I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

.......A LIST OF FIRSTS.......






I stole this.not the answers..but the questions.



I stole it from Sebastien..and if you don't know who Sebastien is..you must go visit his blog..Babs told me about him..and she's right..I did like him..and you will too..go visit him..he's weird..funny and very talented...here's what I stole...this is a list of 10 firsts...your first what ever..this is the list..and these are my answers...



1.FIRST MEMORY:My first memory is being on a porch, in my night gown and sticking my tongue out to catch the wind on my tongue..I also have a picture of me on this porch with my tongue out catching the wind on my tongue..now you're thinking ...you think you remember it because you have seen the picture..nah..I remember..

because I remember my mother asking me what I was doing..and I told her..she said:"So....what
do you think?"...and I said:"I think I have to pee."...(I was about 2 years old.
2.FIRST INJURY: I was about 3-4 years old and lived with my Aunt(pistol packing) Leola and my Uncle Terrell in Houston, Texas..they had a log cabin...really...it was super..the upstairs was a living room with 2 bedrooms and a bath..the downstairs(had to go outside to go to the kitchen)was a kitchen attached to a huge garage..My aunt Leola was churning butter in a butter churn..she left it to go down to the kitchen and for some reason...I was a butter feind...I crawled up on the butter churt to dip in and get me some of that sweet butter and me and the butter churn went rolling down the stairs...butter going every where..I landed on the bottom, out of breath, banged and bruised and covered with butter...My Aunt Leola said she ran over and grabbed me up to see if I was ok, and was cut in a few places but I was so busy licking the butter off me...I never noticed..I still have the tiny scar on my forehead from that little buttery fall..
3.FIRST LIE:While staying with my Aunt Leola and Uncle Terrel I would on occasion wet the bed..and I would blame in on my cousin Terry every time..who was a baby that slept in his own crib...I still blamed it on him..
4.FIRST PERSON YOU ADMIRED:That's easy....My Daddy....and that never changed..
5.FIRST TIME DRUNK:Oh, man...Do I remember that..My Daddy's Daddy was a bootlegger when I was really little, and he and my Grandmother(Big Mama) lived out in the middle of nowhere..they had a huge house,with a gas station/country store.Daddy Red would sit in his green leather chair at his desk, looking out the window waiting for customer..He would always have a water glass(remember those big ole heavy bottomed glasses?)...full of whiskey and a small bottle of coke..he would take a big slug, chase it with the coke and rub his tummy and go'ahhh'.
So Diane and I crawled up in his chair one day and we were drinking out of his glass, rubbing our tummy and saying:"ahhhhhh."...and then spin his chair..They all thought, isn't that cute..their drinking coke and pretending it's whiskey and acting just like Daddy Red..Well, when we started throwing up and couldn't get off the floor where we had fallen, they realized ..it WAS Daddy Red's whiskey...and we were drunker than skunks..I was about 3..Diane was about 2...They had to take us to the hospital as we had alcohol poison..Damn near died..I was in my 40's before I drank whiskey again..and to this day if I smell Old Crow I will gag...ughghghgh!
6.FIRST FAILURE:I would say my first marriage, but can't take all the blame for that one..or 2 and 3..so my first and greatest failure is being a mother...I really suck at being a mother..
7.FIRST SUCCESS:I'm still working on that one..
8.FIRST TRIP ABROAD:When I was 7 years old my mother and I joined Daddy in Hawaii..came back to the states when I was 10 years old..
9.FIRST CONCERT:In 1968 I went to Bull Frog Park In Oregon and saw Jefferson Airplane..There were other groups there, but I don't remember who..I was flying on acid and barely remember them..I think I had a great time..



10.FIRST THING I DO WHEN I GET UP IN THE MORNING:
I pee..

18 comments:

Heidi said...

You always crack me up, Grannie! You gave some really good answers.

My favorites are the butter churn accident and the whiskey episode. My God, your Dad was lucky the hospital didn't go ballistic over the accidental alcohol poisioning and call social services or something!

By the way, was the butter churn broken?

Nit Wit said...

I would have thought number 7 would be easy. You are still alive after all. So far your winning the game.

yellowdoggranny said...

HMHH:you have to remember this was 1945-46..and no one cared ..I think Big Mama(grandma) told them we had got into the medicine...
and no the churn never broke..it was wooden and was pretty sturdy...hmm, I wonder if my aunt still has it..she never throws anything away..she still has the costumes she sewed for the kids in dance classes..and they must be 40-45 years old.and the sewing machine she made them on..
Nitwit:you know ..I hadn't thought of that..but your right..I am still here..kicking ass and raising hell...red neck mother..

john said...

cool. your 1st concert must be awesome. jefferson airplane plus acid .

Pat & Reg said...

You kill me JS. I love the drunk first!

Normy said...

Hehehe... great answers... I'm going to steal that for my blog. ;)

yellowdoggranny said...

john:..yeah, I remember going into
a parachute tent..huge huge huge..and the sound of white rabbit was all around me..and I felt like Alice..feed your head..
reg:yup..you would think I would never drink after that..and I didn't till I was over 21 years old..but boy did I make up for lost time..
normy:yup..any one what to use the list is more than welcome..I want to see what your answers are to them..

the rube said...

man o man, you have a better memory than an elephant!

Allan said...

Great stories! Love me some Airplane...can picture being there. Pretty vivid first drunk too!
I remember my first blackout...

texlahoma said...

Wouldn't it be cool if time travel were possible. I would love to go to that concert!

yellowdoggranny said...

the rube:what's weird is I can remember shit that happened 55-58 years ago..but can't remember what I did 2 weeks ago ...what I said..or who I said it too...sigh*..that's a sign of old age ain't it..?
allan:yup...I loved jefferson airplane..I saw them on a couple different occasions..once in san francisco..on acid each time..think i was 40+ before i ever saw a concert where I wasn't high on acid..
Tex:oh Tex..you would have loved it..there were hippies every where..I had worked late and got there late but it was still going on strong...even the cops were high..or so they said..ha..think i was the only one there that would have been considered non hippy as i had a job, worked, lived in a apt. had a car..etc...i was establishment..but i always looked the part..bells, beads, and head bands..ha

Anonymous said...

So I'm guessing your children send Mother's Day flowers to MacDonald's or Colonel Sanders if you didn't do so well as a mother.

Unknown said...

Hell, I can't remember all of my firsts, must be the old-timers kickng in. Yeah, I'm still alive but there for a while I had my doubts! (see post for why)

Cyberoutlaw said...

Wow...if you can remember all of that stuff your memory is much better than mine. I can only remember the last one, LOL!

yellowdoggranny said...

Jan:don't know who they send the flowers too..just know they didn't send them to me..
junebugg:will go check out your post..
cyberoutlaw:I don't know why I can remember stuff like that..but I can..I can also remember the first word I learned how to spell..
kotex...long story..

Sebastien Millon said...

Haha, thanks for the kind words!

You've had an eventful life, love the getting drunk story, what a memory. Makes me laugh, rubbing his tummy and saying ahhh... I'm gonna do that now.

And Jefferson Airplane, I'm sure you enjoyed that show, even if you were spaced out :)

Your stories make me wanna live in Texas.

yellowdoggranny said...

Sabestien:your more than welcome..yeah, I can still see Daddy Red swilling that whiskey, rubbing his little pop belly, saying ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
I have always loved jefferson airplane...and had lots of fun that night, with all the people and the stuff we were taking..
everyone should live in texas..even if only a few months..it's an experience..
I'll have to do a West, Texas update for you so you can see what life in my little home town is like

Josh said...

Great list!

Butter makes everything better, period.