I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Friday, August 11, 2006

ROCKY, BASTARD CHILD OR GHOST????


I have so much news..will do the 1980's post I swear, but there is so much stuff going around ole yellowdog, I don't know if I should shit or go blind..Ok, where to start...Well, first Jenny came over and was just blown away with the dinner I fixed for her and Jason. I will admit by the time they got it and ate it the asparagus looked like old men's dicks..kinda limp..but she said they may have looked weird,but they tasted terrific..and the steaks were perfecto...*takes smalll curtsy*...She also was so excited by all the stuff I had bought for her new apt when ever she decides to move..I found the cutest picnic basket and painted it pink for her and that is what I used for her/Jason's dinner...Found a wicker laundry basket and filled it and another basket will of all the stuff..she was stoked.. Then she gave me my key chain from the vacation..don't know how that tradition got started but I now have 13 key chains...and one key....and then she handed me this...package and I unwrapped it and just burst out laughing...It was a flesh colored mug with a penis for the handle...with South Padre Island on it..haaa I thought that was perfect...most grannies get little plates, or hats with fruit on it, or some run of the mill tourist gift...I get dicks on a mug...Do I have great granddaughters or what?
Now I have update on Jammie...she called me today...and we discussed her 'problems'..we talked for along time...so then I went over and got her and we went and got funky fusion green tea drinks(gag..but I have to quit drinking dr.pepper as the sodium in it makes
my legs cramp up so bad..well, hurts like a motherfucker.)The reason we were driving around is..while on the phone she out of no where says...'Yea, I saw Rocky the other day..man he sure does roam a long way from the house'.......WHAT THE FUCK???? 'You couldn't have seen Rocky ...he's been dead for almost 3 months...'...(she hadn't heard about Rocky's supposedly death)..."Grandma...I know what Rocky looks like..It was Rocky..."..'Describe him to me..'..."He's all white with yellow rings around his tail."WHAT THE FUCK...???? That little chipping asshole...So we went looking for him..and if it is him and I'm not sure that it is...He is a long long way from home...not so much in blocks as it is about5-6 blocks..but it is across one of the main streets in West and it is pretty damn busy and she said she saw him 3 days ago and he was crossing the street...So it is one of three things...It's Rocky...(and if he's not dead, Im going to kill the little bastid...)or it is one of his bastid kids....or it's a ghost....The place where she says she sees him the most is a empty house..so I am going to go there tomorrow and open some cans of cat food and sit in the truck and see what happens...if it is Rocky...well, he is in for an ass kicking..The only thing I can figure out if it is him, is he got chased off by those dogs and got lost..But that has happened to him before and after 2 months ..he came home with rips, tears, one fang tooth gone and his feet were bloody...but Jamie said he looked just fine to her...So if he got run off from home and just decided to make the best of a different situation..well..I will snatch his ass up and take him to Henrietta's son the Vet and have his nuts cut and bring him home and make him a house cat...tie his ass to the fucking desk....But then it could be his ghost too...
Fuckme till I run away from home...

9 comments:

Nit Wit said...

Hey I hope you find him. If he's a ghost turn him loose and let him deal with the dogs. I've never seen a haunted dog before.
So you got them to eat something that looked like limp old mens dicks, and they liked it. You really got them trained.

apositivepessimist said...

naturally you have grrreat grandkids...they have an excellent granny!

ohh JS, maaan I do hope it is him and if it isn’t well his bastid offspring might be bloody nice also.

Donna said...

Ohh I hope it's Rocky...gosh, what a pretty kitty.

Anonymous said...

Your grand daughter is a real beauty. I'm glad you had a nice evening together. The mug sounds funny. I have to admit Ive never seen one with a dick for a handle. you have to post a photo.

john said...

a mug with a dick for a handle . great gift idea . i shd. for one in ebay .maybe someone got tired of suck...i mean sipping her coffee from it .

rocky is just like the boxer . refusing to die . btw. stallone is making rocky iv . that's not rocky 4 but rocky on iv accdng. to chris rock.

Josh said...

I hope it's him!

Man, I bet you can grill a mean steak.

Carina said...

jacjiesue, xxxing my fingers that you get Rocky back - get those orchids removed & he'll stay closer to home...
Old mens green dicks and steak. YEAH!

Carina said...

OK, really, I DO know how to spell. Gah.
Sorry.

Nancy said...

I hope it is Rocky, keep me posted.