A LITTLE SHIT GOES A LONG WAY

Trust me on this..it seems like all I have
done the past 3 days is clean up shit..
from 2 bathrooms,clothes,sinks,floors,
sheets,
blankets,etc.
I will spare you the details, but when
I got suspicious about the length of time
it was taking him to go to the bathroom,
I found him cleaning his underwear with Listerine and my toothbrush..Then when I
tried to help him, he got snarky with me
and threw both of my pill containers in
the floor, scattering all my pills everywhere..Then he became docile and
let me lead him to the other bath room
where I cleaned him up and got him in his pajamas..I took him to the kitchen and
fed him some seedless watermelon, gave
him his nighttime meds and said ...it's bedtime..and off he went...Now all I can
hope is there will be no more accidents
between now and Saturday. Shady came down
from Austin and we took Bolish to see
Blanche at the nursing home and left him
to see how that went..We were looking for
those phones that have the big buttons for
old folks..nothing in that town...so I
bought some new socks for my new choos,did I tell you I have new choos??? Plus I thought hell, I will get me some new bras...got three(got home none of them fit...fuck)..Man, I have some big ass tits...what a pain in the ass..
Meanwhile back at the nursing home..(where a lady named Joy followed Lane, me and Bolish right into Blanche's room and stood there staring at us for about 5 minutes)spooky!
Bolish was told that he was going to be moving in with Blanche and he didn't want to..said he was perfectly able to take care of his self..When we tried to explain to him that he couldn't, I reminded him that he had fallen the night before in the shower and took me 30 minutes to get him up off the floor..He said he didn't fall and I basically made it up..When he was told he couldn't' stay alone he pointed his head at me and said..she can do it..And I said, no ..I have a home and I want to go back to it..In his mind he is fine..He can't get dressed by himself, fix food for himself,take his meds by his self or walk far with out falling down..but he thinks that is just a fluke and he'll be fine..and after the fall last night and the accidents that keep happening on a regular basis I know that I can't keep doing this..So he is going in Saturday...after we are done I will go back to Austin and stay for a few days..Lane said in case he wants to leave and go back home..but I am going to have to tell her..I can't do it any more..I know I hurt my back trying to get him up off the floor and then to top it off the stupid fucking yippy Skippy dog decided to run off and had to chase him 3 houses down the street and wouldn't come back with me and had to carry his fat ass back and that REALLY hurt my back...When I passed the neighbors house next door (they came out to see who I was screaming "come back here you little sonofabitch" at...I yelled at Louis and June..get out your Funk and Wagner's (???)I am inventing new cuss words..they thought that was very amusing...fucking dog..
So at the end of the day...I have a sore back, a droopy smile,new socks for my new choos(did I tell you I have new choos?)..3 bras that won't cover my gigantic tits and a(if you will excuse the pun) a shitty out look on life..
well...as Evelyn Waugh said:
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them...So I hope you were fucking amused...sigh*