EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE FORCES ME TO ADD

to the list of people, who can kiss my ass...The list is now epic length...

I had one of those 'oh fuck' days today....It started out innocently enough...Margaret needed a ride to the Dr.'s...said no problem would be glad to take her...I had the reception room in stitches retelling the story of our first walk...They especially liked the part where I said I knew she had the heart of a 12 year old girl, because I saw her eat it...I was so popular Mrs. Dr. said I need to come back and see the Dr. as my blood sugar is fluctuating to much..that'll teach me to keep my mouth shut..so after 2 1/2 hours at the Dr.'s we scurry back home and we both run to our apts and pee and get ready to go to the Senior Center for lunch..I had especially wanted to go today as they were going to have roasted chicken...I can eat roasted chicken...don't mind paying a buck fifty for roasted chicken...

They didn't have roasted chicken..it was still frozen...so we had turkey casserole...so I spent 20 minutes picking little squares of turkey out of a heaping pile of noodles..I can't eat noodles...but before we get to the eating part, we have to get to the entering the door part...The part where I am checked out, scanned, eyed, looked over and found:"new"...First of all there is some sort of pecking order that I am not familiar with...and that's not counting the seating arrangement..Someone didn't show so I was told it was ok to take her seat...but if she had been there, I would NOT have been allowed to sit in her place...guess who showed up after we were all settled in..yup...she was so miffed that she hollored from 20 feet away:"I see you didn't wait for me."...and went and sat at another table..where everyone gave me dirty looks for taking Wanda's seat...I sat up straight and stuck my tits out as far as I could...(take that you shriveled up old raisin...)I did a head count and there were about 40 people and other than the son of one of the ladies who is 'special'..I was the youngest one there.. think they felt I didn't belong..

So I'm sitting in Wanda's chair, looking around and fuck...there are old fuckers every where. I mean really old fuckers....At my table there was 75 year old Margaret, a lady named Annie who is 91(some one said she was 92 and she snapped at them and said 'no..I"m 91)...and the other lady is 86...I'm fucking 63...I'm an old fart too, but in a completely differnt bracket ..I'm sitting up so straight in the chair my tits are poking up in the air...why am I sitting up so straight...? Because out of those 40 people 30 of them were women and 28 of them were in walkers, or canes and all had humps like Igor..I'm thinking to myself..."What the fuck am I doing here and how fast can I get the fuck out of here?."

Now comes the really scary part...watching old people eat...

oh my Goddess!....No one spoke..once they commenced to set fork to food, it was nothing but the sound of utensils scraping the bottom of strofoam plates..I tried to make polite dinner conversation, and no one even lifted there head from their plate...Margaret kinda nodded, but basically it was chow time and by Goddess they were going to chow down...scrape scrape..slurp slurp...people without teeth, people with loose teeth and old people in general ..make food noises...and have you ever seen old people's hands...? Judas priest..they are like the witch's in Sleeping Beauty...long claws with even longer nails...what's the deal with the long nails...I would be afraid to scratch anything with those nails...pick your nose with one of those fingers and you could poke a hole in your brain..The entire time they ate, there wasn't a word spoken...Now I know what it feels like to be surrounded by zombies...

I'm sitting there thinking 'Oh fuck...oh fuck.....fuckity fuck fuck fuck'....shit..did I say that outloud...? Doesn't matter no one could hear me over the noise of eating and they're all deaf any how...I want you to know that was the longest hour of my life...but for a buck fifty it was a good lesson...I now know what I will be like in another 15 years..that is if I don't go screaming down the street and run in front of a semi...

fuckme till I have a hump on my back...

ANYONE WANT TO DONTATE MONEY TO THE BUSH LIBRARY?

Looks like the only one that is donating money to the George W. Bush Library is.................George W. Bush..
In an article found in my DAM News...it says:
BUSH DONATES $107,440 MORE TO OWN LIBRARY.
'98 governor's race funds push his total above $300,000...by Todd Gillman(Washington Bureau
Washington: Donations to President Bush's planned presidential library are t...r...i...ck...ling in---(my spacing) from George W. Bush himself.
He has cleaned out his 1998 gubernatorial campaign account and sent the last of it to the George W. Bush Library Foundation, a new state campaign filling shows. The $107,440.76 donation, dated DEc. 18, pushed the library's hope chest above $3000,000, all from Mr. Bush and donors from previous campaigns..
(so let me get this straight....................he's been planning the GWB Library since he took office, as that is what all presidents do...and so far they have raised just over $300,000 and it's all his money....Oh happy day...this is hysterical...how funny is that...)
Other donations thta might have come in remain secret.(Who the fuck wants anyone to know that they gave money for a library for a President ..who can't fucking read.)..There is no law requiring presidentail libraries to disclose funding sources, though some gifts do come to light because the donors themselves, in this case, the Governor Bush Committee-are subject to state or federal disclosure laws.
In October, Mr. Bush sent $194,904 left from his 2004 re-election effort. The Bush-Cheney committee reported the donation in early January to the Federal Election Commission.
A search Tuesday of federal records and those filed with the Texas Ethics Commission(what a joke THAT is) showed no other donations to the library...(no doh!)
The site selection committee led by longtime Bush friend Don Evans, has yet to start working to raise money, said spokesman Taylor Griffin. (Yeah, let me see the list they are going to work from...fired, oops, in jail, oops, fired, good job brownie, ooops in jail...)
Southern Methodist University has been the sole finalist for the library since December.(and Baylor University is still pissed..although I am happy as a fat lady with chocolate)
Philanthropy experts and officials at other presidential libraries say donors generally seek recognition. And libraries built by former presidents have voluntarily identified most,, but not all, donors.
"We're at an early stage in a multiyear process, and those decisions will come later," Mr. Griffin said. (yeah, some times between nunyafuckingbusiness and hell freezing over.)"The committee is really focused on the site selection right now and hasn't gotten to the fund-raising part of it."(which has to do with the fact that people are protesting at the site because Bush dosen't want anyone too see his papers...yeah, great library with no presidential papers...and for that matter..no fucking books...oh shit, this is just getting better and better.)
The House of Oversight and Government Reform Committee will hold a hearing this morning(last week) on the lack of mandatory disclosure of donations to presidential libraries..(Hmm...what a great name..the House of Oversight and Government Reform Committee...............where were they when ole George was nominated for President by the Supreme Court and lied his way into the second term?
...fuckity fuck fuck fuck....

Ahh, I love bipping on ole George..he's such a easy target...mabye I'm just in a good mood, because we got rain all night long and are expecting more...I love Texas when it rains...especially in the Spring..when there is always the promise of bluebonnets right around the corner..My little front yard is full of birds feeding from my feeders, and I'm so excited..I have a pair of cardinals...it's not my old pair of cadinals..but they are fat and red and beautiful....
I am still walking with Margaret..every day but Sunday...I don't get out of my BuBu that Shady Lane sent me all day on Sunday...BuBu's are a African dress...with the most beautiful pattern and colors...it comes with a scarf to make one of those lovely turban hats..but since I don't have the puffy afro the African women have..my scarf spends a lot of time on the back of my chair after it slides off my head(this one is sort of like the one I have except mine is dark black with yellow and green and orange.)...Lane gets them at her African Drum Dance classes she takes each week...She is getting better at her solo's and I can't wait to go visit her this summer and see her in action..remember Shady is like 1 1/2 years younger than me..she takes boxing lessons, does (or did) cardio-funk and gave up booze for Lent..so I don't suggest anyone fuck with my Shady lane..she told me in one email she had a lot of pent up anger(she's from New Jersey/New York)and is just itching to kick someone's ass...I have a feeling the next rich yuppy that cuts her off in traffic is going to get a serious bipping...which is actually where I got the term bipping..She showed me the difference between bipping, smacking, slugging, punching and belting ..using my kids when they were younger to do so...I cracked up...Dave, Thom and Mojo weren't all that thrilled with the demonstration..But we have all passed down the bipping ...All I have to do with Jenny and Jamie is say:"Come here."...and they both start laughing and say.."no bipping, no bipping.".
Yup...I'm in such a good mood....fuck me till I giggle..

.......SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.......

Due to assholes beyond my control, I have had to resort to moderator help with keeping my blog free from the Jim troll....I had to go through and delete all of his last comments as they were starting to piss me off and freak me out...he is a very distrubed person and I tried to not let him become a bother, but he was persistent and getting nuttier with each comment...fucker..so until he fades back under the rock where he slithered, I will have to use the thingy to check each comment...fuckity fuck fuck fuck..I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I have managed to get one of them fuckers...Bush lovers are a weird and creepy breed and you can only get rid of them by direct day light or smashing them under your feet..
Sorry folks...but I keep up with my email pretty good so will be able to read each one and then let it be posted...I'm sure he will go away soon..he will seek other people to fuck with since he can't do it here...

On a good note...we are getting rain in Texas...that's a good thing it means bluebonnets are just around the corner..I'm listening to pbs and Jerry (the killer) Lee Lewis is on ....how cool is that...he's older than the back of the Goddess's head and still rocks ....He is every thing rock and roll is supposed to be...gun toting, cousin marrying, pill popping, booze swilling redneck..great balls of fire....

THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS ARE::::::::

Blessings on you my children...I am visiting the yellowdog and enjoying the fine state of Texas's glorious weather...in the 80's...But I will have to bring some rain, yellowdog is jonesing for some bluebonnets..Now..to your questions..
Buddha Girl wants to know if she will get in some fun-trouble on her next weeks inservice. BG I don't know what inservice is, but I do know my Bad Bad Bad Buddha Girl and I'm pretty sure you will find some way to indulge your trouble making side...I don't see a bail bondsman or your being held by the boys in blue..so enjoy...
Scotish Toodler wants to know the one thing that everyone could do to make this a better place..ST..you humans are already standing on the slipperly slope of total distruction and I'm not sure there is much that can be done to correct your mistakes..You humans are selfish. I could think of a hundred different words to discribe you..but selfish is the best one..You don't care about the world you live in or the earth you live on...You have held hands in only one thing and that is to destroy the world around you...But don't give up hope..there is a slim chance that if you each individually treated the world better and the people around you with respect and love....you might make it another 50 years...maybe...
Ms Plane has to much class to sue Libby...but her husband will want revenge of some sort...I think they should wait for the ole' what goes around comes around' to bite them in the ass...cosmic justic is better for your aura than revenge...let me handle them..I play for keeps..
Lauren needs a tactful way to tell a good friend they have dragon breath...Coming to me for tact is pretty funny Lauren...The first thing that comes to my mind is going to him and saying "oh, man.. dragon shit for breakfast..that must suck."..Since you really do need tact..I would say each morning hand them a breath mint...and if they say no thanks..say...'no really, you need this.'...that's as tactful as I can get..
Cheesemeister...ick!..The thought of old folks in thong diapers sent the Goddess to the royal Vomitorium...thanks for THAT visual..
Ruby, Rubyduubie....wants to know if Kim jong il will ever get recognized as the sexiest man of the world...
Holy Odin...yes, he will when he arrives in Hel, which is ruled by the Goddess Hel.)the daughter of Loki)..it's cold cold cold in Hel...not like you humans think...if it was supposed to be hot we would just send you to Texas when you die..But when Kim jong il dies(and a death that is soon to be coming)..he will be recognized as the sex symbol he is...he will be in company with the funny guy Hitler, and the father figure Saddam..Hel has all sorts of ways to make the afterlife interesting ..trust me...everyone gets 'theirs'...
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if the Goddess would have sex with Bush if it meant he would resign...Goddess doesn't like to be crude...but she wouldn't fuck George Bush with someone else's pussy...let them democrats get him to resign...ick, spit, hack..
Jim...the Goddess isn't quite sure what to do with you..as you are on of the most misbegotten human she has encountered...but to answer all of your questions.
1. You have to be forgivable to be forgiven...you fail..
2. You have to be loveable to be loved...you fail..
3. no
4.Teenagers make better sense than you do Jim, grow the fuck up..take responsiblities for your mistakes..you are not a grownup...or an adult..you are a spoilt spitefull little man....

Apos: not in the way he would like....but the Goddess does not lie..does not hold back...and for the record..
a spade to the Goddess is not a spade....it's a fucking shovel...
Go with the Goddess, my children..be kind, be good, love your enemies, even Jim...

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO OUR WORLD??

I have been reading one head line after another and it's like a Stephen King/Dean Koontz horror story...listen up folks...we are a pussy hair away from imploding....Here's some examples..In Dallas, they have a Youth Correction Home that has been in the head lines for about a week. The guards and the people in charge have been sexually assaulting these kids for years, and people that were supposed to be in charge of the people in charge..knew about it and looked the other way...fuckity fuck fuck fuck..
Murder rate increase seen in dozens of cities..The murder rate has jumped by more than 10 percent among dozens of large U.S. cities since 2004, a study shows in the latest sign of the end of a national lull in violent crime.Dallas bucked the homicaide trend with a 24 percent decrease.(Thank the Goddess).Robberies also spiked nationally, as did felony assaults and attacks with guns, according to the report. fuckity fuck fuck fuck...
Man kills dancer, self at topless club in Fort Worth. Double fuck...
Boy 5, wanders from a day care, is hit by truck...The school never called the police until the mother showed up and asked them too...fuckity fuck fuck fuck..
They are killing people by the 100's in Iraq and at least 2-3 a day of our soldiers...Fuck Bush, Fuck Cheney, Fuck em all....
A teenager shot his former girlfriend four times outside her highschool and them killed himself in Midland, Michigan..She is in fair condition...How did this 17 year old get his hands on a gun?....oh yeah, NRA says it's our right to bear arms...fuck them too..
Life in India is so bad for the women that the sex workers are wanting to go legit..Nearly 50,000 sex workers from across India ended a weeklong meeting last Friday with the demand that they be allowed to work legally. Kanti Ganguly, a government minister, said there were no plans to legalize prostitution. But sex workers spokesman Smrajit Jana said, "We believe the policymakers are going to accept sex workers as entertainment workers today or tomorrow."...just how fucking sad is that...I have nothing against prostitutes..but if they had a decent job that would allot them to live a healthy life, they wouldn't have to resort to fucking fat guys to feed their families..fuckity fuck fuck fuck...
In Bridgeport, Conn police said a man repeatedly stabbed his teenage wife, then gave the knife to his toddler son and told him:"Now you stab Mommy."..Fermin Rodriguez,21, aattacked his wife Sunday night after accusing her of cheating on him. The boy didn't stab his mother...
In Erie, Pa, a woman pleaded guilty to swinging her 4-week-old son, like a bat to hit her boyfriend during a fight, fracturing the infant's skull in the process.Chytoria Graham, 27, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and endangering the welfare of a child under a plea agreement with prosecutors...Well, fuckme sideways...they should charge her with attempted murder the sleezy bitch...fuckfuckfuck...fuckity...
Then ...then...fuck this makes me insane..then some raving asshole from Bedford, Ind, crashes his airplane into his ex-mother-in-law's house with his 8 year old daughter in the plane with him...Told his wife:"I've got her, and you're not going to get her."....the last thing the mother heard from her daughter was her crying:"Mommy, come get me, come get me."....there is a special place in hell for this sonofabitch...there has to be...What kind of monster would do this?....argh!


Well, I don't want to completely bum you out..so I will close with some good news..especially for Sooner and Tex....

HEY FRIDGE, CAN YOU TOSS ME A COLD BEER?
Raleigh, N. Carolina...When John Cornwell graduated from Duke University last May, he landed a job as software engineer in Atlanta but soon found himself longing for his college lifestyle...(sound familiar you two?)
So he built a contraption to help remind him of campus life:a refrigerator that can toss him a beer.
"I conceived it right after I got out," he said."I missed the college scene. It embodies the college spirit that I didn't want to let go of."(that and the fact he's probably an ole booze hound)
It took him about 150 hours and $400 in parts to modify a mini-fridge common to many college dorm rooms into the beer-tossing machine, which can launch 10 cans of beer before needing a reload.(Figure by then you would have to get up and take a piss and can use that time to reload.....if you will pardon the pun.)
With a click of a remote control fashioned from a car's keyless entry device, a small elevator inside the fridge lifts a can through a hole and loads it into a catapult arm. A second click fires the device, tossing the beer up to 20 feet--"far enought to get to the couch."(beware ...flying beer...'INCOMING'..)
During the development stage, Mr. Cromwell said he dented a few walls and came close to accidentally throwing a can through his television. He's since fine-tuned it.
Is there foam explosion when the can is opened? Not if the recipitent uses "soft hands" to cradle it when caught, Mr. Cornwell said.
A video featuring the device is a site on the Internet, where more than 6000,000 people have watched it at metacafe.com, earning Mr. Cornwell more than (well fuck...I tore this out of the paper and that part is gone, fuck..sorry..anyhow you can check it out for yourself.)
Mr. Cornwell, 22, said he has talked to a brewing company about the machine, but right now only one exists. Asked if he might start building some for sale, he said:"I'm keeping that option open, depending on interest."
Robert Kielb, who teaches mechanical engineering at Duke, recalled when Mr. Cornwell,participated in robic basketball contests, in which students tried to build a robot that could retrieve a pingpong ball and toss it into a small hoop.
"He always did well in it," Dr.Keilb said. "He came up with completely unique ideas."..

I am picturing Sooner and Tex pooling their money so they can invest in this guy and his little beer tossing baby.....Maybe life doesn't suck after all....

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

Greetings humans, the Goddess awaits....What question do you have for me this week? Do you want to know if you will win the lottery, find true happiness, get a better job, or meet the perfect someone..? fuckifIknow!But I will do my best to help you find your way along life's winding path...My answers may not please you, but your questions amuse me...as do you all, you silly silly human beings...Goddess blessings on you my children...

NANA NANA BOO BOO..................

Stick your head in doo doo...I won an award ...how cool is that..? It's called the Thinking Blogger Award.It is given to blogs that make you think...as in hmmmmm what the fuck?...Well, maybe not exactly like that..but that's my story and I'm sticking to it...
This award was bestowed on me by Sue From Sue Darroch and Mathew Didier's Paranormal Blog. Now I have to turn around and nominate 5 blogs for the same award...but first..the rules...yasta have rules..
1. If, and only if,you get nominated, write a post with links to the 5 blogs that make you think...
2. Link to this post so that people can find the exact orgin of the meme.(I still don't know what a fucking meme is.)
3.Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award" with a link to the post that you wrote, here is a silver version and a gold version.
Ok, now this was the hard part..picking 5 and only 5 out of my most excellent blog roll...you are all wonderful in your own special way, but the award is for making me think, not necessarily laugh or even enjoy above all others.. Here goes:
1. Kevin my Brite Yeller Gun...Who continues to make me think about friends, family, love, and the fact that same sex marriages are a wonderful thing for some very lucky kids..
2. Babs...yeah, my great friend Babs, who makes me understand the pain and weirdness of mental health..She suffers but still manages to make me laugh while doing so..she rocks my world..
3. Nit Wit, who sends me to the library to check out books he has recommended, and speaks from the heart about so many things..I have professed more than once that I love him, but for some reason he continues to stay put in Ohio and not run to Texas to be by my side..sigh*
4. Ruby Rocks, the proud loving father of a slightly disturbed Pittybull dog..He is another one that sends me chasing after books that he has read and if he read them..by Goddess so should I..
5. Sooner...what can I say about my udder son Sooner. He is warped, twisted, slightly crazy and an Okie...what more could you ask for..
Ok...they said only 5..but I'm sorry I have one more..
6. Apos...who wows me from Australia..soon to be an American citizen, only to discover that George W. Bush's administration has put a stop on the importing of vegamite..
So there they are 6 of the finest bloggers in the whole fucking world..It's still my story and I'm still sticking to it...
fuckme till I think...actually I don't like to think...It gives me a headache...

.......IT ALL STARTED WITH A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.......

Last Wednesday I got up early as the management had arranged for our apartments to be sprayed for piss ants...For those of you who don't know what piss ants are...good for you, cause they are some pain in the ass little fuckers...Tiny wee fuckers and love to swarm over opened cans of cat food and assorted other treats..So I'm up and there's a knock at the door...think aha...the bug people...nope..it's the lady next door Claudette..She says:"You want to go to Caritas?"...I'm thinking ok(Caritas is a used store that is like Salvation Army) I have nothing to do but hang around and watch them kill bugs...so I kiss the cat, grab my purse and I'm off...We're going to go in her car...some where in the back of my pea brain is a little voice saying:"Hey stupid, isn't she the one that wrecked 2 cars?".....My other little voice is saying:"Shaddap...we're only going to Caritas here in West...how dangerous can it be?"....We get into her car and she starts it and it dies, she starts it and it dies, she starts it and it ...well, you get the picture..finally she starts it, guns the engine so loud and long people were coming out on their porch to see what the fuck was going on...I am still thinking...we're only going 2 miles..we're only going 2 miles...
She immediately starts a process of driving which consists of a lot of jerking the wheel and sudden bursts of speed followed by slamming on the brakes...my mantra is now 2miles up..2 miles back...She drives to the Czech stop and fills up the gas tank...hmmm....we're only going 4 miles round trip..right?...Then she whips the car in the frontage road lane and heads for I-35...........oh fuck!....I say:"UH....I thought we were going to Caritas." she whips the wheel back pulling us out of the path of a semi.."Oh, we're going to the one on 5th and Mary...in Waco...(after much wheel jerking, speeds up to 80 miles an hour, most of which was done in the on coming lane, she remembers that it is 15th and Mary and we are fucking lost.)I finally get us to the right place as I used to deliver Jones-Blair Paint down in that area..On the ride to Waco (where I have both my feet mashed on the floor board and a double hand death grip on the seat belt)..she tells me that Caritas has a store where if you are illegible you can get food, clothes, house wear, etc. for free..I'm thinking they better be giving me porter house and a fine fucking Bordeaux for this trip from hell...We get there at 9:30am......we got out of there at 4fuckingpm...I got a frozen chicken, canned vegetables, soups, shampoos, soap, toilet paper, beans rice, noodles, peanut butter, jelly, a huge sack full of home made bread, butter, 6 ears of corn on the cob, a plastic bag the size of a suitcase full of smashed frozen onions, a canned boned chicken, and a package of kotex. 7 and one half fucking hours in a room with 80 people( I was 66)...and each one of those people had 3 kids hanging on to them and screaming at the top of their lungs...When will parents learn that standing across the room screaming "if you don't stop that I'm going to slap the shit out of you"...to your kid will not actually make them ...'Stop that'...I was torn between actually smacking the kid and smacking the parent..Well, I know that this is a great program for families with kids and I am glad that they have it, but in the parking lot were beamers, suv's, Lexus's, and shinny new trucks...also several people were selling their groceries for cash...I will fight Annie tooth and nail for her cans of Friskies before I go back there...fuck me till I say "next".....
The only good thing about the entire day was we were both hungry when we got out of there and we went to Sonic and I got a corn dog, small ff, and small Dr.Pepper...It may have been the best thing I have ever eaten in my entire fucking life...When I opened up my little sack with my corn dog and saw there was no mustard...I snapped...I jacked that window down, stuck my head out and roared:"Hey, lady...I didn't get any mustard with my corn dog."....Three car-hops were right there with my mustard... I spread it on the little paper envelope it came it and ate the whole thing, paper, corn dog stick and all...I licked the paper bag it came in..I saved the ff for when I got home...but I stuck my nose in the little carton it came in and alternated between smelling the ff's and sucking on the cubes of ice to get all of the flavor of Dr.Pepper that I could..Which kept me from freaking out that Claudette drove in the wrong lane almost all the way home..

Tuesday when I had worked at the library for Henrietta I got out at 7pm and didn't feel like cooking dinner, so thought I would go to the old bar where I used to hang out as it is not a bar and they make BBQ and is supposed to be terrific...So I pulled into the parking lot and went through some major flash backs..this being the place where I spent a good percentage of my time sucking down beers and making my own drinks with my BYOB of Rum, Whiskey, Vodka and the occasional bottle of Tequila....I remember waking up in my little blue jeep and was confused..got out of the jeep and went inside and asked Jerry the owner:"How long as it been since I was here last(we would bar hop all over town)? and she said about 2 hours...why? I said:"Cause I woke up in the jeep from where I had passed out and didn't know if I was coming....or going.."
So you can see I wasn't thrilled about being there, but most food places were closed and that BBQ smelled so good..In I go...and I wasn't 3 feet inside the door and people were yelling and screaming and laughing and OH MY God, HOLY Shit and I DON'T BELIEVE IT... fuck..I thought it would be a new crowd..but it was the same old bunch of drunks...Patsy who works at the Community Grocery was there with another old drinking buddy girlfriend..So I had a Dr. Pepper and a bbq sandwich and let them talk me into coming back this past Friday for ladies night...Only on the condition that I don't have to be a lady I says....which really made them laugh..
Saturday at 7pm I made my grand entrance...to the X-CAPITAL, X-STRICKY COUNTRY, -THE DEPOT AND Currently now:JACK AND DIANE'S BBQ..Wearing my old Stricky Country T-Shirt ...the said t-shirt being 20plus years old, I wasn't going for style...It was pretty much like I had stepped into a time warp....Dingy Debbie was there, JD was there(he was 10 the last time I saw him), Patsy, Gary the Budweiser Driver, Santiago the pool player, Pat the painter, brother of old friend, and many many more..Mostly new faces as I think the rest croaked..David is gone, Tennis Shoe is gone, Agnes is gone, Tommy is gone, Red is gone, lot of them gone...But the only two that are still here and not drinking ..are me and Santiago...I don't want to say that I didn't have a good time...but ..........I didn't have a good time...I played pool and considering that I haven't played serious pool in 15 years..I did ok...I racked more than I broke, but I didn't embarrass myself...but by 11:30 I was more than ready to go home...the smoke was killing me, the inane drunk conversations were boring me to fucking tears...Plus Gary kept trying to get me into the back of the Bud truck..I finally told him, Gary, if I wouldn't fuck you when I was drinking..what makes you think I will fuck you if I'm sober??? He just grinned that hey I'm drunk and ain't I cute grin that men think will get them out of a head slap..It didn't bother me hanging around them while they drank and I was not..what bothered me is that at one time I thought this was the best time ever...or not so much that it was a good time as it was what I did and what I knew...The only good part of the night was 2 different people wanted to know what I was doing in the retirement apts as I am not old enough...I said I'm 63..I'm more than old enough..both though I was in late 40's or early 50's...a sure sign that they need to cut back on the beer...I also had some kid (19-20) ask me if I wanted some dip..and I said "NO thanks, I just had a bar of soap."....he looked at me and said, "what does that mean?" and I said"it means I have already had something nasty in my mouth so I don't need any dip."...he thought that was hysterical and went around and was telling everyone what I said.. At least that Jackie story didn't have me drunk and saying fuck a lot..


So that was my adventure for the week...that's not even counting the attack of Annie against a black bird and it got lose in the house and I had bird, bird feathers and a wild pussy racing through the house...oh...and I won some kind of thinking blog award..me and cyberoutlaw and 3 other blogs...how cool is that...I will post about it Monday or Tuesday...Cause I'm kinda proud of it...
Fuckme till I dip...

.......AND THE ANSWER IS:

Welcome my children of planet earth...I have spent these past two days mulling over your questions in hopes that I will not fail you and give you the answers you seek...But if I do fall short and don't deliver as you expected....fuck thee.....It's not like you're paying to get this information...

I will start right out with my good friend Nit Wit....He wonders if he will get something special for being first...Yes, you will...Sometime during the upcoming week, something terrific is going to happen in your life and when it does..you'll know it was my work....wait and see...

Junebugg: I have studied your charts and you have a very very interesting year coming up....Lots of anxiety over the romance in your life...I think you could go along as things are right now but at some point you are going to have to make a decision, one that will make you take a choice between letting things go as they have been..or taking a giant step and going for change..It means you will have to do something for you, no matter what the consequences to others...You may have to be selfish...There are lots and lots of ups and downs this coming year...but you will come out on top as you are a survivor and nothing will get you down for long...You will find your true soul mate where you least expect it...other than that? Stay away from fatty foods..

Ruby wants to know if Barry Bonds knowing took steroids and should there be an asterisk next to his name in the record books..
This one is so easy........Of course he knew...you think that he could be taking multi-vitamin's, get bulked up that big and think 'Damn, those vitamins really do work?'..puleeeese..You humans are so gullible, to believe that crock of honey and there should not only be an asterisk next to his name there should be a star, a check mark, an X, and a WTF along with a frowny face...
(Goddess is laughing very hard...)
Jan, the Goddess thinks you are dangerously close to getting a cosmic bip...The Goddess's carpet matches her drapes...Goddess's have no need for Clairol...(but if she did have a need for such a thing, I'm sure the color would be 'strawberry blond)..
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if Bush and Cheney are Texans..don't get the Yellowdog all riled up...She's off kicking furniture and throwing things at the moving picture box because of something those two did...But she assures me that they are not Texans...the Bush thing(can't call them human as they have no humane qualities) was born in New Haven, Conn. and the Cheney thing was born in Lincoln, Nebraska...I personally think there is a great Texas expression that fits those creatures..'as human's they ain't fit to tote slop to pigs.'
Tex: Tell Bob:"arf, wolf, wolf, bark, snort, sniff, snarl, wolf wolf...bark."....What that means is:'if Daddy can't get any, you can't either.'
Cheesemeister: ah, the human system called banking...Goddess's have no need for banks...so I think you're better off keeping it under the floor in the stable where you keep your livestock...But if that doesn't work for you, I suggest that you take your money out of the large bank, find a nice small town bank like West Bank & Trust and let them take care of your money..The more customers a bank has the less personal they are ...They really don't care...really...they just don't care....
Old Broad: If the under world creature should get impeached, I not only think you should moon the world and post it on your blog, I will organize a world mooning...every person will be compelled to drop trow and present the moon....It could happen..
Carina: You already told us how great Cooper did...but I knew he would win. If he didn't win it would be because the fix was in with the judges...
Apos: Oh no! There will be no plane crashes for you on your 'coming to American' ride...you are precious cargo to the Goddess and the Yellowdog.. If you feel some sudden drops and a little shaking, it's the Goddess letting you know you are in safe hands..
Beany, you and I both know that Apos is not going to be changing her ways...so forget the Tim-Tam...that's a no brainer..
Josh...It is so sad what you humans do to each other...besides the wars, the starvation, the lack of caring for your fellow man, the way you obsess over these empty shells ...If you humans
led a better life and spent your time giving of your selves to each other, you wouldn't care what those poor pathetic humans did...
Basically the Goddess is telling earth people...'get a life and live it by doing good.'.
Allan, if it hurts when you pee...well, I think you've had unprotected sex with a skany 'ho and there's a good chance you're dick is going to drop off..

The Goddess is very concerned with the behavior of Jim....Jim seems to think that he can be mean, cruel, insensitive, and hurtful and not have to pay any consequences as he excuses his behavior by saying it's just his sense of humor...That won't work with the Goddess Jim...Hitler made his Generals laugh but it didn't excuse killing 6 million Jewish humans...There is no excuse for what you do Jim...and you will find out that continuing to do this will only bring pain and sadness to you...In time you will be a sad, lonely bitter old man..wondering why no one loves you....The Goddess may still love you then Jim, but you will be born again when you die as a woman who will be abused and beaten down her entire life, then you will see what hurt you have brought...

The Goddess..............has left the building...

.......ASK THE GODDESS.......

Blessing on you my children...I am here once again to answer each and every one of your questions..I hope that you all are learning to live in peace and harmony..if not I hope your side wins...

......HENRIETTA AND DAM NEWS.......

This happened about a month ago, when Nancy Pelosi became head of da house...I was at the library and commIted to Henrietta (who is a Catholic, prude, republican) about I wish they would impeach Bush and Cheney(sometimes I say shit like this just to watch that one eye of hers twitch and her mouth jerk sideways..She was horrified. She said 'No, then that Nancy woman would be president."..I said 'What would be wrong with that?'...she said she would try to make everyone like the rest of them in San Francisco....homosexuals.'(I swear to the Goddess I am not making this up.) Shaking my head, I said 'Henrietta, no one can make you homosexual, besides I don't have any problems with homosexuals, I don't even think about their sex life.....No more than I think about you and George having sex, I don't think about other people having sex'...longgggggggggggg pause...."Do you think about homosexuals having sex all the time Henrietta?...do you think about people having sex at all? I don't meet someone and think, gee I wonder how he and his wife have sex, does she get on top or does he make her bend over...?" Holy shit!......
I thought she was going to dislocate her jaw and twitch to death...She snapped her mouth shut so fast and tight I'm surprised he didn't chip her teeth...since then we haven't had any more conversations on homosexuals...Dangit!
Ok, the DAM News....Last Wed. Patients, doctors and advocates gathered in Austin to encourage the Legislature to pass a bill allowing a medical defense to marijuana possession charges..
Yeah, this will happen when Henrietta holds a wine and smokes party for Gays and Lesbians.

'Toke Toke Toke that Cigarette...'

This is a quote from the Points section in the Sunday paper..
"I will not be part of any church that unleashes its clergy to preach that particular individuals or faith groups are damned."---Don Larsen, former Pentecostal pastor and ex-U.S. Army chaplain, who converted to Wicca after witnessing religious strife in Iraq.
Yes, lets hear it for the Wicca's and Pagans...

Report:Infant mortality rate at a 10-year high..
The infant mortality rate in Dallas County is the highest it's been in 10 years.Experts attribute the rise in infant mortality to several factors, including barriers to prenatal care and health insurance. The leading causes of infant death are premature birth(55%), congenital abnormalities(23%), infections(6%) and sudden infant death syndrome (5%). The report also found that significant racial disparities exist. In 2004, 49% of the infants who died were Hispanic, 35% were black and 11% were white.
I wonder of that 49% Hispanic babies how many were born of illegal parents?...But since they can't ask that question of them,we won't know..and can someone please tell me where Hispain is????


This may be the weirdest thing I read this week...
QUESTIONS SWIRL AROUND GREEN MOUNTAIN IN CHINA...
Shanghai,China--Villagers in Fumin County are wondering why a barren mountainside was painted green. Workers who began spraying Laoshou Mountain last August said they were doing so on orders of the county government but were not told why, media reports said...A woman who answered the phone at the county forestry department but refused to give her name said, "This is an order from above. You should ask the leader from above.".....(They would ask him but he is too busy building toy bombs)

COIN SUGGESTS CLEOPATRA WAS NO LOOKER.
London--Maybe Mark Antony loved Cleopatra for her mind. That's the conclusion being drawn by academics at the University Of Newcastle from a Roman denarius coin that depicts the Egyptian queen as a sharp-nosed and thin-lipped with a protruding chin.When we think of Cleopatra we think of Elizabeth Taylor's Cleo, but she looked more like this...

She is butt ugly..So I figure she either was brilliant or gave great head...or possibly both...I like the idea that she is butt ugly...Butt ugly and still did some serious damage to the Roman Empire..Sort of a Egyptian version of Ugly Betty..

Remember back when I said I was confused why Good Hair Perry was endorsing a bill to make it mandatory for all girls under the age of 18 to have the HPV shot..??????? It's all coming perfectly clear now...MONEY...THE GREEN STUFF...LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF GREEN STUFF..
Gov. Rick(Good Hair)Perry's chief of staff met with key aides about the HPV vaccine the same day its manufacturer (Merck & Co.) donated to his campaign...Chief of Staff Deirdre Delisi's calendar shows she met with the governor's budget director and three members of his office for an "HPV Vaccine for Children Briefing" on Oct. 16th.
That day, New Jersey-based Merck & Co.'s political action committee donated $5,000 to Perry, $2,500 to comptroller candidate Susan Combs and $2,000 to four state lawmakers.(This is the money we know about, this doesn't count the under the table money I am sure was passed..) The calendar and other documents obtained by the AP show Mr. Good Hair's office began meeting with Merck lobbyists about the vaccine as early as mid-August, months before social conservatives-who are now those most outraged by the order-helped re-elect him in November.
Good Hair spokesman Robert Black said the timing of the meeting and the donation was a coincidence.(Yeah, fucking right.)The order the governor issued this month directed the Texas Health and Human Services to adopt rules requiring the shots for girls entering sixth grade as of September, 2008...
That fucker...it's always about money with them fucking republicans..I wonder how all those conservatives feel about re-electing him now?....Reminds me of the story about the rabbit and the snake both needing to cross the river...I'm sure you all know it...moral of the story...don't be surprised when you get bit by a snake no matter what he tells you..that's what snakes do...

This was not so much funny as sad...A couple of weeks ago a man was found dead and mummified in front of his TV after a year...The TV was still going ...No one checked on him...no one cared...that is just fucking sad...I would probably be found before I became a mummy, but not before Annie had dined on me...

THE HIGHER POWER OF LUCKY...
Have ya'll heard about the shit hitting the fan over this kids book?..
On the first page of the book The Higher Power of Lucky, by Susan Patron, this year's winner of the Newberry Medal, the most prestigious award in children's literature.The book's heroine, a scrappy 10-year-old orphaned Lucky Trimble, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.
"Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much," the book continues. "It sounded medical and secret, but also important."...Librarians all over the country are having shit fits...saying it was a 'Howard Stern-type shock treatment just to see how far they could push the envelope..
It has been banned from Libraries in the South,the West and the Northeast. The book is written for children 9-12 but that some librarians countered that since the heroine is 10, children older than that would not be interested in reading it...(not before maybe, but I bet you a Dublin Dr. Pepper they will be flocking to the Library to read it now.)One teacher who is pushing the banning said that she has heard from dozens of librarians who agree with her stance. "I don't want to start an issue about censorship,"she said."But you won't find men's genitalia in quality literature."
"At least not for children," she said...

Oh for fuck's sake..get a life you old hens...
I am going to work at the library Tuesday and Saturday for Henrietta...I think I will ask her to get the book for the library..I'll say one thing for ole H...nothing gets her riled up more than censorship and people telling her to pull some book off her shelf..(well, other than me and my conversations about homosexuals)...she'll buy a copy full price just to piss them off...
(PS.......Wrote this yesterday to post today..worked at the library and was looking at new books that need to be cataloged and put out..guess what I found???? yup..."The Higher Power Of Lucky.'...Henrietta had already bought it...that's my gal...)

OK, that's all the news that's fit to print...
fuckme till I'm censored..

..............HOT L BALTIMORE..............

Does anyone remember this show?...It was on ABC on Friday night from 9-9:30 from January 1975-June 1975....It was and still remains one of my very favorite sit-coms. It was very controversial at the time and it originally was an award winning Broadway play...Norman Lear adapted it for TV and even though it was terrific, it was buried on a Friday night at 9pm and it just didn't make it..I absolutely fucking loved it...It broke my heart when they took it off..
It took place in the lobby of a seedy hotel. The E had burnt out of the Hotel...giving you an idea right off that it wasn't exactly the Ritz...So it was the Hot l Baltimore...It stared James Cromwell(of Babe fame and now Jack Baurer's bad Daddy on 24)...along with Conchata Farrell, who is giving Charlie Sheen hell on 2 1/2 Men as the housekeeper..
It brought sexual innuendo and racy dialogue to television.Among the cast were the desk clerk Bill Lewis and his love April Green.Bill was played by James Cromwell and April Green was played by Conchata Ferrell.There is nothing I love better than to here Conchata Ferrell laugh...Clifford Ainsley(Richard Masur)was the harried manager, Charles Bingham(Al Freeman, Jr.) was the philosopher, Suzy Marta Rocket(Jeannie Linero) was the Colombian prostitute, Millie(Gloria Le Roy)the unemployed waitress, Jackie(Robin Wilson) was the tomboy,Mr. Morse(Stan Gottlieb) the septugenarian who was always on the verge of dying....George and Gordan(Lee Bergere and Henry Calvert) played the homosexual couple, and last but not least Mrs. Bellotti played by Charlotte Rae, who had a 26-year old prankster son Moose who never appeared on screen.Moose delighted in such escapades as buttering the hallway, staging the Poseidon Adventure in the bathtub and collecting unlikely pets, like beavers..Once when the tenants protested a rent increase, Moose glued himself to the ceiling of his room in sympathy..
Richard Masur's character Clifford was always being harassed by his mother, and I swear one time I heard him say "mother can get fucked.'....maybe not..maybe he said another word that was soooo similar that you couldn't tell the difference..I have always wanted to write Norman Lear and ask him what he said.
The goings on with Mrs. Bellotti and Moose was hysterical..I remember her screaming into a walkie-talkie from the lobby to his bedroom:'Blue leader to red dog, over.. Blue leader to red dog.'...One bit that really sticks in my mind is when someone offhandedly asked what the capital of Alaska was...and Suzy Marta Rocket the Columbian prostitute says 'Whoneau!...Whoneau!...(the capital of Alaska is Juneau)and someone said :'it's Anchorage, isn't it!' and Suzy's screaming 'Whoneau, Whoneau,'..someone else says 'No, I think it's Fairbanks.'...Suzy's still yelling 'Whoneau'...finally April looks at her and says"Who cares."....It still makes me laugh..
I wish they would put it out on DVD...If you never got to see it, you really missed a great TV show...I'm not for sure, but think it was the first TV that featured gays...
This was my little trip down TV's past...