WHEN HUNTERS GET OLDER

Deer camp





Five guys from Texas have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Bubba’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

Bubba’s friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the four get to the camping site
only to find Bubba sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and
dinner cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had
handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.

And then she said,
"Do what ever you want."

So, Here I am.

JOKE

Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of
drinkers.

He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give
$500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness
back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One
man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back
up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the
Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of
Guinness.

Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses
drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan
sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya
don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?".
The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if
I could do it first".

NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Now let's see...
No Jesus
No Christmas
No Television
No Cheerleaders
No Nude Women
No Car races
No Rugby
No Soccer
No Pork Ribs
No Hot dogs
No Burgers
No Bacon
No Chocolate chip cookies
No Lobster
No nachos
No Beer nuts
No Beer or Wine !!!!!!!!
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Once a year you have to stop eating & drinking during the day for four weeks.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife bitching.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
And at least once a day you have to kneel and look at some bloke' s arse blowing off!
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

Seriously, is there a mystery here?