Y'ALL ARE SPECIAL.....

I don't care if you lick windows,
take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself.
You hang in there, sunshine – you're fucking special.
Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad,
is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Today's Message of the Day is:
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, we should dance.

I got this in a email today...It always makes me laugh...so sending it out to all of you..let you know you are all special to me...not football helmet wearing special..but terrific friend special.

Was also going through my pictures on line and found this great picture of Nate, the 110 pitty bull dog with the heart of gold. This is the dog that when he found a drunk in our yard, instead of attacking him and ripping him apart like some pit bulls would have done, herded him out of the yard like a sheep. He and Mimi would bump the drunk into each other and just pushed him out the gate. This is the ferocious pitty bull dog that when I had all 4 of the grand daughters over almost had a nervous breakdown figuring out how to guard all of them and keep them safe from the doors, where in his mind anyone could come in and hurt them. I heard them yelling from the living room and went in to find that he had herded them into the corner of the room and wouldn't let them move..They would try to move and he would body block them. Then he just laid down in front of them and stared at them..daring them to move..I have a picture of him somewhere I'll find and show you..It's of him after they had left..and he's sitting on the floor with the top of his body just laying up against the door...just totally wiped out. He slept for 6 hours straight ...don't think he slept the entire time they were here. But my favorite Nate story is the one when a cop showed up one day looking for some Hispanic kid that had committed a crime (the house next door is the one he should have gone to..for many reasons.) and I had a huge sign saying beware of dog, a dog house big enough for a cow to sleep in and dog crap big enough to let you know..'ain't no prissy poodle living here'..So the schmuck knocks on the house in the 'I'm the law, you better open up.' knock and got Nate so worked up that when I opened up the door he bolted past me and pinned the cop to the side of the house. He had both paws on his chest, his big head right in the guys face and barking the 110 pound pitty bull dog bark.(which is basically all he ever did.)(his tail was wagging like crazy too.) The cop is screaming "I'm a cop, I'm a cop"..and was flashing his badge at me. I laughed and said "Don't show me the badge, show Nate, he's the one that has you pinned to the house."...I wouldn't make Nate get down till I was pretty sure the guy had peeded his pants. When I told him to get down and behave, Nate ran out in the yard and grabbed his big furry toy and brought it back to the cop for him to play with him. I'm not sure but I think that cop still has nightmares about Nate's hot breath an inch from his nose. I miss ole Nate. I had named him Nate after the only Cowboy at the time(Nate Newton) that wasn't under indictment for drug charges. Dammed if after Nate died, Nate Newton got busted for drugs. I want another dog so bad..I want another pitty bull dog and want to name it DUDE.... some day...We've had weather advisory for 2 days...which means 'don't go outside it's too fucking hot.' The temperature is about 103 and the heat index is from 105-110. Which is why Babs and I went to do our shopping early this morning while it was a little cooler..Think it was almost 90...We went by $General and I got a big ole welcome and a hug good-bye from Jennifer the manager..Babs laughed and said she's hugging you so you'll remember to bake her something this winter. I also got to see the 'chip guy' from Family Dollar, and miss seeing his cute little buns on Monday and Friday. So I gave him a little pat on the ass for old time sake. Life is good. They should make a movie and call it "Young Buns" and have nothing but the chip, bread, delivery guys in it..Wearing their little shorts and their cute little buns...jeez, I'm turning into a dirty old lady...enough...it's Friday, I have to go watch my soaps. Have a good weekend..and say out of the heat, rain, cold, and wind.

PLUMBERS CRACK

I had problems with my hot water heater...was leaking water all over the place..so they came and replaced it..First you have to know that I live in a retirement apartment complex, with government connections..These are really nice apartments..really..So when something goes wrong..they fix it as fast as possible. But with water heaters, because these are old farts and yes I fall into that category(sorta) the water temperature has to be set at a certain temperture and some of them have circulation problems and can't tell when the water is scalding. I don't have that problem and I love nothing more than a hot bath or hot shower..really hot..with steam..when they set it at 140 degrees, it barely gets hot and won't even cut the grease on my chili pot. So my water was still not hot..I complained to Charlotte, she finally told me the plumber was fixing the air conditioner in the apartment behind me..and to go talk to him myself..I could hear her laughing as she hung up the phone. She knew this was going to be ugly and funny..at least for us..not so much for the plumber..So I slung the girls into a bra, threw on t-shirt and shorts and went to find the plumber. He's sitting on his ass in front of the air conditioner and sweating like John McCain on the Letterman Show. I expressed my displeasure at the lack of hot water coming from my 'new' water heater and wanted him to either get me a new one or fix the one I had so it would

put out some fecking heat. He explained to me the 'inspectors will come by and be upset if they find it hotter than it's supposed to be.' I said I was sixty five years old and had all the fucking friends I needed, and wasn't interested in cultivating a friendship with the inspector.. At at the ripe old age of sixty five I was very capable of sticking my hand under running hot water and saying 'Ouch, motherfucker, that's too hot.' and removing my hand..After laughing for a seeming long time, he assured me when he fixed the air conditioner, he'd go by and turn up the heat on my water heater. Daddy always said.."The squeaky wheel gets oiled first.." guess that goes for water heaters too.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

100 people get the swine flu and every one wants to wear a mask.

Over a million people have aids, and yet no one wants to wear a condom.

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FACE THAT GIVES A SHIT?

Things I have said, and some things I wish I had said.

Take a good long look at this face. Does this look like a face that gives a shit?

I asked the Godess for a new truck, but I know the Godess doesn't work that way. So I stole a truck.and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
The last thing I want to do is kick your ass. But it's still on the list.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
If Godess is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

If you beat around the bush, all you get is a beat up bush.

Chin up..tits out.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.