.......VITAME VAS NA 32ND WESTFEST.......

Yes, it's that time of year again..The time when the population of my little town of 2,000 goes up to 30,000+..Which means I run to the grocery store, stock up on food, snacks and cat food..Stop by the library and grab up about 10 books, run to the house and hide out till the last drunk is gone, some time around 2am Monday.

I can remember when it was a yafta that I attend.As if they couldn't pull it off with out my being there..Buying $20+ pevo tickets and if they lasted..using them up the next day..Friday was always my favorite time..We would have the street dance..A bunch of czech's would accordion up and play music from about 7pm till 1am..The grocery stores would stay open and sell beer, sandwiches,snacks through a window onto the street..The train would go zipping through the middle of town about 3-5 times a night and we always expected some drunk to wander out onto the tracks and get splattered all over town..It never happened but the city decided that it was too dangerous(there would be 4-5,000 drunks all over the down town area right by the tracks)and moved it to the Westfest grounds..took all the fun and danger out of it for me..After the street dance would be over, we would buy 2-3 cases of beer, pile into some one's truck, van and with me in my little blue jeep, we would drive out into the country and continue drinking, listening to Hank,George,Willie,

Johnny,Waylon,Ernest,Bob,and Merle till 5-6am..then we would take a little nippy nap..go down to the Capital (our watering hole)have us some red beers and start all over again..Ah, yes! The good ole days.The last time I went to Westfest I wasn't drinking and had all four of the granddaughters,3 step-grandsons,and about 3 of their friends..They were at my little one bedroom house from Friday till Sunday am..After each of them and me spending about $40 a piece, eating drinking, taking them on rides, getting faces painted..and then riding the bus back to town and then walking back to the house..they decided they were 'starving to death'..So I cooked hamburgers, french fries,and nachos for all of them..Their parents were supposed to come and get them Sunday at about 6pm..I called them at 7am and said,'come and get them...now'...My ass was wore out..but not as bad as poor ole Nate.He was about to have a nervous break down trying to figure out which kid to protect and which door to guard from danger..I think all of them slept in the king size bed with me and Nate was on top of them..It was tough..but a lot more fun then when I drank all those pevos..

This year we will have all sorts of new stuff at our Westfest.It's great for the kids..The rides are The Orbiter, Super Loops,Fun House,Animal(car seats),Dragon Wagon,Merry Go Round and space ships.Pony rides,a giant tiger slide, a rock climbing wall, miniature car races,obstacle course and the all-time favorite confetti eggs in this area.New this year is the extreme obstacle course along with a power jumper with four trampolines.Leggo station,Coloring Station,and Big Sand Box.Plus lots of pevo for the parents.

We will have our annual Westfest Kolache 5000 Run scheduled for Sunday morning.Antique tractor pull competition scheduled for Saturday,Kolache Baking Contest Sunday and will have a Buchta Division this year..which is terrific as some of these Czech ladies make some killer Buchta's..I like the ones that are fruit filled..Can't eat

them of course...but still like to smell them..ha..

We have Arts and Crafts and will have over 60 artisans and craftsmen from all over the state.Most every thing is handmade...like jewelry,western wear,Tye-died clothing,walking sticks,hand painted wooden crosses,solar lights,toe rings,crystal rosaries, quilts,hand blown glass,candles,hand made bowls,plates, stuffed animals,metal art, etc..just too much to mention.Also have a bus that will drive you to and from Westfest if you live in town.

The music will be Polka Freak Out,Czech and Then Some,Vaneks of West,Ennis Czech Boys,Praha Brothers,Branded Heart,Brave Combo,The Harvesters,Vrazel Polka Band,Das 1st Lustig,Donna Beckham,and Roger Creager.AND THE FOOD...........

Pretzels, grilled chicken,salads, soft ice cream,teas,Dr.Pepper,Baked potatoes,lemonade,Corny dogs,french fries,skunk eggs, Sausage sandwiches,sausage kolaches,sausage,homemade bread,cheesecakes,hamburgers nachos, tamales, tacos,chalupas, burritos,sausage on a stick,corn on a stick,snow cones,cotton candy,BBQ sandwiches,chips, pickles,roasted corn ears,steak on a stick,chicken on a stick,pork-k-bob,turkey legs,hot dogs,beer-bread sausage sandwiches,funnel cakes(the best funnel cakes you have ever ever ever eaten in your entire life),rosettes,Frito pies,coke,kettle corn,pork rinds,pecans,almonds, cashews,spudzillas,fried green tomatoes, fried pickles,fried squash,ice cream floats,strudels,potato pancakes,fresh fruit drinks,gyro pita, Greek sausage on a stick, spanakopita, and pita sausage...

there are more kinds of sausage then you can shake a sausage at..

If you go to the westfest.com site they have a live camera feed from the gates of westfest..over the weekend, you can czech it out and see all the action...

well...other then we got some rain finally and some rednecks beat up a hispanic gentleman for running out on a $200 pool bet..thinks are same ole same ole here..If you ever come to Westfest all you need to know is:"Chci klobasku a zeli(I want sausage and sauerkraut) and "Chci pevo".(I want beer)..and just to make you feel right at home?"Jak se mas?"...How are you..?

sooo...."Dobarou noc"..(good night)

.......THEY MAKE MY HEART BEAT.......

These are my 4 beautiful granddaughters..The first two are Haley who will be 15 in December, and Nicole who will be 21 in December...You know Jenny and Jamie who are 20 and 18..Two sets of sisters...Two from each son..They are the reason why I quit drinking, they are the reason why I get up every morning,why I take care of my health and why I want to live forever..just for them....

.......OLD FARTS.......

There were two articles in the DAM News this morning that I thought were connected.

First one is:

SENIORS:DON'T TAKE AWAY OUT DOUGHNUTS

Patrons of five senior citizens centers in Carmel,N.Y., rebelled when officials wanted to prohibit free doughnuts at the centers over health concerns.The sides are working on a compromise.

No shit!..The local bakeries here donate kolaches to the West Rest Haven and to the Senior Citizens Center over by the library.If they stopped there would be a herd of old farts storming city hall..Don't mess with a old person's doughnuts or kolaches.Life is crappy enough for old farts without you jerking away one of their reasons to get up in the morning.

and the other article was this:

SEX DOESN'T DISAPPEAR IN OLD AGE,STUDY FINDS.

First-of-its-kind research shows interest, frequency strong among those able(stressing on the able...if you can't get it up...you can't get it in)

Many people maintain rich, active sex lives well into their 80's, according to the first detailed examination of sexuality among older Americans.

The normal representative survey of more than 3,000 U.S. adults ages 57 to 85 found that more than half to three-quarters of those questioned remain sexually active, with a significant proportion engaging in frequent and varied sexual behavior.( I for one, find it very hard to get that picture out of my mind..I mean really, does anyone want to see Betty White getting it on with Wilford Brimley?ewwww!)

"There's a popular perception that older people aren't as interested in sex as younger people," said Dr.Stacy Tessler Lindau of the University of Chicago, who led the study being published today in the New England Journal of Medicine."Our study shows that's simply not true. Older people value sexuality as an important part of life."(right up there with doughnuts)

The survey found a close link between sex and health, with healthier people reporting the highest rates of sexual activity.(yeah, who wants to fuck an old person with a leaky heart valve?) In addition to supporting the well-known idea that illness can interfere with sex, that finding suggests that a healthy sex life may help keep people vibrant.(come on honey, lets get your heart a pumping..)

"Individuals who remain sexually active gain

the benefit of the physical exercise that comes with sex," Dr. Lindau said."It's also possible the hormones-the endorphins released by orgasms-give a general sense of well-being that could be beneficial.The psychological benefits of being loved and cared for may also trickle over to physical health."

"This just shows that the light doesn't go out. The flame doesn't go out," said Todd Semla, president of the American Geriatrics Society.

I will be 64 in November..I haven't had sex since 1985...It's not like I set out to not have sex again..I had a complete hysterectomy and had just gotten over a really bad relationship..(fuck you Roger) and just wasn't interested in finding another asshole, which is what I seem to always pick out for me.Plus I was madly in love with Lone Star and having an affair with rum and chipping with Vodka.There wasn't a lot of room in my life for sex or a relationship. Then time passed..I quit drinking and was working..but by then it had been 5-6 years...After that long with out having sex...you just don't just give it up to some local yokel after that long..I had become picky...and was in no hurry to give it up to another asshole..So now after 22 years...I'm waiting out for Antonio Banderas to leave his wife..I'm afraid of hurting him though..he'll have to pass a physical..don't want to be responsible for giving him a heart attack..

SHABOOM.....

This is being brought to you by the tunes of the fifty's...thanks to my new friends in Kinsgland, Texas...Jack and Diane..they are the neighbors that live across the street from Bolish and were so much help to me when I was staying there..Diane loaned me books to read when I read all the books I had brought with me..and told me how to get to the library and came and sat with Bolish so I could get out by myself for a while..which was 2 hours and was a real blessing for me...Jack down loaded all these song for me on 2 disc's...all the great hits from the 50's..just love it...so thanks Jack and Diane for being such great friends...

OK..now to the latest, here in West,by Goddess, Texas....sad to say our graduation party for Jenny was uneventful..we didn't get thrown out..and as Bolish would say..every thing was copacetic..Jenny looked so beautiful..but then so did Jamie..I have 2 outstanding and lovely granddaughters..and Jenny is now a full fledged Dental Assistant..whodathunkit..?..I found out there is a Marshall's here in Waco so we will go and take her shoes back here and not have to send them off to Austin for Lane to exchange them.I got lots of compliments on my new haircut, and weight loss...and Thom teased me about my Baby Phats..But he was more impressed with the fact that I sat next to his very straight laced and religious sister in law and her 2 kids and didn't say fuck...it was such a momentous occasion to him that he called Maryjo and commented on it...jeez..don't say fuck for 3 hours and they want to erect a monument..Maryjo said 'dang Thom, she's 63 years old..she knows when to say fuck and not to say fuck.'...guess Thom didn't know that..He actually came over and mentioned to me that she was very religious and to please not say anything that would freak her out...I looked at him and said..'sorry Thom, you're about 45 minutes to late.'...You will never know how close I came to standing up and saying..'well, I hadn't thought about saying fuck but now that you bring it up....fuck you.'and leaving..but for Jenny's sake I didn't...but it really pissed me off and to be honest..hurt my feelings..but gee..what's new about that?..The good thing is ...Maryjo and I are back on speaking terms..she said she had been bragging about me to her friends..that everyone is now into the eating good for good health and that her mother had been feeding her good stuff long before it was popular..she was taking yogurt, gazpacho and chopped veggies to school in her lunch box when she was in first grade..She is also going to go see about a new part time job..she works two days a week at the union lawyers office and volunteers at the museum and does beautiful flower arrangements.

Her friend has a business in lower Haight and they need someone to work there for 2 days a week for short hours..It's one of those health clinics(?)...where they give acupuncture, Chinese massages, etc..and think sell medicinal marajuana..not sure..ha...Man, don't you just love San Francisco..?...So..so far..me and Mojo are back to being related..and that's grand.

I was at Caritas the other day and found some more albums..for $10 I got:

Carol King--Tapestry

Bruce Springsteen--Born To Run

Bruce Springsteen--Born in the U.S.A.

Pearl Bailey( I love Pearl Bailey)For Adult

Listening

Joan Baez--Joan

Alice Cooper--Special Force

Simon and Garfunkel--Parsley, Sage,Rosemary and Thyme

Frank Sinatra-- This Love of Mine

Jeff Beck Group

Johnny Cash--The Johnny Cash Show

How cool is that?...

Then yesterday I went by Wolf's Bar and snagged Inky as he was getting off work(he has a cleaning company)..and we went to the car wash and hauled my big ass rug out of the back of the truck where it has been for 8 months..Through snow, rain, hail,and heat...figured if it was ok...great..if not..would just toss it..but we spend $5 in quarters and cleaned that sucker right up...It looks like a brand new rug...we brought it home and draped it across the railing by the yard and it was so hot..it dried in about 3 hours..it's 8x8 and fit right in the floor of the living room...from in front of couch to the entrance door..it really looks nice..so slowly but surely I am getting the apt. to look like a home...a couple of more political survey phone calls...and I'll be plum happy..

holy shit.."love me tender" by Elvis is on that first disc...now that's really cool!

To top off my week????? The Cowboys are 2-0 preseason..and by Goddess, they are really looking good..defense is defensing, offense if offensive...and I'm crazy about our coach..He's a Texas boy and is the son of 'Bum Philips',

can't get any better then that...yupper.....

Yellowdog's life is pretty fucking good...

.......AHHHH, LIFE IS GOOD.......

The Goddess must have known I have been a good little Yellowdog and was in need of some good ole harmless FUN. Because this evening right as I was sitting down to eat my sliver of fish, wisp of corn,wafer of tomato and chunk of cucumber....the phone rings...I am thinking to myself..'oh please...let it be some survey...I haven't told anyone to fuck off in days...'...and bless my little chubby ass...it was...but wait...it's a.......political survey..

oh, be still my beating heart...someone wants to ask me political questions.I squeal with delight...'oh please..please please please..ask me what I think of George Bush..go ahead...ask me...I think he's a asshole..'The guy assures me he will get to that question but there are other questions I have to answer before we get to that one...'Do you have a box next to his name that you can check that says asshole?'...'No', he says..'but there is one where the answer is strong disagrees with the way he is handling things....'"Yeah, put me down for that..and then write next to it..she thinks he's a asshole.'...

I don't hear him laughing ...but I can feel it..

I tell him after about 5 minutes of answering questions...(where I said the democrats had no balls, it was no one's fucking business what people did with their body's..and I wish people would worry more about people having no insurance then they did about what people did in their bedroom.....)...are you having fun yet?...I'm having so much fun...this is making my fucking day...'sigh...then after a few more random questions I realized that they were using all the general political questions to get to the heart of the phone call..who was I going to vote for in the Texas Senate race against John Cornyn..and I'm embarrassed to say..the only one of the three I really could place in the political arena was Noriega..and only because of his last name..But I was thinking of the other Noriega..the one sitting in the federal pen..But he read me some information about each one and I said which one I would vote for based on that information..then I found out 2 of them were lawyers...told him I hated lawyers..they rated right below Republicans and thought they were assholes too...oh by the way...did I tell you I thought George Bush was a asshole?....Then when I thought maybe one of them might get my vote..find out he used to be a lobbyist..I hate lobbyist more then I hate lawyers, but not as much as Republicans...and if you want to be on the top of my shit list..be a Republican lobbyist.lobbying for oil, or pharmaceutical companies...and he was for a utility company which was probably Texas Utilities..and them's assholes too...I got to tell him I was a pagan, that I believed in a Goddess, that I had yet to find a man that held my best interest at heart, so why believe in a male God..He asked me if I would blog about or talk about on a website about who to vote for or what ever..said oh, yeah, I had a blog and would post about our little survey...asked him if he wanted the address and he said yes..so when we were through with the survey I gave him my blog address..So if you're out there sweety...it was fun..thanks for the laughs..I would like to know what he thought when I was spilling my guts out to him about abortion,immigration,health care,gay marriages,the war in Iraq,and life in general...Maybe if we're lucky...Kinky will run for the Senate..and bring his cigars...

will leave you with a quote by George Orwell..

Things have reached such a state of affairs that

the first duty of every intelligent person is to pay attention to the obvious.

HOUSTON OIL FIRM AGREES TO $3MILLION FINE

Little Rock, Ark.---A Houston-based oil and gas distribution company agreed Wednesday to pay almost $3 million in penalties for discharging thousands of barrels of jet fuel,gasoline and crude oil into waterways, the Justice Department said.The company, TEPPCO, also agreed to make $1.6 million in improvements to its pipelines..

well wooptee fuck!...Why didn't they take away their deserts also..fuckers...$5.6 million dollars is like a $5 fine to you and me..They make that much a fucking hour...Judas Priest..The Goddess is most displeased..I wouldn't be surprised if they all came down with

warts all over their peni.

CRACKING DOWN ON BUTT CRACK

Effective Sept.15,anyone in Mansfield, La., caught wearing sagging pants that expose his or her underwear will be subject to a fine of up to $150, plus court cost, or face up to 15 days in jail...

'nuff said...

SO MUCH NEWS...SO LITTLE TIME

Where to start?...Start with my diabetes..I switched meds and meters..for anyone who needs to know..True Trac sucks bites and blows...I now use Accu Chek...it works well..I also switched from Avandament which could give me a heart attack but was free(yeah, it's free..but it could kill me...)to Glyburide-Metformin..which cost me about $11...so I opted for the G-M..and boy does it work..it works so well,my sugar dropped down to 45...I was sweating, shaking, trembling,light headed, dizzy...freaked me out..and what is to me..very fucking funny..I used to spend money on drugs that would make me feel like this and thought it was a good thing.Now?....not so good..So went to the Dr and after reading out when the drops were it became clear that my morning and evening readings were good...65's...88's..etc...but when it would drop is between the meals..I need to eat something in between the meals that has enough carbs to keep my numbers up and not let them drop..as having seizures and slipping into a coma is not my idea of a good time..So we think I should either only take a half in the am and a half in the pm..or eat a good carb for my breaks..Dr. told me that a bowl of bluebell rocky road was not his idea of good carbs.but thought it was worth a shot..so will eat fruit exactly half way between eat meal..where I was eating celery or a small salad..I eat hardly any carbs or sugar..and I need to figure out good carbs from bad carbs and not quit taking them all together.sigh*...I know eventually I will get this under control and think I am almost there..but damn..I gained 1 1/2 lbs.fuck..I think it was the baby phats...them's some big ass shoes...yeah..it's the shoes...

OK..enough about me...Are you ready for some Kinky Friedman news?

Looks like since Kinky couldn't make governor of Texas he had to do something to keep himself out of trouble and as you know ..he is never ever seen without his trusty smell stogie..Well, he now makes them..He unfurled his new line of handmade cigars last Wednesday."These are the first non-Cuban cigars that I've smoked in over 25 years," Mr. Friedman said.

And indeed, despite pestering from the press, he never let on during his political campaign where he obtained his supply..(I think Castro has them shipping them to him..and he knows Castro's ready to croak..and he needs to fill the void.

"To get me weaned off of Havanas, they have to be pretty special," Mr. Friedman said of his own brand.

What he learned and used in the campaign has not gone missing. The logo for his new cigar brand was used in his run for governor.And the five lines of cigars in his new venture read like chapter titles in his biography.

There's The Governor(politics), Kinkycristo(comedy;Montecristo is a famous Cuban cigar), Texas Jewboy(name of his back-up band),Utopia(name of his dog rescue ranch) and The Willie(good friend and adviser Willie Nelson).

But always quick with a quip, perhaps Mr. Friedman is just proving that sometimes a Willie

is just a Willie.

Mr. Friedman will be rolling out his new cigars at shops across Texas over the next month and promises to sign cigar boxes while discussing"fine cigars, politics and virtually everything else."..Yupper..that's our Kinky..

You all know that I am a Yellowdog Democrat..which are the radical Dem's in Texas..

there are also Blue Dog Democrats..and for the first time during 110Th Congress, the Blue Dog Coalition-a 47-member grouping of self-described moderate and conservative Democrats-defied House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic leadership on a critical national security issue:Saturday night's vote on the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act(FISA)...

The Bush administration..had been trying since March to persuade Congress to pass legislation clarifying FISA to ensure that warrants would not be required to monitor terrorist phone calls.. The political situation changed dramatically in recent weeks, after U.S. intelligence agencies reported increased "terrorist" chatter suggesting an attack on the United States could occur shortly...Faced with the nightmarish possibility that continued failure to act could facilitate a terrorist strike, the Blue Dogs concluded that Mrs. Pelosis's wrath was the least of their problems when it came to FISA...the Washington Times..

them dumb sonsabitches...every time Bush and his motley crew want a bill passed they run the old terrorist attack on U.S.soil flag up the flag pole and scare the fuck out of everyone...and them fucking Blue Dogs went for it..dumbshits..

I'm so glad I'm a Yellowdog....

SHADY LANE AND AFRICAN DRUM DANCING

Just about the time I think Shady can't do anything that would either stun, amaze or shock me...she does it..and was stunned, amazed and shocked at her when I saw her at her African drum dance class...Where she was, at 61 at least 30 years older then the person closest to her age.Most were in 20's...andshe was right in there..shaking her booty...jumping, clapping, twisting, turning, more jumping...I lost 5 lbs just watching...Ok..let me explain the whole African drum dance thing..Jean Claude Lessou is the instructor that I got to see teach the class..He's from Abidjam, Ivory Coast and has been dancing professionally since he was 15 years old..He has danced all over the world and the United States..Well, he takes a plane most places but dances when he gets there..He does this really cute little monkey scream when he teaches and dances..sort of an African version of the scream Bruce Lee used to make when he fought..

The class is 1 1/2 hour long..The first 15 minutes is just warming up..and when they got through I said,'if I did that you would be on the phone calling 991 right now.'..then they did 15 minutes of a bunch of exercises..I told Shady, 'that I had been in some of those positions before..while having sex and giving birth..and if I had done those exercises they would be giving me CPR right about now.'...Then Jean Claude came in and starting his class...HOLY SHIT!.. They were doing these leaps and twists and turns and jumps and clapping and it was amazing..and there is ole Shady shaking her ass and jumping up and down the dance floor to save her little Yankee soul..it was just terrific.There were 3 guys beating on the African drums and when they changed beats, the dance step changes.And it went on for a fucking hour...I was sweating and out of breath and all I did was sit on my ass and watch...I was so proud of her and so impressed...she has been doing this for 5 fucking years..and has earned herself a nick name..Sugarmomma..if anyone watches THE PROUDS, a TV cartoon, there is a mouthy old lady on there called Sugarmomma...and they call Lane that now.It fits..to a T.I am going to post some pictures..some of Jean Claude and his classes from different places..I like the schmuck that I am forgot to take the camera and didn't get any pictures...but you will get the idea..All I know is I have an entirely different picture of Shady now after watching her prance her Yankee ass up and down that dance floor..sweating and grinning and twitching her ass...She's my hero..

HELL MARY'S ...HELL YES...HELL MARY'S ..HELL YES

The championship is over and the Hell Mary's beat the Hot Rod Honeys...They spanked them...and to show that their team spanked the other team..the Hell Mary's cheerleaders ran over to spank the cheerleaders for the Hot Rod Honeys...who had their skirts lifted and there butts ready to be spanked...I swear..I had so much fun...it was a flat skating rink..with no walls/sides and we were front row by the first curve and ended up with skaters sliding into us on more then one occasion...we were right by the Hell Mary's cheerleaders and they were so funny...in the picture of the Hell Mary's you can see the cheerleaders on the bottom row..the one that is second from the left had patches of the band Kiss sewn on the back of her red/black pleated thigh high skirt..I said to her,'that's cute'...she said, 'that's so they can KISS my ass.'....One of the skaters for the Hell Mary's is Czech and knew all about West..It was a blast..they had two bouts of skaters..Honky Tonk Heartbreakers and Hustlers played one half and then Those Peabody's played(local band) and then Hell Mary's and Hot Rod Honeys played their half...then they had drawings and introduced skaters that were on the all star team...then the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers and Hustlers finished their game and then they announced that all the beer was gone...and then Hell Mary's and Hod Rod Honeys finished their game...I had so much fun...I wore my West t-shirt and my Lime green Baby Phats...superstaaaaar...I bought 2 Hell Mary's t-shirts for the girls and wish now I had bought one for me too..doh!..but can still get them on line..check it on on txrollergirls.com..They had a little program with pictures of all the teams and individual pictures and little quotes from the players..The line up for the Hell Mary's is Apocalippz,Bea Attitude, Bloody Mary,Buckshot Betsy,Bunny Rabid, Derringer, Lady X,Muffin Tumble,Nasty Habit, Ryder Down,Smaximaz, Sparkle Plenty, Tomax,2Face and Q...Hot Rod Honeys have Tinkerbell, Rebellika, Cherry Crush, Miso Fresh,Vicisous Van GoGo,Radioactive, Shank, Texas Penny,Rollin Sweet,Vendetta Vondutch,Dagger Deb,Pixie, Morphine,Lucille Brawl,Melicious and Rice Rocket.

Shady's and my favorite names were..Pussy Velour,Dinahmite,Damn Skippy,Reyna Terror,Choctawesome,Muzl Velosity and

Mary Lou Threaten...

You should check out the website and

see if your state has a team...

there are teams from Arizona, California,Georgia,Louisiana,

Massachusetts,Wisconsin,North Carolina,

Maryland, Connecticut,Michigan,Alabama,

Virginia,Indiana,New York,Missouri,

Minnesota,Nebraska,Arkansas,Ohio,

Pennsylvania,Colorado,Rhode Island,

Washington,Oregon,Nevada,and Illinois.

go out and support your local roller derby

girls...The Championship tickets were $15,

so I don't imagine that the regular

tickets for regular games would be all that

much..I know that I haven't seen so many

gays, lesbians,and transgender people since I

left San Francisco..There were two of the

cutest little boys about 4-6 years old, with

blond hair and bright rosy pink Mohawks.While

we were outside waiting to get in some kid came up and had these little arm bands, so we thought he was selling tickets...nope..he was checking id's and if you didn't show him your id, you couldn't get the band and couldn't buy beer.When he came to us and asked for Lane's id, she just showed it and said nothing..he came to me and I said..."I'm 63 fucking years old."...he said, you still have to show your id..I said, "I'm 63 fucking years old...and I don't drink...".

still had to show my id...Judas Priest..

anyhow..it was a lot of fun..and if they come

to an roller rink close to you..you must go

see them..it's a blast..

HELL MARY'S..HELL YES..HELL MARY'S..HELL YES!!!!

.......YIPPY KI FUCKING YAY.......

Finally...I'm home..I got here Tuesday about 12:30...drove straight through..no stops..except for the Sheriff who stopped me for speeding ...no ticket..no warning..just wanted to see if he could scare the shit out of me and make my day at the same time..followed me while I was going 85 miles an hour for 40 miles..No thingies on top of the car..thought it was just some asshole following me...nope ...a Sheriff...he said you didn't know I was a Sheriff did you?...said 'fuck no, I was going 85 miles an hour...did I ACT like I knew a Sheriff was following me..?...doh!...Pretty funny now..but not at the time..
I came home to the biggest mess you can imagine..every lamp in the house was on the floor..one broke..shredded paper from living room to dining room...toilet paper from bathroom to the bedroom, under and over the bed..phones were disconnected and in the floor..everything that was on a shelf was on the floor...David said it would be like that every day when he came home and he would clean it up and then next day it would be the same...for the entire time I was gone...Little Asshole is no longer Little...he has really grown..and his eyes are the same color as Regan's in the movie the Exorist...yellow/redish
...spooky as hell...When I came in the door...it was like .."oh shit, the wardens back"....
I have so much to talk about I don't know where to start so going to do a post on each event...this is my home coming..went all over town saying my howdy's..everyone wanted to know where the fuck I had been..so had to tell and retell the story again and again..and started each conversation with "look...I got new choos"...I wear my khaki colored converse with my Baylor t-shirts...great match..and wear my Roxy's with my black t-shirt's...haven't wore the other one yet..they are suede and too hot to wear right now..waiting for just the right occasion to wear the lime green baby Phats...even got a purse to go with them..I look like a lime green peacock....It was sooo good to sleep in my own bed last night..and wake up to the sounds of my bedroom being destroyed by Asshole.
Judas Priest..the little fucker is insane...Jenny came over to get the stuff I had bought for her and she tried to pick him up and he bit her and boxed with her on his hind legs for a few minutes..she said "grandma...he's crazy."...no shit..I bought her and Jamie a Hell Mary's t-shirt...since they were the winners and had a Czech girl on the team...got her a pair of pink skeachers, socks, and a pair of high heel shoes you ladies will die for...4 inch ...black with gold spike heel...and leopard skin across the toes....on sale for $50....and a leopard print purse to match..on sale $10...so proud of my self.She freaked fucking out when she saw them...which was the idea...but they are too big..so going to send them to Shady and have her exchange them..we were both just sick that they didn't fit..and they were her size...just too big..trying to get a hold of Jamie so she can come get her stuff...the leopard shoes and purse were her graduation present..so got Jamie some tennie's, socks, and a sexy little black Cammy top...Jenny thought it was funny that I went to a Roller Derby Championship...I've been going 'HELL MARY'S....HELL YES.'.... but more on them in my next post..cause I am going to do a post on the Championship and one on African Drum Dance Classes...which was fucking amazing...wow!...
While I was gone someone broke into the library and stole the money she keeps there..people rent the little
conference room for showers, parties, etc..and she had about $300 and some one broke the door and came in and stole it..Henrietta says she knows who did it..just can't prove it..I told her about the library in Kingsland and how we could do some of the stuff they do and she said, 'we don't have anyone to man them.'...I said...I will...so I am going to the Library Board Meeting Monday...probably piss everyone off as I am going to let them know that we can't keep going like we have with just Henrietta and no help but me...and while she was gone to Washington...they got a cut off notice for the phone and they cut the service...no one on the board takes care of things like that till it is last minute..then get pissed because they didn't know...Dumb Czechs..Let see..what else..?...Deven 's(the kid who down loaded games onto my computer )
team won the district championship but lost in State..but that was pretty good...We had the rodeo and no one got drunk or fell off their horse during the parade..Our new VFW hall is almost complete..Mary had her toe operated on and Margaret so was glad to see me she nearly squeezed the life out of me when she hugged me...Charlotte the manager tried to give me another wild cat..I said,"Fuck You"...
Did I tell you the reason I have money to spend is Lane's mother had her write me a check for what Bolish's SS check would be...?...$781...so now I can get my new glasses, hopefully get my tooth fixed..and my computer..was going to get a new one..but I'm too cheap...my cable is all fucked up and when I called to complain(had called before I left and they were supposed to have fixed it) she got snippy with me..and I said I didn't think they gave a shit and she said "I will disconnect if you swear again."..So I said "bite me " and hung up...I have to get my jabs in when I can..Bought 2 qrts of paint to redo my desk, dresser and hopefully the new book case I am going to build...
anything else?....hmmm..oh yes...Fuck me till they throw me a parade...I'm so glad to be home..and back with my blogger buddies...sigh*....I missed y'all.

.......TEXAS ROLLER GIRLS.......

I was very anxious to get back to my little hamlet of West, by Goddess, Texas..but then Shady Lane emailed me the activities she had planned for Sunday night....watching the Season championship between the Hell Marys and the Hotrod Honeys...Roller Derby y'all..!.Hell yes.

The opening band will be Sasquatch and the Sick-A-Billys..half time band will be a local group called Those Peabodys..also have a DJ who will be spinning platters and his name is Net WT. so how can I go home and miss that?..If you want to check it out you can go to txrollergirls.com

Eat your heart out Nit Wit..I know this is right up your alley..you and Leo...

Plus Monday night is Shady's African Drum Dance classes and I have to check that out..she has been doing it for about 5 years and is pretty damn good and want to meet all these people that I have been hearing about for so long..Plus I want to see if Shady's friend Vincent who let me use the laptop can help me find one for my own..as I really do love this ole lap top..then figure I can spend a couple of hundred bucks and get my computers working and keep one for me, one for each one of the granddaughters..

Speaking of granddaughters..Jenny called ..she has been given the run around from the people that were supposed to make her graduation announcement cards..first they were 3 weeks late..then they show up and they have wrong address on them..she calls ...calm and cool...they promise to overnight the correct ones to her..she gets them the next morning and they have left off her first name...she went Jackiesue on them...the guy was so sorry, said he would give her a discount and she said "I don't want something for nothing...I don't want a discount..I want to pay for what you promised to do..your job..You do your job, send me my cards and stuff your discount..."..or words to that effect..hahah...I rubbed it in on her about my Baby Phats shoes...she was cracking up..her grannie has Baby Phats...got her and Jamie's shoe size and going to see if they have their size and get them a pair...She was very excited about me coming home..She bought a washer/dryer and a black leather couch and love seat from her cousin who is moving for $500 and on the route in delivery the couches fell from the truck..so she is convinced that her grannie will be able to 'sew them right up'....ah, yes, Grannie'Wonder Woman'...!

I don't know when I will have time to post again till after I get back home sweet home...so I may not be back on till Tuesday night or Wed. am...will post if I can...after the Roller Derby Championship...Have a great weekend...

A LITTLE SHIT GOES A LONG WAY

Trust me on this..it seems like all I have
done the past 3 days is clean up shit..
from 2 bathrooms,clothes,sinks,floors,
sheets,
blankets,etc.
I will spare you the details, but when
I got suspicious about the length of time
it was taking him to go to the bathroom,
I found him cleaning his underwear with Listerine and my toothbrush..Then when I
tried to help him, he got snarky with me
and threw both of my pill containers in
the floor, scattering all my pills everywhere..Then he became docile and
let me lead him to the other bath room
where I cleaned him up and got him in his pajamas..I took him to the kitchen and
fed him some seedless watermelon, gave
him his nighttime meds and said ...it's bedtime..and off he went...Now all I can
hope is there will be no more accidents
between now and Saturday. Shady came down
from Austin and we took Bolish to see
Blanche at the nursing home and left him
to see how that went..We were looking for
those phones that have the big buttons for
old folks..nothing in that town...so I
bought some new socks for my new choos,did I tell you I have new choos??? Plus I thought hell, I will get me some new bras...got three(got home none of them fit...fuck)..Man, I have some big ass tits...what a pain in the ass..
Meanwhile back at the nursing home..(where a lady named Joy followed Lane, me and Bolish right into Blanche's room and stood there staring at us for about 5 minutes)spooky!
Bolish was told that he was going to be moving in with Blanche and he didn't want to..said he was perfectly able to take care of his self..When we tried to explain to him that he couldn't, I reminded him that he had fallen the night before in the shower and took me 30 minutes to get him up off the floor..He said he didn't fall and I basically made it up..When he was told he couldn't' stay alone he pointed his head at me and said..she can do it..And I said, no ..I have a home and I want to go back to it..In his mind he is fine..He can't get dressed by himself, fix food for himself,take his meds by his self or walk far with out falling down..but he thinks that is just a fluke and he'll be fine..and after the fall last night and the accidents that keep happening on a regular basis I know that I can't keep doing this..So he is going in Saturday...after we are done I will go back to Austin and stay for a few days..Lane said in case he wants to leave and go back home..but I am going to have to tell her..I can't do it any more..I know I hurt my back trying to get him up off the floor and then to top it off the stupid fucking yippy Skippy dog decided to run off and had to chase him 3 houses down the street and wouldn't come back with me and had to carry his fat ass back and that REALLY hurt my back...When I passed the neighbors house next door (they came out to see who I was screaming "come back here you little sonofabitch" at...I yelled at Louis and June..get out your Funk and Wagner's (???)I am inventing new cuss words..they thought that was very amusing...fucking dog..
So at the end of the day...I have a sore back, a droopy smile,new socks for my new choos(did I tell you I have new choos?)..3 bras that won't cover my gigantic tits and a(if you will excuse the pun) a shitty out look on life..
well...as Evelyn Waugh said:
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them...So I hope you were fucking amused...sigh*