TYPICAL DAY IN THE LIFE OF JACKIESUE

7:30am...wake up to the sound of Annie trying to rip the blinds off the window..throw house slipper at her...she doesn't even move as she knows at this time of morning I have trouble hitting my large ass with both hands so I'm sure to miss her with a slipper.grab my book and glasses, find one slipper, can't find the one I tossed at Annie..ah, there it is..behind dresser.Go to bathroom, pee, brush teeth, look at myself in the mirror and say'beat death again didn't ya jac?'giggle and go to kitchen...put kettle on for tea, water in a pan, pour orange juice. Add oatmeal to water, get out peanut butter, jelly...make tea, add pb and sugarless jelly to cooked oatmeal...feed Annie..go get paper..let Annie out, feed birds...come back to kitchen take tea, juice oatmeal to chair..turn on tv ..check blood,take meds and vitamins, eat breakfast..read paper, do cross word puzzles..(3 of them)..scream at tv about Bush's latest fuckup's...secretly laughing cause it just goes to show ya...I was fucking right..all along...nana nana boo boo..I love being right...even if it means we are fucked..
take dishes to kitchen..think about washing them..say fuckit...go turn on computer...read emails, answer emails..see what babs is up too..make fun of her eye...arrrr...yell at tv because Rachel Ray's voice makes me cringe..read some blogs..comment..change channel so I can scream at the bitches and ho's on the views(hey..I don't have a job that they can fire me from...so stick that in your ass you politically correct assholes)...'one at a time you bitches..and elizabeth..just shut the fuck up..you ignorant dipshit...judas priest..does she drink from the 'stupid fountain?'...go pee..start reading my book on King Arthur,and get ready for my soaps...ahh, the Young and the Restless...scream at tv...'Victor you pig, let Nicky run for senator..so what she was a stripper and has no experience...since when did that matter...?'...giggle and laugh when Victoria and Sharon fall off the cliff during a photo shoot...throw converse at tv when Sharon is rescued..oh well, at least that screaching bitch Victoria is gone...fix something bland, boring but good for me for lunch...go to bedroom and get dressed for my walk...Turn on Days of Our Lives, which takes 5 minutes or better as my anteanna doesn't pick up NBC very well...wander around living room with antenna in my hands, trying to find the right spot ..skoot the footstool over and put the antenna down..it looses the pictures..scream at tv...antenna and Annie just for general principles..Margaret is at the door looking at me like I am possessed..
giggle...turn to Annie..wanna go for a walk..? Annie runs out on porch and Margaret and I follow to do our daily (except for Sunday for me) walk...Annie running behind us meowing like a maniac...I do 3 laps(leg cramps so bad, I had to cut back, but going to work back up to 6 one lap at a time), Annie does 2..Margaret does 6..Margaret sniggers at me when I peel off..wrinkled up ole rasin..Annie and I walk back to the apt..where I try again to get antenna to work..say fuckit and go back to the computer and do a post..save and go google for pictures..Turn tv on One Life to Live..scream at tv because everyone on that show screams at the top of their lungs..have to scream for them to hear me...they are all stupid on that show..Ah, now the good stuff..General Hospital and Guiding Light..I switch back and forth as I can't figure out how to get my vcr to record..Scream at Carly because she refuses to go back to Sonny, and wish some one would slip and tell either Sam or Lucky that Elizabeth's baby is Jason's..switch to Guiding Light and scream at Josh for not having any sense..'you know you love Reva and her sister Cassie is not right for you...jackass, going to prison to save a woman ..what a dipshit.'...go pee...make snack.
3pm..either I get my ass up and go to town and to the library or I watch Ellen and then Oprah..only watch so I will have something to scream at...'what do you mean ' the secret?'...that's the dumbest thing I ever heard of...good thoughts going out brings you money in?..what are you people stupid..Go to Community Grocery and get something bland and boring to cook...go to library where I make Henrietta's eye twich and her chin jerk when I tell her how stupid I think GWB is...make a couple of comments about my gay friends, and praying to the Goddess, just for good measure..go home..
watch news...scream at tv...make dinner...take meds...feed Annie...watch tv and read, make a snack around 7pm..10pm news..scream at Rusty the weatherman who hasn't got a prediction right since madra's shirts were in style..watch Letterman...laugh laugh laugh...11:35..turn off tv...grab book/glasses, turn out light..tell Annie, 'it's time to go to bed.'...she follows me to bathroom where I pee again, brush my teeth and go to bed..I get my bed all ready, turn on radio to oldies and goodies, Annie stakes her place out and I pet and rub her for 5 minutes or so...read for about 5 minutes, turn off radio, light...go to sleep....

sooo you all had enough...??Remember this fucking boring peice of shit post the next time that you complain that I don't post every day...Babs said I should just change the date on this and post it once or twice a week when I don't have a thought or subject to post about..
Gotta go...Margaret is here for our walk, and I still don't have my shoes on and need to pee..

THE GODDESS ANSWERS ALL....

The Goddess actually had to do some thinking on a few questions this week...I think my brain is still a little foggy from all the celebrating in Valhalla..Loki got drunk and shaved all the fur off my cats, painted the Philadelphia Eages logo on them and last I saw of him, the Yellowdog had him in a chokehold and was stuffing rocks up his nose..she made him promise to take the logo off under threat of a skinning of her own..Like small children those two when they get together.
Donna is overly curious about the 'shatting' habits of midgets..and they do squat..doesn't matter if it's in the wilderness, the desert
or the sea shore...They will squat..
The Yellowdog said she appreciates the fact
that you think she is the coolest 'older'
person you have had the chance to befriend..
But the Yellowdog wants you to know that she
has been this exact person..since she was 4 years old...and expects to be the same when
she is 80..age has nothing to do with it..
she just refuses to change and be 'an older person'...
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if he should buy a lottery ticket..of course you should..but one
a week should be enough..and the Yellowdog
said if you send her your full name and date
of birth she will figure out your lucky numbers...
Buddha_girl is all in a snit over Verizon and wants to know if calling them back and
dropping some f-bombs on them will make her
feel better..probably..but it won't do you any good..I suggest that you put pen to paper...the old fashioned way..no email...just a letter to the company president..and write to him calmly but in stong words, your impatience with his company and the way you as a paying company are being treated...if it works..it works..but if not..I swear to Thor...you'll feel better.
and as for the dry skin...it's winter time Buddha_girl..the moisture is being sucked
right out of your skin..
moisturize..moisturize..
moisturize...
Buy a new pair of white cotton socks..
a pair of white cotton gloves...soak
your hands and feet with a good moisturizer
and
put the socks and gloves on right before
you go to bed...take them off first thing
in the am..do this for about 5 days..and
you will see a differece...once you get them soft,you can usually just apply the
moisturizer in the am and the evening and
should be nice
and soft...
The Great Goddess who made us all, made the snakes with no eyelids..as they have so many enemies..they need to be able to see at all times.The Goddess is always with you and yours Buddha_girl...always with you..
Junebugg wants to know why her work days seem longer than her days off...This seems to be
the most asked questions by you humans..I
think it's because you have chosen jobs
that pay
well, instead of jobs that you would enjoy...maybe this is the time for you to
write that book you have been wanting to write...
Scottish Toodler wants to know..Should she
stay or should she go...I think you should stay...mabye visit...but I like you will
soon have bigger things to fill your life
with then location ....
Nit wit is having posting problems..subject
and time maybe?...I think you should post
about things that you care about..your
favorite author, favorite friend, favorite memory...best toy you ever had...write from
that big lovely heart of your's..you write..
we will come..
Yellowdog said she is sorry about the verifcation and the wait on your comments..
she was going to change it back, but the
troll said she should be burnt at the stake,
so he's still out there lurking like some
heat seeking missle..so until he dies and
goes to Hel...it will have to stay...
The great rube is disturbed by the uncontrollable interest in Anna Nicole's sad life and the fretting of 'who's yo' daddy'
about her daughter..and the lack of fan fare about the death of such a great author like
Kurt Vonnegut
and why no one seems to care..I decided to ask Mr. V himself...he said 'glory doesn't come to one in head lines,glory comes to those you do good things...and the joy that comes from reading his books will be here long after any one remembers who and what Anna Nicole was all about..plus he is sitting around a roaring fire regaling Thor, Odin, Loki and Od with
wonderfull stories..the thunder you may have heard during the last storm was the clanging
of mugs on the table tops as they all yelled
for 'more...more..
more.'
Normy wants to know how fish stay alive while being frozen in ponds...well, they don't..unless sunlight is able to get through the ice..as long as sunlight can pass through the ice, the ponds aquatic plants stay alive. If sunlight is blocked from the pond, the plants will die. After they have died they begin to decompose. This process uses oxygen from the water, the same oxygen the fish need to live..So as long as there is sunlight for the plants..the fish will live..if not ..they will die..this is called winterkill...
Mr. Vonnegut will never be forgotten...not as long as someone reads his books..
Nvisiblewmn wants to know the Goddess's idea of the perfect man....this made the Goddess laugh long and hard...there is no such thing as the perfect man...human or otherwise...even my
great love Od wasn't perfect..but he did have
2 traits that I found most enjoyable..a sense
of humor and stamina...
Cheesemeister is having problems with her website...no joy in mudville..You need to get someone who does this well, like Denise or Pixie..check the Yellowdog's blog roll..they
can help...
So, my funny sweet human friends...I have done my best..hope that I have pleased you...as you please me well..you bring joy and happiness to the Goddess....I bless each one of you...

SHEEEEEEEEEEEE'S BACK!!!

Greetings and blessings on you my children..I hope you enjoyed your Christian Holiday...What a nice mixture you have for your Christian holidays...dead people on crosses, bunny rabbits, and hard boiled eggs..then for Christmas you have a birthday celebrated by a fat man in a red suit in a sleigh being dragged through the sky by some reindeer...You gave up worshiping me for that??????

You have 2 days to ask all the questions you desire...and I will have your answers on Saturday...I still don't understand why there isn't any mead swilled at these celebrations...

....WORKING DOWN AT THE ....LIBRARY....

I worked at the library today so Henrietta could go to Austin, Texas as it was West, Texas appreciation day..It was pretty cool..except we had 2 teenage mavens who were my 'helpers'..which meant that after they shelved the books they wanted me to look up every book that Christopher Pike and various other juvenal authors...which left me no time to throw up my post on Don Imus...so this is my take on the whole Don Imus...'nappy headed 'ho's' fuckup..
So..it's ok, for every black rapper, hip hop singer to degrade, abase, abuse and insult black women.(including swiping a credit card between one of their butt cheeks).but it's not when it's 2 old white guys..well, fuckity fuck fuck fuck...I'm not sure what them rappers do with the money they make..but Imus raised over $30 million dollars for charities..built a 7-story pediatric clinic, runs a working ranch for kids suffering from Cancer and siblings that lost a brother or sister to sids..Plus...HE SAID HE WAS FUCKING SORRY... a lot...many times..as many times as it took...he has said worse...and will probably say worse again...but nothing he said, is nearly as bad as what Howard Stern says before he has his coffee..so all I have to say to the Rutgers basket ball team is...get over it and go practice your lay ups..As horrible as it is...Don Imus isn't going to be the last person to call you nappy headed or a ho...I bet big bucks that at least 3 rappers right now are writing songs about nappy headed ho's as we speak....I may piss some folks off with this one...

I wanted to let you all know that the West girls softball team won the District 12-AAA Softball Title....YEAH! And the boys baseball team is in first place in their district race...
Also we got 2 inches of snow..2 fucking inches of snow...wow..
Also we are having some excitement this weekend..We are having the 20th Annual Bluebonnet Cushman Scooter Run at the West KC Grounds..There will be approximately 200 vintage-type Cushman Scooters..They were built in Lincoln, Nebraska from 1936 to 1965. One guy in Waco owns 50-60 of them...I love Cushman Scooters..I remember them when I was a kid and wanted one so bad...I may go check that out..No admission charge and is on the other end of town...
Two inches of snow...wow!...fuckme till I go putt-putt..

.......THIS POST IS FOR ME.......

I have the best Texas news...all my teams are du'in gud...I am so happy....life don't suck...

The Dallas Mavericks are closing in on a record 70 wins..I think they will fall short by one..but still...they rock..The Texas Rangers started out like old people fucking, but won their season opener home game...and I don't know if I have been on another planet or not paying attention(probably both)..but we now have Sammy Sosa playing for the Texas Rangers...when the fuck did that happen?...I swear..I have got to pay more attention to Baseball, and less to Football..The Dallas Stars Hockey team is kicking some serious ass..they clinched a playoff spot..I have visions of the Texas Rangers winning the World Series, The Dallas Stars winning the what ever they win if they win it all...The Dallas Mavericks winning the championship...The Dallas Cowboys winning the Super Bowl and Baylor Girls winning the championships in all the sports they play in..like basketball, baseball, tennis, etc...and we have a shot at winning some more (if the OU girls all drop out of school) as the Baylor women's basketball coach Kim Mulkey signed a 10-year, $10 million dollar contract...hot damn..I think everyone thought she was going to take a big pay jump and go to Texas..but she stayed for security and love I would like to think...

Then to top it off.....Babe Laufenberg is going to be back on the radio as the announcer for the Dallas Cowboys...he left for a year and man he was really missed..I have been known to turn the tv on the game, turn down the sound and listen to the radio and let Babe and Brad call the game...but there is a football Goddess...they fired Joe Theismann as an announcer...Oh thank you Goddess...every time I would hear his voice I would throw things at the tv and scream at him to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP'... Jeez, I can't stand that asshole...I am not normally a mean spirited person...well, not all the time anyhow...but when he got his leg broke?...I didn't feel sorry for him...I didn't cheer...but I didn't feel bad for him either...asshole...and one of my favorite Cowboy memories is his skins getting the shit kicked out of them and they had benched him cause he sucked so bad..and it was his birthday and his kid was on the sideline with him....( I did feel sorta bad for the kid)..and the entire stadium sang Happy Birthday to him...I laughed so hard I hurt myself..Ok, so maybe I am a little mean spirited...

I was going to post this yesterday..but I decided to watch some video's instead...Watched The Island..which I really did like...I don't think it made a lot of money and got panned by the critics..but I liked it...watched Two For The Money and what can I tell you...it had Mathew and Al Pacino...what more could you ask for?...Judas Priest that kid looks good without his shirt...fuckme till I do pushups..boy howdy!

Then I watched Hide and Go Seek with Robert De Neiro(spelling)....and Dakota Fanning...wow, I got caught on the ending of that one..and ususally I figure out what's what by the first 20 minutes..but this one left me slack jawed..

Then.......oh man..I watched Broken Trail with Robert Duvall...what a great movie...not as good as Lonesome Dove, but it is really good...but pissed,as the guy at video world forgot that it was a 2-parter and only gave me part one.

fuckity fuck fuck fuck...so will go today and get part two...all I have left is Narnia, bedtables, wardrobes, lions, etc..what ever the title of it is...that was all 3 of my kids very favorite series of books when they were kids...and loved the tv show...

Of course I can't finish this post without some Bushbashing...this is from Doonesbury..and they are Bush-at-warisms....

"If the Iranians were to have a nuclear weapon, they could proliferate."3/21/06..

"No question that the enemy has tried to spread sectarian violence. They use violence as a tool to do that."..3/22..

"The best way to defeat the totalitarian of hate is with an ideology of hope--an ideology of hate..excuse me---with an ideology of hope." 1/11/07..

"Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is.I talk to families who die." 12/7/06...

Don't if just make you fucking proud?...yup...6 years ago..he couldn't even spell president..now he are one......

.......IT'S FUCKING SNOWING.......

It started at about 7am...and it's 7:30pm and still snowing...it's soo cool...it's so cool that I decided to call Babs and tell her it was snowing...so I call her off of her number on the phone..just found her number and hit talk..it self dials..but unbeknowst(spelling?) to me..it doesn't do the 1 for long distance..so the phone rings, a woman answers the phone...I say "it's fucking snowing, can you belive that?..."..she says.."It's fucking snowing here too, so I can belive it."...I then tell her how I got this phone call from Allan from Camelback blog and that's when I discovered that it was snowing...and it was really good to talk to him and can you believe it..it's fucking snowing...she says"uh, can I ask you a question?" and I said "sure, ask away"....she says..."who the hell is this."....long pause..

"Babs?"...."uh, no.."...me....'well, fuck...'...by this time we are both in hystericas..laughing our asses off..some how I phoned someone in China Springs and she knew someone in West, so figured it was someone she knew when she saw the 826 #...so after laughing and and talking about how great it was to have snow in China Springs and West, I hung up..still laughing..

Then I called Babs and left a message .."IT's fucking snowing."...

by the way..Shady lane sent this to me...Cracked me up

.......THE GODDESS IS HAULING ASS.......

She says it's nothing personal but this time of the year makes her a little nervous...back around 36 bc you Christians nailed the Son of God to a cross and she figures if you will do that to his kid...she can only imagine what you would do to her...so she is taking a mini-vacation to Valhalla and going to party with the soldiers that died during this most holy week...she said if a time of celebrating for the Muslims, Jews and Christians won't slow down the killing...then she will just go to Valhalla and be with her heroes, as there seems to be a never ending supply of them...of all religions and races...
so ...you're stuck with me till after 'this most holy season' is over...and she will be back next Thursday .....She also said something about training some new blue cats for her chariot..

So I am going to post about some things that have been on my mind lately...like the fact that so many kids are dying from overdoses from 'Cheese, ice, meth, smack,crank,and other assorted cute names...How are kids going to think what they are taking is going to kill them if they have cutesy names like Cheese...??? They should call it 'sudden death', the 'deep no wakingup sleep'...'crash and burn'..'deep shit', 'death on a stick'...'crankitupanddie'...not 'smack'..or 'cheese'...judas priest...

I received a e-mail that asked me to have everyone describe me in one word..these are some of the words my friends used to describe me:
charesmatic-(my friend Mary D. in Colorado)
unfuckingbelievable-(nitwit)
maverick-(Clance)
Westexan-(Jan)
insane-(Lavender)
Sexy-(Rodney..who has never laid eyes on me..ha)
supercalifragilisticexpealodocius-(Toodler)
irrespressible-(Carina)
Quirky-(Kath)
funnyasshit-(Steph, a email buddy from my first adventures to the internet)
effervescent-(sling)
firecracker-(ole Lady)
Awesome-(zero)
outgoing-(Nancy from West)
outrageous-(Ross, my Aussie penpal)
fiesty with a capital F as in Fuck..(Junebugg)
if I had to use one word to describe me it would be....BLUNT...
what do you think?
I am forced to go to Wal-Mart, damnit...so I have to remember my military training...
"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."(Major General James Mattis,USMC..from his rules for the Marines in Iraq.)It also works for shopping at Wal-Mart.

I just finished 2 books about English History which were novels, but all the dates, actions, etc. are accurate..they were really really good..about the Saxons, the Danes, Edward The Great...by Bernard Cornwell..first one is called The Last Kingdom, the second one is called The Pale Horseman...the third one is either just out or is coming out and called Lords of the North..I think they are yaftas...yahfta read them...going to go to library today and see if Henrietta can get the new one for me..I hunger to find out what happens to Uhtred the Saxon turned Dane to Saxon to it looks like...Dane again...Uhtred liked being a Dane but he wanted his old homestead back and not sure which group can help him do so..King Edward or the Danes...must be the viking in me..but I'm hoping he'll stay with the Danes..I also found out that the word viking is not what they called the Danes who came a looting, pilliaging and raping..it is what they called the act of raiding..in other words they were 'going viking'...which made them a viking..MMM, I feel a head ache coming on...cause that made sense when I read it..
ok..that's it..
fuckme till I'm a viking..

WEST, BY GODDESS, TEXAS NEWS

It's been a while since I have done a West, Texas news post...so here tis'....

We had 11 inches of rain in the month of March..and 9 inches of it fell in 2 days...It flooded roadways, creeks, and filled up all the tanks..

St.Mary's Catholic Church of the Assumption youth participated in a live, drive-through Stations of the Cross last Sunday evening on the Church's parking lot. Aproximately 1,100 people viewed this annual event conducted between 7-8:30pm...

April 11th has been designated as "West Day" and the city is to be honored by the Texas State Legislature.They are sending a delagation of citizens from various organizations and they will be taking 133 dozen kolaches to distribute to the offices in the State Capitol building.This will be the 4th time the city of West has been honored and West kolaches have been designated the Offical Kolache of the Texas Legislature..Personally I think they just do it for the free kolaches...

The Bold Sprin Baptist Church is selling their hamburgers again tomorrow...Jesus wept..I can't have any..and they are the best hamburgers ever..really...sigh*

A Spring Fund-raiser is planned for April 21st at the Fist United Church at 310 Pine. Potato soup, sandwiche with chips and tea are priced at $5. Cool potato soup is also to be sold in jars to go..I don't know why, but this makes me laugh..only West would sell potato soup to raise money..but the Catholic Brother and Sister United and the Knights of Columbus are planning a pancake breakfast from 7-10am on April 22nd at St. Joseph's Hall. All proceeds are to go to Families to Families in Guatemala. These families do not have clean water and $500 will supply a family with clean water...

Ok, I will quit making fun of them..as they really do good things..and I should be ashamed of myself..and if potatoes were not on my can't eat list..I'd go have a jar of soup..

Two engagements..Wilma Johanna Mechell is going to marry John Spaulding, jr. on April 28th at the Church of the Assumption in West.

Jennifer Nicole Perry is going to marry Aaron Neil Martinka on June 23,2007 at St. Martins Catholic Church in Tours.

Amy Michelle Troliinger and Christopher Levi Green were married at the First Baptist Church in China Spring on Feb.3rd..

Tara Nicole Clements and Mathew WEsley Schulze were married on March 3rd, on the campus of Texas A%M at Kingsville, in the Caesar Kleberg Wildlife Center..

Patrick Janek turnes 1 year old and so did Dylan Lednicky..

Bernard adn Lucy Pustejovsky will celebrate their 40th Anniversary on April 8th.They were married in West at St. Mary's Catholic Church of the Assumption in 1967.They are going to have a party to celebrate but so far neither of them can set a date as they are big into farming and can't get away from the fields long enough to do so...

We had 4 deaths...all of them in their 80's...

The Lady Trojans baseball team increase 12-AAA record to 6-0...they are doing some major asskicking..They have 2 more games to go and we expect them to win them both..go big red...

The Trojans win twice in district baseball and they are only half way through the series..

If you're looking for a nice summer home you can get a 3bedroom,2.5 baths, workshop, barn, stock tank, trees and more on 3.7 acres and no dusty roads to drive all for the great price of $99,900.

As you can see, it's another typical week in West..Last week we had some drug busts, but all but one were from out of town...don't know why they think it's ok, to come to West to buy or sell drugs, but our police nabbed them..They were at the Czech Inn and the manager of the Inn thought they were up to something and called the cops on them...hahahahah...BUSTED...

I am still walking with Margaret...but we now have a new member of our walking club....Annie.

She leaves with us and usually makes 2 rounds before she says fuck it and sits at the corner and waits for me to come around the last lap and then she walks home with me..Every one comes out of their apts and watch her walk behind us, meowing all the way..she doesn't like people and when they come out on their porch she will make a big detour to go around them...but she goes with us every day now..she thinks she's a dog..goofy cat..

That's all the news fit to print from West, Texas...as you can see...it's still 1957 ..

THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH

.......SKIP A ROPE.......

Henson Cargill who in 1968 sang "Skip A Rope," died on March 24th at the age of 66...dang..For some strange reason...I liked that song..and in 1968 I was pretty out of it on acid and Skip A Rope was a country song, so don't know how I managed to listen to it as my radio only did rock and roll...but listen to it I did...Not exactly Milton, but for some reason it struck a cord with me...byby Henson..

The ashes of astronaut Gordon Cooper and actor James Doohan, who played Star Trek's Scotty, are on a rocket set to launch April 28th from New Mexico's planned spacesport...Looks like Scotty will be beamed up...

these 3 little tidbits of info sort of link together...

"In beloved Iraq, blood is being shed among brothers in the shadow of an illegitimate foreign occupation, and ugly sectarianism threatens civil war."...King Abdullah of Saudia Arbia, taking an unprecedented shot at the war policy of the United States, his nation's close ally...
(Guess that means no photo op's of the King and Forest Gump tip toeing through the bluebonnets this spring...hmmm...looks like all that asskissing Forest did was a big failure...
His buddy just did to him what he has been doing to us...)

"If we cannot muster the resolve to defeat this evil in Iraq, America will have lost its moral purpose in the world and we will endanger our citizens. If we leave Iraq before the job is done, the enemy will follow us here."..President George W.Bush..
(let me see if I got this right...when we fought the 'engagement'in Korea, they said if we left we would be fighing them in the streets of America...Then we fought in VietNam and they said if we didn't stay and finish that war, we would be fighting the communist in the streets of America...and now fuckface says if we don't finish the war in Iraq they will follow us here."....WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT...no one is buying that anymore..you know you're really really wrong when your own party says your wrong and then your asskissing buddies in Saudia Arbia and now saying it's wrong..but what does ole George say?.....keep on keeping on...fuckity fuck fuck fuck!

"Calm down with the threats. There's a new Congress in town."...House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, telling President Bush to chill....

Sic'em...but please ..do somthing besides talk smack...action...we need some action...

I had to put the moderator thingy back on again..the troll came back...I hate to use it as it's a pain in the ass, but then so is the troll
and it's the lesser of two evils...

.......I'M FUCKING MARTHA STEWART.......

I don't mean to say I'm actually FUCKING Martha Stewart, (I'm not going to break my no sex streak of 22 years for an old broad who's done time)..but that I'm like well, uh...a Jackiesue version of Martha Stewart...got it?
West, Texas has had a few days of gully washers...and river washers for that matter..The Brazos is over flooding it's banks in places..it damn near sank our River Queen, the paddle wheel boat restaurant. Water was in the lower floor of one of the river restaurants and washed out many bridges and flooded some homes..We go 9 months with no rain..then get a years quota of rain..in 2 fucking days...Gotta love it...But after 2 days of thunderstorms, tornados, high winds, and lightning we have had 2 days of glorious sunshine, and high 70's weather...Bluebonnets every where...I are a happy redneck...So yesterday since I couldn't plant any of my new plants or repot anything because of our version of Noah's flood..I did it yesterday...I planted my 2 pineapple plants that my nephew Phillip gave me..he gave me four, but gave one to Margaret and Claudette...I was going to send 2 of them to Lane but she threatened to kick my ass if I did..so M % C got them...then I repotted my aloe vera which was so over grown it was sad...planted some nasty urchins, some more ivy, some sunflowers, and just generally acted like I knew what I was doing..I was so impressive that Margaret and Claudette came out to watch me...we had a little chat while I played in the dirt...I took a bunch of the lose suckers from the aloe vera to the laundry room as I didn't have room for them...one lady took them all..She weighs about 300 lbs and is in one of those 'scooters' and man, she really zips around the parking lot in that thing..she fell in love with Annie and was convienced she could get her to come to her...I told her I would give her $1,000 if she could get her to obey her..she 'kitty kitty kittied and Annie Annie Annied' till she was hoarse..Annie came as far as the end of the truck..and just sat and stared at her...every one in a while she would lick her ass to show her contempt for the human..but she never moved...just stared at her..I was laughing my ass off..
Thursday Claudette and I took my truck(never getting in the her car again...ever)...and went to Caritas...we went early and only had to wait about an hour..I got some great things but judas priest..enough bread to put me into a coma...and a case of tomatoes..not canned tomatoes...fresh red ripe tomatoes...fuck!..so I gave Claudette some(everyone got them but Claudette and she was pissed..heehee)...gave Margaret some and gave Jamie and her Mom some...I still have over 60 tomatoes..so I made a huge pot of tomato soup..which by the way was excellent...then I made some pico de gallo which I had on a turkey wrap and it rocked..still have tomatoes...so then I made a huge pot of salsa..which no one is ever going to be able to eat as it is so hot that my lips are still sore from tasting it last night..and I like hot salsa..but this is......well....I know what Johnny Cash was singing about when he did Ring of Fire...my asshole last night..I still have tomatoes...
Babs who is still high on pain killers gave me a list of things to do with the tomatoes, like run over them with the truck and tell everyone it was a cat...(april fools)..bathe in them...make tomato juice, tomato paste, sauce, etc...and mentioned something about teaching them to attack...speaking of Babs..she called last night to let me know how she is doing...she's up to one hour of computer time now..so she's making progress..
but we were giggling and laughing like 6 year olds...I swear we need to grow up..ha...no way....
So...back to the tomatoes.....I am going to take some and make some bbq sauce and some Italian Sauce..or at least that is my plan...although the way I'm going through the pico.....I may just make another batch of it...damn it's good...I bought a lb. of jalopenas and about 12 onions...all I need is some cilantro...no cilantro in West...dang..
Between working in my little garden and doing all the canning and cooking...I'm fucking Martha Stewart....
yupper...I am....

funny things I found in the paper:

"I don't have sex with my monkey.That's crap."...
Bobby Crawford, Jr. owner of a rhesus monkey, who claims he was falsely accused of pleasuring his pet primate....
this absolutely needs no input from me..it can stand alone...

More than 2 tons of marijuana was found in a hidden compartment of a tractor-trailer coming into the United States from Mexico at El Paso,Customs officials said...Where the fuck do you hide 2 tons of marijuana in a tractor-trailer?....

TAlk ABOUT A PANTY RAID...
Garth Flaherty, 24, was charged with 12 counts of burglary after police found as many as 1,500 women's undergarments...enough to fill 5 garbage bags...in his Pullman, Washington, home....
Maybe he should consider sending some of them to Brittney .....

Australian group says toad nearly 2 lbs..in Darwin, Asutralia...An enviromental group said it had captured a "monster" toad the size of a small dog. With a body the size of a football and weighing nearly 2 pounds, the toad is among the largest ever captured in Australia..
OK....the first thing I thought of was...man...now them's some frog legs...when's dinner?

Then my favorite...

THE MOUSE THAT STOLE DENTURES..
Waterville, Maine..There's a mouse in Bill Exner's house that he says he has captured three times. Each time, the mouse escaped, and the last time the rodent made off with his lower dentures.
Mr. Exner, 68, said he and his wife, Shirley, scoured his bedroom after the dentures disappeared from his nightstand.
"We moved the bed, moved the dressers and the nightstand adn tore the closet apart," he said." I said, 'I knew that little stinker stole my teeth'...I just knew it."
They found a small opening in a wall where they suspected the mouse was coming and going, and their daughter's fiance, Eric Holt, stepped in to help.
"He bought a crowbar and hammer adn he sawed off a section of wood and pulled up the molding and everything," Mr. Exner said."It was quite a job."
They retrieved the dentures, and Mr. Holt suggested his future father-in-law boil them in peroxide and whatever else he could find to disinfect it.
The mouse apparently isn't done. It frequently comes out and stares at Mr. Exner, his wife said..
"He's taunting him--- I swear he's taunting him," Mrs. Exner said..

Didn't they make a movie about this mouse?...I'm not so sure that I would want to be kissing Mr. Exner if I was Mrs. Exner, with them teeth in his mouth..I don't care WHAT they used to clean them with...eek!..

Well, folks....I hope you all are having a lovely day where you're at...Even if it is a beautiful day in your neighborhood...mine is better....I have bluebonnets...