The Toodles continues with the presentation of the second award.
(Opening Ceremonies, First Award)
YELLOW DOG GRANNY
Yellowdog Granny has lived through many adventures and incarnations. She might be sober now, but I imagine her past life as being able to out-drink, out-curse, and out arm-wrestle pirates and Hell's Angels. She's been an outlaw and a housewife; she's had spicy affairs and been on the lam; she is a bookworm; she is a blogging political activist wielding her razor sharp tongue to champion the underdog. And she is mother and grandmother, of course.
She is like a character in a book or a movie. I believe Granny could stare down John Wayne in a high noon stand-off. I fully expect Yellowdog Granny to get involved in some intrigue or grand affair and have Sally Field portray her in the movie version. Her delightful reports of life in West, Texas remind me of a character in one of my favorite books, FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, and soothe my soul in these troubled times. The fact that she is from Texas and fervently anti-Bush only further increases my respect for her and my hope for our country. If I am not this awesome in twenty years, smack my ass and feed me some Dublin Dr Pepper and Bluebell Ice Cream.
I hereby bestow the Hootanahollernanny Toodle to the Hot Damnedest Rockin' Granny in Texas, The United States of America, and the whole world!!!
Fuck me til I get to West, Texas!
(The applause and shouting is deafening! The audience is searching for a glimpse of the reclusive granny! Amidst the showering of bouquets and the clapping of hands you can hear the murmuring: "What will she say? When will she appear? Will some of her magic reach me, here in the 22nd row?")
RANDOLPH SCOTT CONGRATULATES MS JACKIESUE ON HER TOODLE AWARD!!!
