIGHT A GUY NAMED JEFF MCGREGGOR WAS ON..WROTE A BOOK CALLED SUNDAY MONEY..ABOUT NASCAR RACING..AND USED A TERM THAT I FOUND TO BE ONE OF THE FUNNIEST I HAD EVER HEARD...REFERING TO THE PEOPLE THAT LED THE BIKIKI CLAD TRIPLES AROUND THE TRACK BEFORE THE RACE AS "SKANK RANGLERS"..I CRACKED UP....HAVE TO READ THE BOOK NOW FOR SURE...
THIS IS GOING TO BE A SHORT BLOG AS I HAVE TO SEE ABOUT GETTING NEW INSURANCE ON MY TRUCK...BUT BEFORE I GO......WHO THE HELL WAS THE IDIOT THAT RUINED A GREAT IDEA LIKE THE POTATO CHIP AND DECEIDED IT NEEDED TO TASTE LIKE SALAD DRESSING...WHAT NEXT..CEREAL THAT TASTE LIKE KETCHUP???
i so appreciate the comments everyone leaves for my blogs...nice to know that im not the only one that thinks im smart and funny..
i was watching pbs the other night, think it was smiley travis?? and he had this reverend on and was touting his book, havent got it yet but am reading his other one called taking the bible back from the fundamentals..?? or close the guys name is rev. strok and the book is soo good. im not a christian as i belive in a woman god..but if more christians thought like this man i would be come a believer.. i ususally dont recomment non fiction as i end up pissing everyone off with my yellowdogdemocrat views..but this book needs to be read more and his new one..ill get the title by the next time i get on..(just remembered he bpg show''s host is travis smiley...but i kind of like mine better)...
king george is going to commandeer our tv again tonight...why thurs. you dick wad...make me miss csi and er...i thought he would be so busy holding the prince''s hand and kissing his ass that we might not see him around for a while...also was in dallas paper..when the prince was in dallas,(seems he''s not fond of the plainess of ''the ranch''(no stock so still dont know how this is a ranch) and rented the entire hotel in dallas for himself and his croneys..the guy that makes his tea and the one that helps him dress and the one that...well, you get the idea...for all the ass kissing and handholding that king george did with the prince...nothing has changed..we are still paying $50 a barrel for gas...but the upside is all those asshole''s that bought the bigass hummers and suv''s are selling them off and taking at least a $700 loss...hee..hee...the goddess strikes again...
WELL, TO ALL OUR GAY AND LESBIAN FRIENDS OUT THERE..EVIDENTLY JESUS DIDNT MEAN YOU..ACCORDING TO THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT... I READ EVERY DAY IN THE PAPER ABOUT GAY BASHING, LESBIANS BEING FIRED, MILITARY PEOPLE GETTING OUT OF ARMY BECAUSE THE DONT ASK DONT TELL POLICY JUST DOESNT WORK...STATES HAVE SCREWED UP FOSTER CARE SYSTEMS YET GAYS AND LESBIANS CANT BE A FOSTER PARENT. THEY CANT MARRY OR HAVE A LEGAL UNION...WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT FOR THE MIDDLE EAST IS THIS ACCEPTABLE...??? NO WHERE..ENGLAND HAS PASSED A LAW ALLOWING GAYS AND LESBIANS TO MARRY, HAVE THE SAME BENEFITS THAT MARRIED COUPLES DO..BUT NOT HERE....IN THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE SCARDY CATS...MEAN WHILE KING GEORGE IS HOLDING HANDS WITH A PRINCE (SOME DAY MY PRINCE WILL COME)..TO BETTER OUR HOPES IN LOWERING THE GAS PRICES...NEXT STEP WILL BE KING GEORGE KISSING HIS ASS...AND GAS WILL STILL BE $50 A BARREL...FUCK ME ILL NEVER SMILE AGAIN....
what ever you do...just about the time i think its enough to live happily in texas because of the bluebonnets, beautiful clouds, the dallas cowboys, and my family resides here...some more stupid people crawl out of the wood work and fuck up my day...
so, im reading my daily dallas morning newspaper like i do every flapping day of my life...and what do i see on page 4a the texas ssection...but this headline
LESBIANS'' FIRINGS OPEN RIFT IN TOWN..
yup the insane people are running the aslymn again...2 women who are lesbians were fired from their job in a town of 375 people...one was a bus driver and office assistant and the other was a teacher and coach who led the school''s basketball team to state finals in 2004....seems a mr. jerry hendrick a school counselor was promoted to superintendent and used the occasion to fire them for being lesbians... a board memeber ronnie peacock(now there is a gay name if i ever heard one)....said he was going ot make sure they were fired bcause they were lesbians...you know i bet i know why old ronnie is so against gays....i bet with a name like peacock he got teased his entire boyhood by those mean spirited little kids about having a name with cock in it...peacock, "seecock, beacock, i can imagine the names he was called..."..well, there goes my happy day....why oh why arent people more understanding and tolerant about their fellow human beings...when i meet someone i dont think to myself i wonder who they sleepw with, or how they do it...i could care less. i want to know if this person is good to their family, is good to their friends...likes animals and lives a good life...i dont care what they do ...as long as they dont do it in my yard and scare my dogs... so im here to say please excuse the ignorant people that live in a town of 375..not all of them..as i know there are some good ones out there...but i am sorry that they are ignorant assholes ...the goddess will get them....
far fucking out...cant believe that i have that many bloggers to this site..i only started blogging so i could piss people off and damn everyone (sofar) agrees with me...now how much fun is that...lots...so far I''ve only pissed one person off and had to go to her site to do it....she was from texas and was whinning...now i allow bitching, carping, muttering, and general bad hehavior..but whinning...no fucking way tonto..i know times are tough, hard and heart breaking...but whinning is unexceptable...i have a sign at the house that says ."no whinning zone"...
im still in shock from sat. my son bought me a lawn mower and came over and mowed my lawn...so grass is no longer up to my ass...and to top it off, it rained right afterwards and my tomatoes have lilttle yellow flowers...so excited...going to go buy some herbs..is that ''erbs or herbs???
the jefferson airplane had a song about a baby and his war toys...cant remember all of it or even most of it..but for some reason when i think of king george i think of that song...in case anyone has a weird sense of humor go to the web site..georgewbush is the anti-christ...i did and laughed so hard....eveyone needs a good laugh....well, is raining again. want to get home and put kitchen window down....
YESTERDAY WAS A GREAT DAY..KINDA SORTA..WENT TO GARAGE SALES, ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO...AND THIS ONE ADVERTISED BOOKS, LOTS OF BOOKS...SO I DROVE WAY THE HELL INTO BUMFUCK, TEXAS AND FOUND THIS PLACE WITH ALL THE BOOKS...AND IT WAS FUN...UNTIL.....THE COUPLE RUNNING IT SEEMED NICE ENOUGH PEOPLE, THE OLD MAN WHO WAS WEARING WHITE TSHIRT, BIB OVERALLS, WHITE SOCKS AND HOUSESLIPPERS...WAS A BIT CHATTY, BUT ILL TALK TO A STUMP SO THAT WAS NO PROBLEM...BUT SOMEHOW AND I SWEAR TO THE GODDESS I DONT KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT WE WENT FROM TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER (HAD BEEN WINDY AND A LITTLE NIPPY FOR A CHANGE) TO ARGUING POLITICS... I KNOW HE SARTED IT AS I TRY TO KEEP MY COMMENTS TO MYSELF AS I KNOW IM OUT NUMBERED HERE AS MOST ARE RIGHT WING, WINGNUT REPUBLICANS...SO I KEEP MY PEACE TO KEEP PEACE...BUT NOOOOOOO, THIS ASSHOLE INFORMED ME THAT IT WAS THE DEMOCRATS FAULT ABOUT THE HIGH LAND TAXES, THE CITY TAXES (ALL DOMINATED BY REPUBLICANS)..THE STAE OF THE NATION..THAT THE ONLY REASON WE WERE IN IRAQ WAS TO SAVE THE PEOPLE FROM SADAAM, GEORGE BUSH WAS BEING PICKED ON, ETC. ETC. ETC. WELL, THE THIN FINE WIRE THAT KEEPS ME FROM SANPPING........SNAPPED.....I CALMLY SAID (THRU GRITTED TEETH) NO THE REASON WE ARE IN IRAQ IS BECAUSE KING GEORGE LIED LIKE A PERSIAN RUG TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ABOUT WMD ...AND HOW COULD ALL THE PROBLEMS BE DEMOCRATS WHEN THE FUCKING REPUBLICANS WERE IN POWER...THINK THIS IS WHEN HIS THIN FINE WIRE SNAPPED. HE SAID ALL DEMOCRATS WANT MORE GOVERNMENT, THEY WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM...THIS CAUSED THE FIRST OF MANY FUSES TO BLOW....I SAID YOU IGNORANT RED NECK ASSHOLE...WE DONT WANT MORE GOVERMENT IN OUR LIFE..WE WANT THEM OUT OF OUR LIVES...WE WANT THEM OUT OF OUR WOMBS, OUT OF OUR BEDROOMS AND AWAY FROM THE SIDE OF HOSPITAL BED WHEN WE ARE DIEING...THE ONLY THING WE DEMOCRATS WANT ...IS FOR ALL YOU FUCKING IGNORANT REPUBLICANS TO EAT SHIT AND DIE.....NEXT ROUND OF FUSES BLEW...TWO THINGS HAPPENED ...I PAID FOR MY BOOKS AND STARTED OUT OF THERE AND HE STARTED SPUTTERING LIKE A OLD OUT BOARD MOTOR....HE WAS STILL SPUTTERING WHEN I GOT IN MY TRUCK AND DROVE AWAY....AH, LIFE IS GOOD.I FINALLY MANAGED TO PISS SOMEONE OFF AND GOT TWO GREAT BOOKS IN THE BARGAIN....
ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT TEXAS ARE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW...ITS SPRING TIME IN TEXAS...THE BLUE BONNETS ARE BLOOMING AND ANYONE WHO HASENT BEEN TO TEXAS IN THE SPRING TO SEE THIS WONDERFUL OCCASION...WELL, SORRY...BLUE BONNETS ARE THE STATE FLOWER....THE INDIAN LORE ABOUT HOW THEY CAME ABOUT IS THAT THERE WAS A TIME OF GREAT DROUGHT AND THINGS WERE GETTING REALLY TOUGH ON THE INDIANS OF THE PLAINS OF TEXAS...THE GROUND WAS DRYING AND CRACKING, CROPS WERE DIEING AND ANIMALS WERE STARTING TO DIE ALSO...THE INDIANS WERE IN DIRE STRAITES...ONE LITTLE INDIAN GIRL HAD A DOLLY THAT SHE LOVED ABOUT ALL THINGS...SO SHE DECEIDED TO SCRAFICE HER DOLLY TO THE GODS AND SEE IF IT WOULD BRING RAIN...AND SHE BURNED HER DOLLY AND THEN STARTED TO CRY AND THEN IT STARTED TO RAIN..AND WHERE SHE HAD CRIED..BLUE BONNETS POPPED UP..THERE IS EVEN A SONG ABOUT IT AND REMEMBER SINGING IT TO MY GRANDDAUGHTER WHEN SHE WAS A BABY...EACH GIRL HAD THEIR OWN SONG...
THE OTHER THING I LOVE ABOUT TEXAS IN THE SPRING IS BASEBALL SEASON...WEST, TEXAS IS VERY SERIOUS ABOUT KIDS AND BASEBALL. WE HAVE 73KAZILLION TEAMS OF BASEBALL. FROM TBALL TO PONY LEAGUE...AND WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS BASEBALL PLAYERS... AND THE NICE THING ABOUT IT,IS (KNOCK ON WOOD) THAT WE DONT HAVE ANY OF THE PSYCHO PARENTS THAT GO CRAZY DURING THE GAMES AND THREATEN TO KICK EACH OTHERS ASS OR KILL THE UMPIRE...THEY ACTUALLY ARE JUST PARENTS THAT ARE HAPPY THAT THEIR KIDS ARE PLAYING BALL...WENT TO LIBARAY THIS AM TO CHECK OUT NUMBER 5 OF THE DARK TOWER SERIES AND THE BASEBALL PARK IS RIGHT THERE AND THERE MUST HAVE BEEN 400 CARS...CONSIDERING THE POPULATION IS LESS THAN 2,000 THATS A LOT...IT IS A REALLY GREAT COMPLEX..HAVE 4 FIELDS I THINK...A NICE CONCESSION STAND AND NICE BLEACHERS...AND EVERYBODY GOES TO WATCH THE GAMES..MOM, DAD, SIBLINGS AND MOST OF ALL THE GRANDPARENTS...AND THE GREAT THING ABOUT THAT IS THERE ARE ALOT OF CZECH BORN PEOPLE STILL HERE AND THEY ALL SPEAK CZECH...AND LISTENING TO THEM YELL ENCOURAGING THINGS TO THE KIDS IN CZECH IS PRETTY FUNNY...
I THINK TODAY THEY ARE JUST SIGNING UP KIDS FOR TEAMS...EACH BUSINESS IN TOWN SPONSERS AT LEAST ONE TEAM...SOME SPONSER 3-4 TEAMS...IN DIFFERENT LEAGUES, DIFFERENT AGES AND OF COURSE THIS IS TEXAS..DIFFERENT SEXES...I DONT MEAN WE HAVE DIFFERENT SEXES (LIKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN BOY, GIRL..) I MEAN THAT THE BOYS HAVE THEIR TEAMS AND THE GIRLS HAVE THEIRS...WHICH I THINK SUCKS...BUT...AT LEAST THE GIRLS CAN PLAY. WHEN I WAS A GIRL MANY MANY MANY MANY MOONS AGO, GIRLS COULDNT PLAY BALL...I WAS BORN IN 43...BUT DURNING SUMMER I PLAYED ON THE SAND LOT TEAMS AND KICKED ASS. I WAS CATCHER AND MY HERO WAS ROY CAMPANELLA OF THE BROOKLYN DODGERS... MAN I LOVED ROY CAMPANELLA...THAT WAS WHO I WANTED TO BE....THE CATCHER FOR THE BROOKLYN DODGERS... I WAS AN ONLY CHILD OF A AIR FORCE M/SGT. AND HE TAUGHT ME THAT I COULD DO ANYTHING AND BE ANYTHING....JUST HAD TO PUT MY MIND TO IT AND GIVE IT MY ALL...SO I SAID I WANT TO BE A CATCHER FOR THE BROOKLYN DODGERS....HE SAID ASK FOR SOMETHING ELSE..BOY WAS I PISSED...
I LIKE TO THINK THAT I NAMED MY CAT THE CORRECT NAME WHEN I GOT HIM. WHEN I BROUGHT HIM HOME INTO MY HOME THE FIRST TIME AFTER RESCUEING HIM FROM A COUNTRY ROAD(LAYING DOWN RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT) THE FIRST THING HE DID WAS LEAP ON MY PIT BULL DOG NATE WHO WAS ALREADY PUSSY WHIPPED BY THE OTHER TWO CATS I HAD AT THE TIME...HE GREW UP A PUPPY WITH THE GROWN CATS AND THEY RAISED HIM TO BE RESPECTFUL AND TO FEAR THEM...HE WEIGHED 100 LBS, AND THEY TOPPED OFF AT ABOUT 8LBS A PIECE, BUT THEY WERE THE BOSS AND NEVER LET HIM FORGET IT...AFTER I CALMED NATE DOWN FROM THE ATTACK BY THE NEW WHITE CAT WITH THE TAIL WITH YELLOW RINGS AROUND IT I FED WATERED AND SHOWED HIM WHERE THE LITER BOX WAS..HE THEN POUNCED ON THE OTHER TWO CATS...CHUCK AND AL..WHO IMMEDIATELY KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM...TO LET HIM TOO KNOW WHO WAS BOSS. AFTER THE DUST SETTLED AND THINGS STARTED TO RETURN TO NORMAL I NOTICED THAT THE NEW CAT HAD FUNNY COLORED EYES AND JUST KIND OF LOOKED WEIRD..WHEN I WOULD COME UP TO HIM HE WOULD TURN HIS HEAD AROUND, BACK AND FORTH LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT WHERE THE VOICE WAS COMING FROM...FOUND OUT HE HAS A SERVER VISION PROBLEM..HE''S NOT BLIND BUT HE DOESNT SEE THINGS LIKE HE SHOULD...HE WILL TRACE MY VOICE WITH HIS HEAD AND I HAVE TO STICK HIS HEAD INTO HIS FOOD BOWL AS HE CANT FIND IT HALF THE TIME...
WELL THE OTHER TWO CATS WENT THE WAY OF MOST CATS...AL DIED FROM SOME CAT DESEASE AND BLESSED OLD CHUCK DIED FROM OLD AGE...WAS ALMOST 17 YEARS OLD...AND NATE TRIED TO ATTACK A PICKUP TRUCK THAT WAS GOING 50 MILES AN HOUR...BUT OLD ROCKY IS STILL WITH ME...HE IS ABOUT 8 YEARS OLD AND HAVE DECEIDED THAT WHILE ROCKY IS A GOOD NAME FOR A CAT THAT LIKES TO FIGHT...SHOULD HAVE NAMED HIM "CANT FIGHT FOR SHIT"...AS HE IS CONSTANTLY GETTING HIS ASS KICKED....CAME HOME LAST NIGHT AND HIS NECK IS ALL CHEWED UP, HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE A PIN CUSHION, AND BIG GASH IN HIS SIDE...DOCTORED HIM UP AND TRIED TO KEEP HIM IN BUT HE SLIPPED OUT WHEN TROOPER WHEN OUT SIDE...
SO STAY TUNED FOR NEXT CHAPTER IN THE MANY ASSKICKINGS OF ROCKY....
WELL, NOW WE HAVE POPE BENEDICT THE XV1...BENEDICT MEANING BLESSED...HOPE THIS ONE ISNT A HARD LINER THAT REFUSES TO SEE THE POVERTY THAT IS ALL AROUND IN COUNTRIES WHERE THEY ARE SO OVER POPULATED THAT PEOPLE STARVE BEFORE THEY CAN GROW UP...AND LET THE PEOPLE USE BIRTH CONTROL. ALLOW THE USE OF STEM CELL RESEARCH...KICK THE PRIEST OUT OF THE CHURCH THAT WOULD DARE HARM A CHILD..
THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON IN MY FRIEND''S ATTIC. IM AT HIS HOUSE USING HIS COMPUTER AND THERE IS HISSING, GROWLING, SCRATCHING, THUMPING, RUNNING AND CHATTERING COMING FROM UP ABOVE MY HEAD...ITS EITHER SQUIRELS GETTING IN ON OR THE HOUSE IS POSSESSED...
SUPPOSED TO RAIN TODAY AND BEEN WAITING ALL MORNING FOR IT...MY TOMATOES NEED IT BADLY...BUT SINCE MY GRASS IS STILL ASS HIGH MEANS IF IT RAINS ILL HAVE TO WAIT A FEW DAYS TO MOW...THINK ILL JUST BUY A DAMN GOAT...WELL, OFF TO GROCERY SHOP...WEST HAS 2 SMALL GROCERY STORES...ONE STILL DELIVERS TO THE HOMES OF SHIT IN''S LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS... OUR DRUG STORE''S WILL DELIVER TO THE HOUSE TOO. ONLY THING I CANT GET DELIVERED TO THE HOUSE IS A DAMN PIZZA....
WE HAVE ALL THE NUTS HERE WE NEED. WAS ARTICLE IN THE DALLAS AM NEW WHICH I READ EVERY EVERY DAY...AND THEY ARE TRYING TO PASS LAWS TO RAISE THE AGE OF CONSENT FOR MARRIAGE TO16 FROM 14. MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR STEP PARENTS TO MARRY STEP CHILDREN...AND TOUGHER REQUIREMENTS TO RUN FOR OFFICE...WELL, THESE ARE ALL GOOD LAWS TO MAKE AND THE ONLY THING THAT PISSES ME OFF IS THEY ARE ONLY BEING MADE TO KEEP OUT THE FUNDAMENTALIST CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS...WHO HAVE SETTLED DOWN IN WEST TEXAS RIGHT OUT SIDE OF ELDORADO...NOW IF THESE LAWS HAD BEEN ALREADY IN PLACE THOSE WHACKO''S WOULDNT HAVE MOVED HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE..JUST ABOUT THE TIME I SETTLE IN AND THINK."DAMN, I LOVE TEXAS"...SOME CRAP LIKE THIS POPS UP...JUDAS PRIEST..IS EVERYONE IN TEXAS CRAZY...???AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE IN ENTIRE STATE? NOW TO HERE MY RELATIVES TALK ...IM THE NUT CASE. THEY ARE ALL RIGHT WING WINGNUTS, VERY RELIGIOUS AND THINK EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN IS GOING TO GET ME SENT STRAIGHT TO HELL. THUS, THE PRAYER MEETINGS THEY HAVE FOR ME...I BELIVE THAT THERE IS A GOODESS, NOT A GOD...JESUS IS A REALLY GREAT GUY...IF LIZ TAYLOR, MICHEY ROONEY, JENNIDFER LOPEZ, AND HALF THE PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD HAVENT ALREADY RUINED THE BINDS OF MARRIAGE..TWO PEOPLE OF THE SAME SEX VOWING TO LOVE EACH OTHER IS NOT GOING TO MESS IT UP ANY WORSE...I DONT BELIVE IN ABORTION, BUT I DAMN SURE DONT THINK A BUNCH OF OLD FARTS IN BLACK ROBES, OR OLD FARTS IN RED DRESSES HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL A WOMAN WHAT SHE CAN OR CANT DO WITH HER BODY..AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE THAT WERE PRAYING FOR TERRI...WELL, GET A FUCKING LIFE....GO HOME TAKE YOUR WIFE OUT TO DINNER, TAKE THE KIDS TO THE ZOO, ADOPT SOME OF THOSE FOSTER KIDS THAT ARE BEING LOST, ABUSED, AND KILLED IN THE MIGHTY STATE OF FLORIDA...AND IF ITS OK FOR A BRAIN DEAD WOMAN TO LIVE..HOW COME ITS OK TO KILL HEALTHY ONES IN THE STATE PRISON....
MAN, DO I FEEL BETTER NOW...PISS ANYONE OFF YET...???? I CAN ONLY HOPE...
PUTTING ANY FRIED FOOD ON A NAPKIN TO SOAK UP SOME OF THE GREASE...
I THINK I MENTIONED I DO ALOT OF READING...I READ THE BOOK BY STEPHEN KING AND STEWART O''NAN AND DECEIDED THAT SINCE I HAVE READ ALL OF KING''S BOOKS I WOULD READ O''NAN''S BOOKS. WELL I CHECKED OUT 3 BOOKS BY HIM. ONE WAS REALLY REALLY GOOD..SNOW ANGELS..AND THEN I READ A PRAYER FOR THE DIEING....WELL, LET ME TELL YOU NOW...I DONT LIKE TO BAD MOUTH BOOKS AS NO ONE WRITES A BOOK SPENDS THAT MUCH TIME AND LOVE WITH IT TO HAVE SOME ASSHOLE BITCH LIKE ME PUT IT DOWN...BUT THIS IS A FIRST...EVEYBODY DIES...THE DOGS DIE,THE HORSES DIE, THE BIRDS DIE, PEOPLE IN THE TOWN DIE, PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF TOWN DIE, PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN, PEOPLE OFF THE TRAIN, PEOPLE IN FRONT OF THE TRAIN...EVERYBODY FUCKING DIES....I DONT KNOW HOW THE GUY THAT WAS NARRIATING THE BOOK LIVED TO PUT THE END ON THE LAST PAGE AS HE DIES TOO...THE MOST MORBID BOOK I HAVE EVER READ..ALSOLUTELY NO REDEAMING QUALITIES ABOUT THIS BOOK AT ALL...EXCEPT HE SPELLED ALL THE WORDS CORRECTLY...THAT''S IT...I WANTED TO GO OPEN UP A VEIN WHEN I GOT THRU...OR BANG MY HEAD ON THE WALL...THE THIRD BOOK I COULDNT FINISH AS READING IT WAS LIKE TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF 15 PEOPLE ALL TALKING AT ONCE..SO THERE..I AM NOW A BOOK CRITIC..REALLY FEEL BAD ABOUT IT TOO. BUT SOMETHINGS JUST MUST BE SAID...
GETTING THINGS SIMI-ORGANIZED FOR THE GARAGE SALE...WHAT A FUCKING MESS. THINK I JUST WILL PRETEND I HAD A GARAGE SALE AND SET FIRE TO THE WHOLE MESS.
AND THROW IN A PRAYER FOR THE DIEING WHILE IM AT IT...SORRY O''NAN...BUT YOUR BOOK SUCKED...
EVERY TIME I GO TO A GARAGE SALE I REMEMBER GEORGE CARLIN''S BIT ABOUT HOW EVERYBODY ELSES STUFF IS "SHIT" AND YOUR''S IS STUFF...I LIKE MY STUFF AND WHERE DID YOU GET THIS SHIT AND WHY ARE YOU ASKING $2 FOR IT..I FOUND SOME GOOD PAPER BACKS FOR .25 AND WHEN I FINISH READING THEM I WILL DONATE THEM TO OUR LITTLE LIBRARY..WHICH FOR A SMALL TOWN HAS A GREAT GREAT SELECTION OF BOOKS. WE HAVE 9 COMPUTERS..A WONDERFUL CHILDREN''S SECTION AND SINCE I READ MORE BOOKS THAN ANY 10 PEOPLE I GET TO ACTUALLY MAKE UP A LIST OF BOOKS I WOULD LIKE HER TO GET SO I CAN READ THEM...WHICH IS REALLY FUNNY AS THE TOWN IS MOSTLY REPUBLICAN AND IM A YELLOW DOG DEMOCRAT AND WE NOW HAVE ONE OF THE LARGEST SELECTIONS OF LIBERAL BOOKS IN ANY LIBRARY IN THE STATE OF TEXAS. HAVE ALL OF AL FRANKLIN, MICHAEL MOORE,MOLLY INVINS, AND EVERY BOOK THAT WAS EVER WRITTEN THAT SLAMS, MAKES FUN OF, OR POINTS OUT WHAT A LIE''N ASSHOLE GEORGE W BUSH IS...WHAT I REALLY REALLY LOVE ABOUT IT, IS THE LIBRARIAN THINKS GWB HUNG THE MOON AND SHE HAS TO BUY THESE BOOKS THAT RIP HIM A NEW ASSHOLE AND SMILE AT ME WHILE SHE DOES IT...AHH, THE GODDESS IS GOOD...I LEAD SUCH A DULL LIFE THAT I TAKE MY PLEASURES WHERE I CAN...LIKE GOING TO CRAWFORD AND WATCHING THE MICHAEL MOORE MOVIE FAREINHEIGHT 9-11...OH MAN, YOU COULDNT HAVE CHISELED THE GRIN OFF MY FACE WITH A JACKHAMMER...THERE WERE YOUR LITTLE PREPPY ASSHOLES SCREAMING 4 MORE YEARS HOPING THEY COULD PISS SOMEONE OFF BAD ENOUGH TO START A FIGHT..WELL, THESE PEOPLE WERE A BUNCH OF OLE PEACE AND LOVE HIPPIES AND COULDNT REMEMBER HOW TO MAKE A FIST...BUT I BEING THE OBNOXIOUS ASSHOLE THAT I AM, QUEEN BITCH..TOOK THEM UP ON IT..SO HERE I AM. ALL 5''4", 61 YEARS OF ME..STANDING TOE TO TOE WITH 4 BIG OLD TEXAS BOYS THINKING THEY RULE THE ROOST...TOLD THEM I THOUGHT THEY WERE WUSSY HOMO''S AND IF THERE WAS A GOD THEY BETTER HOPE THEY WERE HOMO''S BECAUSE IF GWB GOT BACK IN HE WAS GOING TO INSTATE THE DRAFT FOR HIS LITTLE WAR AND SINCE THEY WERE OF THE RIGHT AGE, THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD KEEP THEM OUT IS IF THEY WERE THE LITTLE HOMO''S I THOUGHT THEY WERE.THEY SHUFFLED THEIR FEET AROUND IN THE DIRT FOR A WHILE AND THEN WENT HOME...JERKOFFS....
MAN, CAN I GO OFF ON A TANGENT...DONT GET ME STARTED ON GWB. I JUST LOSE COMPLETE CONTROL...
SO BACK TO THE GARGAE SALES...I FOUND THE PAPER BACKS AND THEY WERE BY MY NEW FAVORITE AUTHOR...T.J. MCGREGGOR...HE WRITES GOOD...
BUT MY FAVORITE AUTHOR IS JAMES LEE BURKE...IF YOU HAVE NOT READ ANY THING BY HIM...SHAME ON YOU...
IM GOING TO HAVE MY OWN GARAGE SALE IN ABOUT 3 WEEKS SO I CAN PUT OUT ALL MY GREAT STUFF AND HAVE PEOPLE WALK UP TO IT AND SAY HOW CAN SHE ASK $2 FOR THIS SHIT....
MY GRANDDAUGHTERS
MY CHILDREN
THE DALLAS COWBOYS RIGHT AFTER THEY BEAT THE EAGLES
SPRINGTIME IN TEXAS BECAUSE I LOVE THE BLUEBONNETS
MY FRIENDS
ANDREW BRANAUGH''S SMILE
THE THUMP OF THE DOGS TAIL ON THE FLOOR WHEN THEY HEAR ME LAUGH AT SOMETHING ON TV
DAVID LETTERMAN TALKING ABOUT HARRY
KNOWING I HAVE PISSED SOMEONE OFF..AND IT WAS ACCIDENTAL
JUST PISSING SOMEONE OFF IN GENERAL
MY YANKEE GIRLFRIEND LANE''S GOOFY ADVICE ABOUT MY WEIRD FAMILY..SHE CALLS THEM THE DENNEY SCHMUCKS
PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
THE SMELL OF HONEYSUCKLE
TAKING A SHOWER AND GETTING INTO BED WITH CLEAN SHEETS
AFTER I HAVE DUSTED US BOTH WITH BABY POWDER
DR.PEPPER MADE IN DUBLIN, TEXAS
GETTING EMAILS THAT ARENT JOKES, THEY ARE JUST MESSAGES FROM MY FRIENDS...
ROCKY ROAD ICECREAM
KNOWING WHAT GOES AROUND REALLY DOES COME AROUND
MORE TO COME....
OK, HERE''S THE DEAL...TAKE YOUR RIGHT HAND...RAISE IT IN THE AIR AND MAKE A CLAW WITH YOUR HAND...WIGGLE IT BACK AND FORTH....MAKE A DOWN WARD SLASHING WITH THE HAND AND SCREAM....SIC ''EM BEARS....CAUSE WE WON..I DIDNT WATCH THE GAME AS I WAS AFRAID I WOULD JINX THEM SO SAT AT HOME CRADDLEING MY RADIO WITH IT PRESSED TO MY EAR TRYING TO PICK UP THE GAME THRU ALL THE AM STATIC....FINALLY GAVE IT UP...AND WAITED FOR THE NEWS...THE TOWN OF WACO IS JUST ON CLOUD NINE...EVEY ONE IS RUNNING AROUND TOWN IN GREEN AND GOLD MAKING THE SLASHING BEAR CLAW AND GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR...HAPPY HAPPY. WE BE HAPPY...CHAMPIONSHIP TSHIRTS ARE FLYING OUT THE DOORS...STILL WARM FROM THE IRON...IM SO PROUD OF THOSE GIRLS...AND OUR COACH....SHE IS SUCH A GOOD ROLE MODEL AND THE INTIRE TEAM HAS LIFTED THE TOWN OF WACO AND BAYLOR UP UP UP...AH, THERE IS A GODDESS...AND SHE LIKES THE LADY BEARS.......
AFTER THE LAST GAME THAT I WATCHED AND THE GIRLS DROPPED BEHIND BY 15 POINTS WHILE I WATCHED..I AM NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH THE GAME TONIGHT...TOWN OF 1,600 AND NOT ONE PERSON WILL LET ME WATCH THE GAME ON THEIR TV. I DONT GET ESPN SO CANT WATCH IT ON MY TV...BUT WOULDNT ANY HOW AS I AM AFRAID I AM A JINX...SO IF THEY LOSSE TONIHGT IT WASENT MY FAULT...
I SWITCHED ON THE TV THIS MORNING AND SAW THEM CARRYING THIS MAN ALL DRESSED IN RED WITH A WHITE CAP ON AND THOUGHT OH, MY GOD,THEY KILLED SANTA CLAUS...THEN REALIZED IT WAS THE POPE...
THEN ( I SWEAR I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT JUST POPS INTO MY HEAD)I THOUGHT, WOULDNT IT BE FUNNY IF HE SAT UP AND SAID...."HERE''S JOHNNY"......
THEN WHILE MY SICK LITTLE MIND WAS GIGGLING OVER THAT I HAD THIS SUDDEN THOUGHT.....WHAT IF THEY DROP HIM???OR HE SLIDES OFF THAT AND SHOOTS DOWN THE STAIRS....OH MAN, I JUST HAD TO TURN THE TV OFF, I KNEW MY BRAIN WAS JUST SPINNING WITH MENTAL PICTURES OF THAT LITTLE TRICK....I WOULD REALLY FEEL BAD IF I DIDNT KNOW THAT THE POPE HAD A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR....PLUS, WE ALL KNOW HE IS IN HEAVEN DRINKING BEER, EATING PEROGIES AND WATCHING HIS FUNERAL...PRAYING FOR THE SICK AND THE POOR...WELL, EL PAPA...YOU HAD A GREAT RIDE....SO LONG....
WELL, I WENT HOME AND THEY HAD GONE FROM BEING DOWN BY 15 TO BEING TIED UP..SO I AM A JINX...THEY ENDED UP WINNING AND IM SO PROUD OF OUR BAYLOR BASKETBALL TEAM...THOSE GIRLS WERE AWESOME...THEY PLAY FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP TUES AGAINST MICHIGAN...I EXPECT THEM TO KICK ASS....ALSO DONT PLAN ON WATCHING THEM AS DONT WANT TO JINX THEM....
IF ANYOF YOU ARE RED SOX FANS..THERE IS A GREAT BOOK YOU MUST READ...BY STEPHEN KING AND STEWARD O''NAN...THINK ITS CALLED FAITHFUL....ABOUT THE 2004 YEAR AND THE SERIES AGAINST SL CARDS...SUCH A GREAT BOOK....
STOLE TWO JOKES FROM IT AND CHANGED IT SOME TO FIT MY TEAM..
BUT HERE GOES...
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE PHILIDELPHIA EAGLES FANS USE FOR BIRTH CONTROL???THEIR PERSONALITIES...
HEEHEE
I ONLY ROOT FOR TWO TEAMS...THE DALLAS COWBOYS AND ANY TEAM THAT BEATS THE EAGLES....
AS YOU CAN SEE, IM A LOYAL COWBOYS FAN AND HATE THE EAGLES...ACTUALLY IT ISNT THE TEAM OR PLAYERS THAT I HATE...ITS THE FANS...IF THE GODDESS WAS GOING TO GIVE THE WORLD AN ENEMA IT WOULD BE IN PHILLY....THE ARM PIT OF THE US...HA.....WELL, SPRING HAS SPRUNG HERE IN TEXAS...AND DAY LIGHT SAVINGS HAS SCREWED UP MY SLEEPING YET AGAIN...NOT THAT I NEED ANY HELP...I WOULR RATHER SLEEP 4 HOURS DURING DAY AND STAY UP ALL NIGHT....WHICH I AM DOING NOW...IS 7 AM AND HAVENT BEEN TO SLEEP YET...BEEN READING AND READING AND READING..FOUND A NEW AUTHOR...MCGARRETY IS LAST NAME..WRITES ABOUT KEVIN KEARNEY A SANTA FE CHEIF...USED TO LIVE IN NEW MEXICO SO ENJOY READING ABOUT ALL THE PLACES I RECOGNIZE...ESPECIALLY ROSWELL...HOME OF THE ORIGINAL ET''S....WELL, GOING TO GO READ ABOUT THE LADY BEARS......''SIC ''EM BEARS.....
I USED TO DREAD GETTING OLDER BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO ALL THE THINS I WANTED TO DO, BUT NOW THAT I AM OLDER I FIND THAT I DONT WANT TO DO THEM.....NANCY ASTOR
EGOTISM IS USUALLY JUST A CASE OF MISTAKEN NONENTITY...BARBARA STANWYCK
IM DEPRESSED..I HAVENT WATCHED A BAYLOR GIRLS GAME SINCE THEY GOT IN THE PLAYOFFS...TODAY I DECEIDED TO WATCH THEM AND THEY ARE DOWN BY 15 POINTS....FUCK ME ...ILL NEVER SMILE AGAIN....
it is a beautiful spring day in ole west by goddess, texas...going to take a ride and find me a field. of bluebonnets and take off all my clothes and run naked thru them...i figure what the hell. im 61 years old and have done everything legal and many unlegal things so whats the worse they can do to me...laugh and throw my naked butt in jail....did that in the 60''s...so that wont be new...the actual worse thing that could happen is someone would take my picture butt naked put it in the local paper and then i would never get laid .....
today there are about 12 garage sales going on in west and i have been to 8 of them...so far i have spent under $5...got 2 cds..one of millisa ethridge''s and one of bonnie rhaitt...$4...cool....well, im history...all ya''ll not in texas today...hope it is a pretty there as it is here....
you see that he is not in the hospital...dont you...cause if your that sick and you go to the hospital they will stick you on life support and he''ll be there for a long time...or could....so he stays at the vatican and if he goes....he goes....no extra help needed and no bunch of people around making his decisions for him......smart guy.....
