THE OUTLAW CONCERT and its outlaws

Back in the mid 70's Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings and a bunch of other outlaws gave a concert on the Steiner Ranch the xs Ranch...a real ranch, with rodeo stock, rodeo schools and even clown schools. From 620 South there was the 'ranch road' and it was 6 miles of curves, cattle guards, Brahman's of every size, sex and age, cowboys, hippies, and assorted lowlifes. Plus your average everyday folk. At the end of this 6 miles of bumpy road was 'The Lodges' which was ran by the M*****'s by the time I showed up with my brood in tow..It was a nudist place for a while...before my time, and is now one of the most exclusive "Health Spa's" in Texas...But when I lived there with my kids it was just 'The Lodges'...which consisted of about a dozen cabins, a huge outdoor covered patio, boat docks, swimming pool, bar and dining room. I worked there as a cook, waitress, pumper of gas for the boats,and bartender. At one time I actually fried eggs, served a beer, ran out side and pumped $3 worth of gas into a boat and got back to kitchen in time to butter the toast and serve the breakfast. This is fact....I'm a woman...w ...o...m...a...n...lets say it again..
The owners were always working angles to bring in business. They had a riding group that would spend the weekend before the ride and the weekend after the ride at 'the lodges' and Lordy could they drink..Tommy Steiner who ran the xs Ranch also rented the lodges during the winter for the Rodeo school and I did all the cooking for them...He also held the clown school there and I cooked for them too..This is when MOJO got her fear of midgets..as there was a little person that hung out during the clown School and he was a miniture cowboy, boots, hat and belt buckle..he also had a mustache and he was about the same height and size as she was and it just freaked her out..To this day she is terrified of midgets..which is why one of her favorite songs is Little People Got No Rights...
So one summer Willie and Waylon and the boys decided to have a concert...and they made some deal with Tommy Steiner to have it out at the ranch...and like they said in the movies..build it and they will come....so they built a stage and they came...every drunk cowboy and dope smoking hippy came..at the time the rainbow people were following Willie around and they were there along with bikers, hangerons, groupies, drug sellers, drug buyers, and many many drug takers...When B. M**** asked me if we needed to order anything special I said yes, 'lighters and papers'...I forget exactly how many we ordered but we sold all of them ...I worked most of the time and got to meet some of the goofiest people I have ever met...made some friends and pissed off alot of cowboys..Cowboys don't like ladies to call them mutherfuckers....told them I was no lady...get over it...I also made a semi- friend of Vic the Vice President of the Bandido's... for you that don't know ...Bandidos are a biker gang...
I was leaving work one afternoon before the concert and found a wallet laying on the ground..It had over $3,000 in it..I checked the id and it belong to Vic somebody...so I wandered around and found this guy asleep on his bike with some girl drapped over his back...I woke him up and asked him if he was Vic somebody and he said yes, and I said then I guess this is yours..and handed him his billfold. He freaked, he didn't even know it was missing. He was so grateful and wanted to pay me a reward and I said nah. Then I asked him why he was sleeping on his bike and he said they didnt have a place to stay, all the rooms were booked..So I said, my couch makes out into a bed, you two can sleep there. Just no drugs in the house, as I have kids...So he and his girl spent the night and the next day I got to see Willie, Waylon and a bunch of other people but mostly just stood and drooled over Waylon....damn he was sexy....So when it is over Vic finds me and gives me a card...with a bandido with a gun in one hand and a cutlass in the other. Under it, it says BANDIDOS We are the people our parent's warned us about. in the left hand corner it says 'FTW MEMBER' and Vic is signed in pen..and under it is Austin Chapter. and the number 13...there is something in the upper left and right hand corner, but the card has seen better days and I can't make it out...When he handed me the card he said if you are ever in trouble and there is a bandido around hand him this card and say"im not a cunt". he said that bandido's give out the cards all the time to get laid or impress some one, but that if it is signed, that person is personally vouching for you..and it is no small thing...which I quipped, "unlike your dick"...he did not laugh and tried to take the card back...ha...I still have the card but have yet to use it....but when I was in calif. I met another biker and told him the story and showed him my card and said I wouldn't have enough balls to tell a bandido "im not a cunt"...so he gave me his card...which says in the left hand upper corner WBF and in the left hand corner Brother and he signed it Pineapple. In the center it says VIGILANTES GOLDENSTATE with a MC in the center of it...and in the right hand corner it says ......Jackie(she's not a cunt)...so I wouldn't have to say it..
It goes to show you that as much trouble i have been in since the mid 70's I haven't had to use my two get out of a jam cards....